51 Days.

I back my head away in frustration.
“Why now? I thought I was past these?”
“Hey, it’s okay shh.” He said pulling me close again. I rested my head on his shoulder and squeezed my eyes shut. He started rocking me while rubbing my back. I lowered my head to lean against his chest. His breathing and his heartbeat seemed to calm me down. He probably wants to go back inside. What a stupid reason to be sitting in the grass when he has something way more important than you to take care of. Why are you always bothering someone? My thoughts screamed at me and I wanted so badly to scream back. I felt myself to tense up again but I was hoping Alex didn’t notice.
“Y-you can go back inside.” I said leaning away from him and wiped a tear.
“I’m fine right here.” Translation: I hate that I have to be a good person sometimes
“Seriously, I’m alright. I just n-needed some fresh air.”
“Adrienne, I’m not going anywhere.” Translation: I can’t, it would look bad on me. Not like I already don’t look bad for fucking you.
“Please? Alex please?” I need them to stop. I need to stop thinking. They keep getting louder.
He caught my eyes, “Adrienne, I’m here for you. I know they’re loud, I know they’re negative but I’m here for you. I’m not going anywhere. Just focus on me.”
I nodded and rested in my previous position.
Suddenly he started singing.
“I'm wasting time thinking about a girl
And stealing her away from her world
She and I would run away
I think of all the things that I'd say

We'd talk about important things
And I picture it in my dreams
She'd teach me about modern art
And I'd show her it's okay to fart”

He paused and laughed a little before he continued.

“and maybe I'd impress her
By being in a band and
Maybe if I act real tough
She'd let me hold her hand and
Maybe I'll win her heart
By writing this song about her.”

“Sometimes I sit at home and
Wonder if she's sitting at home
Thinking of me and wondering if I'm
Sitting at home, thinking about her
Or am I just wasting my time?
Remembering how she laughed at Kinko's
When I made fun of that guy
Remembering the look she gave me
When I told her that I used to fry”

He paused for a second before continuing.

“I really want to ask her out
But my ego could never take it
And even if I got the balls
You know that the Cougar would never make it

And in my town you can't drive naked.”

“And maybe I'd impress her
By being in a band and
Maybe if I act real tough
She'd let me hold her hand and
Maybe I'll win her heart
By writing this song about her

Sometimes I sit at home and
Wonder if she's sitting at home
Thinking of me and wondering if I'm
Sitting at home, thinking about her
Or am I just wasting my time

Am I just wasting my time
Am I just wasting my time
Am I just wasting my time
Wasting my time thinking about a girl.”

I leaned up kissing him on the cheek then whispered, “thank you.”
I felt slightly normal again. I could breath again. His voice distracted me from myself.
“So I take it as you’re feeling better?”
“Yeah, thanks to you.”
“It’s been in my head all day, it’s by-”
“Blink 182, Wasting Time.”
“I knew there was a reason I liked you.” He smiled.
“What’s that suppose to mean?”
“It means, I really want to makeout with you right now.”
“Wow, you go from sweet and caring to sexualy frustrated in like .2 seconds.”
He leaned in close, “Shut up and kiss me.”
His lips fell perfectly in place with mine. It was like they were perfect for eachother.
“Did you just fake an attack to come out here and makeout?” Jack asked walking off the bus.
“No, I didn’t, I said something about Blink 182 and it made Alex wanna makeout.” I laughed.
“So all I’d have to do is ask?”
“Maybe.” I smirked.
“Adrienne, will you makeout with me?”
“No.” I said seriously before joining Alex in a fit of laughter.
Jack stuck out his bottom lip and hung his head low while returning back onto the bus.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah. I mean, i’m still on edge but I think I’ll be fine.”
“Do you want to go back in, or on a walk, or..”
“Actually a walk sounds really good right now.”
He stood up and reached out his hands. I grabbed them and he pulled me up.
I started walking past towards the main road. I felt a hand sweep my ass. “What the hell?” I asked turning around.
“You had some grass.” He said with a smirk.
“I’m sure.”
He moved up next to me and we walked silently together.
"So, was that your favorite Blink song?" I asked making conversation.
"Actually no, just it's been on my mind lately."
"Why's that? Crushing on a one nightstand?"
"No, I don't crush."
"You're human, you crush." I said with a snicker.
"Alright, who are you crushing on?" He asked with a smile.
"Umm, well he's pretty sweet, kind, and cute."
"Mhm,"
"He's really funny, his dick jokes are the best too."
"Yea,"
"You may know him, Jack Barakat?"
"Are you joking?"
"No, he's so cute!"
"Alright then why when he asked to make out, you said no? Yet you made out with me?"
"Are you implying I like you?"
"No, just... I dunno, I guess it would be a surprise if you didn't."
And what makes you so sure?"
"I just, I guess I just want to be around you all the time and when I'm not with you I want to be. I guess... I was just hoping."
"I don't get you. I honestly don't."
"What do you mean?"
"You wanted just sex, than you're telling me this? Is this honestly another way to get me all emotional and in your pants?"
"No! Andy, it's not-"
"I call bullshit." I said turning around heading back to the bus. I walked on passing everyone and went straight to my bunk.
"Andy, c'mon- why do you do this? You're being so fucking over dramatic" Alex asked following behind me.
"Yeah so's your dick." I said jerking my bunk curtains closed
Alex opened them back up, "that didn't even make sense."
I just flipped over facing the wall.
He let out a small laugh.
I flipped back over, "do you think this is funny?"
"No..?" He said a small smile tugging at his lips.
"Me too, at your dick that won't be getting anything any time soon."
"Are you really mad?" He asked, his smile fading.
That's when I bursted into laughter,
"I had to make it less awkward when I came in here. I've done that for years, it's instinct now."
"You fucker."
"But! I am tired so I think I'm going to go to bed early."
"Yeah me too. Can you wait until the guys leave for the BBQ though?"
"I guess, why?"
"I dunno," he rubbed the back of his neck, "so we could watch a movie on the or something."
"You either want to cuddle or fuck.."
"No! .... No sex,"
"Awe, Lex want's to cuddle." He turned his head away,
... I leaned over and kissed his cheek. He turned his face letting my lips fall on his.
"Just come get me whenever they leave."
"Sounds good." He closes my curtains and I heard him travel away. Now, to just waste time. I grabbed a book I kept in my bunk and flipped on my light. It seemed like only minutes until Alex opened my curtains again, "What time is it?"
"Like eight, the guys left about ten minutes ago."
I nodded and crawled out of the bunk and lowered myself to the floor. I followed him out to the couch where he had a single pillow and quilt thrown over. He laid down first and patted next to him. I eased myself on and he wrapped his arms securely around me. There wasn't a movie playing but I knew that wasn't the point. This felt right, this felt perfect. With his calming breath, and the sound of his heart, I fell right to sleep.