Feet First

I heard the dial tones.

I really was hoping she would pick up, oh, but in some ways I didn’t.

I almost hung up when I heard her.

“Hello?”

“Hi Annie, it’s Alex Gaskarth.”

She paused for a minute.

“Oh hey! It’s been a while.” She finally said.

“Yeah, I got your number from one of your sisters band mates. It’s crazy actually I ran into her on Warped Tour. Small world.”

“Oh, no I don’t mind. And Maggie’s there? Wow, I had no idea. Is that I big deal for people in bands?”

I laughed a tad, “Yeah it kind of is.”

We caught up for a bit.

About her boyfriend and her job, and about Warped and my band and just general useless small talk.

It took me a while to bring up what I actually wanted to talk about.

“So Annie, um, sorry if this is weird but, I kind of, I don’t know. It sounds dumb.” I said, I regretted calling her now. I wished I’d hung up during those first few dial tones.

“Alex, spit it out.”

“I think I might like her.” I said really fast.

“Wait, what? You mean Maggie?”

“Yeah, and I don’t think. I know I do, and I don’t know what to do about it. And the only person
I could think to ask is you.”

“Well,” I could hear the jealousy in her voice. I’d heard that voice many times before when we were together. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Come on Annie, you can’t honestly be jealous right now. You moved on and have a boyfriend, and I, I don’t know. She makes me happy Ann, she really does.”

“First of all, if I knew anything about how to get my sister to like you I wouldn’t tell you.”

“What the fuck Annie, why?”

“Alex you don’t honestly think I’m going to let you fuck my little sister over just like to me, do you? What sick game is it now? Trying to bang sisters just to say you did?”

“It’s not like that.” I said, angrily.

“Oh it isn’t?”

“No not at all. Because this isn’t high school Annie. I really care about her, and it has nothing to
do with the fact that you’re related. And frankly, you’re nothing a like, because Olivia isn’t selfish
and demanding like you are.”

“I can’t believe you. If she’s dumb enough to be with you then she deserves what she gets. If you hurt her like you hurt me, I swear there will be hell to pay.”

"Well you wouldn't know if she's dumb enough because you barely even know her!" I shouted.

"Excuse me?" She said, now I knew I'd done it.

"Why now Annie? Huh? Why do you choose to care now? You could've helped her four years ago when she actually needed you, but instead you choose now when I have every intention but to hurt her. Really? Why can't you just let her be happy?" I asked.

"Because she won't be happy with you Alex, that's the thing. Because you'll hurt her."

"Well, let's hope she doesn't fucking hold a grudge like you do."

I hung up.

I was angry, not just at her, but how I reacted.

Even though she’d said she’d moved on, she was still angry at my 18 year old self and there was
nothing I could do about that. Annie was Annie and she’d stay mad as long as she wanted to.

I was angry that I’d lost it and said some things that were not okay.

I just really hoped Olivia would never hear about this conversation.

I thought about my motives for liking her.

No, it had nothing to do with Annie, because I like her for the Olivia traits, not the Annie traits.

I like how when she gets really excited, she hides her smile in her hands.

And the way she looks when she’s concentrating on something, like playing guitar.

I like the way her eyes light up when she smiles, and the adorable faces she makes when she’s
eating.

And I love her smile and her laugh, and the way she just doesn’t seem to care what others like
about her, only what she likes.

And above all I like how genuine she is, how honestly caring and kind of a human being she is.

And yes some of the things she does remind me of Annie, but most of the time, the fact that
they’re related is a very distant thought in the back of my mind.

I sighed.

None of this mattered anyway, because Olivia hardly saw me like that.

She saw me as a friend, someone she could talk to and lean on.

I guess I’d have to take what I can get, because she wasn’t easy to read like her sister was.

I can’t always tell what she wants, or if she wants anything at all.

I head on a knock and the bus door opening.

“Alex?” She called.

“Hey, back here, I just have to grab shoes.”

I stood up and took a good look at her.

“Damn.” I said.

She wasn’t wearing what she normally does.

She’s normally dressed in some t-shirt or tank top that she won’t mind getting sweaty on stage,
but still looks good in, jean shorts sometimes jeans, and Vans.

But right now she was wearing a button up shirt that showed off some cleavage tucked into
some short black jeans shorts that made her ass look incredible, and I laughed as I looked at her feet, still wearing the same Vans she wore everyday.

She’d also put make-up on, accenting her already gorgeous blue eyes.

“Do I look okay?” She asked.

“Better than okay, you look, wow.” I said.

She smiled at the ground and bit her lip.

God, another thing to add to my list of her mannerisms I like.

“What are we doing tonight?” She asked.

“We’re going out.” I smiled, not wanting to give anything away.

She smiled, and we were off.

We were in Orlando so the place where were were going was walking distance.

“So, you homesick yet?” I asked her.

“No, why would I be?”

“I don’t know, my first long tour I missed home like crazy.”

“Well I don’t really have a home in Baltimore, I mean mine doesn’t really want me around.”

“Yes they do. They have to. You’re their daughter.” I told her. “And you’re a sister.” I added.

“Well, yeah technically.”

“I still don’t understand why you and Annie weren’t close.” I said.

“She just, wasn’t really around.”

“Oh.”

“Why are you asking?”

“I dunno just seeing if you’d want to talk about it.”

But really I wanted to tell her I’d talked to Annie, but I didn’t know how.

I was honestly still pissed at Annie for the way she took it.

But I thought about it, and she had a right to be mad. I'd fucked her over, and now she was trying to protect her little sister.

And she would ask why I called, and I didn’t know if I was ready to tell her yet.

I stopped walking.

“We’re going to a club?” She said, eye wide.

“Yeah, have you never been?”

She bit her lip and looked embarrassed.

“Well, come on then!” I said grabbing her hand, and leading her forward.

“Alex, I can’t go in I’m not 21.”

“Shh, that can be our secret.” I told her, and winked.

She laughed, grabbed my hand, and we went inside.