Primus Amor.

All throughout the whole day, I was just sitting there on the pale leather couch doing my biology homework. I was curled up into a ball with a bunch of papers on my knees which asked different questions about photosynthesis and respiration. As any person can guess, a severe headache was followed after three hours of consequently doing homework.

“I need a break.” I mumbled to myself before getting up from the couch. I rubbed my temples trying to think of anything that didn’t involve chemicals and whatnot.

I walked over to the kitchen, full of hope that there would be food but to my dismay there was none. The fridge only contained vegetables, particularly celery, and fruits. Why does Trina have to be so health conscious? My next option was the cupboards. I opened all, still hoping to see some pancake mix but to no avail. Oh god, no food. Red alert.

I looked at the clock placed at the left side of the room and gasped. It was only three o’clock? I scowled and walked back to the living room where all my books were scattered. I was done with my homework as well as my reading assignments. I’ve got nothing else to do which would be productive. Might as well go out and enjoy the sun. If there was a sun to be seen today. It usually rained in London so it was no wonder that I wouldn’t be able to see the sun.

I trotted over to where my room was, deciding that it’d be best if I just went out and grab something to bite. I went to my dresser and grabbed my phone. I looked down at my outfit and scowled. To go out in pajamas or to go out in skinny jeans? I glanced at my bedroom window and saw the clouds teasing me with cotton candy. I bit my lip and shrugged. Skinny jeans and my good old band tee will suffice.

I changed into my jeans but kept my band shirt proclaiming my love for The Ramones on. I slipped on some toms and shoved my phone in my pocket as well as a few Euros for my lunch. Knowing Trina, she wouldn’t be back until 5 to go and change for the party then she would come home the next day with a massive hangover. I tied my hair up in a messy bun and applied some lip gloss.

My feet brought me back to the living room where my books lay scattered around the table. I sighed and decided to organize them before I go out. At the very least when I come back I have one less thing to worry about.

Once satisfied with my organization of books and papers, I grabbed the flat keys from the fruit bowl and headed out. I never understood why Trina insisted on placing the keys in the fruit bowl. Wouldn’t the bacteria contaminate the fruit causing stomach problems? Girls are so difficult to understand… particularly my cousin.

I stepped out of the flat (I am getting used to their slang… high five me) and locked the door. Our apartment was on the third floor and since the elevator was broken, I had to go all the way down to the lobby using the stairs. Not a blissful walk.

I was expecting a very calm, peaceful and uneventful walk to the café right across our complex but sadly no. When I walked out of the building, I saw a hoard of girls squishing themselves against the glass window. I know their muffins are to die for but isn’t his getting a little too rampant? They’re like a bunch of ferocious beasts looking for meat.

The girls ranged from around 12 to 19, all screaming a name that I couldn’t quite decipher. I cringed at how their voices sounded like knives being scratched at a blackboard. Damn it, I wasn’t able to bring my earphones.

If I weren’t craving blueberry muffins and a nice cup of earl grey tea, I would have went farther down the sidewalk to avoid the screaming girls. With a groan and a lot of determination, I crossed the road and tried to squeeze myself in with the crowd. I was pushing my way to the front which earned me a couple of glares from the females harboring the whole café. I would have cringed away in fear but my craving was too strong. I didn’t care. I had enough of learning about NADH and ATP but if I don’t get a muffin and some tea I just wasted precious ATP on this.

“Excuse me!” I yelled, getting closer and closer to the front of the store. A few girls called me a bitch and told me to get lost. I would have been offended but muffins.

When I finally reached the front of the store, a big bulky guy stood guarding the entrance. With my short stature and his lanky image, I looked like a stray cat. He didn’t move an inch even if I was a foot away from him.

“Uh, I would like to go in.” I awkwardly started, crossing my arms. I was becoming aware of the stares I’m receiving for this confrontation.

“No visitors allowed.” He replied in a monotone voice. I rolled my eyes and licked my lips. A hungry Portia meant a Sassy Portia and that was a no-no.

“I’m actually a customer here who simply wants to have some blueberry muffins and a cup of earl grey tea. There’s a difference.” I retorted. He narrowed his eyes at me but refused to move.

“I’m sorry miss. You cannot enter.”

I stood there with my mouth agape. Was this guy serious? He won’t let me enter this café that I came to love ever since I arrived in London? My lips were set in a straight line as I glared at him. My eyes traced over the glass and saw one of the workers, James, motioning for me to go enter by the back door. Ah, the perks of being a regular.

I snapped my head back towards the bulky man who was clearly waiting for me to leave. So be it.

“Fine.” I replied shortly and walked away. I could hear the crowd laughing at me but again, I didn’t care.

I maneuvered my way towards the back of the café and saw James waiting for me by the back door. I silently thanked him and went inside letting the aroma of coffee and teas fill my nostrils. I might have let out a moan of satisfaction but I was glad that James already left to serve some of the customers. That would be embarrassing.

I was actually behind the counter so I quickly went out to order. This should be quick. I rattled on my usual order and waiting patiently for the girl to call my name. I became tired after the pushing and squeezing back there so I went over to a table and settled down. I fished out my phone and started playing some of my apps to pass the time.

The café was pouring out Jazz music from the speakers giving a very happy vibe. The walls were painted with a soft mahogany which reminded you of those trees in the woods. Carvings of coffee beans were seen all around and the menus they have were written on this chalkboard which gave off a homey feel. I loved this place.

I pursed my lips, getting engrossed in the game I was playing when I heard the two fellows to my right talking. Their voices were quite loud so I wasn’t exactly eavesdropping.

“They managed to follow us again this time…”

“I gotta give our fans some credit though, that was bloody fast.”

I looked up from the game I was playing and glanced at the two boys who were having their fair share with coffee. Hmm, they looked familiar. I continued to stare at them, wondering where I have seen them but gave up when the barista called out my name. I quickly got up and went over to the table to receive my glorious tea and muffin.

“Thank you for dropping by Portia!” The lady said, giving me a vibrant smile. I returned it with a grin of my own and turned around to see the two lads looking right at me. Was there something on my face? The thought of having something on my face made me feel all self-conscious and embarrassed. It just had to be two hot guys looking at me. Man, if only I could wipe that something off but my hands were currently full.

“You like The Ramones?” The blond guy asked who had a muffin in his hand. He had an accent which I couldn’t quite put my finger on. One thing is for sure though, he wasn’t English.

My eyes widened at the thought of a guy liking the same band as I did. He knows The Ramones. Someone pinch me. I felt a grin come its way up to my face but I controlled it.

“Uh, I-I… yeah?” Smooth Portia, real smooth.

“That’s great! You have an awesome shirt by the way.” He added, making me blush a little. I nodded and glanced at his companion who was nodding his head in approval. He had black hair with a blond streak. Looked a bit mean but then, I wouldn’t want to judge.

“Thanks. I, uh, have to go. Nice chatting with you though.” I said as casually as I can. I appreciate the fact that I just got complimented on my music taste but I would really want to get back to my flat and have a How I met Your Mother marathon. It felt a little weird to be talking to a couple of strangers but then again; I was a teeny bit happy. I didn’t wait for a reply since I hastily went to the front doors where in the same screaming girls waited. The bulky guy was there too who seemed shocked to see me come outside with a bag of muffins and a cup of tea.

I smirked at him and cocked my hip.

“Fancy seeing you here.” I said, faking surprise. I laughed at my own words and shook my head, walking away from the crowd as well as the guy. I could hear some ‘oooh’s from the background and I couldn’t help but smile a little. No one had the right to meddle with my muffin cravings. No one.



“Five seasons of… oh my god. Perfect.” I yelled, tired of all the feelings bundled up inside of me.

I just finished the last episode of season 5 and I was squealing inside. I was clutching a pillow while rocking back and forth, eager to watch the next season. Yes, I may have wasted around 5 hours of my precious time but I had nothing else to do.

My bed sheets were all tangled up due to my explosion of feelings while watching my favorite tv show. I should really fix it or else people would get the wrong impression. With a sigh, I got up and fixed them. Afterwards, my stomach grumbled letting out a roar. It was about time I ate something.

I walked out of my bedroom, phone in hand, and in to the kitchen where some leftover muffins were in store. Even if I had loads and loads of books and dvds, I still felt lonely whenever Trina would leave for school. I didn’t exactly have a big social life. I left all my friends back home as well as my family. I sighed and shook my head. It was better to focus on the now than dwell on the past. The past only made me remember things I’d rather forget. Also, it’s better to smile right?

I sat down on one of the stools and started eating the food I bought earlier that day. I started munching on it, savoring the goodness but I wasn’t entirely happy. I was alone, obviously, and the silence was killing me. There was a ringing in my ears and I couldn’t stand another minute alone in this fucking complex. I groaned and took out my phone from my pocket, staring at the screen to see if I had any missed calls or messages from anyone.

0 calls and 0 messages.

This clearly proves that I have no social life

I sighed and placed my phone on the counter. I guess I could sleep early. Nothing to do anymore. Except Trina’s survey which I can’t answer because I’m not in love. Kudos to me.

I just sat there moping around for a few minutes when I heard my phone blast out Stacey’s Mom by Fountains of Wayne. I love that band as well. I retrieved it from the counter and unlocked it.

“Hello?”

“Hi Portiaaaaaaaaaaa!”

I cringed but smiled nonetheless. I knew who this girl was. This was the girl who told me I was weird the first time she saw me. She was the girl who always accompanied me whenever I went, with force of course. She was the girl who was always my partner at school activities and the girl who showed me to laugh at my own mistakes. Her name? Cheska Nicolas.

“Yes hello Cheese. What’s up?” I couldn’t help the smile creeping up on my face. It was good to finally talk to someone. Someone who I actually know and not a bunch of strangers who complimented me on my music taste. Trina came back to the flat a mere hour ago without me noticing. She left a small note on top of the coffee table telling me that she was to come home the next morning and that I had to make sure we had some aspirin. Typical Trina.

“Ceiling. How’s London? I really miss youuu. Nothing’s the same anymore.” I could hear her pouting from the other side of the line. I laughed and took another bite from my muffin.

“Sure you do and London’s great! I’m quickly adjusting to the weather and stuff. I don’t have many friends though…” I trailed off, making sure that she wouldn’t catch the sadness hitched up in my throat when I said that. I am such a lonely loser.

“I’m sure you’ll meet someone! Or you know, a special someone.” She giggled while I rolled my eyes.

If she was next to me, I would have slapped her. I was debating on whether I should tell her about the two guys who talked to me but figured that it wasn’t worth it since we only spoke for a few seconds and that involved two lines.

“Haha I doubt that. I don’t know how to fall in love remember?” I replied. Cheska snorted and made a puking sound.

“Right. Ever since Edward Golive rejected you in freshman year, you’ve been dense like a rock.” I rolled my eyes even if she couldn’t see me. Ah Cheska, defying my logic.

“I never liked Edward okay. It was a phase.” I retorted, trying to defend myself. Edward was a mistake I made a long time ago and I planned to leave it all behind. He wasn’t my first love. He was just someone who I admired. I asked him if he wanted to get some pizza but rejected me because he assumed I liked him. Cough, cough. I most certainly do not like him.

“So you’re saying falling in love is a phase?”

I kept silent since I had no answer to that. I guess it was a phase. It ends like all phases and then it changes into something else. It’s quite hard to explain. Cheska must have taken my silence as a sign that I was wrong and she was right.

“Anyway, did you get me some signatures?” She was good at changing topics.

“What signatures?”

“My favorite band? One Direction?”

I slapped my forehead in exasperation and nodded. Right. Her favorite band. I keep forgetting about that. Before I left for the U.K., Cheska asked me to find her favorite band and get her a signature or something signed from them, if I find them that is. London was a big city and I absolutely had no idea where to find them. I also had no clue as to what they looked like. I wasn’t exactly a big fan of theirs. As a dear friend, I would do anything to make her happier. It must hurt to lose your friend to academics right?

“Right, right. I am so sorry, I keep forgetting.” I admitted sheepishly. I heard her give a dramatic sigh before speaking up once again.

“It’s okay. I just wanted to check up on you. It’s been awhile yes? You should start calling me more often! What are friends for?”

“Friends are for dummies that have no money.” I replied as casually as I can. Cheska started whining and telling me how bad I am which in turn made me laugh. It felt good to laugh again. I mean, I was happy here at London since I get to spend some time with my cousin and I get to travel to one of the most gorgeous cities in the world but my heart was in Seattle. It will always be.

“Hey quit laughing! You know, I’d love to stay and chat but I’ve got this paper due the next day and I’m actually procrastinating by talking to you.” I stopped laughing and realized the time difference the two places had. I wanted to talk to her more and fill this aching gap in my heart but I had to be considerate.

“Alright. Make sure you get an A!” I replied cheerfully enough.

“Oh I will. Are you losing faith in me?! Don’t forget my signatures okay!”

“I won’t promise. Just send me a picture of them. I don’t really know their faces.” Cheska laughed and agreed to send me one of their pictures later. We said our goodbyes and dropped the phone call. In the midst of my loneliness, God has told my friend to pick up her phone and call Portia so that she can feel better. After dropping the phone call, I changed the settings to make my phone silent. I wouldn’t want my phone to be blasting music in the middle of the night.

I placed my phone back on the counter, feeling better already. After a few seconds it buzzed to life. I picked it up and saw a message from Cheska. Opening it, I saw a picture of five good-looking boys who must be in this band she speaks of. I memorized each face and exited the picture once I was sure of their physical features.

I finished my muffin and threw the wrapper at the trash can. I tried to throw it inside the bin but missed by a mere inch. I actually stood up to pick it and throw it at the proper place. I am in such high spirits just because of one measly phone call from my best friend.

It was quite dark outside, the stars winking down on me. I felt a yawn come out of my lips and I knew that it was time to go to bed. I stretched my arms and grabbed my phone from the counter, trudging back to my room where the comfiest mattress I’ve ever slept on waited.

I could hear some of the cars just outside the building, honking at each other. It took a few nights for me to get used to the noise but now I think of it as a tune that puts me at ease. Kind of like a lullaby that you can’t sleep without hearing.

I unlocked my door and immediately pounced on my bed, not caring if I was wearing the same old clothes I wore since morning. Sleep was overpowering all my senses and I couldn’t even think straight. A sigh of delight escaped from my mouth as I wrapped my arms around one of the pillows. I hugged the pillow with my body and closed my eyes, already falling into the dark abyss when I felt something buzzing by the foot of the bed.

“Fuck.” I groaned as my hands searched the bed sheets for my phone. Since I’m dead tired I just tossed it wherever hoping to find it the next morning. I opened one eye and saw my phone lighting up like the fourth of July by my foot.

Trina’s name was flashed across the screen, showing a picture of her gobbling up two slices of pizza at the same time. It was a funny picture I took of her a month ago when we had this little pizza party for ourselves. I sighed and slid my finger against the screen.

I pressed the phone against my ear and was met with dubstep music playing in the background. I frowned and pulled away, looking at the object incredulously. I placed it back near my ear and sighed. I was struggling to keep my eyes open but I was failing.

“Portiaaaaaaaaaa.” I groaned and fell back on my bed, closing my eyes since I just lost the competition.

“Wait—don’t tell me. You’re drunk and you need a ride home.” I heard her giggle in the background and a few people cursing at each other. Must be one hell of a party. I could tell a lot of people were there since the noise was impeccable.

“You k-know me sooooo well cousin.” Her words weren’t that slurred yet but if I didn’t get there in a few, I’d have to carry a blacked-out Trina to my car and back to our flat.

“I’m basically your D.D.” I mumbled, getting up from my bed. I smelled my shirt and scowled. I went to my closet and picked a new top that would later be my pjs. The gray v-neck was a little loose but it would have to do. I slipped on the toms I wore earlier and grabbed my wallet and car keys from my dresser. I quickly brushed my hair before putting it up into a messy bun. Again.

“Hurrrryyy up pweaseeee. This bloke wants to feel me up.” She whined. I chuckled a little but hastily went outside and locked our apartment. I went down the stairs and walked out into the cold London night. I shivered involuntarily, mentally cursing at myself for not bringing a jacket or a coat. The cold was biting every inch of my exposed skin which woke me up a little bit.

The night was a thousand degrees cooler than the morning which left me breathless. I quickly went inside the car and turned the heater up. I relaxed into the driver’s seat and turned the engine.

“Sure sure. Text me the address.”

I heard the phone click and my phone buzzed again showing me a message containing the address. With a sigh, I placed the car on reverse and went ahead to the party.