The Reason

I start to get a sense of what is happening around me. I look, feeling uncomfortable, at the doctor who was ahead of me checking all my clinical data defoliating paper by paper from his pad. My eyes find his identification: Jonathan Seward. He cannot be the same doctor. He cannot be the owner of the house I stole. Simply, he can't be. But what is going on here? What is going on in my life? It changed dramatically in just three days. But why? Why all this now?

But the worst is that I think it won't stop there. I don't know how Dr. Johnny discovered who I am but I'm sure that when I leave this hospital room I'm not going to my house. I'll be arrested for assault and kidnapping or something like that. I'm jumping out of the frying pan into the fire and I can't take myself out of it. I sigh which makes him look at me. He approaches and smiles, putting his hand on my forehead as if he's trying to calm me down. I look at him vaguely but quickly I look in another direction. The feeling of guilt is taming me and I can't hide it.

"Relax. You don't have any reason for being nervous. "

"I haven't? After what I did? I understand your choice... stealing me of your partner... and I also took the hint. But you're right. I have to assume what I did."

"You're still a bit confused... try to rest."

"Confused? Of course I'm confused! My life has been a real mess and it seems that I'm not having control about the situation. It's all happening in seconds. I no longer know what's going to happen going forward."

"Natasha, I understand why you did it. It’s not the first time I find girls like you. But... you have no reason to do what you did. For what Zachary Baker said, the teacher who brought you here, you're a very smart girl, one of the best students he has."

"And then what? This prevented me from doing what I did?"

"No, it didn't. But maybe you need a shoulder. Someone who will forward you to the right paths." - He's right. I need someone in my life. Somebody to help me. Someone to give some meaning to my life. Someone to give me a hug when I need. Someone to call me at night just to ask how I'm feeling... I need somebody, it's true. But lately, I can't complain about that, although I'm getting attention for the worst reasons. I smile sadly at him and he walks over to a table that is in the corner of the room and picks up a plastic cup with tea and an apple. - "Take it and eat it. You need to eat, Natasha. You are too thin for your age and height. If you want to continue to be a great student what you are, you have to feed you. And besides, you're beautiful. But if you eat, believe me, you become even more gorgeous."

"You say that because you don't know me..."

"Your body tells a lot about you ... not the best things, but at least shows that you have had to face many challenges in your life. And I'm sure you've become a woman full of strength able to go through everything."

"How can you say that if you know what I did? And how can you talk to me like that if I’m the best person in the world?"

"No one is perfect. And I'm here to help you. I am specialized in psychology despite being in general practice. After you get out of here I want you to go to my house, or I can even come to yours if you prefer... I don't want you to do what you did once again. So, I want to try to help you. "

"But why did everybody decide to help me just now?"

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, why? First of all, Professor Haner, now you... what's the point? I'm getting insane, right? You want to put me in a mental hospital? Maybe it was where I should be."

"Calm down, Natasha, calm down! Nobody is saying that you're crazy and you should be in a mental hospital. Quite the opposite. You are a very rational person, but you have your weaknesses due to something that marked you in some way and I want to help you to forget those memories that are killing you slowly." - I start to sag slightly and gradually. I'm starting to have what I always wanted: help. But it's strange that from one moment to the other everyone is worrying about me. I feel I have people around me able to help me but I can't trust in any of them. I just can't trust. I don't feel able to control the uprising that I feel with this loneliness that comes over me every day. I am an animal who can't socialize, I don't know get along with people around you. I'm in this city about two years ago and in these two years I'm living alone, I have no friends and I just cling to books as if they were the only possible salvation not to go crazy. I feel a tear running down my face that quickly disappears between the fingers of Dr. Seward. He turns away from me slowly, looking at me giving me hope. He leaves the room. Once again, I am here alone but I feel fine. I think it's time to change something in my life, I think it's time to clean my being and become a new person. But I'm aware that it will be difficult. This is not the first time I try to change but this is the first time I have people who can help me.

I drink some tea that Dr. Seward gave me and take a crack in the apple. Actually, I was starving. Just eat the apple and drinking tea, and as I have nothing to do, I caught in TV remote that is beside me and I turn on the television. I start to watch a movie, but as is nothing better to watch on TV to distract me a bit, I watch it, forgetting what really took me to the hospital. Sometime later, I began to feel sleepy and, several times, I try to keep my eyes open, but it becomes increasingly difficult to do. But when I'm about to fall asleep, my phone rings. I stretch my arm to reach it. When I reach it, I look at the screen and see that I don't recognize the number. I'm a little apprehensive whether I should answer or not. I choose the second option. Again, I put the phone where it was, but even so my eyes don’t stop looking at it. Something tells me to answer, and quickly I pick up the phone and answer it.

"Hello?" - No one answers. I ask who is it but that person hangs up the call. I think it's Matt. After all, he disappeared without trace and he doesn't say anything for hours. But, if it was him, why the hell he didn't talk? I think about it for a few seconds, but quickly my attention focuses again on the movie.

***

"Miss Natasha, take care of yourself and don't forget to eat, okay?"

"Don't worry. I can take care of myself. "

"I know that. In a few days, I'll call you, okay?"

"I'll be waiting. Thank you for all you're doing for me, Dr. Seward."

"Doctor, who? Natasha, I'm a just a little older than you... and forget I'm a doctor. You can you call me Johnny."

"I'll try." - I smile at Johnny and he gives me a goodbye hug. Leaving the hospital, I'm preparing to call a taxi but soon I give up the idea. A few feet away from me, there’s Matt, leaning against his car and waving at me with his hand. A huge cheer invades my whole being, and without thinking twice, I run up to him, hugging him tightly. His hands push me against his body and he gives me a kiss on my shoulder as a sign of protection. I pull away from him and I can't hide the stupid smile on my face. He smiled too and those dimples in his cheeks give me even more eager to hug him again.

"How are you feeling?"

"Me? Better is impossible! Where have you been?"

"I had some things to do, Natasha. I couldn't put it off. "

"What? One more... "

"No. Nothing like that. I had to... I ... I needed to be alone. Many things have happened in these last days and... "

"Tell me about it ... By the way, why it was you who called me yesterday and hung up the call immediately after?"

"Huh? I didn't call you."

“Don’t you?”

"No, although I had the will to do so. Let's get out of here." - Matt hugs me, putting his arm around my shoulders, opening the car door for me to come in. But despite his gentle attitude, a question invades my mind. If Matt wasn't the one who called me, who was? I leave the hospital just now and already have begun the mysteries and games of hide and seek, but this time I won't run away from anything or anyone. However, I'm afraid with all that is happening. After all, I didn't talk to Matt already about the assault. I should be upset with him; I should avenge myself about what he did to me. He used me and I cannot understand why after the great help I gave him. But on the other hand, he has been a friend and the fact that he's worried about me and has to come to seek me to the hospital shows me that he, deep down, cares about me. However, we're now parking the car near my house.

"How did you know I was in the hospital?"

"This morning, I was at the door of the college waiting for you when I met that guy who was to talk to you at your house... what is his name?"

"Professor Haner?"

"Yes, that. Actually, it was him who came to me and told me everything that happened to you. "

"And... what did he tell you?"

"What he told me? Fuck, Natasha, he told me you fainted in the middle of the class and you were in the hospital."

"That's it?"

"Yes, that's it. Why? Did something else happen?"

"No. Nothing."

"You haven't already told me what he came here to do but, it's not now you'll tell me."

"Why?"

"Do you mind about if I leave you alone now? I have to do some things at home and how much quickly I dispatch it, sooner I can come back to you. "

"Don't worry. I'll be fine. Actually, it comes in handy because I have some school stuff to do. Oh! And I have to go shopping."

"Will you be okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry." - Matt, putting his hands on my waist, pulled my body against his, hugging me. He puts his lips on my shoulder as if he's about to kiss me and feeling his breath on my skin makes me feel chills over my whole body. I'm perplexed and pull away from him, giving him a quick kiss on his cheek and run to the front door of my house. I look back and my eyes find, once again, the eyes of Matt. He smiles at me, biting his bottom lip and comes into the car. He only goes away when I come into the house. I close the door and take a deep breath. I feel good to be home again. Home sweet home. I walk to my living room, not hiding the smile on my face when the cause is Matt. I approach the couch and fall on it, relaxing a bit. I lie there for a few minutes but when I get up, the smile disappears. In the coffee table, right in front of me, the note Professor Haner gave me before he left. I haven't read it yet, but frankly, I have no courage to read it. I stretch my arm to pick it up but I regret about it in the second below. I feel fear about what can be written there. But I'm still more afraid of what I might feel while I'm reading it. I need to distract myself. I get up from the couch and run to the pantry in my kitchen. Definitely, I need to go shopping. I open the several cabinets and write down everything that I need. With the list done, I grab my bag and left the house to go to the supermarket.

As the supermarket is near my house, I decide to walk there. I'm fortunate to be those kind people who don’t take long for purchases. Upon arriving there, I see that isn't too many people shopping. Good! I approach the first running and put in the shopping cart yogurts, milk, cereal, rice, pasta, that sort of thing.

But when I walk down the hall of alcoholic beverages... it's as if all those bottles are calling me. I avoid going there but something pushes me harder and I do on my feet for me not to go to that section but the push is even stronger. Again, the past blends with the present. Unconsciously, I turn briefly to that hall but something stops me. I feel my body rock forward after my shopping cart have beaten on something. I look ahead and see a very tall guy, with amazing blue eyes which hold my eyes in seconds.

"Hello baby doll!"

"He-Hello." - I feel some kind of fear and I step back but there's something about him that makes my eyes don't let his and he smile at me in a so sweet way but yet so daring that makes me smile too .

"You're that girl that lives near my store... yeah, I usually watch you go to the bus stop."

"Which store? Which girl?" - He laughs what makes me a bit uncomfortable but the way he laughs and acts with me is so... I don't know. His own joy is transmitted to the others so easily and the more I try to be serious, more I smile.

"I'm the owner of the tattoo store. That store right near your house. And the girl that I see every day is really you. Always sad and downcast. Now that I can see you, I wonder why you act like that. "

"Why do you say that?"

"Why do I say this?" - He laughs harder once again. - "If you agree to dinner with me tonight, I'll answer your question!"

"Dinner with you? I can't accept. I don't even know you. "

"Hello, I'm Jimmy. And you?" - I look at him, never stopping to smile and frowning, without understanding what he really wants.

"Natasha."

"Great! Now, we know each other. Do you come to dinner with me or not?"