So, Long Live Us

"Don't you think it's moving a little too fast?" Alex mutters to me.

"What does it have to do with you what I do? It's my life. My relationship. Not yours." I sigh and roll my eyes. He had no right to say that. The fact Alex couldn't deal with me and Jordan. Was that it? I didn't even know with him anymore. I loathed him for what he was doing.

"I'm sure Jack will have something to say about it."

"Yes. That he's happy for me. Like you should be. What's your problem?" I shake my head. "We had this discussion earlier."

"Don't give me that Maddison. Everyone on this fucking tour knows who you really like. Everyone knows what he wants."

"Then why hasn't he told me that he knows." I say, softly. Jordan was looking confused. I would be. Word obviously hadn't got round to him that I was infatuated over Alex. I decided that's what it was. I didn't want to admit to myself that I did infact have burning, passionate feelings for Alex because I infact had the same for Jordan.

"What do you mean by him telling you?" Alex asks. He was acting confused. I knew what he was doing.

"You know very well what I'm talking about. It's like I can't be happy when I'm around you! I want to be happy Alex. I don't need you breathing down my neck telling what I can and can't do. That's Jack's job. I don't even know if I want to talk to you right now. I can't stand looking at your face" I push my way past Alex and back into the club.

Alex pissed me off within a minute. I don't even know what he done to me and this time I hated it. Lisa was sniggering in the corner. "Do you think it's funny? I wouldn't be laughing if my boyfriend was a dick! Have a nice life with him because I can't stand looking at both of you for that matter. I really hope your happy with the mess you made because you know deep down you fucked things up a long time ago."

"Oh, I am happy. I succeeded. You and Alex argued and now you two won't speak." Lisa chuckled and slumped in her seat. I was too close to tears but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of crying infront of her. It would let her know I was weak and that's what she wanted to know.

"Well, well done. You got what you wanted now stay out of my life." I say as I storm out of the VIP section.

"Maddison! Maddison!" I hear from behind me. I was way past crying now. I was balling my eyes out. I couldn't breathe. I turned around to see Jack running after me.

"Jack." I say as I collide with him allowing myself to cry in his chest. "I can't stand them two. I can't look at them for another minute." I scream through my tears.

"Mind telling me what happened?" Jack wraps his arms around me. All I wanted was Jack right now. No drama. Just me and him. Talking.

"At the start of the tour Lisa told me to stay out of her and Alex's way. She told me to stay away from him or else. She was gonna tell him to not talk to him or something. She's been sending insults behind peoples back to me. She made sure I wouldn't tell anyone or no one told Alex otherwise she would do something." I pulled away from Jack's hold.

"And what has this got to do with Alex?"

"Alex has been acting wierd. He walked out and saw Jordan and I kiss but then began to shout at me. Saying about how he knew I liked him. How everyone knew. I told him that he should of told me sooner then. He's been wierd since Jordan. Then Lisa was telling me how's she happy Alex and I aren't talking anymore. She's happy about my fucking pain and it sucks." Jack wiped my tears with his thumb then proceeded to kiss me on my forehead.

"I wish I knew sooner."

"You wouldn't listen. I tried to tell you at the interview but you made me go back to the bus."

"Is this what you were going to tell me?" I simply nodded at my brother. "There was always something about Lisa."

"Jack. I can't do it. I can't go back in there." I say gulping. In all honesty I couldn't stay on this tour 5 more seconds with the bitch and her dog.

"I'll get you a taxi. Go back to the hotel. Go to my room. Alex can sleep in with Lisa. Get some rest and we'll talk about it in the morning." Jack looks at me. I nod at him. "There's my girl." He gives me one more hug and then gets me a taxi. I wave him goodbye.

So many thoughts were running through my mind. There was only two thoughts that I could concentrate on.

1. I cared about Jordan, so much. So much it hurt, but I cared about Alex so much more. That's why I was getting so upset about what he was saying.
2. In spite of that, I wasn't staying. I couldn't say bye to everyone face to face though.

Then it hit me. Go silently. No one would realise I was gone. I'd leave a note for Jack telling him to tell Jordan I cared and that I will see him again some time. I can't see Alex's face everyday. I couldn't take Lisa's snide comments and I can't hurt Jordan.

The taxi stopped outside and I made my way to the tour bus that was parked. I gathered all my things while crying again. I dragged the suitcase out with me and up to my room. I packed all my things then sat down to write the letter to Jack. Tears dropped on the page which made the ink run. It would have to do. If I wrote another I would of cried so much more. I knew I was going to see everyone once they got off tour but that was for another 4 months. I don''t know what I was going to do with myself for 4 months. I walked into Jack's room placing the note on the pillow of his bed. I placed the key card for his room next to it also along with the key I had for the tour bus.

Next stop, airport.