The Ripple Effect

Seven Years Later…

“Mama, please! Please let me!”

“Baby, I just don’t know…”

“But I’ll be good! Honest!” Rein pleaded, tugging fervently on the hem of my shirt. “Please!”

I put the dirty dish and sponge down before stepping away from the sink. Rein dropped his drying towel, frowning up at me. I had never seen him so desperate! I knelt in front of him, taking his hands in mine as he wriggled and twisted to get away.

“Rein, why do want this so much? You’ve never wanted to spend a night away from me before.”

“I don’t want away from you, Mama,” he mumbled, staring at our tangled hands. “I want to go with my new friend. He’s nice, Mama; he is.”

“You met him at school, didn’t you?”

He nodded fervently. “I sit with Jonathan every day.”

I sighed inwardly at the sad look on his face; I could never deny him anything that he wanted no matter what it was. When it came to him, I was hopelessly wrapped around his littlest finger.

“You’re my world, Rein; you know that, don’t you? I love you so very much.”

“I know.”

“And I guess…you should pack your things.”

His eyes lit up, and I smiled when he threw his arms around me.

“Thank you, thank you!” he cried, pushing himself from me and dashing out of the kitchenette and into the one bedroom in our small house.

I slept on the couch every night just so he could have a pleasant sleep in an actual bed, a luxury every child should have. Even if I could give him the world, it just wouldn’t be enough.

These past seven years, despite the dead-end job and the constant worrying over money, had been the best of my life. Rein was the light of my life and, though he came to me in the wrong way and at the wrong time, I would never change anything. If not for the night that I had thought to be the end of my life, I would not even have my angel.

That bastard rapist had been good for something after all.

I unclenched my fists, pushing the anger from me. Rein would never have a father, and I knew I just wouldn’t be enough in the long run. But there was nothing I could do! My baby was doomed from the start, doomed to look upon other families and wonder why our picture was so different. He had yet to ask about his father; I knew, however, that it was just a matter of time. It was like a timer was constantly ticking, and I never could tell when it was about to go off.

It wasn’t like I could forget about it either; Rein hardly looked like me at all. He had thick, wavy auburn hair whereas I had thin and pin straight ebony locks; his eyes were wide and blue, but mine were hazel; even though he was small, I could tell he was already going to be so tall and muscular while I remained short and scrawny. He even had the bastard’s crooked nose… It was a painful reminder that he would always be Rein’s father, no matter how I felt about the injustice.

“Mama?”

I snapped out of my trance, throwing on a smile for my angel.

“You’re sad again,” he whispered, clutching his backpack tightly in his arms.

“I’m fine,” I whispered, cringing as my voice cracked and as a tear slid down my cheek.

“I don’t want to go anymore.”

I grabbed his hand, shaking my head. “Nonsense.” I cleared my throat as I grabbed the keys to the sedan. “Come on, where does Jonathan live?”

He sulked as he sat in the backseat with his arms crossed over his chest. To try and kill the silence, I hummed softly to the radio as the city disappeared and nature overtook industry.

“Mama, Jonathan doesn’t have a mama.”

“That must be very hard for him,” I agreed, glancing around. We were in the middle of nowhere!

“He lives with his uncle, but he calls him Dad because he never knew his papa either. He says that’s okay; no one liked his real papa anyway.”

“I’m sure he’s just misunderstood.”

“Jonathan doesn’t have a mama…and I don’t have a papa.”

I froze. The conversation was seven years in the making, but I had wished to postpone it longer!

“I know you think about Papa all the time, and you get sad. You miss him.” I opened my mouth to protest, but he shook his head. “I like Jonathan. You should marry his uncle.”

I sputtered for a moment, flabbergasted. “That’s not how it works, sweetie.” Honestly, where were we! “Honey, where is Jonathan’s house again?”

He pointed to the forest. “It’s in there.”

“What on earth…?”

“He said there is a path big enough for a car. It’s just past a really big hill.”

“Like that one?”

He bounced up and down in his seat. “Yep! See, there’s the trail!”

“Are you sure?” I asked incredulously, gawking at the thought. Who lives in the forest? No one does that! I shook my head wildly before sliding the wheel clockwise.

“You know, Jonathan and I could already pass for brothers, so it—”

I sighed loudly. “Sweetheart, you are the only man in my life, and I am perfectly happy with that. I am not going to marry anyone anytime soon—if I ever.”

“But I just want—”

“Baby, I am very happy,” I promised Rein, glancing in the rear view mirror to see his fallen face. “I don’t need some silly man to keep me that way, understand? You have been all that I needed for seven years; I was empty without you.”

“Then… What happened to Papa?”

A shaky breath wracked my body as I shifted into parking gear upon reaching a large clearing with small cabins spread throughout it. I couldn’t even enjoy how beautiful this place was, not when I turned and saw Rein with his arms wrapped around his tiny body as if he was threatening to fall apart.

“Rein, your father… He never—”

“You look sad again, Mama,” he whispered, hugging himself even more tightly. “I didn’t want to make you sad.”

I stumbled with my tongue for a moment. How could he think he made me feel anything but joy and devotion? How could he possibly make me upset in any way, shape, or form? He simply couldn’t!

But before I could say any of this to my son, a tapping on glass pulled me from the scene entirely. A harmless smile greeted me, a soft smile on a gentle face.

A face that reminded me so much of my Rein.