A Lifeless Dream

I knocked on the door and waited for someone to open it. One week had already passed since that day. My things were packed and tomorrow night I will be leaving for Paris. My sister told me that I could work as a photographer to the company she was currently working which was great.

The only thing that was left for me to do now was telling Lucy and the rest of the guys that I was leaving…telling Lucy though was going to be much harder. A few minutes letter Matt opened the door with a smile on his face.

“Hey Lissa, come on in” he opened the door wider so I could come in

“Thanks. Is Lucy here?” He nodded

“Yeah, she is in the kitchen with the guys come” I followed him praying that Brian wasn’t here

I walked in the kitchen and saw only Zacky and Johnny sitting on the kitchen island with Matt and Lucy. After I greeted all of them I took a sit on one of the stools.

“Want something to drink?” Lucy asked me and I shook my head

“No thank you. I actually came here because I need to talk to you…all of you” I said and everyone’s attention was on me

“I believe that you already know what had happened between Brian and me…” they nodded

“Jimmy and I told them the day when…you know” Lucy explain and I gave her a reassuring smile

“It’s ok, don’t worry…”

“So what did you want to tell us?” Zacky asked and I look at him taking a deep breath before I started speaking

“After everything that happened I really can’t stay here anymore…what I’m trying to say it’s that I’m leaving” I said and look at them…they stood still looking at me

“And where are you going?” Johnny asked me

“Paris…I will live with my sister… I already found a job there…it’s for the best”

“I’m not going to lie we are going to miss you…but if you think that that’s what you need to do then do it. You know you are always welcome here if you change your mind” Matt said and I sent him a smile which he returned

I turned to look at Zacky and Johnny and they both nodded at me.

“Whatever you feel it’s right but don’t forget us ok?” Zacky said

“How it’s that possible?” I chuckled

“I’m with Zack and Matt here” Johnny said and I smiled

“Lucy?”

I turned to look at her and I saw her looking at me without saying a word I knew that face she was angry with me for leaving. I knew she would be but I couldn’t stay here she has to understand that. Instead she got up and left the room and I followed her to the backyard.

“Lucy…please you have to understand” I pleaded her

“Do understand what? I’m losing my best friend my sister for him…Please stay you can get through this Alicia” she yelled at me and maybe that was the first time she ever did that

“No I won’t…You know I don’t like leaving my best friend too but I can’t stay here” I yelled back

“Yes you can” she continues yelling

“No I can’t”

“Yes you can”

“Stop it Lucy” I lowered my voice

“I can’t say goodbye again it’s like been 13 all over again” she came closer to me

I moved closer to her and hugged her and she hugged me back as we were both crying. It really was hard saying goodbye again…it was already hard the first time. Lucy and I were like sisters…we use to spend all day together sometimes with my sister joining us. When she told me she had to move because of her parent’s I was sad for days and when she left I didn’t want to talk to anybody.

“Just call me every day ok?” she asked and I nodded

“I will” I said and we broke our hug to look at each other

“When do you leave?” she asked as she wiped the tears from her eyes

“My plane leaves tomorrow at 11:00 pm” she nodded

“So this is goodbye?” I nodded

“I’m going to miss you” she said as we hugged again

“Me too…but you can come and visit” I said and she smiled

We got back into the house and I told the guys that I would be leaving tomorrow night so this was the last time that they would see me. I hang out with them for a couple of hours but I had to go back home to pack the rest of my things.

“Goodbye Matt. Take care of my friend ok?” I said as I hugged him

“You don’t have to worry about that” he smiled

“Be careful ok? French people are weird” Zacky said when I hugged him and I chuckled

“I will…Goodbye Zack”

“Don’t forget us…” Johnny said when I hugged him too

“How can I forget my favorite gnome?” I asked and everyone laughed

I turned to look at Lucy who had tears in her eyes. I got closer and hugged her once again as she started crying and I tried my best no to start crying again.

“Goodbye Lulu” I said and she smiled a little because I used the nickname I had for her

“Goodbye Lissy” I chuckled

I got into my car and turned to look one last time at the guys. They all waved at me and I saw Matt holding Lucy as tears ran down her face. I waved back and slightly smiled before I started driving to my house. I’m really going to miss this place but I guess it wasn’t the place for me.

When I got home I started packing the rest of my things which took me about 3 hours to do so. When I finished it was 10 pm and I was exhausted. I took a bath and decided to spend my last day here by watching a movie. I chose a romantic movie-yes I like to torture myself- and made myself comfortable to the couch before I pressed play and Dear John, started playing.

I always loved that movie. I wanted a love as strong as theirs…even though they through a lot they never stop loving each other. By the end of the movie I had tears in my eyes…my life is never going to be like that…the only man that I loved with everything I had in me wanted me only as a friend.

I pushed that thought to the back of my head as I made my way upstairs to my bedroom getting ready to sleep for the last time to my bed. The last day to the house I loved so much this couple of months.

The next day I woke up around 10:00 am. I got up and made my way to the bathroom to shower. After I had my shower I got dressed and headed downstairs to the kitchen to eat breakfast. I took my time eating while examine every single part of the kitchen. I did the same to all the rooms. I wanted to remember this house.

Hours passed and I kept checking from room to room if I had forgotten anything. Thankfully all my thinks were packed except from the furniture. I let a sight escaped my lips as I sat down on my couch…I checked my phone and saw that it was 19:00 pm which means that I will have to leave for the airport in about an hour.

A knock came to my door and snapped me out of my thoughts. I opened the door and saw all the guys sitting there all except him. I was going to leave and he didn’t even want to say goodbye to me…that’s how much I meant to him. I smiled at them and opened the door and they could come in.

“You didn’t thought you were going to leave without saying goodbye to me” Jimmy said and hugged me

“No of course not” I hugged him back

They all came and sit down on the living room. I suddenly felt sad as I watched them all together making jokes and laughing…I am going to miss them when I leave and I’m going to miss him the most but I guess with time I will forget him.

After about an hour it was time for me to leave. I said once more my goodbyes to the guys…Lucy was a little better than yesterday. Jimmy said that he would stay to help me carry my suitcases to my car.

“So I guess this is it” I said when I close the door to the back of my car

“I guess so” Jimmy mumble before he came and wrapped his arms around me

“I’m going to miss you Jimmy” I said as I buried my face to his chest

“I’m going to miss you too” he said and broke our hug

“Come and visit ok?” I asked and he nodded

But before he could leave a car came and parked in front of my drive way. It was him…I saw him getting out of the car and come towards me. He looked so beautiful his hair was spiked and he wore black jeans him a black V-neck. I looked at Jimmy and he shrugged before he moved further to give us some privacy I was thankful that he didn’t leave.

“Can I have a goodbye?” he mumbles when he was close enough for me to hear him and I nodded.
He came and wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped mine around his neck. I inhaled his intoxicating smell for the last time before I leave

“I love you Bri…I know you don’t feel the same but I just wanted you to know that” I mumble with my face buried to his muscular chest

“But I do feel the same way Alicia…I love you too! Please stay.” He said and I shook my head before I took a step back to look at him

“Don’t say things that you don’t mean Brian” I looked into his eyes

“I mean it. I really do, you have to believe me…I was confused and didn’t want to realize my true feelings…” I shook my head once again

“It’s too late now” tears stared running down my cheeks

“It’s never too late” he said and I saw a tear escaping from his eye

“You know…” I said as I caressed his cheek with my right hand “your eyes have a little gold in them…that’s what made them special to me and I’m going to miss looking into them” he took the hand that was caressing his cheek and brought it to his lips and kissed it “But I can’t keep looking at them knowing that you don’t love me” I removed my hand from his hold and wiped my tears. He moved closer and capped my face into his hands and pressed a light kiss to my lips. I took a step back and looked him in the eyes for one last time…

“Goodbye Brian” he stood frozen not moving not saying a word. If he really loved me he wouldn’t have left me go so easily. I hugged Jimmy one last time before I got into my car and started driving…
I couldn’t control my tears…I had lost him forever but what if he meant that he loved me maybe we could work thinks out maybe everything will be ok for once. I could be happy with him. Yes that’s it I’m going to go back and be with him if that’s what he wants… The radio was playing softly on the background Papa Roach’s – Forever and I made my final decision to go back but when I was going to turn around I saw lights and before I could react a big truck came and crash my car making it flip around on the road…

“One last, kiss before I go

Dry your tears it is time to let you go

One last kiss “

The last lyrics of the song were heard as my eyes grew heavy and I couldn’t keep them open. I heard voices but I couldn’t bring myself to answer…and when I finally close my eyes I saw my mom’s beautiful face telling me to come to her. Two brown eyes that came to my mind stopped me I couldn’t remember who they belong to but they kept me away and I was trying to fight them so I could find peace with my mother…

BRIANS POV

I lost her forever…I’m never going to see her again… I know I was stupid I should have let her know that I love her when I realized it but I was afraid for my own feelings and now I lost her. I’m will never see her beautiful eyes again and I won’t see her smile at me the smile that made me fell in love with her… She didn’t believe me I wouldn’t even believe myself after everything that I did to her.

I had just came into my house when my cell phone rung with an unknown number…I shrugged and answer it anyway

“Hello?” I asked

“Hello! Are you Brian Haner?” a lady asked on the other side of the phone

“Yeah…who is it?”

“I’m calling from Huntington Beach Hospital you are the emergency call for Miss Alicia James” she said and my eyes widen

“Is she ok?” I asked immediately

“She was in a car accident Mr. Haner”

“How bad is she?” I asked again

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you…you have to come here”

“Please tell me is she going to be ok? Please” my voice was desperate I had to know if she’s going to be ok…I heard the lady sigh before she answered me

“The accident was really bad she will be lucky if she made it through the night” and with that the line went dead.

I felt my whole world crashing around me as I got to my car and started driving to the hospital hoping to find Alicia alive…hoping that this was just a sick joke.