Better Than Me

Yawning, Riley trudged into the kitchen and straight to the cupboard for a mug. There was a fresh pot of coffee waiting on the counter. She filled her mug, added sugar and milk, and went into the living room.

Jacob was sitting on the sofa, reading something on his cell. He glanced up at Riley's entry and smiled. "Morning."

"Morning." She sank down at the opposite end of the sofa, folding her legs Indian-style. She sipped her coffee in silence; she didn't want to interrupt Jacob in case whatever he was reading was important.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked.

"A hurricane wouldn't have woken me," Riley said. "I'm not used to staying out until five a.m. anymore."

"It wouldn't have been so late if Cody hadn't been craving Waffle House," Jacob reminded her.

Riley shook her head. "How can anyone crave Waflle House? The food is good and all, but to actually crave it..."

"In his defense, we practically live on diner food every weekend."

"True."

Jacob set his cell on the coffee table and looked at her. "What do you want to do today?"

"I dunno. What do you usually do on your off-days?"

"Plan for all of my on-days."

Riley laughed. "Sounds fun."

"It's absolutely thrilling," Jacob said sarcastically.

"I've been away for a while. What is there to do in Birmingham on a Sunday?"

"The same thing there always was to do in Birmingham on a Sunday."

"Not a damn thing?"

"You got it."

Riley focused on the mug cradled in her hands. "Um...we could visit my parents." She was afraid to look at Jacob. She felt that she was taking advantage of him--she'd already expected him to put aside their differences and his feelings and let her stay with him. He had offered to drive her to Cullman on Saturday morning because he was being nice, not because he really wanted to. He didn't owe her a damn thing.

"Okay," he agreed.

Riley's eyes flicked to him. "Really?"

"If that's what you want to do."

"It was just a random suggestion. It doesn't matter."

"Riley." Jacob waited until she looked him full in the face to continue. "I would have taken you to Cullman whenever you wanted to go. That doesn't change just because you decided to spend last night here. Do you want to see your parents?"

Riley smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I do."

"Do you want to eat breakfast here, or stop for something on the way?"

"Let's get something on the way."

"Alright. I'll be ready to go in an hour. Does that work for you?"

Riley nodded. Then, she stood up and walked to his end of the sofa, bending over to hug him. "Thank you, Jacob."

"You're welcome, darlin'."

A little over an hour later, they were on the road and Riley was once again in charge of the music.

"Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor/Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it any more/And I wonder if I ever cross your mind/For me it happens all the time," Riley sang along with Lady Antebellum. "It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone, and I need you now/Said I wouldn't call, but I've lost all control and I need you now/And I don't know how I can do without/I just need you now..."

"Another shot of whiskey, can't stop lookin' at the door," Jacob jumped in, taking over the male vocals. "Wishin' you'd come sweeping in the way you did before--"

"And I wonder if I ever cross your mind," Riley harmonized.

"For me it happens all the time."

"It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk, and I need you now," Riley and Jacob sang together. "Said I wouldn't call, but I've lost all control, and I need you now. And I don't know how I can do without/I just need you now.

"Yes, I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all..."

"That's what we should have done last night," Jacob commented.

Riley nodded in agreement. She had to admit, they sounded pretty amazing together.

"You have an interesting music library," Jacob observed as she selected another song. "I never know what I'm about to hear."

"Everyone says that."

"What is this?" Jacob questioned.

"'Velvet Touch' by the 69 Eyes." Riley couldn't help herself--she upped the volume. "The autumn came and took you away/I never expected you to stay/Black tears falling in the cold rain/I woke up one night to the darkest dream/Your pretty ghost whispering to me/Just one drop and I'll give you...Eternity!

"I'm lookin' at you/I'm lookin' for love/Never get enough when push comes to shove/I'm lookin' at you/I'm lookin' for love/Never get enough when push comes to shove.

"Try to look at me/Tell me what you see/Let fantasy become reality/When the night is calling, pretty baby screams/I buried my heart into the deepest seas/When the blood runs cold, I feel hot in the heat/The red moon rising/Over you and me!

"I'm lookin' at you/I'm lookin' for love/Never get enough when push comes to shove/I'm lookin' at you/I'm lookin' for love/Never get enough when push comes to shove/When push comes to shove/When push comes to shove.

"I never believed we would meet again/Though it ain't over 'til the very end/Give me velvet touch/Give me a kiss/K-Kiss the dead/I'm lookin' at you/I'm lookin' for love/Never get enough when push comes to shove."

"They sound like Type O Negative," Jacob said. "All dark and moody."

"I know!" Riley snickered. "Mom finds Type O dreadfully depressing. She hated their cover of 'Summer Breeze.'"

"Tell me something else about your parents."

"Why? Are you nervous about meeting them?"

"No. But I would appreciate the chance to not go in totally unarmed with information."

"That's fair." Riley lowered the volume of the stereo until it could barely be heard. "Hmm...let's see. Mom's favorite band is the Beatles. She also loves Queen, Badfinger, and Led Zeppelin. My dad really likes Lynyrd Skynyrd, Jethro Tull, the Allman Brothers Band, Ted Nugent, etc."

"Which explains why you, as their daughter, fell head-over-heels for Avenged Sevenfold."

"Exactly."

"Go on."

Riley shifted into a more comfortable position and began recounting stories about her parents and her childhood.

**********

Riley and Jacob had a great time with Riley's parents. Jacob and Mrs. Winters got along like a house on fire. Mr. Winters couldn't seem to find anything about Jacob of which to disapprove, which was rare. Riley knew that both of her parents were surprised at her sudden appearance in Alabama and even more surprised that she had shown up with Jacob instead of Cori or Andy. Neither of them said anything, though. Riley would have to explain eventually, but for now she was content to leave it alone.

Mrs. Winters invited them to stay for dinner. Jacob initially refused, explaining that he was a vegetarian and he didn't want to alter whatever their plans for dinner had been. But Mrs. Winters assured him it would be no trouble.

Riley liked watching Jacob with her parents, especially her mom. He was so sweet and patient. He was almost the perfect companion for her mom because he was so quiet and Mrs. Winters was so talkative. Jacob remained in the kitchen with Mrs. Winters while she fixed dinner. Riley went into the living room and had a beer with her dad.

After dinner, Riley and Jacob had no choice but to leave. Their flight to L.A. was early the next morning. Mrs. Winters pulled Riley aside as they were saying their goodbyes.

"Is everything okay with Andy?" she inquired, her green eyes full of concern.

"I don't know," Riley admitted. "Everything has been going wrong lately. We're going to work on it whenever he can get home for a couple of days."

There was so much Mrs. Winters wanted to say. She settled for "Call me if you need me."

"I will."

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Mom."

Riley hugged her mom and dad. Jacob waved and the two of them walked to his car.

"Your mom is awesome," Jacob said.

"I know."

"Don't answer if this is too personal, but...Do your parents like Andy?"

"To be honest, they don't have much of an opinion on him. They've only met him twice."

"Oh."

"It's been hard to find the time for him to come to Alabama, and even harder to get them out to California."

"That's understandable."

Riley looked over at Jacob. "Why'd you ask?"

"They didn't seem shocked or, like, offended that you showed up with me," Jacob replied. "If they adored your boyfriend, I figure there would have been some kind of reaction to me."

"My parents aren't like that. They'd never let you know what they're thinking. Besides, I'm allowed to have other friends. I'm not attached to Andy at the hip."

"I didn't mean anything by it, Riley."

Riley frowned, ashamed of herself for snapping at Jacob. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

"I'm really scared, Jacob. This talk with Andy...It's going to decide everything. Our future. Whether or not we have a future."

"I know it's frightening, but you can't ignore the issues anymore. Both of you have been trying to pretend it's not happening and it's only gotten worse because of that."

"Just like you said it would."

"Y'all can still fix this, Riley. It's not too late."

Riley sighed. "I'm not sure we can. How am I supposed to forgive him for not trusting me, for just assuming I was being unfaithful without ever talking to me about it?"

"The same way he's going to forgive you for having doubts about the relationship and not talking to him about it."

"There's no comparison. He lost every ounce of trust he had in me--"

"And you were almost convinced you didn't even want to be with him any longer," Jacob cut in. He reached over for her hand. "This isn't about whose, um, crime was worse. It's about figuring out how to get past what both of you did and making the relationship work."

Riley didn't immediately respond. Her lips had curved into a smile the instant Jacob's fingers had linked with hers. She liked the feeling of him holding her hand.

That's probably not a good thing, she thought, attempting to ignore the fact that her pulse had increased with his touch.

Riley had been so relaxed with Jacob for the last two days. Once the initial tension that stemmed from their talk in L.A. had dissolved, everything had been perfect. He was easy to be around, kind and considerate and smart and funny.

And soothing, she added. There was something calming about simply being in Jacob's presence.

It had been a while since she'd been this peaceful and content with Andy. She wanted to attribute this to all of the recent stress: the tour, her class reunion, her doubts, Andy's suspicions, etc. However, if she was really honest with herself, some of the dissatisfaction had started prior to the beginning of the tour. Overall, she and Andy had been blissfully happy, but there had been little things, things that had been brushed aside and shouldn't have been.

"If you don't bring everything out into the open, it's going to come back to bite you later," Jacob had said during that last conversation at the studio. "You can pretend it's not there and for now, it might seem that y'all are fine and everything is back to normal. But the doubts and the issues will still be there and the next time y'all fight, they'll come up again. Y'all will be fighting about the new problems and the old ones."

That's what she and Andy were doing now. There had been small, seemingly unimportant things that they had ignored and now, they were fighting about these new problems as well as those that they'd swept under the rug and out of sight. The reason they had never had many arguments was because they were both so good at pretending that everything was fine.

We always close our eyes to what we don't want to see, Riley realized. Things have been crumbling for a while and we chose to act like it wasn't happening. It took these big problems that we couldn't ignore to bring it all into the light.

"Riley?" Jacob's voice broke into her musings. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. At least, I will be."

Jacob gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Good."