One Hundred Sleepless Nights

I groaned as the phone next to me blared out of control. I blindly patted my bedside table to find my phone, I shoved my phone under the covers when I saw Jessie’s name flashing on the screen, I’ll just let it go to voicemail to make her think I was still sleeping. My head was throbbing because of the sudden awakening and I swear I must have look like a psycho serial killer because of it. I hate waking up this early; cause it means that I have to deal with the real world, with real people and real problems. I also hate waking up this early because now I remembered the idiotic thing I did the night before.

Yesterday morning, I woke up at Cassie’s house with a million questions on my head. Why was I here? How did I get here? What did I do here? And a bunch of other questions that was burning my brain back then. I woke up to the smell of bacon, eggs and baked beans, the smell I’ve grown to get used to over the past year since Cassie and I became friends. I drank the coffee that was already made for me on the table, and then it hit me. I do remember. I remember what happened last night, what I did and what I said.

I told Cassie I love her.

When Cassie emerged from her room, I decided to act like I didn’t remember anything. I didn’t want anything to get awkward and weird so I pretend none of it happened. I acted all happy until Jessie came and picked me up, but just as I left the house, I couldn’t fake it anymore.

I buried my face into my palms, realizing that I might have just ruined everything with Cassie for good. I don’t know how I’m supposed to fix everything after what I did, I don’t even know if the whole situation can be salvaged. I heard R2-D2 beeping from under the covers, signaling me that I had an incoming text message. I grabbed it and I saw a text from Jessie, saying she was coming over today. I was kind of hoping that it would be a text from Cassie, but then again, why would she text me after what happened?

I threw my legs over the bed, rubbed my face and got up to go to the bathroom. I did my usual morning routine; I even put on a shirt this time and jogged down the stairs. I went passed the TV room and straight to the kitchen then I felt like my heart was in my throat. Was I hallucinating? Was I dreaming?

Cassie was there.

She was in her R2-D2 apron, her hair pulled back into a ponytail, making breakfast in the kitchen. The smell of chicken and pasta filled my nostrils as I stepped closer to the stove, where she stood.

“Good morning” I leaned onto the fridge.

She turned around in reflex, making her high ponytail bounce in effect. “Hi! Good morning, I made food!” She pointed with her spatula.

“I can see that… But why? I thought you’ve gotten busy now?”

“I just came back from the hospital for your mom’s monthly check up, I bet you forgot about that huh?” She smirked and pointed her spatula to my face.

I only smiled in response. “I miss you here, the house had gotten really quiet without you” I said quietly.

She paused for a second, looking down on the pan. “I miss you too Tone, and I’m here now so it’s good right?” She shot me a quick smile before transferring the food from the pan to a plate she had prepared.

“Go sit down, I’ll get some orange juice for you” She put the plate on my hands and pushed me out of the kitchen.

“But we’re out of orange juice” I raised my eyebrows.

“I know, I bought some after I came back from the hospital, you were also out of milk, and eggs… and bacon… basically you have no food in this house” she laughed as she poured me a glass of cold orange juice.

“Yeah, I haven’t had the chance to go shopping yet. Jessie’s… she’s not the kind who grocery shop” I said a bit embarrassed.

“Well, Cassie to the rescue!” She grabbed a plate of breakfast and a glass of orange juice then took a seat next to me in the dining room.

We ate our food in silence, but since I was really hungry it was a quick one. I put my plate in the sink once I finished and went back to the table.

“So what’s your plan for today?” I asked just to keep things from going awkward.

“I don’t know yet, I don’t really have anything to do today. You?” She took a bite of her chicken.

“Me neither, wanna do something fun?” I said without actually thinking, it just came out naturally.

“Like what?”

“We could go to our spot at the beach, it’s been a loooooooooong time since we’ve been there, besides, you need some sun” I smirked.

She smacked me playfully. “That sounds great actually, we’ll stop by my house so I can get changed yeah?” She pushed her plate away as she finished eating.

I nodded and grabbed her plate, put it in the sink and walked back to the table. “Wanna go now? I think my mom is napping around this time”

“Alright” She stood up and grabbed her bag from the couch as I ran upstairs to get changed. I put all the stuff I would need in a bag and ran downstairs to the living room with a big smile on my face. But as I reached the bottom step, my smile disappeared quickly.

“Hey baby, where are you going?” Jessie stepped in from the front door, carrying what looks like a beach bag.

“I.. Uh, I was going to go to the beach with Cassie” I put my bag on the floor, shot a look at Cassie who was staring at her feet next to Jessie.

“Didn’t you read my text? I told you I was coming over?” She furrowed her eyebrows. I mentally slapped myself for being such an idiot, I completely forgot about that.

“I must’ve missed it, I left it in the car” I lied.

“Well I had the same idea for us to go to the beach today, but Cassie can come with if you want?” Jessie smiled at Cassie who was looking really uncomfortable.

“Nah, it’s okay. I think I have some things to do at home anyway; you guys go ahead and have fun. I’m gonna get going” She smiled quickly at Jessie and gave me a look, then she went out the door.

Great, Tony. You fucked it up again.





“I didn’t know what to do so I just got out of there and drove here. I feel like such an idiot Ave” I couldn’t stop crying as I told what happened earlier to Avela.

After my conversation with Avela the other day, I decided that I’m just going to continue being the doting best friend who is always there for him and pretend like nothing ever happened, because in Tony’s mind, everything is just a-okay. He didn’t remember anything from that night and so I’m just going to act like nothing did happen that night.

“You should have seen the look on Jessie’s face, I feel like such a slut and she didn’t deserve that. I hate that she was so nice to me, if she was a bitch then I would have no problem living with what I did” I sobbed even more to Avela’s shoulder. Jaime left immediately when he opened the door and saw my face red and wet with tears, he understood that I just needed my sister.

“Shh, it’s going to be okay. I’m proud of you though, I know it must’ve been hard” She smiled weakly at me, like she felt sorry for what I’m going through.

“I just don’t know if I can do this anymore, Ave” I sighed, getting tired of bawling my eyes out.

“You’re going to have to, Cass. If you still want him in your life, you’re going to have to stick it out, hopefully by doing that he’ll realize how big of an idiot he has been all this time” She squeezed my hand.

So I did, I stuck it out for almost a week now and I can’t say that everything is back to normal, but it’s slowly getting there. I was hanging out with the guys and the girls again, although its hard watching Jessie and Tony together but at least I have my other girls.

We were having one of our gatherings at Jaime’s house; there were food, music and alcohol. Everybody was having a great time, and everybody was enjoying himself or herself. Vic and Jaime were playing pool, Mike and Tony were slaying zombies on the PS3, Avela, Rachel and Jessie were sitting in the backyard sipping cocktails, well… Ginger Ales for Avela. I was watching the boys playing the PS3, I didn’t think I could handle talking to Jessie so I decided to skip the whole girl talk thing and stick it out with the guys.

“I can’t be long, I have to go home and take care of Frenchi” Mike said when Tony was changing the game to FIFA.

“Why? What’s wrong with Frenchi?” I asked

“I don’t know, she wasn’t feeling that well so I told her to stay home” He shrugged and continued playing.

Since Frenchi and I were basically the same person, it’s always great to talk to her about problems that I have. She does this brutally honest thing whenever I ask for advice, I think that that is just what I need.

I got up from the couch and grabbed my keys from the counter. “Where are you going?” Mike paused the game and he and Tony looked at me confusedly.

“I’m going to your place. You can stay here as long as you want; I’m going to take care of your woman. Besides, I need to talk to her” I played with my keys in my hand.

“Alright, thanks!” He waved goodbye to me, but suddenly Tony stood up.

“Can I talk to you for a sec?” I was confused by what his intentions were but I nodded and we head to the kitchen.

“Look for last week, I’m really sorry for being such a dick” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“I told you it’s okay, you’ve apologized way too much Tony” I chuckled. No it’s not okay, but I’ve forgotten about it, or at least I tried to.

“Yeah, I just wanted to apologized in person. I’m really sorry, we’ll go sometime yeah?”

“Yeah sure, that’ll be great”

He opened his arms wide, asking for a hug, but just as I was about to step forward to hug him, Jessie walked into the kitchen.

“Hey you two, what are you guys doing in the kitchen?” She asked while getting a refill for her margarita.

“Just talking, I gotta go to Frenchi’s though, I’ll see you guys soon” I walked out of the kitchen as fast as I could and out of Jaime’s house.

I drove straight to Frenchi’s house and once I got there, I took the keys from under the doormat and let myself in. “French? Are you here?” I threw my bag onto the couch in the living room and made my way upstairs to her room.

“Frenchi?” I called out again.

I didn’t hear anything in response, I figured she must’ve been really sick so I opened the door to her room and gasped when I saw her sitting down on the floor by the bed with her head hung low and she was sobbing uncontrollably.

“Oh my God, Frenchi are you alright?” I rushed to her side and pulled her close to me.

She looked up to me and cried even louder. She looked awful. “What’s wrong? Did Mike do something? Cause if he did I’m going to kill him” She shook her head but kept crying.

I rubbed her back, trying to calm her down so she could tell me what was wrong. “Frenchi, tell me what’s wrong. Are you hurt? Do you need to get to the hospital?”

“No, just kill me instead” She muttered between sobs.

“Hey, don’t be like that. What’s wrong babygirl? Tell me” I looked her in the eye. She took something out from behind her and showed it to me.

I let her go and covered my mouth with both my hands.

“Frenchi… Are you pregnant?”