Never Told You

Rylan

The door shut and I heard footsteps in the hallway, but I couldn’t move. These butterflies were going so crazy, they were making me feel sick.

“Hey Ry.” Milan said, walking over to me. My back was turned to him, and I didn’t dare turn around. I was too nervous. Then, suddenly, he placed his hands on my shoulders, and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

“Holy shit!” I yelled, holding my hand to my chest, turning to face him, “You scared the shit out me.”

“I thought you heard me come in.” He smirked in amusement at my fright. Asshole.

“I did, but I didn’t expect you to come up behind me like that,” I laughed, and he leaned down to place a sweet kiss to my lips.

“I’m gonna change, I’ll be right back.” Milan said before kissing me again and walking off to our bedroom.

Relax, Rylan. Take a deep breath.

I got up and brought my empty container to the sink in the kitchen, and then walked back into the living room, and resumed my place on the couch.

Milan came out wearing a V-neck, basketball shorts and gray socks. His smile was no longer present on his face and he didn’t even look at me as he came over. My brain made my eyes wander to his pockets to look for any signs of a box, but I didn’t get to see anything before he sat down next to me.

“So about that important thing…” he trailed off, still not looking at me.

“Oh, yeah,” I played it off cool, but my heart was pounding.

“Just…before I tell you this, know that I love you, and nothing will change that.”

“I know,”

This didn’t sound like a proposal.

“Ry, I made a mistake.” He was STILL looking at his hands.

“What happened?” My heart was still pounding, but now in a more worried way.

“I’m so sorry, Rylan.” He finally looked up into my eyes. He was on the verge of tears. Now, I was starting to freak out.

“Milan, what happened?” I repeated, my voice becoming shaky. He sighed and looked back at the ground. “Look at me,” I grabbed his chin and made him face me again, “What did you do?”

“I…” he stood up and started pacing the living room.

“Milan!” I stood up and walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and made him look at me, “What happened?” He took a deep breath, before speaking again, putting his hands on my arms.

“I slept with someone else.”

So this is what it must feel like getting checked by Chara.

I couldn’t breathe. I unwrapped my arms from his neck and took a few steps back.

“What?” I asked. I didn’t want to hear it again, but I wanted to be sure I heard it right.

“Please don’t make me say it again…” he looked away.

“Milan, you don’t get the right to be upset.” I said sternly. His head shot up at my sudden change of tone. His eyes widened in shock at, no doubt, the look on my face. I had gone from sweet and oblivious, to I’m Going To Kill You.

“I’m sorry, Rylan-“

“No. You’re not sorry.” I shook my head, taking another step back.

“Ry-“ he took a step forward, but I took another step back,

“Don’t.” he sighed. “How long?” I asked,

“What?”

“How long have you been fucking her?!” I closed my eyes and yelled.

“Ry-“

“Answer me!” I opened my eyes, and narrowed them at him. He looked down again.

“…When we won the cup, I got way too drunk. We all did!” He admitted, looking back up at me.

“Was that the only time?” I crossed my arms over my chest. He shook his head,

“No.”

The air was gone. I had nothing to keep me breathing. I dropped my arms from my chest and my heart hurt.

“I just….Why, Milan? Why wasn’t I good enough for you? You really threw away 6 years with me? Was I that bad?” I was starting to get angry.

“No, Rylan, that’s not it! I was drunk! I wasn-“ he tried to explain, but I wasn’t in the mood for explanations.

“You were drunk for a year?” I snapped. He looked away again. “So more than once,” I took a deep breath, “How many times?” I couldn’t even look at him.

“I don’t know…”

“That many, huh? You’re a fucking whore, ” I shook my head in disgust, “I at least deserve to know who, Milan. Or was it more than one? I know how un-satisfied you are with one fucking girl.” I spat at him. He looked at me, his eyes full of hurt and un-fallen tears.

“Rylan-“ his voice broke, and I shook my head.

“Answer the goddamn question, Milan.” I crossed my arms again.

“Brittany. Brittany Carnegie.” He sighed.

“Marliegh's college roommate?” I screamed at him and he nodded,

“Yeah,” his voice cracked again, “I am so sorry, Rylan! I never wanted to hurt you!” he reached for me, but I pulled back and took another step away.

“No…NO!” I yelled and he winced, “You don’t get to fucking touch me! You don’t get to fucking be upset, Milan! YOU did this! YOU caused this! I can’t believe you! I can’t even look at you!” I covered my face with my hands, trying to stop tears from falling, trying to compose myself. “I’m done. We’re done.” I dropped my hands, and his head shot up.

“What? No. No, baby, no, please.”

“Don’t ‘baby’ me, Milan. You’ve been ignoring me and snapping at me for MONTHS. You have been so miserable. I’m doing you a favor. You can go live with her, because I am done. I never want to see you again!”

“Rylan, please!” he called after me. I turned on my heel,

“NO! Fuck you, Milan Lucic! You’re a lying piece of shit!” I saw hurt cross over his face, but at that point, I didn’t fucking care. I was so sick and tired of everything, “Y’know,” I chuckled humorously, “It’s funny,” he looked at me confused,

“What?”

“What was it? 6 hours ago? Your baby sister calls because some lying piece of shit ripped her heart out and you told me you’d never cheat on me, but here we are. You lied straight to my face...you’re just like Jason.” I scoffed and started walking away

“I am NOTHING like Jason!” Milan screamed. I spun back around,

“You are EXACTLY like Jason!” I retaliated, “He strung Mar along all that time while he cheated on her. Sounds a lot like what you did!”

“I am nothing like Jason,” he repeated, “I never strung you along, Rylan! I fucking loved you! I still do! I have since I was fucking 18 years old! I made a fucking mistake, okay! I’m not perfect, but guess what, neither are you!”

“Fuck you! I have never cheated-“ I snapped,

“You flirt with everyone on the team! Even the ones with fucking girlfriends. You just can’t help yourself, huh Ry? You know how much it pisses me off when you are all over Marchand. You KNOW how much I hate it, yet you still do it. You don’t think it hurts to see you doing it? You are far from perfect, Rylan!”

“Are you really blaming me for this? You’re un-fucking-believable! Harmless flirting is NOTHING compared to sleeping with someone, Milan! Fucking someone else is cheating! Flirting is flirting, but I NEVER went anywhere with Marchand without you! I know you’re just grabbing at straws here, Milan, because we both know you have no argument, but dragging your teammates into this is just low. Even for you.”

I turned around and walked out the door, slamming it on my way out. Shoes were the last thing on my mind right now.
___________________________

Three hours, I found myself in front of Brad’s apartment building. For one, I had to walk because I left my money at home, two, I got lost, and three, the water works started up again, and I cried for a good hour, while sitting on the curb. I don’t know what brought me here. Maybe it was to spite Milan, or maybe it was because I felt safe going to Brad.

When I finally got up to his apartment, I knocked on his door until he opened it. It took a good five minutes, but it worked. He opened the door while pulling on a t-shirt.

“Rylan, what are you doing here? It’s 1 AM!” he asked, until he saw my tear-stained cheeks and my blood-shot eyes, “Are you crying?” Brad pulled me into his apartment and closed the door behind him. I could tell I woke him up, his voice was raspy and his eyes were squinted, trying to block out the hallway light.

“Milan and I broke up. I didn’t know where else to go.” I admitted, feeling the tears sting the back of my eyes again.

“What happened?” he asked, putting his hands on my arms, pulling me into a hug. I immediately hugged him back enjoying being comforted. I stuffed my face into his chest, and I could hear his heartbeat. It was racing, probably from worry about my appearance.

“He cheated on me.”

“What?!”

“I really don’t wanna talk about it right now,” I shook my head, and pulled out of the hug, “Can I just stay here? At least for tonight.”

“Yeah, of course. You can stay in the guest room.” He nodded, “C’mon.” I was led to the guest bedroom, where he turned on the lights, and I immediately laid down on the full size bed. “Do you want a change of clothes?” Brad asked. I looked down at my Lucic shirt and jeans and nodded.

He left for a moment, and returned with one of his Bruins shirt and a pair of old basketball shorts.

“Thanks, Marshy.” I smiled, taking the clothes and setting them on the bed.

“No problem, Rylan. Get some sleep. We can talk in the morning, okay?” He hugged me I nodded, “Goodnight,” he said before walking to the door,

“Night,” I said and he closed the door.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and quickly changed into the clothes Brad gave me.

When I was done, I went to the bathroom to clean my face and then I went back to the guest room, turned off the light and headed off to sleep.

I’ve had a LONG night.

Marliegh

“Hey Mar! Phone!” my new roommate, Sarah, called into the dorms bathroom. I turned off the shower, wrapped myself in my towel, and grabbed my shower caddy before running carefully over to the door.

“Thanks hon.” I smiled, handing her my shower caddy in place of my phone. She walked off with it without a protest and I smirked. I love having freshman roommates.

“Hello.”

“Mar, it’s Brad.” a familiar voice replied and my heart fluttered.

“Marshy! Hey! What’s up?”

“Milan and Rylan broke up.” I nearly dropped the phone, shocked.

“What? Why? What happened?”

“He cheated on her, Mar. At least that’s what she told me-”

“Can I call you back, Marshy?” I asked, my usually controllable anger starting to boil over, “I’m standing in the middle of a co-ed bathroom in nothing but a towel. Now is not the time to have this conversation.”

I couldn’t resist throwing the towel bit in there, no matter what we’re talking about; it’s still Marshy I’m talking to.

I hung up without another word and started dialing my idiot brother

“Marliegh? Have you heard from Rylan? She dumped-”

“Your sorry, lying cheating ass? I knew there was a reason she was my best friend.” I snapped at him, earning a few odd glances from the other students in the hall.

“Can I help you?” I snapped at them and they all looked away as I stepped into my room, “Sarah honey, why don’t you go get a Starbucks? I’m going to need some privacy.”

“For sure, Mar! Is that Marchand?” she asked and I smiled tightly. My roommate is a puck bunny, not just any puck bunny, a Vancouver based Bruins puck bunny, just like the last one.

“No, it’s my brother.”

“Milan?” she asked with a wide smile and I nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Tell him I say hi!” she beamed enthusiastically, grabbing her purse, “Want your usual while I’m there?” she asked and I smiled, nodding again as she walked out the door.

“Marliegh, come on now. Don’t be like that; I’m your brother-”

“And she’s my best friend, scumbag. I have to love you, we’re family.” I rolled my eyes as I sat down on the end of my bed.

“Marliegh-”

“Who was she?” I asked, not caring what he was about to say.

“Mar-”

“Someone I know.” I mused, “One of the Giants girls?”

“Brittany.”

“MY OLD ROOMMATE!” I screamed, hopping up off the bed, “I fucking knew it! Oh my god, Milan! You fucking dirt bag!”

“Mar-”

“No! Fuck you! I can’t believe you’d do that! To Rylan no less! I thought you loved her, I mean you made me pick up a fucking ring! I swear to God, if it’s for Brittany-”

“Marliegh! I would rather jump off the Port Mann Bridge than marry Brittany Carnegie!” he promised and I calmed down slightly.

“I want to be with Rylan, I just made a mistake. It was after the cup and I was drunk. Everyone makes mistakes, don’t they?” he pleaded and I sighed, he’s got a point.

“So it was just a one night thing? Right Milo?” I asked, using his old nickname and he hesitated.

“Milan?”

“Not exactly…”

“How long were you fucking drunk for, Milan?” I snapped, “Seriously, if it was a drunken mistake and more than one night, I want to know if I need to sign you up for Alcoholics Anonymous.”

“Marliegh-”

“Fuck you, Milan.” I hung up on him, throwing my phone across the room onto my bed. I sighed, sitting back down on the bed and rubbing my hands over my face before grabbing phone, dialing Brad’s number.

“Marliegh?” Brad’s tired voice asked picking up the phone, I glanced over at the clock and cursed myself. It’s 1:30 AM in Boston, he doesn’t want to be talking to me this late after tonight’s loss.

“I can call you back tomorrow, Marshy. I didn’t realize it was so late-”

“No, no! It’s fine, Mar.” He promised and I smiled grimly.

“How is she?” I asked, playing with the hem of my towel.

“Honestly?” he asked and I sighed, that’s never a good sign, “I can hear her crying in my guest room, Mar.”

“Take care of her for me, Marshy?” I asked, kicking myself for not transferring to a college in Boston last semester.

“I promise I will Marliegh, I’m worried about her too.” I am so glad she ran to Marshy, “Speaking of worried, I heard about Jason.”

“Don’t worry about me, Brad. I always bounce back, you know that.”

“That’s what I worry about, I’m not there.” He joked and I smiled, I wish he was here.

“Maybe I’ll come visit soon.” I smirked, shrugging even though we were on the phone.

“Maybe you should.”

“Maybe you should get to bed, Marshy.” I teased as he yawned on the other end.

“I guess I should. I miss you, Marliegh.” There was ruffling on the other end of the line as he climbed into his bed.

“I miss you too, Brad.” I love you.

He hung up and I tossed my phone beside me on the bed.

“So, how’s Milan?” Sarah asked as the dorm room door opened.

“Good, bummed about losing, but good.” I lied, not wanting her to know what was really happening, “So what do I owe you?”

“$5.10 as per.” she shrugged, handing me my Tazo-Chai Latte. I set it down on my night stand and grabbed my wallet, digging out a $5 bill. I glanced inside, looking for a dime when I spotted something I completely forgot about. I pulled it out and held it in my hand as I grabbed a dime and handed it off to Sarah.

“We’re going to the Roxy, want to come?” she asked and I shook my head.

“I’m not feeling too great, I think I’ll sit this one out.” I lied, it’s a little too easy.

“Feel better hon.” She smiled, heading for the door and once it clicked behind her and I threw my wallet on the bed beside my phone and walked over to my desk.

I dropped the Boston Bruins Visa card on the desk beside my laptop. Milan gave me this credit card in case of emergency. If this mess isn’t an emergency, I don’t know what is.