Shattered Glass & Broken Hearts

Em, please pick up the phone. We’re worried about you. You haven’t called anybody all day and uh…We know Ronnie was at your place outside in the hall this morning. Just let us know you’re okay, yeah? Call me as soon as you get this message.

Hey, Emily. It’s your favorite brother, Max! I just got a phone call from Hanna. I guess you’re pissed at them now, too, because you haven’t been answering your phone or texts and they haven’t seen you in a day or two. Just let them know you’re okay, yeah? Whatever they did, they care. I uh…I’ll talk to you later, sis. Love ya.

Emily groaned as she listened to both voice mails on her phone before she deleted the remaining twenty-two. She had already erased the countless texts she’d received from Hanna and Jocelyn – hell, even Ryan and Jacky had tried texting her to see if she was alright. She bit her bottom lip as she pulled her knees up to her chest, looking out at the bright city lights of Los Angeles from behind the Hollywood sign.

Ever since she’d moved to California, it had become her one place of relaxation – the place where all her worries could melt away. Often, when she was plagued by thoughts of her relationship with Ronnie, she had found solace behind the sign. She’d never attempted to venture past the camera-enforced chain-link fence, of course – it wasn’t that she was suicidal.

She just wanted an escape for a bit, that was all.

She realized that everyone was worried about her, but she told herself they could wait awhile longer for her as she fell back against the dirt, her eyes looking up at the sky full of shades of purple, blue, and pink as the sun set over L.A.

Her phone buzzed again and she groaned as she immediately pushed the ignore button, not feeling up to talking to whoever was calling or texting her. She just wanted to be alone for a day, was there anything wrong with that? Her eyes had just closed when she heard footsteps shuffling on the dirt path behind her.

“Let me get this straight. You’re pissed at me so you shut everybody out?”

Emily’s body jumped when she heard Ronnie’s voice from behind her, a yelp of surprise falling from her lips as she turned to see him standing there, hands shoved into his pockets, shades over his eyes to guard the expression on his face.

“How’d you know I was here?” Was the first thing she thought to say before her eyes narrowed. “It doesn’t matter anyway,” she finally said. “Just leave me alone.”

“I thought you’d be here because back in high school, this damn sign was all you talked about when we weren’t together,” he muttered under his breath, wondering how she’d feel that he remembered that. “And furthermore, I’m not leaving you alone until you fucking call someone to let them know you’re alive. Everybody’s scared shitless, Em. Hanna wanted to call the goddamn cops and report you missing.”

“It hasn’t been forty-eight hours,” she snapped. “I just…I needed to get away. Now leave.”

“This isn’t your sign,” Ronnie scoffed as he sat down beside her. Now that he’d determined her life was better off without him in it, he found it a little easier to be snarky with her – though he definitely didn’t like the feeling that punched him in his gut when he did.

“Just leave me alone, Ronnie,” she whispered, biting her bottom lip as she looked away from him as he sat down next to her, the arm of his leather jacket brushing up against her bare skin as he looked over at her.

God, he did good things for leather.

“I already told you,” he muttered. “I’m not leaving til you call somebody.”

“And I already told you. I’m not going to,” she glowered as her head snapped back so that she was looking at him. In the span of seconds that she hadn’t been looking at him, he’d pulled the sunglasses off and she was almost caught off guard by the amount of emotion that was locked behind his dark brown eyes.

“Em, please,” he told her, reaching out to brush some hair out of her eyes. “I could always call one of them myself, but I’m sure it’d mean more if you did it. And besides, nobody’s really talking to me right now.”

She arched her eyebrow before she realized that Hanna and Joss were probably furious with Ronnie. She remembered the voicemail that Hanna had left on her phone and groaned. They both thought Ronnie was behind her disappearance, she immediately concluded. The ironic part was that it wasn’t all Ronnie – it was everything going on. Her fighting with Max, Ronnie’s sudden reappearance in her life. It was almost too much for her to handle.

“I really wish you’d never come back,” she whispered to him as several minutes of silence settled over the two of them, her eyes cast down at the dirt she was sitting on.

He just sighed, his hand hesitantly touching the side of her face before he thought better of it, pulling his fingers away almost as quickly as he had placed them on her skin.

“I’m not the one who showed up at the concert,” he reminded her gently. Though, he knew that she hadn’t intended on seeing him there that night – from what he understood, Joss and Hanna had never told her about Ronnie being in the band. Hell, they hadn’t realized he was ‘the’ Ronnie from her past.

“Then I wish I’d never met you,” she growled as she lifted her eyes to look at his, her chest aching even when she looked him dead in his eyes.

Why did love have to hurt so bad? All her life, she’d thought it was supposed to be amazing. Disney movies had taught her that her prince charming would never abandon her – would stand by her through the hardest struggles. Her parents’ relationship hadn’t exactly been ideal, of course – and her mother and stepfather’s relationship hadn’t been much better, either. But she’d seen past that – she had believed in true love, in lasting love, because of Ronnie.

All love had done to her was put her in misery. It hurt so fucking bad. It felt like a wound with salt constantly, and she couldn’t help but wish that she’d never met Ronnie. If not meeting him would have spared her the pain she felt now, she would have never gone with Max to that first rehearsal for their band.

“Em,” he muttered softly. “Don’t say that. We had good times.”

She scoffed, wondering how he could say something like that in a time like this. He wasn’t lying – they had indeed shared good times with one another. But those good times were nothing in comparison to the heartache he’d caused her – everything from the permanent injuries she’d sustained from the car crash to the way he’d left her in a coma that night in the hospital.

How could he think of anything good that had come from their relationship with all of that weight in between them?

She didn’t reply to him vocally and Ronnie almost took that as a hint that he needed to leave her alone. But somehow, he just couldn’t make himself do that – not when she looked so hurt, so lost.

She only felt this way because of him. It would be better if he walked away, he tried to tell himself. She might never get over him or forgive him, but she’d be free to attempt to find someone else to heal her broken heart. Though, a piece of him knew that would never happen.

Emily would never be with anyone else. She belonged to him just as much now as she ever had, and he wasn’t even laying claim to her. It was her heart making that decision and he could see it written plainly in those beautiful green eyes that he’d fallen in love with so long ago.

“Baby,” he whispered the word before he could stop himself. Her eyes widened, and before Ronnie knew what he was doing, his face was leaning in to hers until he could feel her warm breath tickling the hairs on his chin. His breath hitched in his throat when he realized what was about to happen before she jerked her head away from his.

“Don’t,” she whispered, voice thick with emotion as she stood up, backing away from him. “Just don’t, Ronnie. Don’t try to…”

She couldn’t even finish her words as she broke down in tears, sobs wracking through her body as her arms crossed tightly over her chest. Her entire body was trembling as the sobs became stronger. Ronnie’s heart ached as he watched her, and he slowly stood, walking over so that he was standing in front of her before he wrapped his arms tightly around her, pulling her up against his head rested on top of hers.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered the words repeatedly.

It was all he could think to say, even though he knew it wasn’t enough.

Nothing he ever did was good enough, and especially not for a girl like Emily Green.