Suspenders, Stripes and Pain Killers, Oh My

The little girl from my dreams. Her name was Nara.

She was a patient here a while back. She was eight as I was sixteen. We were somewhat close.

Nara was so confident of herself. She loved life like a butterfly, she stormed like a ladybug, and she smiled like a bee. I knew that one day when she would grow up, she’d be unique.

She was quite in a bliss at her age. She was one of those who would help out others, despite her condition.

Excluding the thought that she didn’t make it one day. I felt useless when someone told me the news. I could have done something.

I remember the tears running down my motionless face as I felt an explosion build up in my chest.

That day, I wanted to storm into one of her doctors’ offices and ask why didn’t they save her. Why couldn’t they just spare one life?

Needless to say, I didn’t though.

The last thing Nara told me was that she was sure she’d make it. She had a confident young heart. She had a reason to live.

We used to talk about our futures after we would leave this nut case. She wanted to become a dancer. She wanted to entertain people. It was plastered on her face whenever she smiled her bright teeth. It was in her blood.

Nara had big dreams for herself. She flooded herself with her dreams everyday. Her little head couldn’t keep it all in. Despite the thought of her illness, she kept her head up strong.

She kept it real in a world of fantasies.

She was one of those who placed thoughts in my head that there was life after this bombshell. She was one of those who gave me hope that I’m worth living for.

I always had a theory that she was an eight year old lassie trapped in the wrong body along the incorrect age.

She seemed like the type of person who did not like to take no for an answer.

She seemed like the type who believed in her own thoughts rather than the thought of others.

She seemed like the type of person who did not do what she was told. Instead she did what she thought was right.

Nara was someone who I was not going to forget. She was someone who kept a smile on her even though she was in pain. She was an inspiration.

Nara was a piece of my faint memories.

I’ve always been so distant from many others. I did not like the attention. I have always kept it that way.

I once again stayed in my room. Nothing excited me in this place. Once I got here, I felt like this was my personal prison.

“Lou?” a voice echoed on the other side of my door.

“Come,” I said in a steady voice. I sat up as I fixed the night gown I wore. I hated it. I did not see why we patients couldn’t just wear our normal clothes then these trash they call clothing.

“Hi Louis,” Amber smiled as she placed a new set of blankets on the edge of my bed. Today she was wearing lime green scrubs with her hair braided as she pushed it to the side.

I smiled, “Hey.”

“How are you doing so far?”

“Good,” I tried my best to hide the weakness in my voice.

“Any progress?”

“Not too sure.”

I ran a hand through my hair as I remember my other night.

“Say Ambs?”

“Yeah?” she asked without making eye contact with me. I talk to her like she was not my nurse.

“I met a guy here,” I started and paused. I sighed softly, “He said he didn’t know that I was here.”

“What do you mean did not know that you are here?” she asked as she finally met my eyes.

“I met this guy around midnight and he said he hasn’t seen me around before.”

“Wait,” she narrowed her eyes.

Well, this isn’t going to be good.

“You went prying around the building at midnight? Louis, you know better than that.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry,” I didn’t bother to look up at her expression. Her voice explains much of how she felt. I shrugged my shoulders and continued, “I was a little hungry and my throat felt dry.”

“You should’ve called me or someone else to get those things for you,” she placed her tiny hands on the her slender waist. The sound of her voice sounded forced.

“I didn’t want to bother anyone.”

“It’s our job to do those things Louis,” she shook her head and sighed. She grabbed the nearest chair and crossed her legs.

“Now tell me,” she started in the same small voice of hers, “Who is this guy you talked to.”

“He looked like he was in his mid forties. He had quite a lot of grey hairs from the looks he had.”

I closed my eyes for the remembrance. It was fuzzy but I could get certain information out of it.

“I remember that he had a coffee mug with some blur stripes on it. He was wearing a–"

I froze and sighed. I couldn’t recall that night very well. The sound of my own voice sounded rough.

“He wasn’t in the normal hospital wear though. I think he wore a brown like sweat shirt. I think it was ripped in some spots near his collar bone.”

Amber looked like she wasn’t listening to me. I shook a hand in front of her face and said her name several times. When she finally looked back at me, her faced looked like she has seen a ghost.

“Louis, I don’t think he was a patient here.”