No Such Thing as Too Young

"Are you fucking stupid Shay?!" Tony screamed at me as I sat in front of him in my backyard. I rolled my eyes, and looked up at him.

He and Jaime came out to talk to us, and it didn't take long for him to figure out I was high. Jaime stopped him from kicking Mike's ass, and he took me back home. Now here we were.

"Like you haven't done this before Tony. You aren't my father" I told him sternly.
He ran his hand over his face, and angrily kicked the chair next to me. "You're right Shaina, I'm not your dad. But I am your boyfriend, and I am sick and tired of watching you destroy your life!" He shouted at me again. I flinched, and began to fiddle with my fingers. His words pissed me off, but more than that. They hurt me. "Destroy my life? Is that how you view everything going on? Good to know babe" I spit out at him, and stood up, shoving past him, and into my house.
"We aren't done talking here Shay!" He yelled, following me, slamming the door shut as he entered my house as well. "Oh yes we are Tony" I told him, walking into my living room, and heading for the stairs up to my room.

He could go fuck off for all I cared at this moment. I didn't need his shit. I was fucking sixteen, almost seventeen years old. I did not need Tony telling me what to do, and how to live my life. He had no fucking idea.

"Will you stop running away from your problems like a child, and sit and talk to me?" He questioned, grabbing my wrist and pointing towards the couch. "I'm the child? Oh you have got to be shitting me. You are the one yelling, and throwing a fit the whole neighborhood can probably hear. I got high with Mike, get the fuck over it!" I screamed back at him. His face filled with rage. "Yes you are the child Shay! You are sixteen! And it is a big deal that you got high with Mike! Maybe you should face things for once, instead of using some form of destruction to ignore what is really going on!" He fumed. I tore away from him, and walked over to the couch, him hot on my tail. "Grow up Shay and talk about shit." He demanded.

"You want me to talk about things Tony? Fine let's talking about things. Let's talk about how much you look down on me because of my problems. Let's talk about how you don't get it! I just wanted to forget even just for a few hours Tony! You have no idea what it's like to be me, so just stop okay? I don't need a lecture from you." I snapped on him, sinking into the couch. He looked down at me. A mix of anger and hurt spread across his face, and he ran his fingers through his hair messing it up.
"I don't understand?"He asked quietly, obviously frustrated. "No Tony, you don't get it, and you never will okay? You haven't been where I am, so just stop trying. God! You keep trying to fix me, and did you ever think that maybe I can't be fixed? Maybe I am just damaged goods, and I can't do anything to change that?" I asked him, my eyes getting watery. "You aren't damaged goods Shay. Why can't you see that?" he pleaded with me. "Because I just can't! How can you see that!? I can't escape these things. How can I help the problem, when the problem is me? It's in my head" I told him. He simply shook his head, and looked out the window at a lose of what to say to me in reply.
I wiped my eyes to stop the tears threatening to fall.

"I wish you never found out about any of this shit" I mumbled, shaking my head as well. He snapped his head over to me. "You would be in far deeper than you are now. There would be nothing stopping you." He whispered. "There is nothing stopping me now" I told him, looking into his dark eyes. "Glad I know that now." He looked away from me and began to walk toward the window. He stopped in his tracks and looked back at me again. "You do realize in some round a bout way we are together because I found out right?" He asked me seriously, searching my eyes for an answer as if he could read my mind. "Maybe things would be better off had we never gotten together as well" I whispered looking down at my hands.
He groaned loudly, and walked back over. "Fucking hell Shay! Do you honestly think that would be best?!" He yelled, causing me to look up at him. "I don't know Tony! All I know is none of this has gotten any easier. I just! Ugh. I want to get better but you don't get it! Why can't you see that I'm not better! You just live in this little bubble where you don't notice that I'm slipping and don't know where to look for help." I argued with him, anger rising up in me. "Fine! Fuck it. I give up. You're right I don't understand, and I'm tired of trying. Maybe you can run to Vic again or something. Because frankly I am sick of being your fucking punching bag. I do nothing but try and help you. I love you, and I'm here, trying over and over again but all you do is knock me down. I'm done. Have things your way Shay" He told me, shrugging, and heading for the door.

Hot tears slid down my face faster than I thought possible. A sob escaped my lips, I heaved searching for air. The front door bust open, but shut quietly.
"What is going on here?" My mom asked walking in with grocery bags, and her work stuff. I jumped up from the couch, and ran up to my room ignoring her calls after me.
Tony gave up on me. He was the one person who was never suppose to give up on me, and I forced him to leave. I did this, I deserved to feel this way. I drew the blinds, and laid on my bed letting the tears and sobs come out freely.

I deserved this.