Never Stop Believing

“Jimmy, she’s not in the airport.”

“So, where is she, Jason? WHERE IS SHE?” – Jimmy grabbed my sweater and started to yell with me. I was able to see the desperate in his eyes and it really made me believe how much he still love her. I was speechless looking at him. I couldn’t say a word in that moment. I never ever saw Jimmy like that and he was really scaring me. He dropped my sweater, pushing me back while Brian tried to calm down him. Jimmy turned to the front again grabbing the seat where my brother was sitting, leaning his head on it. – “Matt, stop the fuckin’ car!”

“I will, Jimmy. But try to calm down, okay?” – My brother said and Jimmy turned to look at me again.

“Jason, please man. Tell me where is she?”

“Jesus, Jimmy. Forget her! If you were important to her, she was here with you right now.” – Brian said and I think it was the worst thing he ever said to Jimmy. Jimmy was leaned on the seat looking at me waiting an answer and apparently he was calmer but when Brian said that, he jumped from the seat and if I didn’t grab him, I swear Jimmy had hit in Brian.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, BRIAN! You never, EVER, will say that again, are you fucking hear me?”

“Look at you, Jimmy! Look for what she is doing to you! Who is she, Jimmy? Tell me, who is this fuckin’ girl?”

“Listen, Brian. I swear for God if you don’t shut up, I’ll break your nose, man. I’ll fucking kill you!”

“Brian, stop with it. Everybody knows Violet is important to Jimmy. We don’t know why but we have to respect her. Stop with that shit, okay?” – Zacky said looking back to Brian.

“You know what? I don’t care. I really don’t care. Listen, Jimmy. You know I love you as a brother and I don’t wanna see you hurt. Then, don’t tell me that I didn’t advice you.” – Brian said looking at Jimmy. Jimmy got up of the car and leaned in the back of the car. I got up too and walked towards him, putting my hand on his shoulder.

“She’s in UCLA.”

“The University?”

“Yeah. We can go there, if you want?”

“I have to see her. I need to see her!” – Jimmy said to me with a huge smile on his face. He came back to the car jumping with happiness and told my brother to go to the University where Violet was. I came back to the car too and we started the trip.

Once we were already there, Jimmy left the car and started running towards the main door of the University while he was grabbing some girls to see if any of them was Violet. We ran behind him trying to calm him down. We just stopped when he found the security. He asked him where he could find a student there and the security told us to go to the reception. We ran one more time coming into the building. There was a counter with a young guy behind to give us information.

“Good morning, can I help you?”

“Yes, I wanna know how I can find a student that came today here from London. Her name is Violet Prescott.”

“I’m sorry but I cannot give you information about the students mainly about the students who come from another country.”

“Please! I’m begging you. I need to know where she is.”

“I understand but as you know this is USA. I cannot give you this kind of information.”

“Listen, this is a urgency.”

“Are you of her family?”

“No, I’m a friend of her. A close friend.”

“I’m so sorry but I cannot give you any information of her. Neither of her neither of any student of this University.” – Jimmy looked back at us and we knew he would do something bad. Something really, really bad. He turned to look to the guy again and suddenly he jumped through the counter and grabbed the jacket of the guy, approaching the guy from him.

“I told you this is an urgency! I’m sick to hear you saying you can’t give me that kind of information, so you will put your fuckin’ hands in this computer and you’ll tell me where Violet is. ARE YOU HEAR ME?”

“SECURITY!” – We looked back and two guys of the security were running towards us. We just have time to push Jimmy with us and ran to the car like crazy people. Arriving there, we leaned ourselves in the car gasping for breath.

“I can’t be-lieve I’m so… near of… her and… I can’t be wi-th her.” – Jimmy said with some difficulties to speak. Zacky put his hand on his shoulder and gave him a bottle with water.

“I’m sure you’ll find her, Rev.”

“I just need to know the true… just the fuckin’ true.” – we came into the car and went back home.

*** Jimmy’s POV ***

‘October, 26th 2005.

Dear Vi,

Where are you, princess? Where are you?
Why did you leave me? You promised you’d never leave me. I thought what we had, was important for both of us. I thought I would have you with me till the rest of my life even if you were in London or anywhere.
Sometimes I thought something really bad happened with you but if something had happened with you, I’m sure your family would tell me.
Now I discovered you’re here, in USA, in LA.
Why didn’t you tell me? Why, Vi? Why?
Why am I still writing you words that you never will read?
Why did you give up?
Did you forget our story?
Did you forget that we gave us to each other forever?
Did you forget me? DID YOU FORGET ME?
You have no idea how much it hurts. You have no idea how much I miss you and need you. You have no idea I’m dying. I’m really dying and you don’t care with it.
Come back. Come back for me, Vi.
Come back to the days when we were young
Come back to the days when nothing mattered.

I still love you. I will love you forever.

Jimmy Sullivan.’

I don’t understand why Vi stopped to write me. I just can’t understand. What we had was so strong. She was the only one who made me believe in love. She was the one. She’s still being the one. I think I fell in love with her in the moment I made her cry when we first met. I fell in love for a strong and determinate girl. A curious, beautiful and smart girl. Nobody knows me so well as her. She knows all my secrets, all my passions, all my follies… she knows everything. She was the girl I chose to lose my virginity. And I can’t forget every detail of her body, her kisses, her touch, her skin, her words, her whispers, her purity, her eyes, her sensuality…
The last letter I sent her was telling her that I was moving to other house. She never wrote me again. I went every single day to the mailbox to see if some letter of her was there but I just found letters to my parents or sisters. I also went to my last house to check if she sent a letter to there but apparently, nothing. I talked with the guy who bought the house and he just said me that he never saw a letter of Violet. I confess that I still have doubts about that. He was very weird and he didn’t like me because I broke all the glasses of the windows to scare him but… he saw me and since that day, he tried to not talk with me more than five seconds.

When Jason told me he was with Vi, I just thought he was making fun of me. It wasn’t the first time it happened. Every time the guys saw me with a letter with my hand, they made fun of me saying they saw her in the supermarket or in the middle of the audience in our shows. I was sick of that and this really pisses me off. But when I understood Jason was talking serious, I felt my heart beating faster and faster and I almost had a heart attack. I just wanted to know where Vi was. I just wanted to see her even I didn’t talk to her.
She’s very important to me and to have her so near but at the same time so far, kills me bit by bit.

In the next days, I tried to find her. I went to the faculty and I talked with some people to know if any of them knows something about my girl until I met Jessica. Jessica was a student and also a fan of mine. She didn’t know anything about Vi but she was offering her body to me and I couldn’t refuse even I’m always thinking in Violet.

She took me to her bedroom. I started to dress her as quickly as possible. I was there just to have sex. She took my clothes off too and left me to the bed. She leaned on it and I leaned myself over her. She started to kiss my mouth, my neck, my chest and I began to remember every moment I had with Violet. I looked at the girl who was in front of me and I imagined she was Vi. My hand travelled to her face and my fingers slid to her lips and then I kissed her with some passion. I closed my eyes and saw Violet one more time. I felt Jessica taking my sensitive member and she took it inside of her. I couldn’t help but I was suffering with that entire movie” in my head. I felt myself losing my mind for some moments.

“Oh, Violet… I miss you so much…” – I said whispering. Jessica didn’t say a word. She didn’t care. She was there just to have sex with Jimmy, The Rev. I opened my eyes and when I woke up to the reality and saw that I was with Jessica and not with the woman of my dreams, I just got up of the bed, dressed myself again and ran away. I just couldn’t do it. I just can’t forget Violet.

*** Violet’s POV ***

I came to the residence hall and there was a young girl, with some papers in her hands. Possibly she was a student who was doing volunteer work to help new students to orient themselves in the early days. She approached me, smiled and asked me my name. I answered her and she looked at me earnestly.

“Are you here to do a Research Masters?”

“Yeah. I’m from Lon-“

“London, I know! Tonight, the students of your department will do a dinner to welcome the new students. You should go.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I’m very tired. Maybe another time.”

“You should go, Violet. Well, your room is the number… let me see… 316. Your roommate is already there. Good luck!”

“Thank you!” – I took the keys that she gave me and went upstairs to search my new bedroom. I crossed myself with other students. The most of them seemed pretty cool. The others... Well, they disgusted me: Clueless and football players with the craze that they can 'eat' the chicks they want!

I was with some problems to walk because my bags were very heavy and full of things. I put down my bags and leaned myself on the wall to rest a bit. I seized the opportunity to send a message to my mom to tell her everything was okay with me and to give a kiss to Phil and Barbara. I was writing the text when a very pretty guy approached me. He was blonde and had very beautiful blue eyes. I looked at him in the eyes and I felt my body coming back in time and for a few seconds it seemed that that boy was Jimmy. I shook my head to come back to reality and he was looking at me trying to find my gaze.

“Hi! Do you need help?”

“Oh, yeah! They are quite heavy and I no longer feel my arms.”

“I figured it out. I’m Keram!”

“I’m Violet. Nice to meet you.” – Keram looked at me with a sexy look. For some moment I thought he was trying to seduce me and I wasn’t wrong. He took my heavy and big bag and I took my shoulder’s one. He asked me for the number of my room and for our surprise my room was the one in front of his one.

“Well, it’s seems we’ll be neighbors.” – He said putting my bag on the ground. We were arriving to the bedroom.

“Yeah, it’s true! Thank you for everything. Maybe if wasn’t you, I was trying to walk yet!”

“Don’t be silly. I’m here for what you want. All you need to do is: call me and knock my door.”

“Thank you. See you around!” – I turned my back to him to open the door but he grabbed my hand and made me look back to him.

“Wait! Do you go to the welcome dinner tonight?”

“I don’t know… I’m very tired. I passed more than 10 hours in a plane. I don’t think I’ll be able to go to a party!”

“Okay…” – he did a pause in his speechless and looked to his feet like he was thinking. – “Do you want to dinner with me tonight? I’ll take you to a calm restaurant near the university. Something simple. I’d like to know you better.”

“I’m sorry, Keram. I’m really, really tired. Maybe another time.”

“Promise?”

“Maybe another time!” – I said and turned my back to him and came into my new bedroom. I closed the door and took a deep breath. I was feeling a little uncomfortable there having that kind of conversation with another boy. The truth is Jimmy was the only guy in my life. Since he left me, I never had another person in my life. I waited for him my entire life and in the bottom of my heart, I think I’m still waiting for him. It’s like something in my mind tell me to wait. Well, I was in LA. He lived in Huntington Beach. Maybe I can find him here. Maybe in the different way I hope to find him but… I don’t know. Honestly, I have no idea what to think about him.

I turned my back to the door and I saw a young girl, maybe with my age, sitting in the bed, leaned her back on the wall, looking at me.

“Hi! You should be Violet!”

“Yeah! I’m your new roommate. And you are?”

“I’m Bea. Bea Jackson. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too.” – She got up of the bed and approached me, giving me a hug. For the first sign, I liked her. She was a simple girl like me and looking at her, she liked Rock as me. She had a t-shirt of Ramones. I confess that t-shirt made me feel happy.

“I hope you don’t mind. I chose that bed because I don’t like to wake up with the sunlight in my face so… if you don’t mind you stay with the bed near the window.”

“Oh, perfect! I love wake up with the sunlight in my face!” – I said and she laughed. I looked at her and smile too. – “I’m talking serious. You’ll see!”

“Okay, if you say that… listen, do you wanna help to put in order your stuff? I’m here dying since yesterday. I need to do something helpful.”

“Thanks! I’m so fuckin’ tired. I really need a hand to help me.”

“Well, I have two!” – We both laughed. It was a good beginning with my roommate. I really liked her and it seemed she liked me two. She helped me with my stuff and after we tidy all my shit, we felt down on my bed like we were dying.

“Oh God, I’m dead! What time is it?” – I said. Bea took his phone and saw the time.

“3pm!”

“What? Really? Gosh!”

“It was good, you know? We have a great time even we spend these hours tidy your stuff.”

“It was a great beginning!”

“…For a good friendship?” – She said looking at me with a smile on her face. Well, I didn’t know her and I thought that question a little weird but… I didn’t care. I really thought we would be big friends.

“Yeah… a great beginning for a good friendship!”

“I liked you. I imagined my roommate a clueless with graze she was better than me and that stuff but… I think you’re pretty cool, you know? I don’t know you already but… I think I’ll love to know you better.”

“Thanks Bea! I have to confess I think the same. Talk me about you!”

“Well, I came from Toronto. I’m Canadian. I was studying Fine Arts there and I came here to do an investigation… maybe you’re here for the same reasons! I noticed your accent is different.”

“Yeah, it’s true. I spend all my life travelling. My dad was always travelling and made my mom, my brother and I travel with him. I lived in Lisbon, Madrid, Ibiza, Paris, Frankfurt, Brazil and my last stop was London. My parents got the divorce and… I was living in London with my mom, brother and young sister.”

“Oh, you mom found another person…”

“No. when my parents got the divorce, my mom found out she was two months pregnant!”

“Oh God! Really? I’m sorry, it’s not my business…”

“No problem! I love my sister and it was a big help to us to not become sad.”

“Where are you father right now?”

“Toronto!”

“Really? When will you visit him? We can go together on the plane!”

“Yeah! It’s a good idea. Maybe in the Easter.”

“Cool! Listen, do you go to the dinner tonight?”

“No. I’ll be here relaxing a bit.”

“Oh, nice! I wasn’t going anyway. So, I’ll stay here with you.”

Bea and I spend the rest of the day talking about our course and about our music taste and stuff. We were already on bed and I took a heart-shaped black and red box under my bed and opened it. There were all the letters Jimmy wrote me. I was fighting against me to don’t read them but… it was stronger than me.
I took one of the letters and took it from the envelope. I unfolded it and looked at all those words before to stare at the name which signed the letter: Jimmy Sullivan.
Tears began to run over my face and I closed my eyes to try hiding them.

“Vi, what’s wrong? Do you need something?” – Bea asked. I didn’t answer and I was still with my eyes closed. She got up of her bed and walked towards me. She sat by my side and took my hand. – “Do you wanna talk? I know we don’t know us yet but… I don’t like to see you crying. Who wrote these letters?”

“I really appreciated your support but… I need to sleep… Good night!” – I took the letters inside of the box, closed it, put it under my bed and I lay down and turning my back to Bea. She gave me a kiss on my cheek and went back to her bed.
We didn’t talk about that in the next days. I mean, I never talked about the letters to her. It was my big mistake. I should tell her everything.

One day, I was preparing my stuff to start my investigation when Bea came into the room, running. Her breath was heavy and she was with some difficulties to control her breathe. I got up of my chair and walked towards her.

“Bea, you’re scaring me. What happened?”

“You won’t believe in it, Violet!”

“What are you talking about?”

“A guy is looking for you around the university.”

“What? A guy? I don’t know anyone here…” - I stopped my speech to think. I knew a person who could be looking for me. Jason. I don’t know him but he said he would find me if he reminded who I am. – “Wait! Jason?”

“Jason? No, you’re wrong in the name. James. James Sullivan. The amazing drummer of the band Avenged Sevenfold. The best drummer ever! Why didn’t you tell me you know him?” – I felt my heart stopping when I heard the name James Sullivan. I didn’t know what to do in that moment. I felt my body losing strong, my eyes were full of tears than began running faster along of my cheeks, my legs were weak and I felt my body fell on the floor. I was crying harder. Bea sat on the floor with me and hugged me without understand what was going on with me.

“Whe-where is he?”

“I don’t know, Vi. It was the guy of the front room, Keram, who told me. Everybody is talking about that.”

“How do you know Jimmy?”

“Vi, everybody who listen good music knows Jimmy, The Rev, Sullivan.”

“Are you say-saying me Jim-my is fa-mous?” – I asked, sobbing.

“Yeah, his band, Avenged Sevenfold, is very famous. Can you tell me what’s wrong, Vi? Why are you crying like this? Please, tell me. I can help you somehow.”

“I have to know more about his band. How can I contact with them?”

“Writing a letter, try to contact them on MySpace…”

“Do you know any Jason Berry?”

“Yeah. He’s the roudie of the band.”

“I can’t believe in this.”