Beneath Your Perfect

I sat there completely still watching the kids around me play in the snow that had covered the park ground over night. I was here to take photos but I couldn’t really focus. I hadn’t been able to focus for a while now. Coming here was supposed to help but it definitely wasn’t.

Liam had been here with me, multiple times and all I could imagine was him sitting here on this bench with me, smiling and talking. I would even settle for the cold, silent Liam I had when we first started coming here. That Liam was better than no Liam.

My glove covered fingers fumbled for my phone as I felt it vibrate in my coat pocket. I pulled my beanie tighter over my head before pressing the phone to my ear.

“Hello?” I said vaguely, not glancing at the caller.

“We’re back.” Harry’s tired voice came through the phone, I sat up straighter, staring ahead. “Jade?”

“Yeah? Oh okay well that’s uh it’s good.” I mumbled, my mind hurrying through a hundred thoughts and I couldn’t focus on any. “He’s uh, he’s good right?”

“Well I wouldn’t say he’s good. I would say he’s exhausted, hungover, probably hungry and definitely heartbroken.” I felt my body sag slightly against the bench as Harry’s slow deep voice came through my phone. “But he’s alive.”

“Yeah.” I said softly not sure what else Harry wanted me to say.

“Maybe you should come see him.”

“I really don’t think that’s a good—.”

“He asked for you.” Harry cut in. And well that was unexpected. “He was almost passed out on the plane but he did say your name a lot.”

“I have to go Harry. Just take care of him yeah?” I said softly in the phone, slowly pulling it away from my ear.

“Wait, Jade! Don’t do this. Just come see him things will be better if you come see him.” I could hear the pleading notes in his voice, I could feel them tugging at my heart. But this was better, I knew it was.

“Bye Harry.” I said quickly before pulling my phone away from my ear and hanging it up.

Liam was back and he was safe. Maybe not perfectly well but he was alive and for now that’s all that mattered. Me seeing Liam would definitely not help that. He was better where he was, away from me.

He would be fine without me; actually he would be better without me. His family and his band would take care of him and I had a feeling this time they weren’t going to let him get away with anything.

I spent most of the day at the park before the cold became too much and I made my way home.

“I’ve been trying to call you for the past 4 hours!” Jaz screeched to me the moment I walked inside my door. I took a step back from the panic on her face before glancing down at my phone. The screen was blank.

“It must have died.” I muttered, throwing it on the nearest surface.

“Yes I gathered that. Well there’s someone here to see you.”

“I don’t feel like talking to anyone.” I whined to her moving towards my bedroom where I had spent the last two days.

“He’s not going to go away.” I glanced up at her surprised. He? Liam. My heart rate increased as I moved towards the kitchen where Jaz pointed. I slowed to a stop however when I realised the man sitting at my dining table was not in fact Liam. But it was a man who had sat there before.

“Miss Anderson.” The man in the business suit stated, standing up to greet me. I eyed him carefully having no idea where he was here. “I’m not sure if you remember but my names Eric Leony, I was the man that suggested the deal between Mr. Payne and yourself.”

“I remember.” I replied stiffly. Not moving from where I was to shake his hand. He dropped it to his side and his face stiffened slightly.

“I’m glad.” He replied taking his seat.

“Can I help you with something?” I asked wanting him to get to the point. I wasn’t in the mood for playing any game Liam’s management wanted me to play.

“Yes you can actually. It’s come to our attention that Mr. Payne and yourself have in the public eye stopped your relationship.” I closed my eyes briefly wanting this man out of my flat as quick as possible. “And well you are violating our deal.”

“I’m sorry?” My eyes snapped open as soon as the words left his mouth. “You were aware that Liam and I actually had a proper relationship, we weren’t just together because of the deal right?”

“Yes we were aware.” His expression and tone conveyed that he was no in fact happy about that. “Just as aware that it has ended. However throughout this the deal that you agreed to still stands. You will be apart of Liam’s life in the public eye until we say that you no longer can be.”

“I didn’t sign anything.” I stated instantly.

“No you didn’t by your insistence. But you did agree and I don’t think you would want to risk anything right now. Especially with your new book being published.” My eyes widened at his words. Was he actually threatening me?

“There is a party being held in the boys honor in two nights time. You will have Liam ready and accompany him there.” He said briskly, standing up and pushing my chair in.

“And if I don’t?” I asked annoyed.

“How about this? You accompany him and that will be it. We won’t ask you to do anything more. If you choose to leave Liam’s life after the party then we will have a story planned that will benefit you both. This will be all you have to do. Have a good night Miss Anderson.” I stayed standing where I was as he left the room. I couldn’t believe this that they could force me into this.

“Did you hear that?” I exclaimed to Jaz as she entered the dining room. She nodded at me.

“Well you did agree to date Liam for them.” She said slowly as I stared at her disbelieving.

“It’s not like I signed a contract!” I protested instantly. She rolled her eyes at me.

“I know but you agreed to fake date a famous guy to better his reputation. Do you know how many things are wrong with that sentence? What did you think was going to happen Jade? That this wasn’t going to come back and bite you in the ass?” I stayed silent and averted my eyes from her own as guilt washed over me.

“I fucked up.” I said softly as she nodded at me.

“Yeah you did. So take Liam to the stupid party, talk to him about everything and then leave to go to America. You tried to stick around for Liam but are you really going to sacrifice everything you’ve worked for, for this messed up relationship? Now that you have a chance to go to America and get your book out there, that needs to be your priority.”

“And just drop Liam?” I asked her softly, biting my lip as I did.

“It seemed easy for him to just drop you and leave the country. I mean do you really think he was going to come back if the boys didn’t go and get him?” I watched for a moment knowing the truth in her words.

“I have to tell him first though. I can’t just leave like he did. I’m not him.” I said softly to her.

“And then you will agree to go to America?” She asked hesitantly. I sighed and moved towards my bedroom again.

“I already did. I called last night and said I would go. I leave in 10 days.” I told her before disappearing into my room.

I grabbed the largest suitcase I had and pulled it out from underneath my bed. I unzipped it and moved towards my clothes before stopping and walking back to fall on my bed. The moment I could get out of this deal I could move on with my life. Liam and I didn’t start right. And I don’t think we could end it right.