A Lifeless Dream

The next day I woke up due to a loud crush from the living room. I got up from the bed without waking Brian up and walked to the living room only to see Lexi trying to pick something up. I saw her suitcases by the door and I frowned. Was she leaving?

“Lexi, what are you doing up?” I asked her and she turned around

“Sorry I didn’t want to wake you…I have to go back” she mumbled sadly

“But you just got here! Were you going to leave without saying goodbye?”

“I don’t know. At first I thought I should and then I thought I shouldn’t” she shrugged and left her purse on the couch

“Are you kidding me right now? You were just going to leave like that? Why?” I asked her in a harsh tone my voice still low in order to not wake Brian.

“I just… it would be better you know? You won’t be sad I won’t be sad” I could feel my eyes burning with tears and I sniffed before I talked.

“Lexi.” I sighed “You’re my sister and I love you and even thought we would both be sad you can’t leave like that ok? How are you even going to the airport?”

“I called a cab” she shrugged “and you’re right I can’t so…Hug?” she opened her arms and gave me an innocent smile.

I smiled and hugged her wrapping my arms around her shoulders. I squeezed her so tight it was a surprise that she was able to breath.

“I should go now” she said as we both pulled back “Bye Lissa. I love you”

“I love you too Lexi and please call me when you get home ok?”

With a last nod she was out of the door along with her bags. I saw the clock on the wall and it read 7 am in the morning. I made my way back to the bedroom where Brian was still asleep and a smile formed in my face when I saw him.

His was lying on his back one arm over his eyes while the other was spread out on my pillow. I lay down resting my head on his chest and pulled the cover further up to our bodies but I didn’t sleep I just lay there thinking about my sister. I hate that she was living in Paris and not here. I know I was selfish but I wanted my only family with me.

My eyes were filling with tears and I tried to stop them because I was so sick of crying. I didn’t want to cry for the rest of my life. Sadly I didn’t succeed and a few tears escaped falling to Brian’s torso which seemed to waking him up.

“Alicia what’s wrong?” he said when he was fully up and he looked down at me

“Nothing” I shook my head and turned to my side hiding myself from him.

I expected him to push me to tell him but instead he rubbed my arm and kissed my shoulder lightly while I was trying to compose myself and not break down completely. It was after a while that I spoke my voice was weak but I was glad that he waited for me to be ready to talk to him.

“Lexi left” I turned back around so I could look at him and I saw a knowing look on his face “She told you right?” I mumble and he nodded

“She told me last night but she said she was going to say goodbye to you so I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry” he pushed a lock of hair behind my ear and I took a deep breath closing my eyes.

“It’s ok don’t worry. She almost didn’t say goodbye she thought it was better. I found out she was leaving because I heard a crash from the living room and I found her ready to leave” I shook my head not wanting to remember it.

“Lissa?” I turned to look at Brian who was looking at me with a thoughtful look on his face.

“Yeah?”

“Lexi wanted me to give you something” he said and got up from the bed me following behind him.

“What did she want you to give me?” I asked curious

“This” he took an envelope from his jacket and gave it to me. It had my name on it and I recognized the hand writing immediately.

“Is it?” he nodded and I hesitantly took it in my hands.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you” I said remembering that I he didn’t knew about my dad “When it happened you had just got together with Emma…it was the day we fought because you know” I stopped because I didn’t want to remember that day

“Hey” he lifted my chin so I could look at him “It’s ok I’m not mad” he shook his head

I wrapped my arms around him laying my head on his chest mumbling a small ‘thank you’. He did the same wrapping his arms around my waist pulling me closer to him and he rested his chin on the top of my head. If I could, I would stay like this with him forever but sadly I couldn’t.

“I’m going to give you some space ok? To read the letter” he said and went to leave but I grabbed his hand making him turned back to look at me

“Please stay” I said my eyes pleading “I don’t want to do this alone” I shook my head and he nodded kissing the side of my head.

We both got dressed into something comfortable and we went to the kitchen. He made us coffee while I sat on one of the stools starring at the letter in my hands. I knew that if I opened it things were going to change and I didn’t want that because with me they weren’t going to change for the best. It’s always for the worst.

Brian sat down next to me and placed a mug in front of me. I looked at him and he nodded so I slowly opened the letter. I felt my heart pounding as I opened the white sheet seeing my dad’s handwriting.

When I started reading it I regret that I didn’t just throw it away. Did I possibly think that this person could change? He just went on and on about how much he hated me and he didn’t regret killing mom. I didn’t think I could hate someone so much but I did and that was my so called father and I truly despised him.

“Oh My God” I said when I read the last part of his letter “OH MY GOD” I yelled and stood up the letter falling from my hands as both of them flew to my mouth. My eyed widened and my knees felt weak. I was ready to fall and I felt Brian’s hands holding me up.

“What happen?” he asked worried and I turned to look at him my eyes full of shock.

“He is…he is not my dad” I lowered my head, I didn’t know if I was supposed to be happy or not

Brian let go of me and pick up the letter reading it himself and when he was finished he looked at me the same way I was looking at him.

“Then who is it?” he asked confused

“I don’t know” I shrugged “And you know what? I don’t want to know” I grabbed the letter from his hands and found a lighter.

I light it and placed it near the letter which got on fire in seconds. I left it in the sink and I stared at it as it slowly burned. Brian came and hugged me from behind and I leaned back so my back was resting on his chest.

“Are you sure?” he mumbled and I turned in his hands so I could look at him

“Yes” I nodded “after a long time everything is finally ok…we are ok. I don’t want any drama in my life…So please keep this a secret”

“Ok…whatever you want” he kissed my forehead and I smiled telling him that I was going to have a shower.

I went into the bathroom and strip from my clothes. I got into the shower and turned the water to hot before I started showering feeling all the tension and stress leaving my body. After about twenty minutes I got out and got dressed.

Brian was sitting on the couch watching TV and he was wearing a pair of basketball shorts. I made my way to him and he hadn’t really notice me until I sat on him straddling him. Before he could say anything I cupped his face in my hands and placed my lips on his.

He was surprised at first hell I was surprised with myself. I felt like I hadn’t kissed him in so long. His hands went to my lower back pulling me closer to him as he licked my bottom lip. I grunted him access as our tongues battled for dominance which he won. We continue kissing and his hands moved lower cupping my ass and giving it a squeeze making me moan.

He laid me down on the couch hovering over me and pulled away looking at me with a grin plastered on his face.

“What happened to you?”

“I don’t know” I shrugged “I’m just trying to be the old me…I liked the old me” I smiled up at him

“I think I’m going to like the old you too” he said before his lips were placed on mine

I smiled as our lips tangled together in a slow sensual kiss and I felt him smiling too. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my hands in his messy hair and tugged it a little. He groaned and of course his phone had to ring ruining our moment.

“Hello?” he asked breathless and I could barely make the voice coming from the other end

“No Jimmy we’re not fucking” he said and I laughed a little “at least not yet” he winked at me and I felt the hit rushing to my cheeks

“Do we have to?” he whined after a minute “fine we’ll be there in and hour” he said and hung up the phone.

“They are going to the beach” he said before I had a chance to ask and he laid his head on my shoulder as I started stocking his hair.

“We should get ready then” I smiled when I saw him frowning even though his eyes were closed

“But I don’t wanna” he whined opening his eyes and looking at me pleading.

“It will be nice. I haven’t seen the guys in like ages” I pouted and he kissed my pouted lips.

“Fine but you’ll pack a bag and you will stay back to mine ok?”

“Ok” I said and we both got up to get ready.

After half hour we were both ready and we took Brian’s car to the beach. When we got there we saw everyone plus a girl that I didn’t recognize sitting a little further down on the beach. He took my hand and we walked to where the guys were playing around and I kissed Brian’s cheek before I let go of his hand and started running towards Matt. I jumped on his back and he stumbled a little before he cached me.

“What the fuck?” he exclaimed as everyone started laughing and he turned to look at me “What are you doing on my back?” he laughed

“It’s really comfortable up here you know?” I laughed and jumped of his back greeting everyone because I had missed them big time.

Thankfully they weren’t mad at me because Jimmy and Brian explained to them as to why I had stayed away once again.

“Lind’s? What are you doing here” I hugged her surprised to see that she was the girl that I didn’t recognized earlier

“Zacky invited me” she said shyly and I grinned at her before I winked at Zacky.

Before I had a chance to strip from my clothes someone throw me over their shoulder and after five seconds I realized it was Jimmy.

“Jimmy put me down my clothes are gonna be all wet” I yelled but he didn’t stop “Brian save me” but of course he didn’t he was busy laughing his ass off along with everyone else.

I closed my eyes and a moment letter Jimmy throw me in the water and I quickly got out letting the fun begin.