Take This to Your Grave

Again, I was at Kate's; this time though, Pete was in the living room with his friends when we arrived. I had waved to him and followed Kate up to her room; she looked at me as she closed the door, "I give him a minute."

I frowned slightly, "Who a minute for what?"

"Pete." She plopped onto her bed; I sat at the edge and sat my book on the bed.

"We have to study, so I don't think I can even talk to him right now."

Kate snickered, "It's Friday and the test isn't until Wednesday."

"Yeah, well, I need to get my mind off things."

"Then I suggest you stop hangin' out with me and go with Pete."

I looked at her, "Go with him?"

Kate sat up, "I know how you feel about Pete. You'd rather be with him than me."

I shook my head, "That's not true, Katy."

She gave me a look, "Naomi, I wasn't born yesterday. And even if I was, I'm not blind."

I blinked, "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry," Kate giggled, "I would rather be with a boy who loves me than studying with my friend."

Just as Kate said, after she had spoken, there was a knock on her door. Kate laughed, "Come in."

The door opened a bit and there was Pete; my heart seemed to skip a beat. He looked at me and then at Kate, "Can I borrow Naomi?"

Kate hummed, "Go on."

He then looked at me, "Wanna go for a drive?"

I nodded slowly, got up and turned to Kate, "I'll see you...thanks."

Kate gave me a thumbs up, "No worries."

I smiled at her and then followed Pete out. We went down the stairs and out the door; I looked up and noticed it was going to start pouring soon. "When's the snow gonna come?" I asked; mostly to myself.

"After Halloween," Pete answered.

We got into his car; "Where are you taking me?"

He shrugged, "Dunno. Do you wanna go anywhere?"

"No...but, ya'know, I haven't been to your apartment in a while."

"Alright, my place it is."

He started up the car and went on. I bit at my lip as I looked over at him; "Pete..."

He hummed, eyes looking over for just a second, "Yeah?"

"I'm scared." I muttered. "It's just hitting me."

"Scared of Seth?"

"Yeah, and everything else. I don't know how I'll do this."

Pete frowned, "You'll get through this, Naomi."

"I know, but it'll weigh on me. It'll haunt me."

"No it won't." He said softly, "Not forever. I'll help you."

I shook my head out of frustration, "How could I be so stupid?"

"You aren't and weren't stupid, Naomi...you didn't know how he would be."

"I can't wait for this year to be over...to graduate, then I will never have to see him again."

"You shouldn't wait an entire year...you can't let that kid get away with it."

I didn't have a response. I just sat back and exhaled softly. "Let's not talk about it anymore, yeah? I just want to forget about it."

"Okay." He murmured.

"I'm sorry that I'm so on edge. I just don't know what the fuck I'm suppose to do. I want to runaway."

"You can runaway with me." He said softly.

I smiled, "I wish."

"We will one day," he said confidently, "I promise."

"I hope so."

Pete and I remained quiet as he drove to his place; it had started to rain half way there. We both rushed across the parking lot and up towards his door. He opened the door, letting me in first; he shut and locked it. I took my coat off and sat on his couch; I looked around and saw how dirty his place was, "Gosh."

"I'm lazy." He said and plopped down beside me.

I watched Pete reach over the table, grab a small wooden box and pop open the lid. Inside was some weed and a bunch of pills, "What're you doing?" I asked him.

"Getting stoned." He replied.

I frowned, "Those pills can't be good for you."

"I'm just gonna roll a joint." He said, "I'm really feelin' down."

"Can I try?" I asked as he began to pull out the baggie and rolling papers.

I looked over at me, "Yeah, sure."

"I won't, like, go nuts, will I?"

He laughed and shook his head, "No. Hand me that Rolling Stone magazine." He pointed towards the floor near my feet.

I picked it up an saw Jakob Dylan on the cover. I handed it off to Pete, and continued to watch him expertly roll a joint; the whole process kind of made me laugh. Pete didn't seem to notice my small giggles; he put one end in his mouth and then lit it with his black lighter. He inhaled deeply, looked at me and then passed it to me; he exhaled a moment later, a thick cloud above our heads.

"You take a deep inhale and hold it, kinda swallow it." He instructed, "You're gonna cough, and it's gonna burn."

"I thought this was suppose to be fun."

He smiled, "It is, it's just that you're a first timer."

I looked at the joint and put it to my lips; I did as he said, feeling the burning sensation almost instantly. I sputtered and coughed as it choked me, and passed it back to him; "Jesus Christ!"

Pete laughed, "I told you." He patted my back as I coughed. "Are you okay?"

I nodded and calmed down; Pete rubbed my back and took another drag. He offered it to me and I took it; not long after, we were passing the joint back and forth, getting high. I felt a euphoric feeling, no pressure and no worries whatsoever.

We were sprawled on his couch; he was lying with his back on my legs and his head resting against my stomach. My head was light, I felt alive -in a way- just happy. "Pete."

He hummed, "Hmm?"

"I want to marry you. Will you marry me?"

"Yes. I'll marry you. But, you have to finish school first."

"Okay." I ran my hand through his short, cropped hair.

"We'll runaway." He murmured.

"I wish we could now."

He sat up and looked at me, "Me too." He scooted over and kissed me quickly, keeping his face close to mine. He sighed softly, and then kissed me again, cupping my jaw.

This was the only time I felt out of control and I didn't care. I wanted Pete closer to me, I wanted him so badly, I wanted him to touch me. I wanted to replace Seth's touch with Pete's; it felt like the only way -in that moment- that I would feel like myself again.

I pulled back, the both of our breath had gotten heavy. He looked at me with a hazy, confused look; "What's wrong?"

I felt nervous, but confident. "Will you touch me?"

He looked confused still, "Touch you?"

I nodded slowly, licking over my lips, "Please? I...I want you."

Pete looked at me intently, rubbed his eyes and tilted his head, "Are you sure?"

I nodded again, "Positive."

He swallowed and then kissed me again; my heart was beating faster and faster. I felt his hand roll up my shirt and feel my skin; his touch was gentle, not rough. I didn't freak out, though I had suspected I would if anyone were to ever touch me like Seth had. I didn't think of him, I only felt and thought of Pete; it was relaxing. Sinking back against the couch, my body pressed against Pete's; his hand touch my breast over my bra.

I still didn't freak out.

He pulled back and looked at me, "Is this okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied.

Pete smiled, that lazy smile of his, and then started to kiss the underside of my jaw. I bit at my lip, feeling nervous, but all the same aroused and euphoric. He squeezed my breast and then trailed it down my stomach and then to the hem of my jeans. I sucked in a breath, bucked my hips and groaned; his mouth kissed down to my throat and to the left side of my neck. I exhaled the breath, his hand fished open my jeans and he paused a moment; I placed my hand onto his shoulder, urging him on.

I shut my eyes, only feeling, not thinking.

His hand ran over my underwear and I waited for whatever came next. I was nervous, my body shivered, and I tried to relax. Pete lifted his head and gazed my reaction, "So far so good?"

"Yeah." I breathed out.

Pete kept his eyes on mine as his hand wondered further. I gasped lightly when I felt him touch my center. I bit at my lip, letting a moan sound from my throat. Pete kissed my lips, "Do you want me to stop?"

I shook my head, "More."

Pete began to rub me through my underwear. I let out a groan, "Am I crazy?"

Pete shook his head, "No, Navy, you ain't crazy."

My moans and groans got louder as his hand sped up. I shut my eyes tight, this wonderful feeling bubbled in my stomach. I mumbled his name, both of my hands held onto his shoulders tightly. I bucked my hips, begging for more; Pete slipped his hand under my underwear. "Tell me if you want me to stop."

I hummed, nodding quickly. He continued, bringing me closer to the edge. I swallowed and moaned his name against his ear. He kissed me, running his tongue along the bottom of my lip; I opened my mouth; this only furthered my arousal. I placed my hand behind his head, bucking my hips.

I gasped against his mouth when I felt his finger run up and down my opening. Pete's index finger slowly, cautiously entered me; I never felt so overcome with love and sexual frustration. His thumb pushed and rubbed, causing me to groan and break our kiss. My head fell back, the bubbling sensation took over my bloodstream and I was at the peak of my first orgasm. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me, that I was with Pete in this way and I had no regrets.

I cried out when I felt it, my orgasm washed over me in a large wave. My fingers tightened around his shirt, and just as I had, the lights cut off and a thunder bolt hit the sky. I rocked my hips against his hand and let the feeling sizzle and wash over me. Pete kissed me again and then kissed down my jaw to my neck; "I love you, Naomi."

I panted softly, "I love you, Pete."