A Lifeless Dream

“Just walk away make it easy on us both
Just walk away there was never any hope
Just walk away you already know the deal
Just walk away pretend that none of this was real”

I sang alone to Five Finger Death Punch’s- Walk Away which these couple of days seemed to be my favorite song. After my talk with Jimmy I decided to give some time to Brian and wait to see what’s going to happen between us. Although I doubt something is going to happen but you can’t say no to Jimmy.

I was currently listening to music while getting ready to go out with the guys. I didn’t really want to go out but they insisted that I did.

I had already put on a long sleeve lace embellished dressed that I bought the other day with Lucy at the mall. I loved the fact that the back and the area of my cleavage were covered with lace.

My hair was halfway ready and then I would only have to put on some make up. I decided to curl my hair and let it fall down in loose curls. While doing my hair I continued hamming to the songs that came up and I had made sure that it was only love songs. Yeah I know way to forget Brian but I wasn’t in the mood to listen something else.

After I was done with my hair I checked the time. It was 7:00 p.m. so that means that I had an hour before I got to meet the guys which is great.

I put on my make-up and I didn’t forget to wear my red lipstick which I knew always made my thin lips look full and big.

I picked a pair of black hills and wore them before I checked one last time myself on the mirror. Satisfied with my appearance I grabbed my staff and headed out of the house and towards my car.
I started driving to the club that Lucy told me we were going to meet. I was never really into clubs but today all I wanted to do was drink, dance and forget about Brian. This is kind of hard because he is going to be there but that’s the reason I’m going to drink.

After 20 minutes I was parking outside of the club. I checked the time before I got out of my car and saw that I was just in time. I walked towards the entrance when I saw Lucy and Matt waiting.

“Looking good girl” Lucy said once she saw me

“Thanks” I chuckled and hugged her

“Hey Matt” I greeted him with a hug too

We made small talk until the others arrived. Finally after 10 minutes Zacky, Johnny and Jimmy came…which means that we have to wait for only one person. After I greeted all the guys we continue to talk while waiting for Brian.

“Trying to impress someone today?” Jimmy winked and placed an arm around my shoulders

“Not really. Why?” I asked him

“Oh! Come one and why did you dress like that? I’m going to have to punch the guys that will come to flirt with you” I started laughing but my laugh was caught short when I saw him.

It wasn’t the fact the fact that I saw him coming…no. It was the fact that he came and he was holding hands with a girl I didn’t really recognize. She had red hair and she was wearing a little too short dress.

“Hey guys” he said when he approached us

“Hey” they all had a frowned on their faces as did I

“Emma this is Zacky, Johnny, Jimmy, Matt his girlfriend Lucy and Alicia…Guys this is Emma my girlfriend” no…no this can’t be happening

Lucy gave me a sympathetic look but I was just stood frozen. He found a new girlfriend after all he said he found and new fucking girlfriend. The guys shook hands with them even me but it took a lot inside me not to break down.

As we walk into the club Jimmy and I stayed behind and I watched as Brian and Emma walked inside of the club with their hands linked. I wanted to cry… I wanted to go and shout at him and I wanted to leave. How am I going to stand to see him with another girl?

“Lissa I didn’t know I’m sorry” Jimmy said and he gave my shoulder a squeeze

“It’s not your fault Jimmy, don’t worry about it” I managed to smile to him

“Ok…just know that I’m here”

I nodded before we made our way to the club. The guys had already sat on a booth so Jimmy and I took a sit next to Zacky. Brian and Emma were sitting next to Matt and Lucy who looked beyond annoyed.

Just when I thought I might survive through the night without breaking down they started making out. Before I could do something I would regret I got up and headed to the bar.

“Rum and coke and three shots of tequila” I said to the barman and he nodded before he started making my drinks

After I got my drinks I paid and got back to where the guys were sitting. They already had a beer in their hands and their eyes widened when the saw me caring the drinks I got.

“What?” I asked because they were all staring at me

“You’re going to drink all of that?” Johnny asked

“Yeah” I nodded

“You’re going to get drunk” Zacky said

“That’s the thought Zacky” I said as I drowned the first shot of tequila

I noticed that Brian and Emma were missing. I turned my head and saw them dancing…she had her arms around his neck and he had placed his hand on her hips as they were grinding against each other.

I turned my head back because I couldn’t stand seeing them dancing. I was getting angry… I needed to make something to make him jealous. I had to…but why? Suddenly and idea came to me

“Hey Jimmy! Can I talk to you for a second?” I said to him nodded before he came and sat next to me

“What’s up?”

“I want to make him jealous” I said and he smirked

“Alright let’s go” he said and grabbed my hand

“How did you know what I was going to ask you?”

“Because I’m Jimmy” he winked and I laughed

“Just give me a minute” I said and accidentally my glance fall to Brian and Emma who were now kissing on the dance floor.

I drowned the two shorts of tequila and my rum with coke before I followed Jimmy to the dance floor. I was going to make him jealous… I want him fuming. Fuck I was angry. Just as we made our way to the dance floor Halestorm’s Love Bites started. Perfect.

I placed my arms around Jimmy’s neck as we started dancing and he placed his arms around my waist. Brian hadn’t noticed us yet. Jimmy took my arm and made me make a turnaround myself.
I squalled when he brought me back my back against his chest. That’s when his eyes snapped to us. I saw his eyes widened a little and I couldn’t help but felt a little happy about that reaction.

“He is watching us” Jimmy said to my ear.

“I saw him” I said and started swaying my body seductively to Jimmy

When the chorus came I couldn’t help but sang it out loud. I turned my head and saw Brian looking at me. We locked eyes for a moment before I mouthed to him.

“Love Bites Brian” I winked at him before I turned my attention back to Jimmy.

“What the fuck did you say to him and he is that mad?” he chuckled

“That love bites” I said and we both laughed

After the song ended we took our places back to where the guys were. The smile wouldn’t leave my face and it only turned bigger when I saw that Brian was glaring at Jimmy and me.

“I going to get more drinks you guys want anything?” they shook their heads and I headed to the bar to get my drinks

“Three shots of tequila” I yelled and the barman once again nodded before he started making the drinks

“You’re going to get drunk” A voice behind me said

“What I do is none of your business” I said once I saw it was Brian

“I only said it for your own good…no one likes hangovers” he smirked

“And no one likes stupid guys that they don’t know what they want but we deal with that” I said and his smirked dropped

“I saw you were having fun with Jimmy back there”

“Yeah I did because unlike someone else he treats me nice” I said getting angrier

“So you’re together?” he asked

“No we are not he is my friend but again that’s none of your business” The barman placed the drinks in front of me and I paid him

“Is it so bad that I care to know what’s happening in your life?” are you kidding me?

“Of course it is because you made it clear that you don’t want me in your life…now go back to your girlfriend because I’m sure she is looking for you” I said before I stormed off to the table.

“What happened?” Lucy asked me when she saw my face

“Nothing everything is perfect” I said before I drowned one of my shot’s

Brian came back and Emma sat on his lap. He looked at me with a smirk on his face before he started kissing her. He was doing this on purpose. My heart sank after everything that happened he comes and rub’s it in my face that he has a girlfriend…that he found someone he wants to be with unlike me.

My eyes watered at the thought but I hold back my tears. Instead I started drinking away my sorrow. Shot after shot and after a while I was so drunk I could barely walk. I wasn’t feeling well and I made my way to the bathroom all thought it was hard.

I barely made it before I started throwing up. I felt someone holding my hair which I realized after a while that it was Lucy. After I stopped I was too weak to move so I just sat down at the floor and rested my head to the wall.

“Are you better now honey?” she said and she removed some hair that had fall to my face behind my ear.

“Why did I have to fall in love with him?” I asked her as my tears started to fall

“Oh Alicia!” she said and sat down wrapping and arm around me and letting me cry to her shoulder.

“I’m going to ask one of the guys to carry you and drive you home ok?” she said when my crying had stopped

“No I can walk” I said and tried to stand up. She helped me and I was on my feet

She kept an arm around my waist while we walked back to keep me in place. When we reached the guys Lucy told them that it was better to leave. Jimmy offered to drive my car back to my house because he came here with Zacky.

We started making our way out of the club. Lucy tried to hold me so I wouldn’t fall but I didn’t let her. I was going to stand by myself. When we got out of the club I started to feel dizzy and my vision blurred a little.

“Lissa?” Lucy asked once she saw that I was barely standing

I was going to answer her but when I was going too turned to look at her a new wave of dizziness came to me but before I could fall someone came and picked me up. I t was Jimmy of course he picked me up bridal style and carried me to my car.

The rest of it was a blur. I could hear voices but that was it. When we got home I rushed to the bathroom and started once again throwing up. Jimmy held my hair back and when I was finished he picked me and placed me to my bed. That’s when I passed out from all the alcohol the last thought in my head was the headache I was going to have tomorrow.