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Surrender The Night
Surrender The Night
Gerard had woken up before me. I knew this because when I opened my eyes he was sitting in the chair quietly beside me, flitting a lead pencil over thick sketch paper. He noticed my awakening and smiled, carefully tucking the sketch away from my view. I reached for my water and took a few drinks, trying to warm my voice up enough to talk.
Gerard leaned close to me, almost as to give me a kiss but hesitated about an inch from my face. I placed my palm gently on his cheek and guided him home.
The kiss was as special as the last, it was quick, but sweet, and woke me up more than anything could. Gerard pulled away and buried his head into my neck, smiling at the skin there. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his shoulder, hoping to get him to climb onto the hospital bed with me. My plan was almost working, that is until Joan walked in.
The noise alerted Gerard and he jumped out of my reach, stepping away from my bed quickly. Joan didn't seem to notice our previous embrace. I glanced at Gerard and his face was on fire. Of course he would be ashamed, I thought bitterly.
"Morning boys!" She chimed. Gerard smiled at her and nodded while I glanced at the ground and mumbled. Joan laid out my daily doses and a glass of orange juice. Gerard pulled her to the side and mumbled something in her ear. She nodded seriously and left with a grim smile. I glared at him accusingly and he walked over to me swiftly.
"Morning Frankie." Gerard leaned in to kiss me again and I turned my head. He frowned and rubbed my hip a little. "What?" I didn't respond and he crawled next to me. "Fraaankiieee" he sing songed and I giggled a little, trying to hide it behind the curtain of my hair. "You gonna tell me why you're mad at me?" he began to pout and peck my jaw. I looked pointedly at the door that Joan just walked out of.
Gerard stopped and understood what I meant. His face fell and he smoothed his thumb over my sickly hip-bones.
"I'm sorry, I- I'm not ashamed, I just don't think it's a good idea, y'know?" Gerard looked at me hopefully and lifted my hand to his lips. I blushed and pulled him down onto me again. "Sorry." he mumbled again and I shook my head.
Finally, I found his hand and squeezed it tight.
"What'd you tell her that made her leave?" I croaked out, coughing a bit.
Gerard kissed the side of my face and giggled.
"I told her we were talking about our personal experiences and that we wanted privacy." Gerard rolled his eyes and looked into mine. "Wanted to be alone with you.." I grinned in spite of myself and surged forward, bumping our foreheads together a bit painfully.
Gerard snuggled me for a big, lifting my shirt collar out of the way so he could kiss my collar bone once in a while. I heard him sigh and then he was looking me in the eyes.
"Frankie you gotta eat today.." I shook my head roughly and slipped his fingers through mine. "Please?" he pleaded. I could feel tears brimming my eyes and looked away.
"'M not good enough yet." I wiped my eyes and whimpered. Gerard's other hand cupped my face gently and turned it to look at him.
"Frank of course you are." Gerard whispered. I shook my head once more and curled into a tight ball. I lay there numbly as tears fell down my face. I could still feel Gerard's presense behind me. Gerard was peppering kisses down my back, whispering things like; 'beautiful' and 'please' and even just my name. His hands encircled me and he pulled me onto his lap, I threw my arms around his neck thankful for the embrace. Gerard rocked me slowly and kissed the top of my head, whispering more pleads and compliments.
"We'll just start with meds and juice for now, okay?" he soothed. I nodded and he reached over, bringing the pills and the small cup of juice. I swallowed dutifully and grimaced. My stomach reacted violently.
It felt like little monsters were inside my tummy, trying to push out anything that might settle there. Anything that would make me gain even more weight.
Gerard tried to get me to drink more and I gave a feeble 'no'.
He sighed and ran his hands up my back.
"That's okay for now.." Gerard brushed the hair out of my face and kissed my nose tenderly. "Let's go outside today, 'm gonna show you something."
I remembered the last time I went outside and was hesitant. Gerard sensed my distress and assured me everything would be fine.
Finally, I nodded in agreement. Gerard smiled and kissed my lips, passionately this time. I melted into him and felt his heart thud against my chest. He pulled back and knocked our foreheads together.
"I get to show you something almost as gorgeous as you."
Gerard leaned close to me, almost as to give me a kiss but hesitated about an inch from my face. I placed my palm gently on his cheek and guided him home.
The kiss was as special as the last, it was quick, but sweet, and woke me up more than anything could. Gerard pulled away and buried his head into my neck, smiling at the skin there. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his shoulder, hoping to get him to climb onto the hospital bed with me. My plan was almost working, that is until Joan walked in.
The noise alerted Gerard and he jumped out of my reach, stepping away from my bed quickly. Joan didn't seem to notice our previous embrace. I glanced at Gerard and his face was on fire. Of course he would be ashamed, I thought bitterly.
"Morning boys!" She chimed. Gerard smiled at her and nodded while I glanced at the ground and mumbled. Joan laid out my daily doses and a glass of orange juice. Gerard pulled her to the side and mumbled something in her ear. She nodded seriously and left with a grim smile. I glared at him accusingly and he walked over to me swiftly.
"Morning Frankie." Gerard leaned in to kiss me again and I turned my head. He frowned and rubbed my hip a little. "What?" I didn't respond and he crawled next to me. "Fraaankiieee" he sing songed and I giggled a little, trying to hide it behind the curtain of my hair. "You gonna tell me why you're mad at me?" he began to pout and peck my jaw. I looked pointedly at the door that Joan just walked out of.
Gerard stopped and understood what I meant. His face fell and he smoothed his thumb over my sickly hip-bones.
"I'm sorry, I- I'm not ashamed, I just don't think it's a good idea, y'know?" Gerard looked at me hopefully and lifted my hand to his lips. I blushed and pulled him down onto me again. "Sorry." he mumbled again and I shook my head.
Finally, I found his hand and squeezed it tight.
"What'd you tell her that made her leave?" I croaked out, coughing a bit.
Gerard kissed the side of my face and giggled.
"I told her we were talking about our personal experiences and that we wanted privacy." Gerard rolled his eyes and looked into mine. "Wanted to be alone with you.." I grinned in spite of myself and surged forward, bumping our foreheads together a bit painfully.
Gerard snuggled me for a big, lifting my shirt collar out of the way so he could kiss my collar bone once in a while. I heard him sigh and then he was looking me in the eyes.
"Frankie you gotta eat today.." I shook my head roughly and slipped his fingers through mine. "Please?" he pleaded. I could feel tears brimming my eyes and looked away.
"'M not good enough yet." I wiped my eyes and whimpered. Gerard's other hand cupped my face gently and turned it to look at him.
"Frank of course you are." Gerard whispered. I shook my head once more and curled into a tight ball. I lay there numbly as tears fell down my face. I could still feel Gerard's presense behind me. Gerard was peppering kisses down my back, whispering things like; 'beautiful' and 'please' and even just my name. His hands encircled me and he pulled me onto his lap, I threw my arms around his neck thankful for the embrace. Gerard rocked me slowly and kissed the top of my head, whispering more pleads and compliments.
"We'll just start with meds and juice for now, okay?" he soothed. I nodded and he reached over, bringing the pills and the small cup of juice. I swallowed dutifully and grimaced. My stomach reacted violently.
It felt like little monsters were inside my tummy, trying to push out anything that might settle there. Anything that would make me gain even more weight.
Gerard tried to get me to drink more and I gave a feeble 'no'.
He sighed and ran his hands up my back.
"That's okay for now.." Gerard brushed the hair out of my face and kissed my nose tenderly. "Let's go outside today, 'm gonna show you something."
I remembered the last time I went outside and was hesitant. Gerard sensed my distress and assured me everything would be fine.
Finally, I nodded in agreement. Gerard smiled and kissed my lips, passionately this time. I melted into him and felt his heart thud against my chest. He pulled back and knocked our foreheads together.
"I get to show you something almost as gorgeous as you."