How to Love

Jake and I spent the next week and a half practically attached at the hip. When we weren’t working together or doing psychology homework, we were out at dinner or hanging out with Matt and Liz. On the rare occasions we weren’t together, I hung out with Michelle a few times or spent time with my dad, usually just watching TV. The Wednesday night right before my birthday, Dad felt the need to comment on all the time I was spending with Jake.

“So you and Jake are together a lot,” he said as he absent-mindedly reached for the remote to change the channel. “It seems like you’re getting pretty serious.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I wasn’t sure what else to say to that. It was obvious that we were, but we hadn’t further discussed the status of our relationship. We were content with it the way that it was. “Why?”

“Well, I was just gonna tell you to be careful,” Dad remarked as nonchalantly as possible. “And just pay attention to school and work.”

“I don’t know if you noticed or not, but Jake and I worked on our take-home tests for psych for probably a good two and a half hours last night,” I scoffed. “Plus I revised his English paper, and he did my econ homework.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re keeping up with your studies,” Dad nodded. Then he paused like he was reflecting on what I’d just said. “Wait, what do you mean he did your economics homework?”

“I don’t know what the hell is going on in that class,” I shrugged. “Alexander won’t help me, and I’ve given up on reading the book. It’s no help.”

“What are you going to do when you have to take a test then?” he asked, clearly at least a little irritated.

“Well, it’s all online, so he’s not going to know if I Google everything or not,” I dismissed him. “I just want to pass the stupid class. I shouldn’t have tried to take it online. It’s confusing.”

“Whatever.” Dad rolled his eyes. “I guess as long as you pass, I don’t really care. Anyway, is Jake coming to your birthday dinner on Friday or not?”

“No,” I answered. “I honestly forgot about it. I think he has plans with one of his friends that night anyway, so I’d say that’s out.”

“How do you forget about your birthday dinner?” Dad asked, giving me a look like he didn’t even know me. “We’ve only done it for the last seventeen years.”

“Technically, I only remember like thirteen or so of those,” I corrected, though I knew it was pointless. “It just slipped my mind, that’s all.”

“You haven’t told me anything about what you wanted either,” he said. “It’s your eighteenth birthday, we should do something cool. Like nicer than a dinner at home.”

“You just don’t wanna cook,” I scoffed, and Dad laughed in agreement.

“Yeah, that’s partially true. But we can go wherever you want. I’ll make reservations.”

“I’m not thinking anything that fancy, good Lord,” I told him. “We can just go to that one Italian place. Santosussos, I think.”

“Well, it’s a Friday night,” Dad reasoned. “I’ll just make reservations. Aside from your brothers and Liz, do you want anyone else to come?”

“Not really,” I shook my head. I already had plans for later on Friday night anyway. Andrea had been promising to take me to Bounce, a gay club downtown, since I was fourteen or fifteen, and that was the night that I could finally get in, so there was no way I was passing that up. Plus once I’d told Michelle about the plan, she asked if she could come along, and said that in lieu of a birthday present, she’d hook me up with a fake ID so that I could get a few drinks while I was there. “I’m seeing Andrea and Michelle later.”

“That’s the first I’m hearing of this,” Dad semi-frowned.

“We were just gonna go to that one club Andrea’s always talking about,” I said, trying to ease him. This only made his expression harsher. “Relax. It’s a gay club. It’s the safest place in the world for me. Plus it’s not like I’m going by myself.” He seemed to calm down a little at that. “We were probably gonna get a hotel room at the Renaissance and spend the night. Michelle said it’s really nice.”

“They’re not going to hire male strippers or anything, correct?” Dad asked, looking slightly sick at the thought of that.

“Well, you know Andrea, so there’s no predicting what’s gonna happen,” I joked.

He frowned again. “Veronica.”

“Relax,” I said again. “I was kidding. Sheesh. Do you mind if I go?”

“No, I guess not,” Dad sighed. “Just be careful. Downtown’s not that safe, especially at night.”

“I took that self-defense class,” I reminded him. “I think I’ll be okay.”

“Just keep your guard up,” Dad said, “and text me where you’re going, and when you get there, and when you’re leaving.”

“Dad, I’m not fourteen anymore,” I complained, rolling my eyes. Some things he would never let go.

“Just humor me,” he insisted. “I don’t think it’s that unreasonable of a request. I just want to know that you got there safely. You’ll understand when you have kids someday.”

“All right,” I relented. “You might be getting some pretty late texts, though.”

“I don’t care,” Dad shrugged. “I’ll probably be up anyway.” He flipped through a few more TV channels before landing on some channel with a bra commercial. He watched it for a few seconds and then kept scrolling through the stations. “By the way, you never told me what you wanted for your birthday.”

“Because I don’t really want anything,” I told him. “I have a car, I have a laptop, I have a phone that works perfectly fine, and you’re paying for my classes, so don’t worry about it.”

“Please.” Dad rolled his eyes at me. “Matt’s twenty-three and I still get him something every year. There has to be something.”

“No, not really,” I said. “Maybe like a gift certificate to the bookstore, but other than that, I don’t need anything.”

“You’re ridiculously difficult to shop for,” he complained, leaning back and groaning in frustration. “You make Christmas and birthdays a nightmare.”

“Why do you think Alexander just buys me a mall gift card every year?” I asked. Alexander and I were never sure what to buy each other for birthdays, so he usually bought me a generic gift card for the mall, so I could use it at whichever store I wanted to and just buy something I’d actually use. I did the same thing for him, but usually with an Amazon card.

“Yeah, I’m beginning to understand that.” Dad stopped talking to me after that and turned his attention back to the TV. He got up a few minutes later and came back with a glass of wine, joking that I’d drive him to drink.

Thursday was fairly uneventful, as was Friday morning. After I’d mentioned my birthday dinner to Jake, he’d apologized about not being able to come since one of his friends from high school was in town, and Jake only saw him about once or twice a year and couldn’t cancel. He offered to meet up with Andrea, Michelle, and me when he was finished up with his friend since they’d be downtown anyway, so we agreed to that so that we could at least spend a little of my birthday together.

Friday night, my dad and I drove over to Santosussos and met Alexander, Matt, and Liz there. The dinner was nice, though Liz had an immediate hatred for the waitress since she kept forgetting everything Liz ordered. Every time the waitress would walk away, Liz would make some irritated remark to me, causing me laugh obnoxiously. After dinner, we all went back to the funeral home so that they could give me their gifts. It was better that we did that since I would have felt weird opening my dad’s gift at the restaurant, considering that he’d enclosed about five hundred dollars in an envelope for me. He told me he’d like to see me save it for school in the future, but I could do what I wanted to with it. Matt bought me a Blu-Ray player with a wireless adaptor and took it open himself to subscribe me to Netflix, and then Alexander wished me luck with ever getting any sleep again. Alexander gave me his usual mall gift card, which was for about two hundred dollars. Liz bought me a shirt she thought I’d like and a necklace to go along with it. She also included a really nice note for me, telling me how happy she was that we were friends, and that she would do anything for me. I was really touched to read that, since the extent of Liz’s affection usually reached no further than, “You’re a dork.”

My dad insisted on going through the usual cake and ice cream routine, though Matt complained that my cake was not Fun-fetti flavored, nor was it baked in a boob mold. Liz, who had been kind enough to bake my cake, reminded him that it was not his fucking birthday, and we’d just had Fun-fetti boob cake for his birthday two months ago. After dessert, Matt decided to go hook my Blu-Ray player up and set up Netflix for me to watch when I got back from the adventures I had planned for the evening. I invited Liz, though she declined due to fatigue, and when I asked Alexander, he also refused my invitation since he didn’t want to get hit on. My dad told him that he was flattering himself.

Andrea picked me up and we headed downtown. She apologized to me for the virgin comments from Alexander’s party, though I told her I’d let that go. We spent the car ride laughing and joking around, and it felt like the times before Lydia or Kai had even happened.

When we finally got to Bounce, we met Michelle outside around the corner so that she could provide me with my fake ID. It looked extremely legitimate, and the bouncer didn’t question it as we went inside. I barely got a decent look at the club before Andrea and Michelle whisked me away to the bar and Andrea ordered me a glass of wine. I’d decided early on that I wasn’t going to drink a whole lot, but that quickly went out the window once we started dancing and I realized how easy it was for me to purchase alcohol on my own. About six or seven drinks later, it was starting to get late and the selection of interesting people was beginning to dwindle, so we decided to go to the hotel and check in. I texted my dad regarding where we were, and then I noticed that I had a text from Jake asking where we were.

I replied with, “Just got to the hotel.” I included our room number at the end. A few seconds later he texted me back.

“Are you drunk?”

I told him no, and then he called me. “I can’t understand what the hell you’re trying to say in any of these messages. Are you at the hotel?”

“Yeah,” I confirmed. “What aren’t you understanding about my messages?”

“Read the last couple you sent me,” he chuckled. “Then tell me if they make any sense.”

I scrolled back to my messages, and instead of writing, “Just got to the hotel. We’re in room 245,” I’d written, “Jidt gpt tooo tyeh hioitel.” In response to Jake asking if I was drunk, I’d typed, “Nooooooooop.” If the ones I’d been sending my dad all night were like that, I would either have a lot of explaining to do tomorrow, or he was laughing hysterically. “Well, you can kind of tell what they mean if you really look.”

“I’d need to get on your level for that to happen,” Jake said.

“Is that my brother?” Michelle asked, and then put her head next to my phone. “Tell him to pick up more wine if he’s coming over here because we’re running low.”

“And some Smirnoff!” Andrea added. She was sitting on one of the beds bouncing around. “This bed is awesome.”

“Did you get all that?” I asked Jake when Michelle went to join Andrea.

“Yeah,” Jake said. “If I get to the store before one, I’ll see if I can find it. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be up.”

We said good-bye, and then I joined Michelle and Andrea. Without consistent alcohol, I was starting to sober up a bit, and I could finally talk without feeling like my tongue was heavy, and the room was no longer spinny. We took the room service menu and started flipping through it. It was sadly too late to order from it, so Michelle and Andrea decided to call and order one from some local pizza store. There weren’t that many that were open past midnight, but they finally found one and put an order in.

Jake got there about twenty minutes later and Michelle let him in, immediately taking the grocery bags of alcohol. “Thank you very much.”

“Sure,” Jake said, looking kind of surprised that she’d grabbed them so quickly. “Doesn’t seem like you need any more though, Michelle.”

“You know me and my wine,” she said, waving him off. “I got that wine tattoo for a reason.”

“Yeah, you were drunk,” Jake countered, shaking his head and chuckling. It was silent for a moment, and they seemed to exchange a quick look.

“Oh,” Michelle said and then grabbed Andrea’s hand. “We have to go wait in the lobby for the pizza.” She grabbed the ice bucket as well. “And get ice to chill the wine.” They gave us awkward little waves and then headed out the door, trying to be careful not to slam the door in their hurry, but did so anyway.

Jake and I watched them leave, and when the door shut, he turned back to me. “So happy birthday.”

“Thank you,” I said, and he crossed over to kiss the top of my head.

“Did you get anything good?” he asked.

We spent the next few minutes talking, and he let me detail the gifts I’d gotten from my family and Liz, and then I let him tell me about his night out with his friend. While we were talking, we ended up sitting on the nicer of the two beds, since that was the one we hadn’t been goofing around on before Jake arrived. When Jake was done telling me about catching up with his friend, we sat there kind of awkwardly for a moment, which was unusual. We hadn’t had an awkward moment between us in weeks.

Sensing this, he cleared his throat. “So despite missing almost all of your birthday, I did actually get you something.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” I told him, though I was kind of anxious to see what it was.

“I figured you’d say that, but I wanted to anyway.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. It was larger than a ring box, so that ruled out any suspicion I had about it, but it was still clearly for jewelry. He slid it over onto my lap. “Open it.”

I did, and opening the box revealed a heart shaped necklace with a delicate gold chain. The heart was encrusted what looked like diamonds and rubies. I was speechless. It looked ridiculously expensive and I’d never had anyone get me anything like that before. “This is beautiful. Thank you so much.” I examined the necklace a little closer. “Are these real?”

“Yeah,” Jake nodded. “There are three things in this world that I don’t skimp on. Jewelry’s one of them.” He motioned to the necklace. “Do you want me to put it on for you?”

“I’m kind of scared to put it on,” I admitted, laughing a little. “The chain’s so small.”

“It’s actually really strong,” he said. “I asked about that when I bought it. That was one of the things I was concerned about, but they assured me it would take quite a bit to break it. And if it does, I bought a warranty for it, so they’ll fix it at any time.” I handed him the box and he pulled the necklace out. I turned and moved my hair aside so that he could see, and then he tightened the necklace clasp, kissing my shoulder before I let my hair down. “Also, the chain’s real gold. Liz told me your skin turns green if something’s not pure silver or gold.”

I chuckled, slightly embarrassed. “That was a really beautiful moment until you said that.”

He laughed too. “Sorry. I just wanted to tell you so that you wouldn’t worry about it.”

“When the hell did you talk to Liz about that anyway?” I asked him.

“She wanted to meet me yesterday for coffee or something, and then when I showed up, she gave me this black book she wrote about you,” he replied, and then added quickly, “Don’t worry, it’s all nice stuff. It’s basically like a manual of how you think, and what to do in certain situations.”

“So she gave you a cheat sheet,” I said. “Hm. I thought she was kidding when she told me she was going to do that.”

“Evidently not,” he said good-naturedly. “So I have two questions for you. How drunk are you right now?”

“Not very,” I answered. “I’m pretty confident that I’d be able to send you a mostly grammatically correct text right now. I’m a little buzzed, but that’s it.”

“Okay,” he nodded. “I can you ask you my next question then.” He took kind of a deep breath, like he was nervous or preparing for a speech. “I don’t know how to introduce you to people. I can’t say you’re my friend, because we’re more than that, but I also can’t say you’re my girlfriend, because that would be presumptuous of me to do without asking you. But also I really like hanging out with you, and it’s easy, and I don’t want to be with anyone else. So the point is, do you want to be my girlfriend?”

I bit my lip lightly to try to keep from smiling too much. “Yes. Definitely.”

He pulled me to him, kissing me. “Thank God. I’ve been worrying about that literally all week.”

“Why, did you think I’d say no?” I asked him, still pretty much sitting in his lap, though it was more like kneeling with the way we were positioned.

“Yeah,” he said with a nod. “You’re the one that said you didn’t want to label things.”

“Not that quickly anyway,” I corrected him. “I wasn’t sure exactly how I felt. I just knew I liked you more than I’d intended to.”

“And now?” he questioned, locking eyes with me. Goddamnit, they were green.

I kissed him in response, and not lightly. “I said yes, didn’t I?”

We kissed some more, and as we laid down and things started to get more heated between us, Andrea and Michelle came back in the room, causing Jake and I to jump apart.

“And the human cock-blocks return…” Jake muttered, making me giggle.

“So by the guilty looks on your faces, I’m guessing she said yes?” Michelle inquired, grinning mischievously. We both nodded, and Andrea and Michelle exchanged excited glances. “Well, you two have fun. Andrea and I just came back to grab the Smirnoff.”

“Where are you going?” I asked. “I thought we were all celebrating.”

“We already celebrated,” Andrea said.

“Also, there are these really hot guys having a party up the hall, and they invited us to hang out,” Michelle added. She grabbed the Smirnoff and one of the bottles of wine, shoving them in her purse. “We figured we’d take them up on their offer so you two could get some alone time.” She winked and started to walk out. “See you in the morning!”

Andrea started to follow Michelle out and then stopped, reaching in her wallet for something. “Ah, here it is.” She threw something at the bed, though it missed. “Happy birthday!” She quickly exited after Michelle, leaving Jake and me alone again.

Jake bent down and started laughing as he picked up what Andrea threw at us.

“What’s so funny?” I asked. He showed me what she’d tossed at us, revealing a condom packet. I chuckled with him, rolling my eyes. “Gotta love Andrea.”