Status: My grammar is really bad guys. I'm so sorry!
The Things We Wanted Most
hold on to what you believe - Mumford and Sons
When we pulled up to Tony's house I was in a relaxed state. I climbed out of the jeep and found my kegs were asleep. Mike noticed my limping state and wrapped his arms around my waist, allowing me to out my weight on him. Jaime and Vic walked straight into the house, and Mike and I closely followed.
"Hey man," I heard Ton'y voice greet. I kept my eyes on the floor, feeling self-conscious about how visible the purple hand print was on my face.
"It's good to see you again, Angela." Tony turned toward me. I could feel the nerves tumble around in my stomach. I quickly breathed out and looked up at him. I replied back to him quietly before shifting into Mike's left side. He put his arm around my shoulder, which gave me better access to hide into his chest. I didn't think about the fact that you could see my printed cheek. It was quite for a couple seconds before I felt calloused fingers brush across my cheek. I was surrounded my Mike's scent, so I couldn't tell if it was him or not. The touch was soft, like they didn't want to scare me.
I looked up at the lanky man, but found him staring past me. He looked like he was having a conversation with his eyes. When he nodded, I grabbed onto the wrist that the fingers belonged to, before following the wrist to the arm , and then to the chest, and then to the heavily tatted neck. I found Tony staring at me with a look I hadn't immediately recognized. And then it clicked. He knew. He knew about the bruise, about my dad. I could only guess how he knew.
"He knows." My attention quickly turning to Mike. I could feel the panic radiate off my body, as reality set in.
"He knows." I whispered louder, breaking away from Mikes hold. In the past two days and entire family had found out, and now him, who knows, Jaime could be next, I could feel their eyes on me as I backed myself into a wall. I could feel my throat start to close up as I thought of all the things my dad would do if he knew people know about what he did to me. My breathing became shallow, as I slid down the wall, holding my arms around my stomach. I didn't even realize I was crying until I felt someones fingers brush across my cheek.
"No, no, no, no, no, no." I whispered over and over again. I heard Mikes voice trying to comfort me, but I knew it wasn't working. My vision blurred, but I couldn't stop the panic from coming. With all the mixed voices coming through like echos, I heard Mike's the loudest.
"Angel, calm down. Jaime has experience with this. He's going to help okay?" I didn't respond to him, not being able to. My chest was tight, my brain freaking myself out.
Jaime's voice was filled with seriousness as he told the guys what to do. Something I had never heard before.
"I'm going to scoot you forward, and Mike is going to sit behind you Angela. Tony go get water. Vic help me keep her from rolling into a tight ball. Just try to calm her down."
I wasn't aware of anything. Just thoughts. I continuously saw visions of what my father would do to me.
"Angel, focus on Vic." Mike soothed into my ear. My hearing tuned into his voice as if I followed Mikey's every command.
"Tell me where our time went
And if it was time well spent
Just don't let me fall asleep
Feeling empty again
Cause I fear I might break
and I fear I can't take it
Tonight I'll lie awake feeling empty
I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you
I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you"
As he continued to sing the song, the sound of his voice pulled me out of my brain. I could feel my throat become less closed and I could finally breathe easily again. I began to actually feel again. Mike held me against against his chest with his arms wrapped around my stomach. He had his long legs folded about my legs, so I couldn't move them. My fingers were digging into his arms, my nails barely long enough to bite into his skin.
"Are you okay now love?" Jaime asked. I nodded, shrinking slowly against Mike's chest to get away from the crowd.
"Here's some water." Tony announced from my right. I took the bottle from him, relaxing my fingers on Mike's colorful arm.
"Let's go sit on the couches?" Mike whispered. He untangled himself from me and Jaime held out his hand for me to take. I hesitated.
"Go ahead, Angel." Mike murmured into my ear. I slowly lifter my arm and put my hand into Jaime's.
"Hey man," I heard Ton'y voice greet. I kept my eyes on the floor, feeling self-conscious about how visible the purple hand print was on my face.
"It's good to see you again, Angela." Tony turned toward me. I could feel the nerves tumble around in my stomach. I quickly breathed out and looked up at him. I replied back to him quietly before shifting into Mike's left side. He put his arm around my shoulder, which gave me better access to hide into his chest. I didn't think about the fact that you could see my printed cheek. It was quite for a couple seconds before I felt calloused fingers brush across my cheek. I was surrounded my Mike's scent, so I couldn't tell if it was him or not. The touch was soft, like they didn't want to scare me.
I looked up at the lanky man, but found him staring past me. He looked like he was having a conversation with his eyes. When he nodded, I grabbed onto the wrist that the fingers belonged to, before following the wrist to the arm , and then to the chest, and then to the heavily tatted neck. I found Tony staring at me with a look I hadn't immediately recognized. And then it clicked. He knew. He knew about the bruise, about my dad. I could only guess how he knew.
"He knows." My attention quickly turning to Mike. I could feel the panic radiate off my body, as reality set in.
"He knows." I whispered louder, breaking away from Mikes hold. In the past two days and entire family had found out, and now him, who knows, Jaime could be next, I could feel their eyes on me as I backed myself into a wall. I could feel my throat start to close up as I thought of all the things my dad would do if he knew people know about what he did to me. My breathing became shallow, as I slid down the wall, holding my arms around my stomach. I didn't even realize I was crying until I felt someones fingers brush across my cheek.
"No, no, no, no, no, no." I whispered over and over again. I heard Mikes voice trying to comfort me, but I knew it wasn't working. My vision blurred, but I couldn't stop the panic from coming. With all the mixed voices coming through like echos, I heard Mike's the loudest.
"Angel, calm down. Jaime has experience with this. He's going to help okay?" I didn't respond to him, not being able to. My chest was tight, my brain freaking myself out.
Jaime's voice was filled with seriousness as he told the guys what to do. Something I had never heard before.
"I'm going to scoot you forward, and Mike is going to sit behind you Angela. Tony go get water. Vic help me keep her from rolling into a tight ball. Just try to calm her down."
I wasn't aware of anything. Just thoughts. I continuously saw visions of what my father would do to me.
"Angel, focus on Vic." Mike soothed into my ear. My hearing tuned into his voice as if I followed Mikey's every command.
"Tell me where our time went
And if it was time well spent
Just don't let me fall asleep
Feeling empty again
Cause I fear I might break
and I fear I can't take it
Tonight I'll lie awake feeling empty
I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you
I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you"
As he continued to sing the song, the sound of his voice pulled me out of my brain. I could feel my throat become less closed and I could finally breathe easily again. I began to actually feel again. Mike held me against against his chest with his arms wrapped around my stomach. He had his long legs folded about my legs, so I couldn't move them. My fingers were digging into his arms, my nails barely long enough to bite into his skin.
"Are you okay now love?" Jaime asked. I nodded, shrinking slowly against Mike's chest to get away from the crowd.
"Here's some water." Tony announced from my right. I took the bottle from him, relaxing my fingers on Mike's colorful arm.
"Let's go sit on the couches?" Mike whispered. He untangled himself from me and Jaime held out his hand for me to take. I hesitated.
"Go ahead, Angel." Mike murmured into my ear. I slowly lifter my arm and put my hand into Jaime's.