Are You Serious?

“Hey mom?..” I called as , Tubby licked some maple syrup off my fingers I had dangling off the kitchen table. She sat at the table too, she was just faced towards the tv we had set up on the counter. This morning she made pancakes , which was very surprising to me and Tubby. She even woke us up early and everything , I just knew today was going to be special.
My mom glanced over at me and smiled before , turning back to the tv.
“Yes sweetie?”
“I made a friend at school, she’s a cheerleader!”
She nodded slowly , not really paying attention to me. “That's good , hun”
I picked up Tubby and set him in my lap. “Her name is Luce! and she gives me shoes when I forget sometimes”
My mom giggled and shook her at something happening on tv before turning around to take a bite out off her pancakes. She smiled at me again before turning around again.
“That's very nice Dallas.”
I nodded. “Yes she is very nice! she even drove me home yesterday! Wasn't that very nice?”

My mother snapped her head quickly to me, her eyes squinted. Uh oh.

“What?..” she whispered

I raised my hands reassuringly, “It’s okay mom she didn't see the house, I told her to drop me off at another house and I just walked home from there...smart huh?”
Sometimes my mom gets very insecure about where we live, she says it’s because we live in a really poor area, out in the woods. But I think it’s because she knows when people see this house they feel lonely, just like us.

She rolled her eyes, I now have her full attention which is what I thought I wanted , but now I wish she was still laughing at the tv.
“Why are you so stupid? huh I told you not to ride in cars with strangers” I frowned.
“Did you listen? she’s not a stranger she’s a friend!” She slammed her hand on the table, causing Tubby to be startled and run out of my arms , away somewhere probably to hide he is only just a baby.
“Don’t you raise your voice at me, do you understand?”
I nodded frantically. “I’m sorry mommy please don’t be mad, I didn't mean it”
She glared at me.
“Dallas shut the fuck up! okay? don’t you dare try and guilt trip me! this is your fault!”
I stood up because I was scared, and I had to leave for school I didn't want to miss the bus.
“I wasn't trying to guilt trip you, I didn't even know you could trip guilt I thought it was just a feeling not a person! honest I swear!”
I think me standing just made her more mad, because she stood up too.
“GOD! shut up! you are so fucking stupid! who raised you to act like this? Huh? you think you're better than me? is that what this is?”
I was so confused, tears ran down my face as i shook my head.
“N-no mommy I-”
I quickly had to duck, the sound of our last good glass plate hitting the wall behind me, rung my ears. I looked up at my mom, who seemed to be out of breath , she glared angrily at me .
“I said shut up! you hear me now?”
I nodded , wiping away tears trying my hardest to make eye contact with her without crying.
“Go upstairs and stay there until work! no school for you today.” I quickly ran upstairs ,threw myself on the bed, and cried. I jumped slightly , when I heard a muffled meow. I moved over and let Tubby move out from under me. He walked closer to me though , and laid down by my side. I snuggled into him.

“Oh..Tubby what are we gonna do?...”