Better Than Me

Monday afternoon, Riley boarded the plane that would carry her to Houston, Texas. She would only be in Texas for about twenty-four hours. As soon as the interview with Myles Kennedy was over, she was catching a flight to Missouri. Black Veil Brides were playing in Maryland Heights on Tuesday night, and the other girls were going to meet Riley there.

Frowning, Riley fastened her seatbelt and tried to relax. Three full days with Andy, she thought. Then...

She and Corinne were going back to Alabama. They would be flying to Birmingham early Saturday morning and spending the day with David, Cody, and Jacob. Neither girl had bothered to inform Lynam of these plans. It was meant to be a surprise. Riley hadn't told Andy, either.

Corinne had been reluctant at first. However, when Riley had looked at her and said, with complete honesty, "I need this," Corinne had caved. Recently, Riley had been annoyed with Corinne, annoyed at the warnings about Jacob, yet she'd realized that Corinne's agreeing to accompany her to Alabama for a night with Lynam was a sign of her unwavering love and loyalty.

Riley did feel a twinge of guilt about persuading Corinne to do this. Corinne didn't know that Riley had seen Jacob last Wednesday. No one else knew. Riley had convinced herself that it wasn't worth mentioning. What did it matter that she and Jacob had hung out at the studio for a bit, followed by dinner? That was all that had happened. If it had been anyone besides Jacob, she wouldn't have even thought twice about not saying anything to anyone.

As usual when flying, Riley distracted herself with her cell. She had an unread text from Andy. "I can't wait to see you tomorrow."

A wave of sadness washed over her. She wished that she could express the same sentiment, but it wouldn't be one-hundred percent truthful and she hated the idea of lying to Andy. Even a little white lie to spare his feelings was generally too much for her--she only resorted to that in extreme circumstances. They had always been open and honest with each other.

Riley plugged in her earphones. She logged in to Facebook and iTunes. Her Lynam playlist had grown to encompass Mars Electric and two other bands out of Birmingham that Jacob had worked with but was not a member: The Velcro Pygmies and Maylene and the Sons of Disaster.

The first song that popped up was "Listen Close" by Maylene and the Sons of Disaster.

"It's been a while and a million miles since I've seen the sun shine on your face/A long time coming, but now I'm running back home/The southern pines and the neon signs, and every back road between the two/Out of sight don't mean out of mind to me.

"Carry on this way/I'm singing to you from somewhere tonight/Am I getting through?/(Is it getting through?)/I choke on every word and it never comes out right/This would be so much easier standing next to you.

"I didn't know what I was looking for, but I found it when I took your hand/That cheshire smile still cuts me down to the bone/Preacher says it's for rich or poor, we see a lot of the latter of two/I've been gone so long, I'm afraid I might be losing you..."

Riley smiled and focused on her notifications. She wasn't surprised to find messages from both David and Jacob.

"It was a simple choice, really," David had written, referring to his decision to be a band guy full-time. "I was putting so much time into Lynam, staying out late for shows and dragging my ass in late at work, that I got fired. It was either take Lynam seriously and make it my career, or find another lame job that I would inevitably get fired from."

Riley shook her head. David was the only member of a band she'd ever spoken to who hadn't said that it had always been his dream to be a famous rock star. "That's deep, Lynam," she typed in response. "No passion or anything. Just a desire not to have to get a REAL job. ;P"

She then went to the message from Jacob. It was short, as messages from Jacob tended to be. "I don't want to cause problems between you and Andy, but I would like to hang out with you during my free time in L.A. Let's be honest. You'll never be in Alabama again, except to visit your family."

Riley smirked. That's what you think.

She was dying to tell him that she would, in fact, be in Alabama in a mere five days. She resisted the urge, though. "It won't cause problems," she sent to him instead. "And I will be offended if you don't spend some of your free time with me. :)"

Riley paused, her gaze drawn to his profile picture. It was a close-up shot of his face. The photo had been edited slightly to make his eyes an even more brilliant shade of blue, his skin a purer shade of white, and his hair the deepest shade of black shot through with copper. His expression was one of mild irritation, but somehow that only enhanced his natural sex appeal.

Jacob was sexy. There was no denying it. He was also mild-mannered and polite and sweet and funny. He was the total package and one day, some woman was going to be lucky enough to have him.

But it won't be me, Riley said firmly to herself. I already have a perfect man. And even if things don't work out with Andy, if I realize I can't be with him for the rest of my life, I won't turn to Jacob. It wouldn't be fair. Especially for Jacob.

She skipped through her playlist until she landed on Lynam's "Letting Go." Just the first line caused chills all over her body.

"I don't want to argue anymore/I can't change you/I don't understand what we're fighting for/So much to lose/I never thought that it would get this far/And now I can't believe that you walked away from it all.

"You said goodbye to all we had/You stole forever/You only love me in my head/I should have known better/I can't believe the things you said/Your words run so cold/Oh, I'm letting go.

"And only you can make this go away/And only you make me feel this way/I'm not angry anymore/Another lesson learned/Forgot all about what we're fighting for.

"You said goodbye to all we had/You stole forever/You only love me in my head/I should have known better/I can't believe the things you said/Your words run so cold/Oh, I'm letting go.

"Someday, you'll realize what you've done/Someday, you'll wake up alone."

The guitar solo hit her ears and the tension simply drained from her body. Riley shut her eyes. She wondered if she could get Jacob to play this song for her Saturday night.

The next song randomly selected was "Tanis." Riley shifted into a more comfortable position. She could stay on this plane all day as long as she had Jacob singing to her.

**********

The interview with Myles Kennedy went off without a hitch. He was an amazingly nice person and Riley was quickly at ease around him, making the interview more like a casual conversation than work.

Riley had just enough time for lunch before she had to go to the airport. She again spent the flight with Jacob's voice drowning out the surrounding noises.

Andy and Ashley were waiting at the airport in St. Louis. Riley greeted each of them with a hug, giving Andy a kiss as well.

"How'd the interview go?" Andy inquired as he grabbed one of her suitcases off the luggage carousel.

"Perfectly," Riley replied. "Myles is an angel. I'm half in love with him now."

"You were already 'half in love' with him because of his voice."

"Oh. Yeah. Then I guess I'm three-quarters of the way in love with him now."

Andy chuckled. "So I probably shouldn't let you around him ever again, right?"

"That would probably be for the best."

Ashley spotted her second bag and picked it up. With Andy in the lead, the three of them walked out to a red SUV.

"One of the staff at the venue let us borrow it," Ashley said.

"Does this member of the staff happen to be female?" Riley queried.

Ashley flashed his customary arrogant smirk. "Maybe."

"I don't want to know what favor you did to earn access to her vehicle," Riley said. "I really don't."

"I just--"

"I SAID I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" Riley yelled, covering her ears.

Laughing, Andy and Ashley tossed Riley's stuff in the back. Riley rode up front with Andy.

"Why are you here?" Riley said to Ashley, twisting in her seat to look at him.

"Am I not allowed to miss you, too? We are friends, aren't we?"

Riley arched an eyebrow. "You were going to be all alone while Jeremy, Jake, and CC reunited with the other girls?"

Ashley stuck his tongue out at her.

"I thought you had a friend on the venue staff."

"She's sleeping," Ashley said. "She's working the show tonight--"

"And being worked by you," Andy chimed in.

"--so she needs her rest," Ashley concluded.

"Have you ever considered getting yourself fixed?" Riley asked Ashley sweetly.

He flipped her off as Andy chuckled. Andy changed the subject and the guys launched into a discussion about the set list for tonight. Riley turned to watch the passing scenery. It was going to be a long three days.

**********

The guys played in Chicago, Illinois, on Wednesday and Madison, Wisconsin, on Thursday. They had a night off on Friday. The majority of the day was used for the drive to Minneapolis, Minnesota, where their show was to be Saturday night.

While the guys were checking into the hotel, Riley used her cell to book her and Corinne's flight to Birmingham, Alabama. The earliest flight she could get would land at the airport in Birmingham at approximately six-fifteen p.m.

"Riley," Andy said, coming over to her. "Let's go. We have a couple of hours before we have to meet everyone else for dinner."

Riley pocketed her cell and followed Andy to the elevator. Their room was on the second floor. They were barely through the door when Andy gathered her into his arms and kissed her.

Two hours later, Riley and Andy were crossing the lobby to join their friends. Riley was dreading the evening ahead. She'd already done something she'd never thought she would do--she'd faked an orgasm with Andy. Now, she was going to have to fake happiness with everyone else.

The guys had researched restaurants in the area and had chosen a bar and grill that was less than a mile from the hotel. Riley had actually managed to let go of her stress and stop dwelling on her problems. She was having a pretty good time, surrounded by her best friends and not having to direct her full attention on Andy.

But Christian ruined everything.

"I wish you and Riley weren't leaving tomorrow," he said to Corinne.

Andy looked at Riley, a faint crease between his eyebrows. His eyes held his puzzlement. "You're leaving tomorrow?"

Riley bit her lip. Busted. She had known she'd have to tell Andy that she was leaving Saturday morning, but she'd hoped not to have to tell him why. He wasn't going to react well to the news that she was going to Alabama, especially since she would be seeing Lynam while there. There was no way to avoid telling him now, however; if Corinne had told Christian they were leaving Saturday, she'd definitely given him the reason.

"Riley?" Andy said.

"Yeah," Riley murmured. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Why? I thought you said you could get the interview written Sunday night, that it wouldn't be a problem."

"I'm not going home tomorrow. Cori and I are going to Alabama."

Andy was silent for a long moment. Then, abruptly, he stood up. He dropped some money on the table and walked out of the restaurant.

Sammi, Piper, Jeremy, Jake, Ashley, and Christian were all confused. Corinne was giving Riley a mildly disapproving scowl. Riley could practically hear the lecture that Corinne wanted to unleash on her: "You didn't tell him? Why? You were just going to leave and let him assume you went back to Los Angeles? That's a lie, Riley. Lying by omission is still a lie."

Sighing, Riley got to her feet. She didn't even attempt an explanation; she simply went after Andy.

She found him halfway back to the hotel. He was slumped against the side of a building, smoking a cigarette. She knew he was expecting her. He had known she would chase him. She had always chased him when he was upset.

"Why are you going to Alabama, Riley?" he demanded as she reached him. "Or should I even fucking ask?"

"Cori and I are going to see some of our friends, Andy."

"Don't drag Cori into this. This isn't about her. This is about you going to see him."

"It's not like that!"

"If it's not like that, why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm telling you now."

Andy pitched away his cigarette and advanced on her, grabbing her shoulders. "When you called me last Thursday to tell me you had the interview with Myles and the rest of the week for me, you'd already planned the trip to Alabama. Hadn't you?"

"No," Riley answered. "Cori and I toyed with the idea for a couple of days. It wasn't definite until Sunday."

"So why didn't you immediately call me and let me know?"

"Because I knew you'd do this." Riley shrugged off his hold. "You don't trust me, Andy."

"You're acting guilty, Riley," he retorted. "You've been acting odd every since the weekend in Alabama."

"Nothing has happened with Jacob. Nothing ever will. But I have fun with him. I like David and Cody, too. Why is it so wrong for me to visit them?"

"It's not wrong! You're ignoring all of my concerns about Jacob. I don't trust him!" Andy exhaled loudly. "I'm your boyfriend, Riley. I love you. I deserve to know--"

"You don't deserve to know where I am and who I'm with at all times!" Riley cut in sharply. "I don't like that possessive bullshit, and you know it."

"Fine." Andy crossed his arms over his chest and towered over her. "And I don't like liars."

"I didn't lie."

"You were going to say you were leaving tomorrow and just let me think you were going home."

"I'm sorry, Andy," Riley said earnestly. "I didn't think it was that big of a deal, and I didn't want to fight."

"I know. I just can't listen to this right now. Have fun in Alabama." He stormed off in the opposite direction from the hotel.

Riley watched him go. She wasn't even going to try to fix this tonight. Maybe he was right. Maybe he was wrong. The whole situation was fucked up, and Riley knew they could never be like they were until she figured out what she wanted. As long as she was in the dark about her own desires, she was going to keep fucking everything up.