Only Up From Here

The drive back to the ranch was a blur to me. I looked out the window and watched the normal looking homes and the normal looking people pass me by. I started to think, why did this happen? I always had a feeling something would happen to significantly change my life, that was before my brother died. Once he was gone I thought that would be the most devastating thing of my life but now the death of both of my parents? That’s the thing you read in a newspaper; it happens to other families.

I crawled into bed when I got home and I realized my parents weren’t in the next room. Tears ran down my face as again it hit me my life was different once again. I wasn’t going to wake up in the morning and be irritated that my mom was trying to have a conversation with me before I was awake. My dad wouldn’t kiss me goodbye before I left for school. Neither of them would ever tell me that they loved me again. Tears just spilled out and before I knew it I was at a sob. In the distance I heard my phone ding.

Seeing it I picked it up to see a message from a number I didn’t know:

How are you doing? [/i}

Who is this?

Oh sorry it’s Brock. . . I got your number from Sarah, I hope you don’t mind. Sarah was a girl from the class Brock and I shared at school.

Oh hi. I am . . . to be honest? A mess.

Is there anything I can do?

No not really I mean I feel like its hitting me but then again I know I will wake up in the morning and think they are here.

Do you want me to come over in the morning?

No it's OK. I think Kelly would be a little mad. Not to mention I think I just need to spend some time with John, he’s taking this hard.

OK well I’ll text you or call you tomorrow. Is that OK?

Sure.

With that sent I rolled over in bed and tried to let sleep, or exhaustion, take over me. It took some time but before I knew it all I was seeing was darkness.

*************

Waking up the sun was coming through my window and I couldn’t help but smile at the warmth. I had slept horrible for some reason, always dreaming of a crash and my parent’s death.

As I walked out to the hall to use the bathroom and shower I listened for the sound of breakfast. When I heard nothing I went to the kitchen and found that no one was there.

“Mom?” No reply “Dad?” again no reply.

I ran upstairs to my parents room to find the bed made and everything in place. What was going on? I quickly showered and headed out to the barn. “John?”

I found him sitting in the barn on a stool staring at Starlight, my moms’ horse. “John?”

“Hey sweetie, how are you doing this morning?” his eyes were sad and blood shot.

“Where are mom and dad?” Tears filled his eyes and I realized I had not had a dream; it was real. The hospitals eerie lights, the emergency room chaos, the tears, the hurt, the realization, and the people, “So it wasn’t a dream at all?”

John shook his head no and wrapped me into his arms. Together we sat there and stared at both Starlight and Chocolate Rain, we cried a little together and we just comforted each other. It was nice to have someone around to just be with me who knew exactly what I was feeling.

“I have to go make some calls. See if I can get the funeral things going and make arrangements.” He kissed me on the head and stood.

“John what can I do to help?” I had to do something I couldn’t just sit here.

“I’ve had some experience with this sweetheart, I’ll get it all worked out and things on the go. If you really want you can take the horses out for a run.”

“John, please let me help you more then the horses, I’m not ten anymore I can handle this.”

“Kali, please, I don’t want you to have to deal with all of this at one time. You woke up this morning and thought it was all a dream. I woke up this morning and knew it was reality.” He turned and walked away before I could say another word.

As I saddled the horses I realized that what John had said hurt me. I couldn’t deny it though and I think that fact hurt the most. I woke up this morning ready for the day, ready for a cooked breakfast, ready for loving arms to hug me, ready for smiles that told me the people behind them cared for me, and ready for what every other day had brought. What I had least expected was exactly what I got, and now here I was riding my mothers horse through the trails of the land they had once owned wondering what would come next.