All The Small Things

(Chapter Five)

Tessa’s POV:

Pacing the floor of her room, Tessa tried to keep herself calm as she played with the end of her shirt as she continued to wait. Her computer was on and waiting on her bed as she went back and forth imagine that she was making a trail in the carpet as she bit her lip. She was in a pair of shorts and one of Matt’s shirts. It still had his scent on it and it was really the only comfort right then. She was in full on panic mode, scared out of her mind. And it wasn’t helping that Matt was late to their so called impromptu Skype date Tessa had called for earlier that morning.

She knew he was busy, but she needed to talk to him. It was important and she was freaking out. No one knew. Not even Kate or her mom and she needed to tell someone. She needed to hear someone tell her that everything was going to be ok and that there was nothing to be scared of.

Tessa wished that Matt was here in person so she could tell him. But if she waited until then, it might be a disaster waiting to happen. She had been trying to figure out the best way to tell him since the day before. Going through every possible way. But the only way that seemed best was face to face. Well, not exactly, but this was the best way that could be arranged since he was nearly all the way across the country by now. And she couldn’t exactly ask him to come home. That would be horrible. And besides, he was stressed enough; if he came home all he would do was worry if Colussy and everyone were managing without him.

This was the only way that would be best right now and she had to keep telling herself that as her mind came up with every possible reaction he would have once she told him. And none of them were good. She could imagine his face, turning from shock to anger, or sadness or worry. And the only person who could stop these thoughts and calm her down was now five minutes late.

Music was playing quietly from her laptop, trying to calm her down as she continued to pace. But it wasn’t working this time. There really was nothing to settle her thoughts until she talked to him and told him and found out what his real reaction would be. Sure it was a possibility that it would turn out like her mind was coming up with. But it could turn out entirely different too. But she wouldn’t know until her annoying fiancé logged on and called her.

Ok, so yelling at him and being mad at him wasn’t going to get him on any faster. He was probably caught doing something. God knows Vinny hasn’t been any help reducing his stress level lately. Her brother had been one of the biggest pains to Matt this week and she knew he probably wasn’t any better now.

Matt always had to go over every detail of everything over and over again to make sure it was perfect even though it already was. That was one of the things Tessa loved about him, but sometimes it could really stress him out. She just hoped that things would get a little easier on him now that they were a little over two weeks in the tour. Especially with the bomb she had to drop in the next few minutes whenever said man ever got on the computer.

The dogs were sleeping soundly on their bed, being no help whatsoever as she finally stopped pacing. Looking around the room for something to distract her, she found Matt’s old acoustic guitar on its stand in the corner of the room and opted to see if that helped. Grabbing it and then sitting on the bed, she strummed a few notes, smiling at the familiar memories that flooded her mind.

Her dad had been the one to teach her how to play. He had been a great musician and taught her everything she knew. Tessa had picked up on the instrument easily and after a while, her dad and her would play together, making up new songs or playing some of their favorites together. He had been gone nearly ten years now and she missed him, maybe even more whenever she play guitar.

Every time she played, no matter what song, or what was going on, she could always imagine her dad right across from her, with his signature smile as he played along with her, challenging her to play the hard notes in the song and his grin getting bigger when she accomplished them. Even if she didn’t, he still smiled in praise that she tried and she wondered if he was still here, how many more great or silly songs they would come up with.

She still had the notebook that they had shared, scribbling down ideas and lyrics inside and hadn’t written in it since he had died since it didn’t feel the same. She just couldn’t bring herself to do it since he wouldn’t be sitting next to her giving ideas or critiques to what she had written down. Or wouldn’t snatch the book away and scribble things inside making sure she wouldn’t see until he was finished and handing it back with a silly smile as she read through what he had written.

She wished more than ever, that he was there with her now. He would know exactly what to say and calm her down, much like Matt usually was able to also. She was kind of sad that he had died before they had become friends with Matt. She knew that her dad would have loved him and would have been happy to see them together.

After he had died, Vinny had taken over the role of dad and protector. When he had died, Tessa had been 14, Vinny only 16, and little Kate 9. Even at that young age, Vinny had stepped up to help his mom and sisters get through the pain and made sure to always be there for them. He was the best big brother a girl could ask for and always felt comfortable coming to him with anything.

Anything but what was currently going on. She knew that she needed to tell Matt first before she said anything to her family. Even if she wanted to. She wished that she could just tell Vinny, to get some advice, to help her decide which the best way to tell Matt was and how he would react. But she couldn’t. She was on her own with this one.

Finally, her computer made a noise, pulling her from her thoughts. She set the guitar down and pulled the computer onto her lap and took a deep breath as she saw she was getting a Skype call. Pressing accept, she smiled as she saw Matt’s face come onto the screen and saw his face instantly light up too when he saw her.

“Hey babe,” he gave another smile but she could see through it.

With just one look she could tell that he was stressed beyond belief and looked like he hadn’t had proper sleep in a while. Then she began wondering if it was best to tell him then. He was already stressed and this would just add to it. Maybe she should just wait another week or so until he was less stressed and wasn’t as worried. This was just going to add to things and it might make things worse.

But then she decided against it quickly as she replied back and gave another smile as he told her how much he missed her.

“Hey are you ok Tess?” Matt asked, pulling her from her thoughts. She smiled as best as she could to hide she was actually freaking out inside.

Her palms were sweating and she was trying to keep herself from shaking as she nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. Just a little bit on my mind. How’s tour?”

Was it bad that she was stalling this a little? Maybe, but she wasn’t ready to tell him just yet. Let them have a little useless chat before she dropped the bomb.

“It’s fine, we’re finally getting things under control and everything’s going better than it was.” Well at least he wasn’t as stressed as he had been before. Maybe it would be ok to tell him now. “Are you sure you’re ok babe, you looked a little distracted. Is everything ok? Are you still sick?”

“I’m fine Matt, I swear. There’s just something I need to tell you.” She replied, taking a breath.

His brows knit together, “ok, what’s up?”

Ok, here it goes. Now or never. She needed to get this out or it was going to eat her alive.

“Wait,” he said just as she was about to tell him. “You’re not breaking up with me are you?”

She actually laughed at that. “Of course not Matt! I wouldn’t ever break up with you. I love you too much to ever let you go.” The grin on his face was huge as he instantly said it back.

What she said was true, but he might not once she told him. He watched her, waiting for her to continue and she took another breath knowing she was just going to have to say it.

“I’m pregnant,”