I'll Be Okay

“This is my flat, right across the hall is Dougie’s, and Harry’s is right beside me, and then Tom’s across from him beside Dougie.” Danny instructed, pointing to each door that held the specific band member. He brought me to his apartment complex; its two stories but only one floor led to all four of the rooms. Once we stepped inside his apartment, he led me through to his bedroom, spare room, bathroom, living room, and kitchen before pointing to a door on the back wall. Apparently it was to a set of stairs that leads to a studio above all four apartments. Raising my eyebrows, I took a seat at the kitchen table. Maybe they are rich. “It’s much easier that the four of us live in the same place so we can get to the recording studio faster.” Danny explained and I just nodded my head.

“So the four of you are… in a band, right?” I asked, leaning my arms on the kitchen table. Danny nodded his head, taking the vacant seat beside me. With a soft sigh, I ran my hand through my hair and looked around my surroundings. His apartment was fairly clean and everything was placed perfectly throughout the rooms. With a raised eyebrow, I turned to Danny. “I don’t take you as the very clean type. What with your tattoos and such.” I nodded and Danny chuckled, shaking his head.

“We just got back from a five month tour a few days ago and I cleaned up before we left. It must shock you that I clean after myself, considering you just judged me because of my ‘tattoos and such’.” He said, raising an eyebrow. He just mocked me. I raising an eyebrow in return.

“I did not judge you.” I scowled, and Danny chuckled once more, shaking his head. “Don’t laugh at me.” I added, causing his to laugh some more. With a sigh, I glared softly at him.

“Lighten up, Lindsey, geez. Smile for once.” He spoke, his expression soft and comfortable. I rolled my eyes, looking down at my arms.

“She doesn’t smile.” I heard a voice behind me, turning to catch my cousin and Harry smiling hand-in-hand. She was giggling at something Harry had said, her voice soft as she spoke toward Danny. He raised an eyebrow and I turned, shrugging my shoulders as he cocked his head to the side.

“At all?” He asked and I shook my head, looking down at my arm. “Why not?” Looking over my arm awkwardly, Harry coughed from his place in the doorway. Jenn was about to speak up when I looked her way, sending her daggers. She bit her lip before looking down at her nails, finding them more interesting. “Lindsey?” Danny said, catching my attention. My head shot toward him and I glared, sitting back in my chair. My eyes lifted to look into his and he looked curious; like he cared.

“Why would you care?” I spat and Jenn coughed awkwardly, muttering quietly that they were going back to Harry’s for a little while. We didn’t break eye contact as the door closed softly behind them. “Seriously. I just want to know why you, the lead guitarist and lead singer in the biggest band in England, cares enough about me, some little girl that is completely fucked up in the head.” There was so much sarcasm in my voice as I crossed my arms across my chest.

“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t I care?” He asked and I scoffed, standing up from the chair and pushing it back under the table.

“Danny, honestly? I’m only 19, I have no job, and I’m a mess. And you, you’re, what, 25? You’re in a very successful band and you have so many people crawling at your feet.” I said, getting slightly irritated. I sighed, running a hand through my messy blond hair. “Just…why did you come after me today?” I whispered, catching him slightly off guard. He cleared his throat, leaning his arms on the table as he gestured to my body.

“Do you want the list?” He asked, and I raised an eyebrow.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I raised my voice slightly, getting offended. Stepping backward, I leaned on the corner counters as he looked up at me. He shook his head, slamming his hand on the table. I jumped slightly, but I didn’t let my guard down as he stood, walking toward me.

“Lindsey. I came after you because I saw you at my mum’s therapist’s office, I talked to you at the club when you told me you’d never be happy, I saw your reaction when Sophie mentioned that girl’s name, and I saw your fucking arms.” He grabbed my left arm, holding them up. I looked down, seeing the scars laced up and down my wrist. “I know you’re hurt and I want to help you-” I ripped my arm out of his grasp, scoffing as I stood up taller.

“I don’t want your help!” I shouted, trying to move around him, but he put his hands on the counter on both sides of me. “Move, please.” I pleaded, my voice growing quiet.

“Just let me help you! Jenn has been telling Harry that you won’t talk to anyone! Talk to me, please.” Danny said, dropping his arms. I shimmied around him, walking to the kitchen table and grabbing my purse. “I know what it’s like to be hurt! I know how it feels to be upset-” I stopped abruptly, turning to face him as I glared.

“You haven’t experience what I have, Danny. You don’t know what’s going on up here,” I pointed toward my head, my eyes growing wide. “I haven’t even told my aunt, my cousin, or your mother my whole story, why would I tell you?” I whispered, my eyes looking deep into his. He looked down before he made his way toward me, grabbing my purse and placing it back on the table.

“My mother knows how to help patients; she’s really good at listening. But I can help you out here. I can show you what it’s like to be happy. Just give me a chance.” He whispered the last sentence and I closed my eyes tight. My mind went in overdrive as I thought, trying to figure out if I should or not.

“I don’t even know you.” I whispered, my eyes staying closed tight. They opened up slowly as I was met with silence and Danny had stepped closer. His arm was raised, his hand placed on my arms as he held them up, looking down at my scarred wrists.

“So? Get to know me. I heard I’m a fun guy-” I cut him off as I raised an eyebrow. He looked up with a chuckle before he went serious again, dropping his eyes back to my wrists. “Why would you do this to yourself?” He whispered and I pulled my arms back, grabbing my purse again.

“Can you drive me to my car, please?” I whispered, making my way toward the door. I stepped outside, bumping slightly into another bloke that looked to be a few years older than me. He grinned before pouncing on Danny as he shut his apartment door, locking it behind him.

“’ello, Doug. This is Lindsey,” Danny introduced us and Dougie grabbed my hand, bending forward as if he were bowing in front of me. I raised an eyebrow.

“Fair lady, nice to meet thy. I am Sir Douglas, great to be acquainted.” He said before he started giggling, walking off toward his apartment. “Later, Dan.” He shouted behind him, closing the door tight. I turned to Danny and he gestured me forward. I followed his lead as we jumped into his black car.

“What about Jenn?” Danny asked and I sighed, pulling out my cell phone to send her a text to get a ride home from Harry. Before a minute went by, she replied with a smiley face, telling me she’s do just that.

“Harry will drop her off.” I muttered, turning in my seat so I could look out the window. He nodded his approval before we made our way back to the coffee shop. The ride was silent and a little awkward, the atmosphere tense between us. I looked down at my wrists, my eyes growing slightly watered as I skimmed over the scars. I ran my fingers over each one. I haven’t cut myself in a few weeks, the temptation never coming as I continuously visited Dr. Jones. She taught me a few ways to distract myself; read, sing, listen to music, draw… My favorite is sing. I love to sing.

“I’m sorry.” I heard from beside me. I turned slightly, running my eyes up until they met his crystal blue eyes. We were already pulled up to the restaurant I had dropped Jenn off at, the coffee shop just across the street. I turned; looking beside me to see my car parked two spots away. I hadn’t even realized we were here yet. “I shouldn’t have asked you that.” He muttered, running his hand through his short curly hair. I nodded slowly, playing with my blond hair.

“I should go,” I whispered, opening the door. I stepped out and sighed, turning toward Danny. But he wasn’t in the front seat anymore, and when I turned around, he was right in front of me, watching me curiously. “I…” I started, biting my lip as I pulled at my nails.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” He asked, and I raised an eyebrow. Looking down at my hands, I cleared my throat.

“Well, I have an, uh, an appointment with your, your mum at 12. Its sixty minutes long.” I whispered, looking up at him with my dark brown eyes. He nodded slowly, reaching behind me to grab my purse from the floor. Stepping back, he held it out to me with a small smile.

“Okay. Is that it?” he asked, and I nodded slowly, not having any plans other than that. “Okay, goodbye, Lindsey.” He smiled before he closed the passenger door, stepping back to the driver’s side. I stuttered, clutching my purse as he waved, pulling out of his spot. I watched him drive off with a raised eyebrow before I walked slowly to my car, getting in the drivers side as I shook my head. That was weird, I thought. Shaking my head again, I reached down into my purse to grab my phone and I noticed a folded up piece of paper. Pulling it out, I read over the messy writing before leaning my head on the back of my seat. He gave me his number. What have I gotten myself into?