My ***ed up Bachelor Party

~Matt~

“So that’s it, huh?” George asked, relaxed. “You decided to sit back and let nature take its course?”

“Pretty much.”

Before I could let the words sink in, I started having a laughing fit. Everyone turned to face me, their looks asking ‘the fuck is so funny?’ It took a while to figure out why I was laughing, even for me.

After a few more seconds of awkward laughing, it started dying down, like my laughter knew it was unwelcome. I looked at everyones’ face, but I didn’t meet their eyes.

“Why did you start laughing?” Danny asked. “I didn’t think I was that funny.”

“You’re not,” I responded shrewdly.

“Well, no need to be mean about,” he said.

“I’m not being mean,” I replied.

“So why’d you start laughing?” Danny repeated.

If I kept scoffing like I am, my voice is gonna go hoarse. “You call what we did natural?” I asked him, my voice more angry and loud than I intended.

He flinched. “Um... I don’t know. It just sorta happened, so, yeah, I guess it’s natural. Isn’t that the definition of natural? Things just happening?”

Am I being harsh? He looks... scared, for lack of a better term. “I... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come of mean. Its just...”

“You’re nervous, aren’t you?” Danny asked after my pause.

“Yeah... I’m nervous. About a lot of things, actually.” My honesty shocked me. But, when I thought about it, it also didn’t shock me. Danny was one of the few people who was just easy to talk and open up to. Of course, I’d never say it to his face.

“What... oh. You’re nervous about...” He started.

I looked at him. His eyes motioned to the right twice, and I casually looked to where his eyes led me. Jordan.

“Yeah... that’s one of the things I’m nervous about.”

“Don’t be nervous. Nothing is like it seems.” Danny leaned in close to my right ear. “He doesn’t hate you, Matt. I promise.” He patted my right shoulder, then rubbed it, like he always does when someone he knows is upset. It was comforting, and NOT in a gay way.

“Soooooooooooo...” Jorel started. “You gonna finish the story or start fucking?”

“A little bit of both, actually,” I answered cryptically.

“Yeah, totally.” Randomly, Danny started rubbing my knee/thigh area, but he kept a distance from my dick. I started giggling. Fuck.

“Why do you keep giggling?” George asked after the giggles settled down.

“I’m ticklish,” I admitted.

“Really now?” Danny asked, an evil intent shining a little to bright in his eyes. Suddenly he pounced, and started tickling my sides. I had to start laughing to keep from screaming in surprise.

Dannys’ fingers brushed over my belly button, and I started giggling harder.

“Do you caaaaave?” Danny asked in a cross between a caveman and Scottish lad voice.

“NEVER!” I yelled.

“Okay! Okay! Stop pretend-fucking each other and get on with the story!” I heard Jordan shout.

Danny stopped the tickle attack and I stopped my giggle fit, then we just stared at Jordan. I realized that the position me and Danny were in was a bit, well, gayish.

My left side was pressed into the leather couch, my legs pressed together by Danny and hanging off the edge. Danny was semi-on top of me, hands on either side of me. His right hand was up against my chest, while his left hand was against my back. His penis was awkwardly pushed into my Levi skinny jeans. Upside? We were both flaccid*.

“And I thought I liked it rough,” Dylan said.

Jorel leaned into Dylans’ ear and whispered something. It must have been good because Dylan smiled. It look along the lines of Don’t start my fire, baby, you’ll get burned.

“Let’s not start fucking until later, boys,” George said, trying to simmer everybody down. “Let’s finish the story before we get the next venue.”

With small fits of laughter, Danny and me separated, taking our seats like before. Only this time around, we sat closer. And it didn’t feel weird.

“Finally,” Jordan said, failing to keep it a whisper. But it seemed I was the only one to notice his tone was laced with abhorrence*.

Danny exhaled with finality. “Whatever happens, happens. After that, everything was easy. I just let it all go and... waited, I guess.” He turned to me. “But I think Matty should tell us his thoughts during that very intense week.”

“Okay, why not.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashba-

“Well, nothing changed,” I admitted.

Dannys’ face scrunched up in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I was worried, but that week was really... calm. Nothing interesting happened, no life-altering decisions were made... it was just a week. The only thing I really worried about was your last present before you got married.”

“That’s it?” George asked.

“Yeah, it seems there should be more there,” Jorel piped up.

“Yeah man!” Dylan threw another piece of popcorn, but Danny caught it at the last second and ate it. “Don’t hold back on dem details!”

“I mean... I... slept?” I don’t really understand what they want from me.

“Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiith?” Jorel sang off-key.

“Myself? I didn’t sleep with anybody that week, ironically.”

“So... you ‘prepared’ yourself, basically,” George stated, using air quotes for emphasis.

I just shrugged. “Sure, why not.”

“So you and Danny were on the same page,” Jordan said, sounding like a scientist on the brink of a discovery. “Just let things happen naturally.”

Why does he do that? He’s pissed off one minute and the next he’s the coolest dude ever. The fuck, man. “Guess so.”

“So what happened next?” Dylan asked, slight agitation covering his voice.

Me and Danny looked at each other again. We nodded, but I wasn’t entirely sure why.

“The next part is the actual bachelor party,” Danny said. “You guys know how that went down. I’ll just go from when the shit gets good. ’Kay, Matty?”

“Fine by me,” I responded nonchalantly.

Everyone nodded.

“All right, then!” George clapped his hands loudly. “Let’s get to sex!”