Tomorrow Will Be Kinder

I laid the dress down on my bed and got changed into a loose grey shirt, that hung down low. My make up washed off and the small lights out of my hair, I sat down on the edge of the bed. My head spinning from today's events.

After the parade, everyone from the district 11 group went back to our apartments and had one of the biggest meals I've ever seen, let alone been aloud to eat. I even had my first glass of wine. I was just happy to make it threw the first day here.

My hands went up to play with my hair only to feel air. With all the excitement I forgot about this morning when it got cut. It feels so silly to be that upset over some locks of hair but I still feel a tinge of sadness just thinking about it.

I always had long hair, it was a big part of who I was back home. If I where to make it back home who would I be then? Before Abram left for the Capitol he was so full of spirt. He was known for being funny and lively but when he came back. He was hardened, his mood and sense of humor turned darker. Will the games do the same to me?

Abram. Why do my thoughts always drift back to him? I shook my head softly, feeling my curls hit my cheeks.

A small knock came from the door I bolted up and opened it. Expecting and hoping for him.

My smile widened as I saw Abram stand there. I was surprised to see him still in a suit, and his hair pulled back perfectly. Was he going somewhere?

"Liv." He said softly a small playful smile on his face.

"Abram, I- are we training tonight?" I asked quietly.

"No, Your off the hook tonight."

"Then why are you here, might I ask?"

His smile vanished and was replaced by a serious look.

"I think we need to talk about something. Mind of I come in?"

"Sure, come in." I say, stepping a side so he could walk in. I closed the door behind him. I sat down on my bed as I noticed he was pacing back and forth in front of me.

"Is something wrong?" I asked. Worry clear in my voice.

"No...well, maybe. Possible something could be wrong, depends on how you take it."

"Take what? Abram, you make no sense."

"It's just I have to tell you something and I'm afraid your going to be mad at me."

"We'll never know until you tell me, will we? Please just sit down and tell me." I asked. Growing impatient. He sighed and sat down next to me, his elbows on his knees. "Now what is it that you need to tell me?"

"During my games last year, I thought about you. When things got bad you where the first thought that came to mind...and After I won I thought I could just come back home and be with you...but, president snow came and visited me. He told me that I needed to pay back my debt to the sponsors..." He shifted so he was facing me. He looked down at his hands and started playing with the lace to his shoe. "He wanted me to pay them back with sex. Whoever paid, I was supposed to have sex with. Otherwise he'd kill everyone that I love."

His cheeks were red and his eyes sad. He looked ashamed and completely opened, I've never seen him like this.

"That's why you kept your distance with me?" He gave me a small sad nod.

"Well, I tried but it was harder than I thought it would be."

It all made sense, the reason for distance in the past year. He wasn't ever ashamed of me...he was trying to protect me. Even though he was down with the Arena he was still playing the game. I felt sorry for him. But then I wondered what would happen to me. If they made Abram sell his body surely they'd ask the same of me. I'd imagine that the person whom gets to sleep with a victor for the first time gets a sense of honor...of privilege but I don't want someone from the Capitol to have that part of me.

I looked back at Abram, who was looking at me curiously. Making up my mind and feeling bold I grabbed his face and pulled him towards me. Connecting my lips to his, I kissed him like I never kissed him before a smile on my face. He coiled up in shock but slowly he placed his hands on my waist. Pulling me close, my arms wrapping around his neck, I lifted my self up, sitting on his lap with one leg on each side of him.

My hands awkwardly began unbuttoning his shirt when he pulled back. "Liv, stop." He said. My hands taking a mind of their own kept unbuttoning his shirt till it was all the way down. He grabbed my wrist, holding them to his chest. "Stop, stop. Liv, what are you doing?" He asked.

"I-I'm trying to have sex with you." I sad softly, heat rising on my cheeks. Our faces were close, we were breathing the same heavy air.

"Why?" He whispered.

"I don't want some Capitol scum to have my first. I want to give my virgnity to someone I chose. Someone I care about."

"Maybe, you should think this out. I don't want you to regret this." Abram says slowly.

"No! I know what I want, Abram and what I want is you. I don't need to think about it and I won't regret this." I say placing my hands on his cheeks. I kiss his nose "please?" I ask. I kiss his forehead. "Please?" I ask again. I kiss his eye lids, his temples, his chin and finally his lips. "Please?" I say. My eyes closed.

"Alright..." He whispers. Kissing me with force, he pulls my body close to his. His hands tracing every part of my body...