Choices

I was slightly hot so I shrugged off my robe and there was a gasp from Pettigrew. I spun around to face him and hung my head realising that the hood of the cloak had been hiding the scar. Sirius came up beside me and put his arms around me in a hug knowing just how much I hated telling the story of my scars. I swear that being my twin made him have ESP about me.
“What was that?” Remus demanded and the three of them had their wands drawn and pointed at me.
“Leave her alone, it isn’t a real Dark Mark alright. That was Mother’s idea of a punishment a few years back. Get a fake Dark Mark branded on her neck and then not let her grow her hair out. Pretty sick really but Mother always had a twisted sense of humour. “ Sirius defended me and I did nothing but stand there and peer out at them through my side fringe.
“You realise that there is only one way to prove that it this is the truth. Don’t block me out Sirius or I’ll think that you’re lying.” James said and both he and Remus kept their wands pointed but Remus redirected his so that it was facing Sirius. Peter pointed his down to the floor but looked ready to point it back at me in a moment’s notice.
I closed my eyes and heard as James and Remus muttered in unison and then it was all there laid out before James.
I was six and running through a field with my friend CC, Sirius was chasing us in a game of tag. I was eight and CC convinced me that Mother couldn't be all bad but he was wrong and when I got home that night I was beaten into a cowering mess. My mother was practicing the Cruciatus Curse on me as a practise session. I was 14 and I had snuck out to CC’s for the day when mother was out, we were in his back garden and we had shared our first kiss. I got home that night and Mother had been waiting for me in my room, she had branded the mark onto my neck as a punishment for sneaking out.
I could feel it all over again as my flesh burned and blackened, my hair was chopped off messily and it fell to the floor in a pile. My mother left the room without looking back and left me to nurse the burns by myself, I didn't see Sirius that month. Or the month after, or even the month after that.
My sight came back to me and I was on the stones in the Entrance Hall. Tears were streaming down my face and Sirius was cradling me with my head on his lap. He rocked us gently and the boys stood over me with guarded expressions. More people were gathered around and I figured that I had screamed or had a fit. One of the two or possibly even both. James was squatted down and he came closer to me, I cringed closer into Sirius’ lap.
“I’m sorry Demonio, I had to be certain. I didn't expect for it to be so powerful as to make you feel it all over again but at least we now know that you were telling the truth about it. We best be getting you up to the common room I think. Maybe even the dorm to put you straight to bed.”
“No, don’t put me in bed or make me sleep. I makes it worse, just help me stand and I’ll walk there and then I can sit down.” I got onto all fours and the world spun, swallowing back vomit I stood up and Remus and Peter grabbed my elbows. I took a few steps, stumbled and someone wrapped their arms around me from behind. The hands holding my elbows disappeared and I was left being swung up into the person’s arms. I looked up and James was the one holding me, he smelt like cinnamon and I snuggled further into his surprisingly muscular chest. Without looking down at me he walked forwards and up the stairs stepping through the surrounding crowds. We reached the portrait with Remus, Peter and Sirius and he looked at them.
“Do any of you know the password?” They shook their heads no and I nodded my head yes. He looked down at me and gave me an expectant look. He craned his neck down to next my mouth so that he could hear my raspy whisper.
“Peanut butter,” I said and felt his face stretch into a grin. He repeated what I said and the portrait swung open. Unlike the night before the common room had other people in it and they turned to stare as we came through. There were a few wolf whistles and I swear somebody called ‘Pulled already! You can't be serious!” Although I wasn’t sure because I was sort of out of it in a floating bubble. Kicking a door open, James walked into a dorm room that wasn’t mine and plonked me softly onto a bed. The boys sat on the other beds and looked at me expectedly. I opened my mouth and said the first thing that I could think of.
“Where’s the bathroom?” Remus pointed to a door in the far corner and I raced through it to the toilet. I started to throw up and I smelt the familiar smell of coconut as Sirius tied back my hair and rubbed my back in soothing circles. Once I was certain that there was nothing left in my stomach I stood and Sirius conjured a glass of water for me to rinse out my mouth before going back into the bedroom.
The guys looked at me like I had grown a second head as I walked into the room and I gave them a what? look.
“Let me get this right now. All you’ve eaten for food tonight has been about twelve grapes but you were in there for about 15 minutes with no breaks in the vomiting? How does that even work?” It was Remus that finally voiced what they were all thinking.
“No idea whatsoever and I don’t want to think about it if that’s alright.”
“Sure, no problem. Are you alright for getting up to your room do you think?”
“Probably, why don’t one of you come to make sure though?”
“I’ll do it,” James volunteered. “I sort of caused this so I best make sure you’re okay.” I nodded and James led me out of the dorm. Nobody looked this time as he led me to my room, I opened the door and let him in.
“I best wait until you’re asleep before leaving so that I can make sure you’re fine.” I shrugged and rummaged through my trunk for my pyjamas. I took them into the bathroom and changed in there, as I was walking to do the door I passed the full length mirror and groaned. James was just outside the door and my pyjamas probably weren’t that suitable. It was a two piece consisting of a top that looked like a strapless bra with loose see through trim around the edges and shorts so skimpy that they barely resembled anything other than a strip of material with matching trim. My hair looked like a haystack and I teased it into place with a hairbrush. I think I may have taken longer than I expected to because as I was brushing my teeth there was a knock on the door followed by James asking me if I was decent.
“Mm hm,” I called and he opened the door to the bathroom as I bent over to spit into the sink.
“I asked if you were decent and you said yes didn't you. If your brother ever finds out that I have seen you in your underwear he will kill me.” I spun around and he gave me an assessing look.
“What do you mean? This is my pyjamas. You said to get to bed so I’m getting ready for bed.” He took a deep breath, rolled his eyes and looked me over again.
“Not exactly suitable for company though is it?”
“What could you possibly mean James? CC’s seen me like this a million times, what’s so wrong with the outfit?”
“I don’t know how to say it nicely so I’ll just spit it out. If you stripped right here and now, you wouldn’t be making that much of a difference. That’s how little the material is, not that I’m complaining but your brother will kill me if he tries to read my mind with the spell I used earlier and sees this.” By this he obviously meant my attire. I shrugged and not wanting to discuss it further I walked into the dorm. I crawled under the sheets and patted the bed next to me as an indicator for James to sit. He lay down beside me and rested his head on one arm looking at me. Flipping over so that I was facing away from him I snuggled closer so that we were spooning sort of. I flipped back over and frowned at him.
“What?”
“Get under the covers so that we can spoon properly, this is just awkward to get to sleep.” He got up and slid back under the covers and I went back to my original position. Much easier, I thought and he wrapped one arm around my waist on the top of the blankets. Encased in his smell, it didn't take me long to fall asleep and as I dreamed I was surrounded by the scent of cinnamon.
***
The next morning I awoke to the smell of cinnamon and the feel of a bare chest under my cheek. My legs were entwined with a stronger pair of bare male ones, the only thing saving James from being buck naked were a pair of boxers. I was laying on his chest and he had both his arms wrapped around me in a hug. Underneath me his breath was even and then there was a small shudder and he was awake. He looked down at me and rubbed my back in small circles.
“Morning Demonio.”
“Morning James. Can you just explain one thing to me?”
“Sure what?”
“Why are you pretty much naked in my bed hugging me when you were meant to go back downstairs last night fully dressed?”
“You don’t remember?”
“No that’s why I’m asking.”
“I tried to get up last night and you woke up and told me not to leave, so I stripped down and slept in my boxers. We ended up hugging like this because when I got into pretty much naked you clambered on top of me to go to sleep hugging me.”
“Oh, okay.” I nodded my head and placed elbows on either side of his body so that I could pull up and look him in the eye without craning my neck.
“Do you want to get up now?”
“I’m perfectly happy like this thanks.” He answered me quickly and his eyes were laughing.
“A) I can tell that and B) that wasn’t a question that was a demand.”
“Do I get a good morning kiss?” He asked cheekily and I raised one eyebrow at him.
“No,”
“Oh well then I’ll have to resort to force.”
“And how exactly are you going to force me James?”
“Like this,” he said as he flipped me over so that he was looking down me instead of me down on him. He pinned my arms above my head and with a smile and a throaty growl lent down and kissed me on the cheek. I screamed with laughter and he laughed with me. He sat up still straddling me.
“This is quite a compromising position you know James so can you please get out of it as soon as possible please.” He looked down at me and gave me a cheeky grin that seemed to say what-if-I-don’t? Or possibly even You-gonna-make-me-little-girl?
“James, seriously get off me before I call Sirius up here and tell him you were sexually harassing me.” He gave me a mock hurt look but it seemed to do the trick as he climbed off me.
“Your time-table’s here Demonio and mine to. Guess they knew I would be here this morning somehow.” He handed me a sheet of paper and I looked it over then groaned.
Potions- Professor Slughorn
Defence Against the Dark Arts- Professor Merrythought
Charms-Professor Flitwick
Transfiguration- Professor Dumbledore
Herbology- Professor Beery
Care Of Magical Creatures- Professor Kettleburn
James to groaned and without asking we swapped. The only upside that I could see to our time tables were that they were exactly the same and we had every lesson together in the day. There was a knock on the door and Sirius called out from the other side.
“Hurry up, we’re all going to the great hall for breakfast, James is already down there we think.” Slinging my robe on I walked over to the door and opened it up with James still stood next to my bed in just his boxers.
“I’m coming, I just woke up.” Sirius blushed when he saw his friend and then when he turned to face me he was angry.
“What is James doing up here in just his underwear?”
“I couldn't sleep last night so he stayed to help me get to sleep and as he was staying but didn't have pyjamas he slept in his boxers.”
“In another bed I would hope,”
“No, the other beds were full so he had to stay in mine last night with me.” I stepped out of the way and swept my arm out in an invitation to enter so that the whole of the house didn't hear us. The door across the landing was slightly open and I could see some guys watching us from the crack. He stepped in warily and I shut the door. As soon as it was shut Sirius spun around and started on at me again.
“So he slept in his boxers because he didn't have nightwear but that doesn’t explain why you’re in your underwear.”
“This isn’t my underwear, this is my nightwear.”
“WHAT!” He screeched and I rubbed my ear sarcastically.
“Scream any louder Sirius.”
“Who are you and what have you done with my sister? My sister the one who said she would never be a slag or a whore or anything like that.”
“You know what Sirius! You want to see my underwear here. I can prove this isn’t my underwear.” I stalked over to the chest of drawers and ripped out the small one on the top level on the left and emptied it over my bed. Knowing just how much it would piss him off I strode into the bathroom with a selection of underwear and my highest heels, locked the door and changed into them. He wanted to say I was wearing underwear then I would show him underwear. I slid my black thong on with my garter, stockings, 10’’ heels and almost see through bra and walked into the room. James’ eyes popped out of his skull and Sirius looked lost for words. There was a knock on the door and Remus’ voice came from the outside.
“Can we come in?”
“Yeah because I’m so much of a slag that it doesn’t matter who sees my underwear” I said as I opened the door with a flourish. Now the door across the landing was open completely and the lads were coming out of their room. They saw me and stopped dead in their tracks. I didn't really blame them. I would have done it if I was them and a girl across the hallway opened the door in underwear and heels for two guys to come in with two more already inside the room. Peter blushed furiously and Remus’ jaw dropped until it seemed like it had hit the floor.
Sirius came to the door and shoved my black silk dressing gown into my hands.
“We get the idea alright, now keep some of your dignity and cover up before the whole house knows exactly what your underwear looks like. By the way, I never want any of these to ever see you in a thong ever again especially from behind.” He gave me a stern look and my lips curled up into a sneer.
“What if I become an exotic dancer? Are you going to stop them then if they have to come pick me up from work and get there early? Are you going to barge in and shut the place down so that I don’t dance? I didn't think so because I’ll need the money and you always said that you would never lend me some because I have to earn it myself. Just stop being protective Sirius and get a life. Just think this stemmed from your own sense of insecurity about me possibly sleeping with James which I didn't. I just met the poor guy I’m not a slag whatever you think.” I looked him full on and he looked back, our gazes were locked and he was the one to look away first. He threw his hands in the air.
“Actually Demonio do whatever you want. I don’t care anymore! Sleep with all my mates and walk around in your thong! Play kiss and tell with whomever you want but don’t come crying to me when you can't afford your drugs anymore.” That was when I slapped him. Not the sissy hit he had given me in the past but a full blown slap that made him rock on his heels.
“Get out! Get out right now Sirius Orion Black before I lose my temper anymore and if it makes you feel more secure take all your friends so that I can't possibly be sleeping with them this morning or ever.” I raged and pointed at the door that he went to hesitantly, when he reached it he turned around and my eyes leaked the first of the tears but I held onto my anger.
“Get out I said!” He got out followed by Remus and Peter, James stayed in the room. Peter shut the door behind him and James wrapped his arms around me; I turned around and hugged him back. Tears ran more freely now but quieter and I awkwardly took my heels off but didn't unwrap both arms from around him. The tears slowed then stopped and then stopped and James still held me tightly. Finally he let me go and pulled on his jeans and grabbed his top off the floor.
“Don’t worry, Sirius will come around, it’s just a matter of giving him time to let it all off and then you’ll be right back to being close. He’s just protective that’s all because of what happened with your mother. He now seems to think because of it you’ll give it all up if someone offers you love in some way, shape or form. It won’t take long now and he’ll feel sorry.”
“It’s okay James you don’t have to help me. I’ll handle it and if he doesn’t forgive me then I’ll have to deal. Now you best go get dressed for the day.”
“Right I’ll meet you in the common room when you’re ready.” I nodded and then he was gone.