One Hundred Sleepless Nights

Have you ever feel like your head is about to blow up because there are just too many things to think about? If you have, then I feel your pain. Even though it’s really not my problem, I’m still freaking out and feeling a bit anxious about the whole Mike and Frenchi thing. It’s been 4 days since the clinic and 2 days since I last talk to Tony. That’s two things that I’m already freaking out about, plus the job offer to London. I’m seriously going to burst into pieces soon, I feel like I need to just get away from this whole mess.

I think I need a smoke.

I took my almost-empty Marlboro Black Menthol from my purse pocket; my lighter and I went down to the lobby. I had my phone in my jean pocket so if anybody was looking for me, I’ll be safe. I lit up the cancerous stick and inhaled a long one.

Exhale.

I miss the days where I would just go down to the beach with Tony to our spot and have a smoke. Talk about random, unimportant things just to let the time pass.

I leaned on the wall, just looking at people passing by. Mom’s and their babies in strollers, teenage couple walking around holding hands, best friends chatting away happily. In a way I envied them for looking happy and they look as if they have nothing to worry about in their lives, but then again, they could just be putting up a mask. Like I am.

I was snapped back from my thoughts by the vibrations in my pocket. I fished my cellphone and I saw Avela’s name blinking on the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Cass! You busy? I need to tell you something!” Avela sounded excited on the other end.

I was about to answer when I heard the phone shuffled and Jaime’s voice was heard on the line. “Gimme the phone!”

“Uh… Hello?”

“Cass! We have news! Can you be bothered for a while?” Jaime’s equally excited voice filled up the speaker.

“Yeah sure, what’s so interesting that you guys have to fight to talk to me?” I flicked the cigarette ash to the ground before taking another drag.

“It’s about loverboy” He paused. “So yesterday Tony invited Avela and I over for dinner, right. Everything was going great, there were music, games and all that fun stuff”

“Can you just get to the point? I don’t want to listen to your boring couple stories” I rolled my eyes even though Jaime clearly cannot see it.

“Shut up woman, let me finish. Okay, so Jessie was in charge of the food, obviously, while Avela, Tony and I were battling zombies in the living room. Then suddenly Jessie called out Tony’s name and like 5 minutes later, they were yelling and that yelling turns to screaming, which resulted in Jessie storming out of the house, slamming the door and nearly broke Mama Perry’s vase” Jaime explained it quick enough for him to be out of breath by the end of the story.

“No fucking way, are you serious?” I almost laughed as I stood up straight. “Then what happened?”

“Well I joined Tony in the kitchen. He looked so angry, I swear I’ve never seen him that upset before. I asked him what happened and all he said was ‘I’m done with that bitch, she’s fucking insane’”

I burst into laughter on the side of the road. “Oh my God, she went batshit crazy. Did he say why she was acting all insane?” I took one last drag out of my cigarette before throwing it onto the ground and putting it out.

“He said she was upset because Tony was busy with Avela and I playing games instead of helping her in the kitchen. She also said something about how Tony has changed and how he’s not the same anymore”

“Damn” I shook my head, still chuckling.

“Dude, you’re missing the point!” He chuckled in disbelief. “Tony is single now! It’s time to make your move”

I went quiet. I was stunned; I really didn’t realize that at all.

I heard Jaime’s laugh on the other end. “Now you’re getting it! Come on Cass, you have no more reason to be all ‘I don’t want to break them up’ and all that shit. I swear if you don’t start making your move I will cut you,”

“Shut up geez! You’re embarrassing me!” I can feel my face turning lobster red.

“Nobody is listening to our conversation you dipshit. Come on Cass!” I can actually picture Jaime fidgeting and smiling like an idiot on the phone.

“Alright Preciado relax! What do you want me to do? March up to him this exact moment? No. So calm your tits okay?!”

“Fine, but if you don’t do something I’m going to do something for you, and I cant guarantee that you will like it”

“Whatever, give the phone back to Avela you creep”

I heard Jaime laughed and faint conversation in the background. “Cass?”

“Yeah I’m here, did all of that actually happened?” I was making sure cause I was scared that Jaime was only playing around with me.

“Yep, every word was true. He forgot to mention one thing though…” She paused, which I figured only for a dramatic effect.

“Which was?”

“He wanted to call you straight after the fight, but Jaime advised against it to prevent him making a fool of himself to you”

“He wanted to call me?” I asked in disbelief.

“Yup, now not to sound like Jaime… But make a move, or else” We both laughed.

“Alright, alright. I’ll talk to you later ‘kay Ave, I gotta get back to work”

“Okay, bye”

“Bye”

I pressed the red button on my phone and stayed still for a few more seconds. After the conversation I had with Tony two days ago, I was beginning to regret what I did by giving him an ultimatum like that.

But I guess he did decide.



Macklemore’s ‘Can’t Hold Us’ was blaring out my speakers as I drove home from work. I stopped by Starbucks on the way to get some tuna Panini and my favorite Caramel Frappucino because I was just too lazy to cook for dinner. I took a left turn towards my apartment complex and as I parked my car, I saw a familiar figure sitting on the steps of the stairs.

I gathered all my belongings and got out of the car, soon to be greeted with the cold November air. I walked towards the stairs and I felt my heart drop.

“Frenchi?” I called out.

“Hey Cass” She stood up.

“What are you doing here? Are you okay? Did something happen with Mike?” I blurted every question that popped into my head as I rushed toward her, grabbing her by the shoulders.

Frenchi smiled and shook her head. “No! No, I’m fine. Can we talk?”

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s get inside, it’s cold out here”

We both walked up to my floor and got settled inside my apartment. Frenchi took a seat on the couch and I took a seat opposite her.

“What is it? What’s wrong? I swear if Mike did something to you, I’m going to kick his butt so hard he’s going to need walking sticks for the rest of his life”

Frenchi took my arm. “Everything is fine Cass, as a matter of fact… I told Mike about the baby last night and he was actually excited about it” She grinned widely.

“What?” I asked excitedly, dragging out the ‘a’. “No way! Oh my God congratulations French! Okay this is happening!” I jumped excitedly on the couch, hugging Frenchi, then squealing, and then went to hug her again.

“So how did everything go? How did you break the news to Mike?” I asked once I’ve calmed down.

“Well, I was thinking about how to say it to Mike since the moment you drove me home from the clinic but I just cant find the right words to say it. So yesterday I was waiting for Mike to come home from Vic’s right, I was standing in the mirror with my shirt up my boobs. I was looking at my puffed up stomach when he walked in” She paused to take a breath.

“Did he saw the bump?”

“No. Well yeah but he didn’t catch that I was pregnant. He called me fat though” She huffed.

“That asshole” I chuckled and followed by Frenchi. “So how did he find out that you were pregnant?”

“Well it was a couple hours after that happened…”

”Can you change the channel? I don’t want to watch football all night, Mike” said Frenchi who was lying in bed with a tub of Vanilla ice cream.

“No, and can you please stop eating sweets in bed? I don’t want to have ants here because of your mess”

“You’re an ass”

“You’re a slob,” retorted Mike without looking at Frenchi.

“Whatever. Have fun watching alone. I’m going to sleep” She puts the tub of the empty Vanilla ice cream on the bedside table, pull out the comforter from under her and went to sleep.

Half an hour later she was waken up by Mike who was shaking her sides and calling her name. “French, wake up” He chuckled.

“What the fuck. What do you want? I’m tired!” She pulled away her hand from Mike’s grip and wanted to go back to sleep.

“You were talking in your sleep, were you dreaming abut me?” He cocked his eyebrows and smirked.

“What do you mean? What did I say?” Frenchi sat up, suddenly her sleepiness went away and the feeling of panic surged through her entire body.

“You were mumbling ‘baby’ over and over” He laughed, “and you were touching your body, well mainly your chest and stomach”

Frenchi was stunned and she was quiet. She felt like someone had ripped open her abdomen and squeezed her stomach from the inside. She felt queasy and she felt so scared of what she was about to do next.

“French? You okay?” Mike’s expression change when she saw Frenchi’s face.

She shook her head. “What’s wrong babe?” Mike brushed his fingers to the back of her hand.

She took Mike’s hand and placed it on her stomach. She looked up and smiled faintly. “Baby” she muttered slowly, but loud enough for Mike to hear.

“What?”

“Baby” She pressed Mike’s against her belly tighter.

Mike’s eyes looked like it were about to pop out of his head and his mouth was gaping open. He stared back and forth between Frenchi’s face and her belly, still trying to digest the whole thing.

“You… You’re pregnant?” He whispered mostly to himself.

Frenchi nodded and smiled, waiting for the response she was expecting from Mike. Then suddenly Mike pulled his hand harshly from Frenchi’s grip, stood up and left the bedroom, leaving Frenchi with a smile that was fading form her face. She heard the front door slammed and the car engine revving on the driveway, soon she was left with silence and tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes.

“Oh my God, HE LEFT?!” I screamed after listening to her story.

“Yeah, I cried myself to sleep and the next day I woke up Mike wasn’t there. So I assumed he left and want nothing to do with me”

“But you said it went alright? That sounded like shit to me!” I was half whispering – half shouting at Frenchi.

“Well yeah, after that I thought about going to your place and stay here until I can talk it out with Mike but just as I was about to go out, I heard someone cleared their throat behind me and when I turned around, Mike was standing there with a tray of breakfast and a shirt that said ‘#1 Daddy’ written with a Sharpie” Frenchi smiled widely, a sincere smile that would actually brought tears to my face.

Frenchi looked extremely happy, like I have never seen someone looked this happy in a long long time and seeing her smile like that, full of life and love, makes me think that I actually have a chance of being happy like she is.

“Oh my God… You know I’ve probably said ‘oh my God’ like a thousand times by now but oh my God! Awh! I’m so happy for you French, really, I’m so happy for you two and I’m really excited for… THIS!” I made a gesture towards her stomach, we both laughed and hugged again for the hundredth time.

“Thanks Cass, you know… I would never have been able to do this if it weren’t for you, you made me stronger and you made me realize what an amazing gift this baby is” she was smiling with tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

I automatically reached forward and gave her a big, tight hug. “Hey, I would do anything for my main bitch. Just like I know you would the same thing for me” I smiled and squeezed her shoulders.

“Dude, I would kill for you, you know that right?”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m scared of” We both erupted into a fit of laughter.

“Oh one more thing, tomorrow we’re having this barbeque to announce me being preggo, be there yeah?” said Frenchi once we finally stopped laughing.

“Sure! Of course, wouldn’t miss it for the world”

“Aaaaand… Tony is going to be there” she winked at me and raised her eyebrows, which resulting in me slapping her in the arm.

“Stop it, don’t make me hurt you,” I playfully threatened her.

Even though I was blushing madly, it got me to think… Tony is single now; I guess it wouldn’t hurt if I make a move on him?