Easy to Fall in Love

Austin and Hunter never stopped talking, but I was half-listening at best. In that short amount of revealing time, Justin and I formed a bond. One that's only forged when you share personal, sometimes embarrassing, and a lot of the time painful information. I mean, what I said wasn't bad. I told other people about it. But he got it on a different level. My family saw it as a delay, a roadblock, something I should just get over and done with. They thought it would make me happy for a while and then I could do something real with my life. Lila thought it was great, something I should be totally consumed with excitement for. Hunter didn't ask questions about it, because he got it enough to know I didn't want to over analyze it. He knew it was something I needed to figure out over time. Justin just knew. He didn't need to ask, guess, or resolve to let me be. He understood that I was scared to lose the possible happiness I could gain and said it straight out. No question, no denial; it was all pure fact.

"I have no idea where I'm going."

What Justin shared with me was more on the upsetting side. Most people don't share the intimate details of a girl you love ripping your heart out and smearing it on the pavement. And of course I had to go and blurt out my feelings to him. I could say I love him all day long to my friends and have it not mean a thing, but telling him face to face all my devotions isn't exactly right. We don't know each other, or he doesn't know me at least. Once I started talking I couldn't stop. It's like the words were spilling out of me like a god damned water fall.

"I think it's time we go to bed." I looked at Austin through the rear view, asleep on Justin's shoulder.

"Nah, we're still ready to party," Hunter yawned and tried to keep his eyes open. He put his hand on my knee and I patted it lightly.

"Aw sweetie. You're practically passed out." I took a sharp turn deciding where we were going.

I navigated the dimly lit streets to the motel. I pulled up and parked the truck. I opened the back door to help Justin get Austin out.

"Hunter will have to drive you back to the club to get your cars in the morning." We dragged Austin out of the car while Hunter went to fetch a key.

"Bad news," Hunter called from the doorway, "We're all booked up."

"How is that possible?" I asked. "Three days ago I was the only person here."

"That's the thing about 10 room motels, we're either full, or we're not."

"Come get Austin." I waved him over and he helped Justin lift him up a little more. Wow was he out cold. They were holding him awkwardly and he was limp like a doll. "Lay him on the bed in your room. We'll figure out the rest later." Justin and Hunter followed my orders and I opened the door to my room. I shuffled around and then collapsed on my bed. I rubbed my eyes and yawned. I heard a knock so I looked up and there was Justin standing by the door I'd left ajar.

"Hunter sent me in here." He pointed to a tiny sofa in the corner. "He said it pulls out."

"Oh. Yeah." Of course he did. "Where's Hunter sleeping?"

"He's taking the futon in his weird apartment room thing." He waved his hands around talking about Austin's suite in the very back.

I nodded and turned towards the dressers to grab some pajamas.

"I'm going to go change." I went into the bathroom and put on a pair of shorts and an over-sized sleep shirt. When I came out Justin was struggling to pull out the bed part. He was also wearing some of Hunters pajamas.

"You're a quick changer," I commented. I walked over and yanked hard on the frame, popping it out. I grabbed some blankets out of the closet and tossed a pillow to Justin.

"Thanks."

"Welcome." I stood there awkwardly. "Well...goodnight." I rubbed the back of my head then rolled into bed. I turned off the bedside lamp and pulled up my covers. I heard Justin rustle and shift. The frame creaked. I stared at the ceiling in the complete dark. The fuzzy shapes that you see when you close your eyes too hard danced across my eyes.

"Goodnight."

There was no way I could sleep. Justin Mark Richards was sleeping less then ten feet away from me.

"Are we going to talk about it or..."

"Well you know, pretending things don't happen is always good."

"I can't tell if you're joking or not."

I paused.

"Neither can I," I said thoughtfully.

"What you said about me...how you see me..."

"Forget it," I cut him off.

"I just want to say-"

"Look I know what I said was weird." I sat up and I saw his dark outline sitting up too. "I mean it's crazy, but it's true. I've had a crush on you, but it isn't serious. We all have our infatuations, so don't worry about it. I won't go all lovesick puppy dog on you."

"Are you saying it didn't mean anything?" His eyes glinted.

"Yes. It didn't mean anything." I choked the last part down.

"Okay then." He lay back down and I followed. He slept and I stared until I eventually followed.