Disenchanted

I yawned as I exited the building into the car park at work. It was 3:10 and I really wanted to go home. I pulled out and flashed my parking slip to the parking attendant before driving off. I lived about 25 minutes away from the building, so I usually didn’t get to sleep before 4 am. I turned the air con on in the car so that it helped keep me awake. I was getting close to an intersection and I pleaded with the light to stay green. Unfortunately it turned amber and I had to stop.
“Damn it,” I muttered, as I slowed down.
I hummed along to the music on the radio and waited patiently. There was a bar on the corner that was clearly having some trouble with someone. He was thrashing about and yelling at them, for kicking him out. He looked like a right wanker.
“Serves him right,” I muttered as he lashed out a harsh kick at one of the fellas.
I then noticed the guys laying into him and I frowned. That wasn’t right, even if he was a dick there’s no need to kick the crap out of him. The light turned green and I quickly sped up and pulled over, in front of the bar. I threw myself out of the car and up to the bouncers.

“Hey! Hey! Fucking cut it out!” I yelled.
“This isn’t any of your business miss,” one of them said.
“That’s where you’re fucking wrong!” I growled. “I don’t care what your excuses are, they do not justify kicking the crap out of someone!”
“He put hands on our female waitresses, he was rude, and he has obviously taken something before he got here. He needs a lesson taught, Ma’am,” another said.
“Okay so yes, he fucked up, that does not mean you kick the shit out of him! He’s been kicked out hasn’t he?” I demanded.
“Yes, but we want it to stay in his head that our staff are family, handle them, and you’ve made it personal. Now get out of the way,” the third bouncer growled.
I pushed myself in front of the man and glared at them.
“You’ll have to go through me first,” I defended.
The bouncers all looked at me and for a moment I honestly thought they were going to hit me. They just muttered amongst themselves before evidently deciding it wasn’t worth it.
“If he comes in here again it’ll be worse,” the first bouncer threatened.
I nodded and gulped. I waited for them to go back inside before I turned around.
“Hey, are you al—Gerard?” I asked astonished.

The man I was ‘rescuing’ was Gerard. He had blood dripping from his lips and it looked like his nose was broken.
“Oh fuck, what the fuck do you want?!” he growled at me.
I looked at him hesitantly.
“I think I need to take you to a hospital, your nose is broken!” I exclaimed.
“It’s fucking fine, leave me alone! I need to go back and kick the shit out of those guys!” he yelled.
One of them looked over at me from the entrance and I gave him a nervous smile.
“Gerard, shut up. They nearly fucking killed you. I’m taking you to a goddamn hospital,” I hissed.
He glared at me and I knew something was wrong. His eyes were completely bloodshot and his pupils were so big you almost couldn’t see his irises. There was a slight tremor in his mouth and I honestly thought for a second he was going to hurt me.
“You’re that fucking whore from the party,” he said.
I looked at him confused, did he actually forget who I was? He reached up and ripped my scarf off my neck so he could see his own handiwork.
“I’m fucking good aren’t I,” he smirked.
I glared at him and snatched my scarf back.
“Fuck you,” I snapped.
“Bet you’d fucking love to,” he sneered.
“I don’t want to touch you with a ten-foot pole,” I spat.
“THEN WHY ARE YOU FUCKING HERE AND RUINING EVERYTHING!” he roared at me.
“BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO SEE YOU DIE ON THE SIDE OF A FUCKING ROAD!” I screamed back. “Because I don’t want to have to console everyone who thought you were this great big fucking hero, when all you are is a pathetic, arrogant alcoholic!”
I felt his hands on me and the next thing I knew I was being thrown back against my car. My head thumped painfully on the roof and I groaned.
“You’re a fucking dick,” I growled.
“You’re the fucking bitch with a problem! I’m not a fucking alcoholic! I can stop whenever I fucking want to! I just drink so I can deal with you! YOU MAKE ME DRINK! YOU FUCKING SLUT! You’re the one with the fucking problem! You are fucked up royally! You pretend to be so fucking high and mighty but you are no better than me!” he shouted, in my face.
I felt completely and utterly lost. I had absolutely no clue what he was talking about but I was done. I reached up and grabbed his broken nose hard in my fingers. He let out a shout of pain and I glared down at him.
“Gerard, shut the fuck up. I’m taking you to a hospital. If you say one more word I will get those bouncers to come back and kill you. So sit down in the car and fucking behave,” I snapped, treating him like a child.
I could see tears of pain running down his face and I felt horrible, but it was the only thing I could think of to get him to listen.
“Now give me a thumbs up if you heard and understood me,” I instructed.
He gave me a hasty thumbs up.
“Okay, I’m going to sit you in the backseat, in the passenger side so you don’t decide to randomly choke me while I’m driving,” I explained as I opened the door, my fingers still on his nose.
I moved my arm with him as he stepped in and sat down.
“I’m going to let go now. If you make another sound I will shatter your nose,” I warned him.
He looked at me, hate still in those eyes but stayed silent. I let go of his nose and he stayed silent. I smiled at him.
“Thank you,” I said to him.
I walked around to my side and climbed in. I pulled out and quickly made my way to the nearest hospital.

“Okay Gerard, we’re here now. Now please behave and treat everyone with respect,” I emphasised.
He just glared at me and I sighed before opening the door.
“I fucking hate you,” he grumbled.
“I don’t care,” I said back to him.
I grabbed his hand and he looked at me as if I were diseased. I just scowled at him.
“It’s so you don’t fucking run off, don’t worry,” I snapped.
I hated how much he made me swear, but he was the kind of person who made it necessary. He rolled his eyes and I dragged him along.

We entered the Emergency room and went up to the desk. The girl behind the desk looked tired and run down. I sympathised.
“Hi, how can I help you?” she asked, trying to put on a friendly face.
“She’s wasting your fucking time, I’m fucking fine,” Gerard snapped.
I gave her a sincere smile.
“Hi, my friend needs his nose set. It’s broken,” I answered her cheerfully, ignoring Gerard.
I felt him try to tug out of my hand but I tightened my grip like I was going into labour.
“Ow! Fuck! Stop being a bitch!” he snarled at me.
I ignored him as the girl looked between us.
“I’m sorry about him. He is a colossal ass. So if you could get the biggest dick of a doctor to look at him, that’d be great,” I said to her just as cheerfully as before.
She looked at me and then gave me a form.
“Can you please fill this out, and I’ll do my best,” she responded.
“Thank you,” I beamed at her.

I dragged Gerard along behind me and sat him in a seat as far away from the door as possible. I filled in the sheet as quickly as I could, only asking Gerard for insurance details and such. I handed it back to the woman and then grabbed my phone out. I searched for Mikey’s number and hit the call button.
“Mnngrf. Who’s dying?” I heard Mikey’s sleepy voice.
“Your asshole brother is with me in the emergency room with a broken nose because he decided he wanted to take on three burly bouncers,” I said flatly.
“God-fucking-damn it… He’s a fucking idiot. Thank you for taking care of him. I’ll get there as soon as I can,” Mikey grumbled, annoyed.
“Yeah, well hurry, because I’m not sure if I can stop myself from finishing up what the bouncers started,” I said, in a peevish tone.
I heard him sigh.
“Soon, I promise,” Mikey said and hung up.
I walked back to Gerard and he scowled at me.
“If you’re not careful the wind’ll change and your face will stay like that,” I mocked him.
“I’m not a fucking child,” he grumbled.
“Then stop acting like one! God, my four year old son behaves better than you do!” I snapped at him.
Gerard just sneered at me and then looked away.

An hour passed and still no Mikey, nor was Gerard’s name announced. I rubbed my eyes and willed myself to stay awake. I was now running on fumes. I had been awake since nine am and it was now just past five am. I tried to watch the show on one of the many tv’s but vision was blurring. I felt my head fall forwards and my eyes slid shut and I was just about to fall asleep when I felt like I was falling. I jerked awake and up and Gerard looked over at me.
“You look tired,” he said.
I looked at him through blurry eyes trying to detect any hint of malice in his voice.
“I am,” I replied warily. “I’ve been up for twenty hours.”
“You’re lucky. Sometimes I don’t sleep for three days,” Gerard said quietly.
I rubbed my eyes and forced them to focus on Gerard. His eyes were nowhere near as dilated as they were, though they were still bloodshot.
“That sucks. How do you do that?” I asked, now slightly curious.
“Xanax usually. Couple of them usually sends me down,” he frowned.
“Oh. I used to be on Prozac. I had to stop when my kid came along. Aaron didn’t want the baby to have any heart defects,” I replied.
Gerard looked at me with surprise.
“You were on anti-depressants?” he asked.
I snorted softly.
“You saw me, do you think that a couple of hours of talking about my feelings was going to help?” I asked him, amused.
He frowned at me.
“Was just fucking asking,” he grumbled.
I realised that I had offended him and I quickly back tracked.
“Hey, Gee, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you. I was more or less mocking the notion that talking is a cure to depression, like people seem to think,” I explained.
Gerard looked at me, sizing me up before something I hadn’t seen in forever happened.
He smiled. It was only small and barely there for a second, but I saw it.
“I haven’t seen you smile for so long,” I commented, before I even realised what I was saying.
Gerard’s lips pressed into a hard line and he looked away. I figured that was the end of our mini-heart to heart, but that was okay. Because for the first time, he hadn’t yelled at me or called me anything hurtful.

My eyelids started to droop again and I was starting to fall asleep again.
“You can rest your head on my shoulder if you want. I’ll wake you when the doctor calls my name,” I faintly heard Gerard say.
I looked at him and gave him a warm smile.
“Thank you,” I murmured, resting my head on his shoulder.
My eyes slid shut and before I knew it, I was out like a light.

“Bells, wake up, wake up.”
I felt a hand shaking my shoulder gently and I opened my eyes.
“Mmmfff, Whass goin’ on?” I mumbled blearily.
“I gotta go in to get my nose fixed,” Gerard grunted.
I sat up and looked around.
“Do you want me to come in?” I asked.
He looked at me and then shook my head.
“I’m not a fucking child,” he grunted.
So, we were back to that then.
“Mkay. I’ll just wait out here,” I said amicably, curling up in my seat again.
Gerard walked off and went into the first room. I pulled out my phone and checked the time. 6:28 blinked at me and I groaned. Alex was going to be waking up soon. He was going to be upset when he realised I wasn’t home. I looked around and realised there was still no Mikey.
Where are you? I texted him.
“Belladonna Bryar, can you please come into room three?”
I looked up confused and saw a harried looking blonde doctor outside room three. I stood up and made my way over.
“Is everything okay?” I asked him.
“Hi, I’m Doctor Chase. Your friend needs 3 needles and several stitches, but he won’t let us anywhere near him. He appears to have a phobia of needles. Can you please try and settle him down?” he asked.
“Uh, sure,” I agreed.

I walked in and smiled at Gerard, who was standing up and in a corner of the room, looking ready to bite someone’s head off.
“Fucking you! YOU brought me here!” he growled at me.
“Hey, Gee, I’m just here to talk. What’s up?” I asked, hopping up on the patient’s bed.
He looked at me suspiciously.
“I need needles apparently,” he grunted.
“Yeah, Doctor Chase mentioned that. You’re afraid of needles?” I asked lightly, trying to come across is nonthreatening.
“Yeah…” he muttered.
“I’m afraid of the dark,” I admitted to him.
“That’s stupid,” he muttered.
I frowned at him.
“I didn’t make fun of your fear so don’t make fun of mine,” I snapped.
He looked suitably ashamed.
“Whatever,” he grumbled.
I took that to be as close to an apology as I was ever going to get.
“I have to walk in the dark five days a week. The car park is always full when I get to work but empty when I’m finished so I have to walk all the way across the car park. It’s creepy as hell, but I have to, to get to work and to go home,” I said to him.
“So you’re saying I should just get over it,” he sneered.
“Not so much get over it, I still get scared walking in the dark. But just brave it,” I encouraged him.
He looked at me and frowned but began to walk over.
“Are you ready for your needles?” I asked him.
He frowned at me and chewed on his chapped lips.
“Sure, whatever,” he grumbled.
“Okay, I’ll get the doctors and leave you to it,” I said in a happy voice, trying to keep the good feeling going.
“No!” he burst out as I hopped off the bed.
I looked back at him in surprise and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights.
“Can you stay?” he blurted out.
He looked just as shocked as I was.
“Of course, Gee,” I replied softly.
He nodded at me and I smiled at him before grabbing Doctor Chase.

“Okay, now I’m going to inject one needle here, so that you won’t get tetanus,” Doctor Chase said, rolling up Gerard’s sleeve.
I could see the utter terror in his eyes and I slipped my hand into his and squeezed it. He gripped back even tighter.
“So, where are you going on your tour?” I asked Gerard.
He looked at me confused, before back at the needle.
“I-uh… W-we’re,” he stuttered as the needle got closer.
“Hey, it’s only polite to look at me when I’m talking to you,” I reminded him and gently shook him so he looked at me.
“Hu-FUCK!” Gerard exclaimed.
As he turned to look at me Doctor Chase had quickly inserted the needle while he was distracted.
Gerard glowered at me.
“You purposely did that,” he hissed at me.
“I’m sorry, but yes. You need these needles,” I tried to reason with him.
“Only two left,” Doctor Chase tried to reassure Gerard.
“No. No. No. No more,” Gerard decided and tried to move.
“Hey, Gerard, c’mon. Two is not many. I promise it’ll be over before you know it. Just be brave for me okay?” I pleaded with him like he was Alex.
He glared at me but lay back down.
“Okay, this one is an anaesthetic. It’s going to go near your gash. Just a little pinch,” Doctor Chase said, lifting Gerard’s shirt.

My face paled as I saw the true extent of what the bouncers had done. His chest was a mottling of blue, purple and green. It reminded me of what I used to look like.
“That’s confronting,” I said softly.
Gerard looked at me.
“It’s how you used to look,” he said softly.
“I was just thinking that…” I murmured in agreement.
I gripped tightly onto Gerard’s hand and I moved my gaze up to his face, I gave him a reassuring smile.
“So, which of yours is your favourite song?” I asked him.
“I-I think Helena… and Skylines and Turnstiles… I am fond of Cemetery Drive though,” Gerard said with a sad expression.
“I don’t know the last one, unfortunately,” I admitted.
His face screwed up into a grimace as the needle went in.
“I took inspiration from something of Mikey’s for it,” He said through gritted teeth.
“That sounds nice,” I smiled.

”Back home, off the run,
Singing songs that make you slit your wrists.
It isn't that much fun, staring down a loaded gun.
So I won't stop dying, won't stop lying,
If you want I'll keep on crying.
Did you get what you deserve?
Is this what you always want me for?” he sang at me.

My face paled again.
“That… Those… My letter?” I squeaked.
He laughed.
“Yeah. I tweaked them a little. But yeah,” he said.
I beamed at him. I was oddly touched.
“You know you’ve immortalised me now, even if no one but me realises,” I teased.
Gerard looked up at me in surprise, but then hissed.
“Sorry, I just thought while you were distracted it’s be the best time to get you with the third needle,” Doctor Chase apologised.
“Yeah, sure,” Gerard muttered.
“Okay, while I wait for those to work their magic, I’m going to straighten your nose. And it’s going to hurt. I can’t anaesthetise the nose. So just hold onto your girlfriend’s hand,” he said.
“We’re not—”
“She’s not—”
We both spluttered before Doctor Chase grabbed Gerard’s nose and with a crunch straightened his nose. Gerard let out a grunt of pain but then looked at me.
“Does it look okay?” he asked.
I smiled reassuringly.
“Just as good as before,” I assured him.
Doctor Chase set up a brace for his nose and warned him to take it easy for a bit.

“Okay, now I’m going to stitch you up,” he said, collecting his gear.
“I thought we were done with needles!” Gerard growled.
“You won’t feel it I promise. That’s what the needle was for, to numb the area,” Doctor Chase explained.
“No. No,” Gerard resisted.
“Gerard, this is the last of it. They just need to put in four stitches and then you’re done,” I promised him.
“No, no, let it heal on its own,” he insisted.
“Gerard, it will get an infection. It won’t heal back right and you’ll look like me,” I said firmly to him, lifting up my shirt and showing him my gaping scars.
“Whoa, what happened to you?” Doctor Chase asked, staring at the scars littering my body.
“Different things. I’m not the patient though, Gerard is,” I said to him firmly.
“Right, sorry,” he apologised, turning back.
Gerard looked at me and then back at the stitching tools and his face went pale.
“I can’t do it. I’m sorry Bells, I can’t do it,” Gerard started to get distressed.
“Hey, hey, Gee, Gee, calm down. How about he just tries the first stitch and if you can feel it, we’ll go home, okay?” I tried to bargain.
“No, no, no!” Gerard started to fret.
I sighed and I tugged on his hand.
“Hey, I won’t let him do anything bad, I promise. That’s what I’m here for,” I tried to soothe him.
“No, no, no,” he just kept repeating.
I sighed, I didn’t know what to do to distract him. I had used up all my tricks.
“I-I… I don’t know,” I looked at Doctor Chase helplessly.
“He needs the stitches. They’re for his own good,” he said.
I looked at Gerard who was now visibly distressed. I then thought of one last thing I could try. It was risky, it could work or it could end up with me getting hit but Gerard.
“Hey, Gerard, I promise. I won’t let him hurt you. I promise,” I soothed, standing close to his head.
He just stared at me. I chose that moment to try. I leaned up onto my tip toes and gently kissed him.

I waited for the inevitable rejection, the shove, the shouts, but it didn’t come. In fact he actually responded. His lips softened, yielding to mine, and began to move while his right hand held my face close to him. I let out a soft sigh, relieved he wasn’t going to kill me. I gently reached out with my tongue and brushed over his chapped lips. He obediently opened his mouth for me and I dove right in. I found that he tasted… bitter; chemical, and I had to force myself not to frown. I ignored the taste and coaxed his tongue into action. After just moments he was just as responsive as I was and he pulled me closer. Unfortunately that caused me to bump into the doctor who accidentally jabbed Gerard.

“Ow,” he muttered, pulling away and looked down to see three stitches in place.
I felt my heart race in fear as he looked at me.
“You fucking slut,” he breathed.
“Hey, she was doing it for your benefit, buddy,” Doctor Chase defended me.
“Get the fuck away from me,” he spat, his hazel eyes going dark.
He had immediately switched back over to his douche side, and I huffed at him.
“That’d be fucking right, it’s perfectly okay for you to do whatever the fuck you want to me to get what you want, but as soon as those fucking tables are turned you don’t fucking like it,” I scowled at him.
His hands lashed out and I stumbled back from the shove that I figured would come.
“Hey! Cut it out!” Doctor Chase reprimanded Gerard, moving between us.
“Don’t worry. I’m leaving,” I said to him.
“That’s right! Fucking run away! Like you always fucking do!” Gerard yelled at me.
I turned on my heel and glowered at him.
“I was ripped away, you fucking dick, get it right,” I snarled, before stalking out.

I stormed through the emergency room and made my way to my car. I climbed into it and quickly got the hell out of there, muttering curses at Gerard the whole way home. I pulled into my driveway twenty minutes later and stopped outside the front door. I was angry, but there would be no need to take it out on anyone inside. What was that trick that stupid therapist told us? Envision a scene and immerse yourself there.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I imagined being at a beach, sitting close enough to the water that when the waves came in the water cascaded over my feet. A wave came up and I imagined the pulling of the sand under my feet. I imagined the sound of the gulls and crashing waves. I imagined the smell of the salt water and fresh air and I began to feel my body relax a
fraction.

I opened my eyes after another minute and I felt much better. I opened the door and walked into my house. I walked into the kitchen and placed some coffee in the coffeemaker for Will before I grabbed a muesli bar. I was hungry. I quickly gobbled it down and poured myself a glass of water. I heard footsteps on the stairs and I looked up to see Will.
“Hey… are you just getting in now?” he asked groggily.
“Yeah. Had to take care of the man-child,” I grumbled.
“Gerard?” Will asked. “What happened?”
“Oh, I was just driving home from work and I saw these bouncers kicking a guy out then laying into him and I didn’t agree with it. So stupidly I intervened. Realised it was Gerard and took him to the hospital. He had a broken nose and his chest was all pranged up,” I grumbled.
My tiredness was starting to set back in and I needed sleep.
“Wow. Okay. Well, I’ll look after Alex for today then, so you can sleep,” Will offered.
“Mkay, thank you, Will. You’re wonderful,” I murmured.
He just shrugged and gave me a hug. I sighed content and hugged him back. My eyes slid closed and I felt like falling asleep just there.
“Will… you’re comfy,” I mumbled.
I felt his chest rumble and then I felt him duck down and then all of a sudden his arm was under my knees and under my back and he was carrying me, bridal style.
“What are you doing?” I asked, leaning my head on his shoulder.
“You looked like you were about to fall asleep on me, so I figured I’d better take to your bed before you decided to sleep standing up,” he chuckled, walking up the stairs.
I hummed in response. I felt him open the door and I noticed the difference in light as he walked in. He gently set me down on my bed and I smiled blearily up at him.
“Thank you,” I murmured.
“Any time Bella,” he replied softly.
He started to walk off but I stopped him.
“Will?” I called out.
“Yes?” he asked.
I thought about what Alicia had said, I thought about what Bob had said and I thought about how Gerard treated me.
“Stay with me?” I asked.
There was pure silence until I heard his footsteps come closer.
“Okay,” he whispered, laying down on the bed next to me.
I rolled over and cuddled up to him.
“Thank you, Will,” I murmured.
I heard Will’s heart speed up and his arms encircled me just as sleep dragged me under.