Why Do You All Hate Me?

5 YEARS LATER – Karissa

(Her mom works 2 jobs and isn't home for long)

I came down stairs and was greeted my none other than Brian fucking Haner who practically lived here. “Beat it bitch.” He shoved past me, sending me into the wall harshly. My shoulder ached but I just rolled my eyes and headed to the kitchen in my PJ's.

I made a PB and J for breakfast and sat at the table eating it.

“You fucking cow, that's the last thing you need!” Jimmy glared, entering the kitchen and grabbing something from the fridge.

When he left I frowned and put my half eaten sandwich in the trash. I lifted my top a bit to look at my stomach, my ribs stuck out a bit and my stomach was very flat and littered with scars and bruises that you had to be up close to see. I'm not a self harmer, no, these are from my brothers friends over the years. From the instant they met me, they've been total dicks; Calling me names, spilling junk on me, shoving me into walls, yanking me around because they could. And Matt does nothing, not one move to help me. It hurts but...that's life.

My life anyway.

I went up stairs to my room to see Brian going threw my dresser. “What the hell?!”

He whipped around, nostrils flaring. He stalked towards me, I stepped back. “Where is it?”

“Where's what?”

“Don't. Play dumb with me.” He cornered me, towering over my 5'3 frame.

“I'm not playing, I don't know what you're talking about.” My heart sped up in fear, knowing this can't end well.

Suddenly his hand shot out and closed around my forearm, I flinched at the pain. He squeezed tighter, making me get light headed.

“Where. Is. It.”

“What?”

“My fucking box of Trojans! I know you took e'm you little whore.” He yelled in my face.

“No I-” “This isn't fucking over.”

He let go and stormed out. I bit my lip as blood rushed back into my arm, a bruise forming in the shape of his hand. Tears pricked at my eyes as my arm throbbed, you'd think I'd of gotten used to this.

I don't have his fucking condoms and I'm a virgin! Why do they hate me so much? If one thing goes wrong, I'm blamed.

I showered and got dressed, putting on a hoodie to cover my hand shaped bruise. I did my make up and headed down the stairs, ready for my day of torment.

Johnny shoved me out of the way to get to the kitchen and Brian gave me a death glare from the couch. I frowned and kept walking until Jimmy stood in front of me. “Taking his condoms? Really? That low even for you.” He shoved my shoulders, his hand hitting my bruise making me hiss in pain. He seemed to notice but ignored it.

I frowned more and sat in a chair across the room from Brian, I looked at the TV that showed the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame.

Matt came in the room. “Brian I found your condoms, you left them in the bathroom.” he tossed the box to his friend who's eyes widened and flashed to me for a moment before thanking my brother.

I curled into a ball, despite the pain in my upper arm.

Brian snorted and walked past me “Quit being so god damn emo.”

Johnny walked up to me. “Why are you in my chair?” I sat up.

“It's my house, this is not your chair.” I challenged.

“It 's now.”

He grabbed me by my hair and yanked me to the floor, landing my my hands and knees. He sat in the chair and kicked his legs up on my back before I could get up.

I looked up to see Matt with no expression on his face, he left the room. Every time he does that, my heart breaks a little more. Does he even care?

Johnny thudded his heels into my back, making me fall on my stomach. “Get off.” I hissed.

“No.” He dug his heels harder into my back. I tried to move but couldn't, he was to strong.

I whimpered in pain, “Stop.”

“You're so pathetic!” He kicked me one final time before letting me slowly stand, using the table for support.

“Get me a fucking beer. Tell you're mom and you'll regret it.” He sneered.

I nodded and left the room, I went to the kitchen and pulled a beer out of the fridge. When I closed the door Zack was there, he took a picture of me. “Sneaking a beer huh? What's your mom gonna say?”

“It's not for me.”

“She doesn't know that. Besides, who will she believe?” He's right, she never takes my side. She honestly thinks all Matt's friends are looking out for me when in fact, their the ones that hurt me. I frowned and left the room hearing him chuckle darkly.

I handed Johnny his beer that he took without sparing me a glance, his eyes glued to the naked women on the TV.

I left the room, not wanting to be around when he watches porn. I went to my room and was grabbed my my shirt and yanked in, the door being slammed behind me. I looked fearfully up at Brian as he scrutinized me. I stood frozen, expecting the worst. I yelped when he yanked down the side of my hoodie, revealing the hand shaped bruise that had formed there.

Shock flashed in his eyes before he shoved me into the wall. “Man up.” He left the room.

I took a deep breath and pulled up my hoodie, sitting on my bed and grabbing my cello. Yeah a play the cello, problem? I also play the piano a bit. Their my escape, no more Jimmy, no more Zack, no more Johnny and no more Brian. Just me, my thoughts and my music.

I put my ipod on my ihome and selected my 'cello' play list. I'd edited a few Apocalyptica songs and took out the lead and voice, so I could play along.

It started with Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, I closed my eyes and concentrated on the melodic sound I was making.

I kept my eyes closed as it began Master Of Puppets. What? I'm a Metallica buff, big deal.

I played along, visualizing being in a calm plain white room. The music filled my ears and heart. My back quit hurting as did my arm. Music always made me feel better be it emotional or physical pain. I herd foot steps flee down the hall but I ignored them, probably Jimmy writing on my bedroom door again.

I turned off my ipod and set my black cello on its rack feeling complete for the first time in a while. I missed playing, its the one thing that makes me happy.

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I headed down stairs, skipping past Zack and Brian coming out of Matt's room. They gave me weird look as I went down the stairs still smiling.

It was lunch time so I strode into the kitchen and shoved a twinkie in my mouth, ignoring Jimmy's snicker. I chewed and swallowed it feeling pretty bad ass to be honest. I pushed him a little as I passed, he seemed shocked and appalled.

My good mood would me killed soon though, for one reason or another.

“Karissa we're going swimming, get changed.” Matt said, passing me.

Fuck. I don't like pools, because I can't swim. I'm terrified, and have been since I was 11 and Johnny shoved me into the pool, got me out and slapped me until I promised not to tell Matt.

And I never did tell him, he know's I can't swim anyway. I do, however, like to sometimes walk around the wall in the shallow end. I went to my room, I closed and locked the door and went to my closet to pick out a swim suit that covered my back, didn't stick to my ribs or show my forearm.

Well that knocked out every one of them.

I picked a striped one piece and out it on, putting a loose shirt and some shorts over it. I put on my slides and put my hair in a high pony tail. I put on my Aviators and left my room, headed down stairs where Zack grudgingly stood in his swim trunks.

“Took you long enough. Matt told me to wait for you or go home, you little bitch.” He grabbed my pony tail and towed me out of the house into the back yard where Jimmy and Brian were already in the pool. Matt jumped off the diving board, and did a cannon ball. I flinched as flying water sprinkled over me, Zack let go of my hair and dove into the pool.

I spread my towel out on the ground and sat on it, knowing Brian and Johnny would take the lawn chairs. I looked at the pool, ignoring the sun that reflected in it, the pool itself was 16 feet wide and 32 feet long, it ranged from 4 feet to 10 feet deep. So there was a shallow side, and a deep side. I always stayed a distance away unless in was just Matt and I, so pretty much always.

I had no plans on getting near the pool whatsoever today. As the guys swam I put sun block on the exposed parts of my body, I don't tan I burn.

Matt swam over to the edge of the pool near me “Hey Rissa?”

He only calls me that when he wants something, I looked at him with a raised eye brow.

“Can you get me a beer?”

I shrugged and went over to the cooler, opening it and plunging my hand into the ice. I retrieved the beer bottle and warily made my way over to Matt, crouching near him. He took the bottle, opened it and took a drink, putting the lid on it and handing it back to me.

I set it on the table and returned to my towel. For an hour I watched them all swim, occasionally getting out to get a beer. No one was drunk or anything, so I didn't have to worry about that.

“I gotta go piss.” Matt got out, toweled him self off a bit and headed into the house. I wearily regarded the guys from behind my aviators. If they try something, it'll be now.

I pulled my legs into my chest and wrapped my arms around them, ready to be kicked or pushed to the dirt; but nothing happened.

A shadow came over me, blocking the sun. I looked up to see Brian looking down at me, before moving on to the cooler. I took a deep breath, glad he didn't do anything. When he got back in the pool, I realized how dry my throat was, there are Dr. Peppers at the bottom of the cooler. I stood and slowly headed to the cooler, opening the lid and reaching to the bottom of the ice water. Beer bottles clanked around as my hand grabbed the can. I pulled the soda out and closed the cooler, about to head back to my towel.

“Thanks bitch.” I barely had time to register Jimmy's words as he grabbed the can and shoved me, suddenly water flooded my lungs. I panicked and flailed around, my eyes stung from the chlorine and me being dumb took a big breath in an attempt to get air. I scrambled around, hitting the bottom of the 10 foot end.

3rd Person:

“Where's Karissa?” Matt asked, coming out of the house.

“She went for a swim.” Jimmy smirked.

Matt made a face, thinking they were playing with him “No way, she can't swim.”

Jimmy's smirk dropped at once, they all looked in the pool to see her flailing slow and stop.

“Fuck!” Matt dove in and went to the bottom, collecting his sister and dragging her up to the surface. Zack took her from him and pulled her small body away from the pool.

Johnny dropped to her side and opened her mouth, putting his cheek near it. “Not breathing.” He said, for the first time, concerned with her.

Matt shoved him away and slapped at her face “Breathe! Come on!”

“Move.” Brian commanded, his tone serous. Matt moved and let Brian place his mouth on Karissa's, and give her mouth to mouth. She opened her blood shot eyes and coughed violently, Brian jumping away a moment before. Water flew to the ground from her lungs, her throat burned and she felt weak.

Karissa
My nose and throat were on fire, my coughing making it worse. My eyes felt dry and scratchy, my entire body felt heavy. My wet clothes clung to me, making them form fitting. I was lightheaded and it was hard to breathe. I rolled over and got shakily to my hands in knees, coughing and spitting water.

I could faintly hear yelling, it sounded like it was in a bubble.

“You know she can't swim!” Matt roared.

“We thought she got over that!” Johnny protested.

“Did I say she did?”

They were silent.

My arms gave out, and I crashed to the dirt. “Shit!” Matt leapt to my side and helped me sit up, my head flopped back on his bicep.

“Karissa don't you dare.” he said, slapping my face gently but firmly.

My vision blurred and soon, my mind went black.