Troubled Youth

Back from Ireland, Jared and Ella gave themselves time to settle back into their apartment. Jared was already in line for a few more movies and Ella’s gallery show had brought more attention to her work. The two of them were busy enough that they forgot they were going to look for a house.
Not until they got a notice from their apartment complex’s management saying their lease was ending did they remember. They had two months to either sign a new lease or find somewhere else to go. Jared was all for finding a house and so was Ella, they just weren’t sure when they could go looking between their schedules.
Jared had ‘hired’ Ella as his PA when they’d gone to Ireland -which complicated how they explained their relationship to others- and she did the job just fine. She’d never really given it up and as a result was just a busy with Jared’s things as she was her own. She started looking into his schedule while Jared was looking at possible areas he wanted to live in.
Between the two movies Jared was scheduled to do Ella found time for the both of them to go house hunting in areas Jared had picked out. Shannon came back to California again as he had a very small part in a movie Jared was working on. The house became a three part share between them rather than just Jared and Ella. This bumped their price range up a bit and opened a few more areas to look at.
When Jared mentioned Santa Barbara as a possible place to live Ella shot it down. Shannon wondered why when the place seemed just as good as any but she gave them no reason. It wasn’t until later when Jared remembered that was where her parents lived. When he explained this to Shannon later that night while Ella was in the front room of the apartment painting Shannon understood why she didn’t want to live there.
Jared got a few days break from shooting and the three of them started on their house hunting list of possible places. Shannon felt like the third wheel most of the time because Jared wouldn’t let his hand leave contact from Ella whether it be holding her hand or resting her on her back. He thought they looked more like a couple than ever but said nothing in case this was an angle they were playing at.
In fact it did turn out to be an angle because while Shannon was checking out the living room of one house with glass walls he was sure he heard Jared telling the realtor that he and Ella were getting married and needed a place to live on their own soon. Shannon shook his head wondering if this was his idea of possibly getting a better deal on a house or what, but Ella had played along picking up on what Jared had said without so much as the bat of an eyelash.
For a moment the pair had Shannon thinking there was some development between them he didn’t know about. Jared’s small comment had changed their realtor’s approach to the homes they were shown and they were much better deals than what they’d been seeing before.
“Now I know this one is just a little out of your price range but I think the three of you could manage it well enough.” The realtor said as they were led up a long driveway to a white house fully gated and as private as they had seen yet.
“How much?” Jared asked pulling Ella closer.
“Well, the house needs work put into it. If you’re not bothered by that you can significantly increase the value of the house.”
“Yes, but how much?” Jared repeated his question.
“Around one point one million fully re-done.”
“Around?” Ella asked cocking an eyebrow.
“The price is six hundred thousand. The seller needs to leave soon and no one’s made an offer for quite a while.”
“Oh.”
They were let into the house and Jared looked over to see Ella’s face light up. He knew this was on the top of the list. The realtor was telling them the specifics of the house, how many beds and baths there were, but that was all on the paper in their hands. They were too busy looking around the place and imagining what they could do with it.
Jared walked out into the backyard with Ella while Shannon was led upstairs by the realtor. They made a few jokes to each other about Shannon and the realtor being alone but then fell silent looking at the backyard. He put his arm around her back and pulled her close kissing her cheek.
The plants were pretty much dead and the pool needed work but they sas what this backyard could be. Ella squeezed Jared’s hand and he returned the gesture. She looked over at him and he was smiling just as she was.
“Could you see us here?” She asked.
“Yeah, I could.”
“Hey! What do you guys think?” Shannon asked hanging out over the balcony of the master bedroom.
“It’s nice.” Jared said keeping his real feelings reined in because the realtor was standing right behind Shannon.
“We should get it.” Shannon continued. “I already picked my room. You two can have the master. That’s this one.”
“Thanks Shan. You’re so considerate giving us the master when we’re the ones getting married and need more space because there are two of us. That’s really great of you.” Ella smiled up still playing along with the game Jared had started.
Jared couldn’t help but feel his heart leap when Ella said they were getting married. He knew it was a game and they were only playing for the realtor but he still couldn’t help getting excited over it. Shannon could see the change in his little brother’s face when Ella had spoken, the way it seemed to light up and his smile became more genuine. He wished their game was real for his little brother’s sake.
Shannon waved Ella and Jared upstairs and then went back into the house. Jared paused by the pool so that when Ella turned to walk back into the house his hand tugged her back. She stepped up to be toe to toe with him and he pushed his nose into hers while bringing her closer by her waist.
“We should make an offer.” He said brushing his lips against hers. “I like this place, it’s got a good feeling Babe.”
“I think we should Dear.” Ella smiled playing along. “It’s going to be so nice to get a place together after we’re married.”
“And all the work we can do to this house, make it our own. It’s all I want.”
“You’re all I want.” She smiled kissing him. “And if this is what you want, then I do to.”
Jared froze feeling his heart leap again. How could she be playing along when she was looking at him like that? Her eyes were so soft, her hands were on his neck, one tracing up to the stubble on his jaw line. He was forgetting how to breathe and it wasn’t fair. She leaned in and kissed him so softly he felt his knees getting weak. This wasn’t supposed to happen to him, it was supposed to happen to her.
“I love you Babe.” Jared said quietly with his eyes still closed after she’d pulled back.
“I love you too Jared.” She kissed his nose. “Let’s get this place and go home.”
“Alright.”
They hadn’t even seen the upstairs yet and they wanted to make an offer. Jared was making the offer based on his emotions and the thought that if they got this house together then maybe it wasn’t all a game and she did love him. He wished what had just happened, though under the guise of a game, were her true feelings.
Shannon was more than happy to show them the upstairs of the house which wasn’t as large as the downstairs but just as comfortable. Ella stood in the master holding Jared’s hand and redecorating the place with her words. He told her the inside of the house was all hers as long as he had the outside to put as he wanted it.
When they were finished looking around they were standing in the entryway. The realtor asked what they thought of the place and Jared spoke up saying they wanted to make an offer.
“Great. This could easily be a one million dollar home or more if you put the work into it.”
“Oh, we will.” Shannon smiled.
“Well what is the offer you want to make?”
Jared looked at Ella but she said nothing so he turned back to the realtor. “Five hundred thousand. I want to come in low first since it’s listed at six, see where the seller stands.”
“Alright. It will take me a moment to write the offer. Why don’t the three of you have lunch somewhere and I’ll meet up with you when I get a response.”
Jared nodded and took Ella’s hand leading her out the door. Shannon followed after and the realtor locked up the house. They looked around as they went down the long driveway noting the gate and fence around the property were still in good shape.
“Hollywood Hills.” Shannon smiled once they were seated at a restaurant for lunch. “Such a good place.”
“We wouldn’t really have been able to live there had that house been fully ready.” Jared said picking at the fries on his plate, he’d already devoured the sandwich.
“Yeah, and had you guys not pretended to be getting married we would have never been shown that house either.”
“Pretending is fun.” Ella smiled. “I might like to pretend marry your little brother some more if it gets us better deals on things.”
“You gotta be careful with that though. He’s a little teen heart throb.” Shannon giggled.
“Stop it Shan.” Jared shook his head. “I am not.”
“Whatever Catalano. You are so.”
“I hate that role.” Jared folded his arms over his chest.
“Oh, but we still love you.” Ella leaned over and kissed Jared’s cheek but he made no move.
“You know,” Shannon leaned back in his chair, “just last week I read that you two were together. Spotted in Ireland hugging... maybe kissing.”
“Oh shut up.” Jared threw a napkin at Shannon.
“What man, I read it so it must be true. Next week I’ll see that you’re getting married and all the girls will cry because they’ll never have a Catalano of their own.”
“You know, Jared was telling people on the set that I was his girlfriend. Thought it was easier than saying I was his very well paid PA that took care of all his needs.” Ella laughed.
Before Jared could say anything the realtor showed up at their table with a smile on her face. They were told that a counter offer was made at five hundred fifty thousand and that was the bottom line the seller would go to. The three of them looked at one another before Jared nodded saying they’d accept that. They’d made a deal. Ella made an appointment for later that day to sign all the necessary documents and then they were left to celebrate.
Even after the papers had been signed and the house keys handed over Jared and Ella’s little game didn’t end. He wouldn’t let her out of his sight and still wouldn’t let his hands leave her body. Shannon was getting a little tired of it but at the same time he had to be a little happy for his brother. It was more than he got from Ella and Shannon wasn’t about to ruin that for Jared.
Jared and Ella had been curled up together on the couch kissing and talking as if they were planning a wedding and Shannon was turning the TV up trying to ignore them. When they were silent Shannon looked over to see they were attached at the mouth. Jared pulled back and took one look at Shannon before handing him the keys to Red. Shannon took them gladly and left the apartment climbing into the Plymouth and leaving for a while.
“Shouldn’t we wait until we’re married?” Ella laughed kissing Jared as he picked her up.
“Baby both you and I know there’s no waiting now.” He covered his mouth with hers as he pushed the bedroom door open with his foot.
He laid her back on the bed and while she moved up so her head was on the pillows he crawled over her. There had been enough during the day that he couldn’t take not having her anymore. She could feel his desperation as he clawed at her clothes.
“I apologize for what I’m about to do to you Babe, but I love you.” He said biting down on her neck, that was his honest feeling not the game anymore.
“I love you too, don’t hold back.” She kissed the side of his head.
Shannon didn’t come back until much later. The sun had gone down and he was sure at least by now they’d tired themselves out. He re entered the apartment quietly to find all the lights off and no sound at all. Shannon being the nosy little man he was couldn’t resist walking down the hall to Jared and Ella’s bedroom where the door was open a crack. He could see them both lying in his bed still, Jared was curled up behind Ella. Shannon wasn’t sure if they were asleep or not so he didn’t try opening the door more. He curled up on the couch and fell asleep.
“I think he left.” Ella said quietly.
“He’s always so interested in what we’re doing.”
“Maybe he’s jealous.” She smiled as Jared kissed the back of her shoulder.
“Maybe. I would be.” He pulled his arm tighter around her waist and kissed her shoulder again. “Before... Ella, did you mean-”
Ella cut him off. “Don’t ask me that.”
“Ask what?” Jared pulled his head back and lifted it to look at her face in profile.
“Don’t do it Jared.” She had closed her eyes.
“Why not.” He whispered leaning down to kiss her cheek. “Why can’t I ask you?”
“It’s not something you want to know the answer to.” She rolled onto her back to look up into his eyes. “It isn’t fair to tell you.”
He smiled down at her. They were both on the same page but still Jared tried to cover it up, “I was only going to ask if you meant what you said earlier about the bedroom, the paint colors.”
“We can paint it anything you like.” She put her hand on his cheek. “Doesn’t matter as long as you’re by my side.”
“I will always be Ella.” He smiled kissing her nose. “You’ll never look over and find me absent. I promise you.”
The corner of Ella’s mouth twitched like she was going to smile and Jared bumped her nose with his. When he opened his eyes to look down at her there was a tear running back from the corner of her eye. He lifted a hand and wiped it away.
“Why are you doing that?” He said quietly catching another. “Stop it.”
“I can’t stop it.” She sighed.
“It’s okay.” He kissed her. “Just lay here and go to sleep. Don’t leave me tonight.”
“I won’t.”
Jared leaned down and kissed Ella one more time before settling with his back against the bed and pulling Ella onto his chest. She put her arm over him and held tightly until she fell asleep. Jared stayed up a little longer looking out the window thinking.

Shannon and Ella did most of the moving while Jared was working. The house was theirs to move into just a few days before the lease was up in the apartment. Before they had lived in the tiny one bedroom they had too much stuff, now they felt like they didn’t have enough.
Jared would come home tired from working but after an hour of sitting with Ella watching TV and having something to eat he was outside with Shannon cleaning the house off and tearing up the backyard to get it ready for new plants.
Ella stayed inside working on cleaning up the house room by room. It was far from finished on the inside but at least the rooms were clean. Sometimes she would take a break from the great indoors and go out with Jared and Shannon to work on the backyard and get fresh air.
The pool had to be resurfaced so while that was in line to happen they decided to make it bigger. It was better to make the pool bigger while the yard was all torn up and nothing would get damaged from the heavy equipment that had to come through and dig in the back.
It was a few weeks before the pool was finished out. Then after it had been filled and swam in a few times they started to think about what they wanted to do around it, if they wanted to just put grass down or lay down flagstone. Everything would really come down to budget though. They’d spent a bunch of money already and were thinking about slowing down for a little but they couldn’t just leave dirt around the pool.
Grass would have been cheaper and quicker but after the three of them talked about it they decided just to get the flagstone done now. The way Jared saw it, if they put the grass down then eventually they’d rip it up to put the stone in its place. It was silly to put something down if they were only going to rip it up later.
That was the last thing they did to the house that year. Jared’s shooting schedule started to pick up and he didn’t want them getting too far on the house without him. Ella would do a little bit here and there inside the house like paint or hang up curtains but nothing huge like new appliances or flooring. She would sell a painting or two and then by a few cans of paint for the house so she could work on making everything look fresh.
Ella came home one day to hear both the Leto brothers laughing and carrying on. She came around the corner to find Jared sitting on the floor, a huge grin on his face, and a puppy biting his hand with its paws wrapped around Jared’s arm.
“What’s this?” Ella asked sitting next to Jared on the floor.
“This is a puppy that Shannon and I just saved from a kill shelter.” Jared looked over at her, “We haven’t named him yet. We were waiting for you.”
“How old is he?” Ella asked reaching over to pet the puppy.
“Three months.”
“He’s pretty big.”
“The shelter said they think he’s half wolf.”
“Oh.”
“You don’t mind, do you?” He asked her. “You said a house and a ‘big ass dog.’”
“No, I just didn’t know you were going to get a dog that big.”
“It’s a big house.”
“Indeed it is.” She agreed kissing him on the cheek. “What should we name him.”
“That’s why we waited for you, Mama.” Shannon said rubbing the puppy between the ears only to earn a nip on his finger. “Man, he doesn’t bite Jared very hard. I think he likes Jared better.”
They went through a few names listing them off and looking at the puppy. He had now curled himself up into Ella’s lap and fallen asleep. She sat with her back against the wall and Jared put his arm around her shoulders while the other hand rubbed the puppy’s hip.
“Half Husky and half wolf, huh?” Ella leaned her head against Jared’s shoulder.
“Yep.”
“What’s a big enough name for him?” She asked as Jared kissed the top of her head.
“Tiny.” Shannon laughed from the couch.
“You’re real funny.” Ella rolled her eyes.
“Judas.” Jared said quietly.
“What?” Ella picked her head up and looked at Jared.
“Judas.”
She smiled.
“His name is Judas.” Jared said looking down at the puppy in her lap.
“Decided.” Shannon said swinging his fist down like an imaginary hammer to finalize it.
“Where’s he going to sleep?” She asked pushing her nose into Jared’s cheek. “We can’t let him in the bed or he’ll never leave and it’s not big enough for the three of us.”
“Shan and I got him a bed. It’s in the corner of the bedroom for now. He’ll grow into it eventually, right now he looks pretty small on it.” Jared smiled talking in a hushed tone rubbing his nose against Ella’s.
“You guys are so gross.” Shannon sighed flipping TV channels.
“Yeah?” Ella turned her head to Shannon. “Then why don’t you get a girlfriend and see how it feels. Maybe you’ll leave us alone then.”
“I’ve had plenty of girlfriends, never felt that way about anyone.”
“One night is not long enough to feel that way.” She countered.
“Yeah, and you would know.” Shannon said standing to stretch. “You two aren’t even together.”
For the second that Jared’s heart had lept, Shannon had just brought it back down to Earth. The way Ella had been talking he felt like she was saying she was his, it had really sounded like that with the way she was defending what they were doing. Then Shannon had to go remind him they weren’t together.
Jared kissed the side of Ella’s head and got up from the floor.
“Where are you going?” She asked.
“Nowhere, just can’t sit on the floor anymore. My back is getting bothered.”
“Alright.” She smiled looking back down at the sleeping puppy in her lap.
“I’m going to go upstairs and lie down.” Jared said tugging his pants up higher and adding a yawn for his next sentence, “I’m tired.”
“I’ll be there in a little. Once this show is over.”
“I might be asleep.” Jared said turning to head down the hall for the stairs.
“Goodnight.”
“Night Babe.” Jared said putting his foot on the first step.
That was one thing he hadn’t dropped from their game, he continued to call her Babe. Ella hadn’t told him to stop it and he enjoyed calling her Babe. Anything he could get from her, anything at all, he took. Lately it seemed like she was giving him more than ever and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could take it without asking her what she meant by all of it.
Shannon followed Jared when he saw his little brother walk past the open door of his room. He had been rubbing his face and running a hand through his hair with a defeated sounding sigh that bothered Shannon. Shannon knew every sound and tone that his little brother made, he had been given twenty-five years to study them afterall.
Jared stopped to open the door out to the balcony and pulled out a cigarette as well. Silently he offered one to Shannon when he heard the door open and close behind him. Shannon leaned against the rail and looked down into the backyard like Jared was.
“Looks good.”
“We need more plants.”
“Yeah.”
“Next year I guess.” Shannon exhaled a cloud of smoke. “You alright?”
“Why are you even asking?”
“You’re right. I can read it on your face.”
Jared shook his head and looked up at the sky. He could see a few more stars than where they’d been before with the apartment. “I just don’t get her.”
“I don’t either and it’s because she hides everything, plays it all so close to the chest.” Shannon tapped his own chest with a fist for emphasis.
“It’s so maddening.” Jared clenched his fist for a moment before letting it go. “I don’t know what she wants from me and when I ask she doesn’t give me an answer, she tells me to just stop it. I can’t stop it. I can’t. Simple as that.”
“Have you told her all this?” Shannon took another drag.
Jared flicked some ash over the ledge and paused a moment. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I’m scared to.”
“You can’t be scared of her Jared. You’ve known her six years.”
“It might ruin everything though, everything we have... everything we don’t.”
“Jared,” Shannon paused looking into his brother’s eyes and seeing the pain there, “no matter what, she loves you. You know that, don’t you? She loves you. It might not be in the way you want her to, it might not be in the way you love her, but she loves you. She cares about you and if you tell her what you feel, what is making you hurt so bad, then maybe she’ll see something else. Maybe she’ll give you a chance. You can’t know until you try it.”
“But what if she leaves me?”
“She wouldn’t.”
“Shan, what if I tell her all this right? What if I say to her that she’s everything to me and I can’t live another second having my chain yanked by her and I need her and then she feels like she’s got two options. She can either stay and hurt me more or she can leave and never look back just to do what she thinks will spare me pain?” He discreetly wiped under his eyes and Shannon said nothing. “What if she leaves me because she can’t see me hurt, because she loves me in a way that’ll never be enough? I can’t handle that.”
“Would you rather sit by her side and have your heart ripped from your chest every time you play a game and wish it was real, every time she looks at you, or every time she ever touches someone else? Could you do that?”
Jared looked away from Shannon and crushed out his cigarette. He took a deep shaky breath and then leaned over on the railing covering his face in the crook of his elbow so Shannon couldn’t see him cry.
“Hey, hey.” Shannon stood next to Jared and started rubbing his back. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wanted to get you thinking. I want you to tell her how you feel Jared. She needs to know if only so you stop carrying this huge weight on your chest. I can’t take seeing you and the way your face just crumbles in those moments when you realize she’s not yours. It’s hard.”
For a long time Shannon stood rubbing Jared’s back. He felt his brother slowly get it all under control and smooth his breathing out. Jared stood but he wouldn’t look at his brother.
“You okay now?” Shannon asked.
Jared shook his head no.
“You’ll be alright.” Shannon pulled Jared into a hug.
For once Jared didn’t make a face when Shannon hugged him. He just pushed his face into his brother’s neck and closed his eyes for a while. When he pulled back Shannon wiped under Jared’s eyes with his thumbs and smiled at his younger brother.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.” Shannon smiled.
“Go on, go to bed. I’ll be out here for a little. Smoke some more.” Jared nodded his head at the doors leading into the house.
“Alright.” Shannon patted Jared’s shoulder and turned for the doors. “Night little bro.”
“Night.”
Jared watched Shannon go back into the house and then turned to lean against the railing and stare out at the night. He took in the night air and waited while he cooled off. The doors opened and Jared glanced back to see Ella there. He looked back over the balcony.
“Nice view of the hills.” She said standing next to him.
Jared nodded. “Where’s Judas?”
“Asleep in his bed.”
Ella’s hand rested on Jared’s lower back and went upwards to his shoulder before going back down again.
“What are you doing out here? I thought you were going to bed.”
“I needed some air.” Jared looked at her.
“Your eyes are glassy.”
“I smoked a little.” He gestured to the cigarette butts. “It’s been a while. Smoke’s bothering me.”
She nodded. “Well let’s go inside.”
“No.” Jared grabbed her hand as she started to push off the railing. “Wait a moment.”
Jared pulled her close standing up straight from the railing. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she pushed her cheek to his chest. Jared rested his head on top of hers and closed his eyes feeling her arms around his waist tighten. He felt her take a deep breath.
Slowly he loosened his grip and took one arm from around her shoulders so he could lift her face up to his. Ella could see there was something not quite right in his face but she left it alone feeling like he didn’t want to talk about it. Jared leaned down tilting his head and kissed her softly. She moved her lips against his and turned the kiss open mouthed but nothing more than that.
He pulled back from her earlier than she had expected and with his eyes still closed turned his head away from her taking deep breaths with his brow knit in the middle. She put her hand on his cheek and turned his face back to hers. Jared opened his eyes and a tear rolled down his cheek.
“What’s wrong?” She asked catching the tear and wiping it away.
“I’m just really happy.” He lied kissing her again only to pull back with a smile.
“I am too.” She smiled. “Let’s go to bed.”