She's Not Afraid

Me , Two-Bit and Steve were in the living room watch some show on TV. I wasn't watching it I had to much on my mind. Steve got up from the couch.

"I gotta get going I got work in the morning," Steve said

"See ya," Two-Bit said

"Bye Steve," I said

Steve came over to me and gave me a hug. Two-Bit layed down on the couch putting his legs over mine. I thought about pushing him off. I watched as he yawned and slowly his his eyes drifted closed. I tryed staying awake but it was no use. My eyes lids were heavy and its been a long day.

When I woke up the house was quiet. Me and Two-Bit were still on the couch with a blanket over us. It must still be early. Carefully I got up from the couch. Two-Bit turned over which scared me. I slid my jacket on and left. I wasn't leaving Tulsa or anything I just needed to see them. The sun was just setting. A cold wind caused me to shove my hands deep into my jacket pockets. It took me about twenty minutes to walk to the old cemetery. First I went to visit my moms head stone. She had died for overdoing just a few weeks before what happened to me. As for my dad he was a low life. He left me and my mom. She may have been a drug addict but she tried her hardest to rise me well.

After I went to find Johnny and Dally. As smiled formed on my face to see that they were put next to each other.

"Johnny Cade what did you get yourself into?" I asked out loud

Dallas Winston. Now that boy was something. We had a love hate relationship. I lost my virginity to that boy on my fourteenth birthday. It hurt like hell. I don't even know what we were thinking. Now hes gone and Johnny is to. Johnny Care never failed to put a smile on my face. Hes wasn't like most of the Greasers out there. Nothing like Two-Bit, Dally, or Steve hell nothing like Sodapop. My knees felt weak beneath me. My breathing became heavier. Without warning tears fell down my cheeks. I fell to my knees.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you guys. This is all my fault I'm so sorry. Johnny, Dally I'd do anything in this world to bring you back," I sobbed

I felt someone put their hand on my shoulder. My heart stopped. I quickly stood up ready to swing at whoever it was.

"Woah. Woah sorry I didn't mean to scare you," Ponyboy said with his hands raised up

"Damn you Pony!" I said

"Are you okay?"

"No not really."

"You know I've heard all of them talk about you a lot"

"Of course," I smiled

"Honestly I don't remember you very much," Pony said

I looked over at him he was about eleven when I left.

"Lets take a walk kid," I said wiping away my tears

Me and Pony started walking towards main street.

"What do you remember of me?" I asked

"Not much. I remember you always being over and fighting with the guys," Ponyboy said

I let out a loud laugh.

"Of course. I'm a Greaser girl I gotta be tough. And they sure showed me how," I laughed

"Where have you been?" Pony asked

"Everywhere."

"Why did you leave?"

A lump formed in my throat. My plams became sweaty. Its been a while since it happened and I haven't talked to anyone about it for years.

"It was about four years ago. It was late out and I was walking home from the diner. I don't know what they were doing on our side of town but I ran into some Socs. I tryed getting away and fighting them off but what is five big Socs against one fourteen year old girl? They took me into the nearest ally way beat me up then took turns raping me. The five of them left me there to basically die. A couple Greasers found me the next day. They called the guys and came and got me. They all were on rage," I said

Ponyboy looked at me in complete shock.

"Those sick assholes," Ponyboy mumbled "what happened after?"

"I was scared very scared. I was thought not to be scared and be tough in this case I didn't care. A few days after what happened I ran into one of the guys who did it that time I did get away. I needed to get away I was tired of being judged cause Im a Greaser so I went to live with my aunt, I stayed in touch for a little while. Leaving was the best and worst idea I ever had. Being back in Tulsa feels right. I left her afraid now I'm back and I'm not afraid," I said

Ponyboy looked seriously lost for words what made me giggle.

"That's one tough experience for a girl to go threw," Ponyboy said

"Tell me about it, it always haunts me," I mumbled

"I'm sorry you had to go threw that."

"Don't you feel sorry. This sounds weird but it made me stronger."

"Good do you remember the Socs who did it?"

"A few .. Jake Mitchard, Ryan Flannery and Danny Smith."

"I know those guys. Two-Bit got in a fight with Jake a few months back. Danny I don't know what happened to him and Ryan I think hes in jail"

"Good he deserves to be in jail hes -"

I cut off short when I seen a guy in Kakis and a varsity jacket walking our way. I knew who it was right off the bat ... Danny Smith.