Can't Fight This Feeling

They set to work quickly, not wanting to waste a second. Sam and Dean still needed to head out to find the werewolf before it was too late and they needed to wait another month.

When they pulled up in front of the house Nyx decided to take control of the situation, “Right we need to split up when we get in there. We need to find her body, if it’s in there. If not we need to find out where it is.” she needed to do this. She needed to be the one to find the body and salt and burn it. To prove to her and the boys that she could still do this, that she wasn’t a waste of space.

“We should be looking for hidden rooms or loose panelling; if she’s here she isn’t in plain sight.” Sam added.

Dean nodded before grabbing his gun, and entering the house. As they entered they all went their separate ways. Sam headed out to the back of the house; maybe there was something in the garden. He was slightly jealous that Dean had been able to make a difference in Nyx that he hadn’t, but as he reminded himself, he hadn’t even tried.

As a child he’d had a crush on Nyx. He knew she hadn’t felt the same, but it didn’t stop it and now she was back, and he wasn’t sure that those feelings were gone. Sure he loved Jessica, with all of his heart. No one could ever replace her; but Nyx had been his first crush. He was sure it was just because he’d never really resolved his feelings for her when he was younger, not that he actually still had feelings for her. She was beautiful, he couldn’t deny that, but he knew that feeling anything for her would be a futile effort.

She was broken, that much he could tell. Something had destroyed her. She used to be feisty and sarcastic with a sharp tongue. She’d never have admitted Dean was right about something, even if he was. He knew he couldn’t be the one to fix her though, he was too broken himself to try and fix anyone else.

While Sam was searching the garden, Dean was searching the upstairs of the house. He’d been searching for about 5 minutes when his mind began to wander. What was wrong with Nyx? He wasn’t used to her giving in to him so quickly. Her spirit was gone, and Dean wasn’t sure why. What had caused her to be like this?

He’d noticed the way Sam was looking at her as well. He’d known that he had a crush on her as a kid, so it wasn’t a shock to him to see the look in his eyes. Yet, somehow, it made him feel something, he wasn't sure what it made him feel seeing that look in Sams eyes, but it made him feel something, and he didn't like it. He knew Sam well enough to know Sam wouldn’t do anything about it though. He would feel guilty about Jessica, it was too soon.

Dean was still mad at Nyx, he didn’t want to be, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t bring himself to forgive her, but he didn’t understand why, Sam had said similar things many times. It hurt more hearing it from Nyx somehow.

He was about to enter the next room when he heard a scream from downstairs. He sprinted as fast as he could to find Nyx, when he arrived Sam was already there, shooting at the ghost. Nyx’s gun had been flung across the room, and she was lying unconscious next to the wall. Dean rushed to her side, and tried to shake her awake to no avail.

“Sam we need to get her out of here!” Dean’s voice boomed as Sam continued to shoot at Annabel’s ghost. Every time she disappeared she reappeared seconds later. This time she reappeared across the room and flung Sam at the wall; hard. Dean grabbed his gun to fire at her, but she flung it across the room. Dean scrambled for the gun but she knocked him back, pinning him to the wall.

Nyx could feel herself coming around, she knew something wasn’t right. Carefully she reached into the back of her trousers for her gun, once she had hold of it she pulled it round quickly and shot at Annabel’s ghost causing her to immediately disappear and Sam and Dean to be released.

She looked around the room for any sign of Annabel’s ghost, but she was nowhere to be seen, “How did you do that? Bullets don’t work on ghosts.” Dean questioned as he rubbed the back of his head.

Without turning to face him she answered, “Iron bullets, I have them specially made. She’s in this room somewhere Dean; her body must be in here.” she began to scour the room for a possible hiding place, “Does this place have a basement?” she stared intently at the floor.

“No, why? Nyx are you okay?” he asked as he noticed a small amount of blood dripping down her face.

“This floor if hollow, and I’m fine. Can we just hurry up? I want to get out of here as quickly as possible.” she walked over to the edge of the rug and pulled it back to reveal a trap door, “Ding ding ding, we have a winner!” she announced as she opened the hatch. A putrid smell hit her as the air wafted out. She recognised the smell of a decaying body. She felt herself gag as she lowered herself down, Dean and Sam following quickly behind her.

She shone her flash light around the room. It had a small bed in the corner of the room; her body was lying broken on it, “We need to work fast.” Nyx demanded as she pulled salt and lighter fluid from her bag.

“We know that. This isn’t our first time on the job; we know what we’re doing. Unlike some.” Dean muttered the last part under his breath. Nyx bit her tongue, she wanted to come back with something snappy and sarcastic, but she couldn’t find it in her. So instead she rolled her eyes and began to salt the bones.

She should have known this was going too well because just as she was about to light the bones on fire; the ghost appeared knocking her across the room into a small chest of draws. Dean tried to light the bones, but Annabel had him and Sam pinned before he had a chance. This time Annabel seemed to have wised up, pinning Nyx to the floor as well.

“Why is she so powerful?” Sam gasped.

Nyx tried to struggle against her grip in a futile attempt to reach her gun. As much as she tried she couldn’t fight against Annabel. She looked across to where Sam and Dean were to notice Dean had managed to get hold of his lighter. He was trying desperately to light it as she approached Nyx.

She was inches from Nyx when he managed to light it; throwing the lighter he set fire to the body. Instantly Annabel began to burst into flames and her hold on them.

“Has she gone?” Nyx asked as she stood up and brushed herself off.

They all stared around the room, “I think so.” Dean answered uncertainly.

“Thank God.” she breathed, “Can we leave now?” With that they all exited the small basement room.

“I could have lived without this.” Sam said as they left the house and climbed into the impala. Everyone nodded in agreement. Annabel wasn’t the worst ghost Nyx had encountered, but this was probably the worst case she had worked.

“Why did she only attack women though?” Sam questioned after a few moments of driving in silence.

Nyx paused for a moment in thought, “I think it was because her mother abused her, it wouldn’t surprise me if her mother was the one who killed her. Women had only ever caused her pain; it wouldn’t shock me if her sister abused her as well.” Sam and Dean silently agreed. How a parent could do that to their child was beyond them.

“So what now?” Sam finally asked. He didn’t really want the answer, he already knew what it was.

Nyx sighed, she didn’t want to leave Sam, but she couldn’t stay either. “I have another case somewhere in Texas, a ghoul I think. I’m heading down there. What about you guys?”

“We’re heading out to Connecticut for a werewolf. I didn’t mean that though, I meant what’s going to happen between us. Are things going to go back to how they’ve been for the past 10 years, or are we talking again?” he didn’t want to think about her answer. He’d enjoyed having her back in his life, and even if Dean didn’t want to admit it, he did too.

“Sam…” she sighed, she didn’t want to disappoint him, “I’m not the same person I was ten years ago, I don’t think we can be friends. I think it’s for the best if we aren’t friends. I’ll only be a phone call away if you need me but…”

“Bullshit.” Dean muttered. Nyx stared at him wide eyed.

“What?”

“Stop making up pathetic excuses. This is just you running away, this has nothing to do with you changing. Whatever it is you’re running from, stop.” They had just pulled up outside of the motel, Nyx contemplated getting out and storming off, but she knew Sam would just run after her.

Sam hesitated before speaking, “I agree Nyx. Whatever it is you’re running from you can’t keep it up.”

“I don’t have time for this. It’s been good seeing you guys again, but I need to go.” With that she got out the car and made her way into her motel room. She made sure the door was firmly shut and locked before letting the tears fall. They were right she was running from something, but she couldn’t stop. She could never stop. She stopped running once before, and that was why she was in this mess. She couldn’t go through it again.

She quickly packed her bag, triple checking the room to make sure there was nothing left behind. No matter how small. The boys had taught her that. With one last check she shut the door only to be met by a sour faced Dean.

“You still running?” he asked.

“Yes.” she replied without hesitation.

“Why?”

“Is it really any of your business?” she snapped as she shut the trunk of her car.

“Yes.”

“No. It stopped being your business when you shut me out of your life.” she glared at him. He was stood in front of her door, refusing to move.

“You shouldn’t have said what you said. I never shut you out, you never tried.”

“I’m sorry okay? I’m really sorry, but I was angry. I was angry at my dad, and I just didn’t want to be the only one.” she felt the tears prick her eyes again. Before the accident she never cried, but ever since even the smallest things had set her off.

“What are you on about?” Dean scoffed.

“I had a terrible dad. He shifted me around from place to place. Teaching me nothing but hunting. He didn’t love me, I just reminded him of mom. He didn’t want me there, and I hated my life. I had a bad dad, and I didn’t want to admit it. So I projected it onto your dad okay? Sure John wasn’t the best dad, and I hated the way you blindly followed him, and did whatever he said, but he loved you. He did the best he could with you, and I was jealous. I was jealous and angry.” she blurted through her sobs.

“That doesn’t even make sense!” Dean growled, “You thought by calling my dad a bad father it would make your dad a better one?”

“No! I was just fed up of you and Sam hero worshipping our dads. I wanted you to realise they weren’t so great! I can’t believe you didn’t speak to me for ten years because of that! Why?”

“You insulted my dad! What was I supposed to do?”

“Talk to me!” she was exasperated, she needed to leave. “I’m going Dean. It was nice seeing you again. Goodbye.” With that she shoved him out of the way and clambered into the car.

“Nyx stop this! We need to talk, Sam needs you!” Desperation was clear on Dean’s face.

“You had 10 years to talk. You didn’t. Tell Sam goodbye.” With that she drove off, leaving Dean stood on the car park. She didn’t know if she’d ever see him again, and this time it hurt more than the first time.