Folie à Deux

Have you ever wanted to disappear?

Mia had never been one to panic. Usually she would just get angry and violent, but never had she ever worked herself up into an anxious ball of worry.

The fact that things were going so smoothly with Pete gave her the panicky feeling she was starting to recognize in the pit of her stomach each day. She stayed out late with Zoe, and she’d come home expecting Pete to be waiting for her, pacing as usual, his eyes dark… But now, instead, she would find him reading or watching a movie in the living room and he would just smile at her, all teeth and eyes bright.

Something had to be wrong. She just knew it. She had reached a new level of paranoia.

It feels like fourteen carats but no clarity.

Pete loved Mia. There were no doubts anymore. After she had almost died, things came into focus. He just wished he could have seen things more clearly before things had gotten to that point.

He didn’t think he had ever felt happier than he did when he was with Mia. He didn’t get angry with her if she stayed out late; he trusted her. But he was worried about her. Whenever she did come home late, and he greeted her with a smile or a kiss… he could see the shift in her demeanor, see the tight look around her eyes, could see her uncertainty and panic.

He wished he knew how to help her.

Untie the balloons from around my neck and ground me.

When she came home late yet again, she watched Pete carefully as he pulled a water bottle from the fridge. He came over to her, wrapping his arm around her waist, leaning in for a kiss. She didn’t respond. She just stood there trying to figure this out.

“Are you cheating on me?” she finally asked. He stepped away from her, looking at her, confusion clear on his face. “Tell me the truth.”

“I’m not cheating on you,” he said. “I swear. That’s one mistake I won’t ever be making again.”

She watched him carefully, studying each of his features. The way the corners of his lips turned down slightly with worry, the sincerity in his eyes. And suddenly she was crying, her hands pressed tightly against her eyes as a sob escaped her mouth.

And just as suddenly, Pete’s arms were around her, holding her close. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she buried her face in his t-shirt.

“What’s wrong with me?” she finally muttered when her tears slowed.

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Pete said quietly, pressing his lips gently to her temple. “It’s just going to take some time for you to trust me completely.”

“But how long?” she asked, pulling her head back so that she could search for answers he didn’t have. “How long will it be like this?”

“For as long as it takes.”

But you know me: I like being alone. And keeping you all alone.