Wanderlust

“Marcus, we’ll be fine. Just let us go check the traps.” I poked him, watching him maul over the option of Mila and I leaving the safety of the Hanger and venture outside into the drastically colder weather.

“You have to be quiet and you have to stick together, we don’t know who or what could be wandering around out there,” he warned seriously.

“We’ll be fine,” I assured him, pulling on some knitted gloves Millie had learned to make. “We have the warning flare if anything goes wrong.”

“And you only use that if something goes terribly wrong, that flare can be seen from a mile away. We don’t know if Kruger has anyone patrolling this area or not.” His foot tapped against the floor as he pulled my scarf tighter around my neck.

“Are you actually my Mother and not my cousin?” I teased, turning away.

“Please, just be careful and be quiet. Don’t go after any tracks if you see them, the hunting group is going out sometime tomorrow.” I knew that the tracks bit was aimed at me, he knew I’d want to follow them.

“We got it,” Mila sighed, rolling her neck under the thick scarf she wore too.

I looked over behind Marcus’s shoulder, seeing Jaden fiddling around with some car part in the background. He had been working with Bryant on improving the Jeeps and he had been hanging around, Marcus, lately to show that he wasn’t who his Father was. It had been that way for the past week since I had told Marcus about my nightmares. Jaden hadn't asked about them again but he was always keeping a watchful eye on me. I knew he was, dare I say, worried on a level. He didn't need one of his group members going insane on him.

“Be back by sundown. It gives you a little over an hour in a half to get the traps emptied and to get back here.” Marcus handed the flare gun to Mila, “Keep it in your pack or on you somewhere. Make sure it on you where you can reach it easily.”

“We’ll be fine.” I followed, Mila, over to the bolted door. A guy who I've never me opened it for us, letting us out into the frosty air as he shut it behind us.

The sky was overcast and Marcus said that it’s getting to be that time of year again, things are cooling down permanently. It is the last few weeks of fall after all, winter is coming. Mila walked ahead, scanning the surrounding area as we walking into the line of trees ahead of us. The grouping of trees grew thicker as I looked off into the distance. Mila reached for the first trap, seeing a rabbit snagged. She released it, hooking it onto her pack as she gestured for me to take the lead towards the second trap. There were eight in this area but more further out into the forest. The hunting group would take care of those tomorrow though.

There was another rabbit, along with a squirrel. I hooked them both to my pack and walked side by side with Mila in silence. She gave me a small smile, as she searched for the third trap. I looked up to see the sun sinking faster than expected and I quietly wondered if I should walk ahead a little bit.

“It’s already getting darker, I’ll go ahead to the fourth trap,” I told her quietly.

She shook her head, “No way. We need to stick together.”

“It’ll be fine, it’s right up ahead a bit. We can still see each other.” She gnawed on the inside of her cheek a little bit before she pointed her head in that direction.

I turned and started towards the fourth trap as she walked up to the third trap. I could see where the fourth trap would be, it should be hiding behind a small area of brush. I turned and saw her working a way to release some small animal. I turned back, reaching the fourth trap quickly. I knelt down, seeing a still breathing rabbit snagged tightly in the trap. It wasn't injured and I didn't really have the heart to kill it now, besides, I didn't want blood all over me. I took out my small knife and cut it loose, watching it scatter off away from me. I looked up, feeling no regret letting it go.

My small smile disappeared when I saw a small girl stumbling towards me. She looked to be younger, probably about six or seven years old. I turned back to see, Mila, having trouble with the trap. She wasn't looking over to me as I watch the little girl trip as she cried quietly. She saw me, her eyes going wide for a second before another sob racked her small frame. I stood up, torn, and looked back to Mila.

“Mila!” I whispered loudly to her, knowing that I couldn't get her attention by yelling. She didn't hear me as she brought her hunting knife out.

I looked back at the girl and saw her getting up, dusting herself off as she started to back away from me. She held fear in her swollen eyes. I couldn't let her go back into the forest where she came from, she’d freeze to death tonight if she did.

I was at a loss as to what to do. Do I attempt to get Mila before the little girl is out of my sight or do I try and stop her, leaving the sight of Mila? My mind was made up when I saw her retreating further away from me. I followed after her quickly, she turned and slowed a little before turning.

“Please, don’t hurt me.” Her voice was small and quiet. “The other bad guys already hurt my Mom and Dad.”

“It’s alright,” I cautioned her like she would flee at any second. “I won’t hurt you.”

“I can’t find my Mom and Dad,” her eyes welled up again. “They told me to run far away from the bad guys but I can’t find them now.”

“I’ll help you find them, you just need to come with me so I can have my friend help us,” I stood in front of her, kneeling down to be eye level with her.

“No! We need to go find them now,” her voice whined, her feet starting to move again.

“Okay,” I eased. “What is your name?”

“Lily,” her voice whispered.

“Alright, Lily,” I saw the small tears slide down her cheeks. “My name is, Dahlia. Do you remember where you last saw your Mom and Dad?”

“I don’t remember.” She had a pout to her, almost like a panic. “We slept in a hole last night, it was dark and cold.The floor kept scraping my knees.”

“Okay,” I sighed, thinking that if it was a hole, it’d be along the riverbank. Especially if it was rocky, it’d be towards the side of the mountain.

Lily grabbed my hand suddenly, yanking me forward with all her might. I turned and saw Mila was gone and I cranked my neck to try and find sight of her. I didn't see her, I didn't see anybody. I felt a bad feeling creep into my gut, this was a bad idea. I didn't want to scare this girl though, she was skittish already as it is.

“Say, Lily, we could find you Mom and Dad faster if my friends would help. Can we go back and find them?” My voice was light and offering, trying not to sound like I was ordering her to do anything.

“My, Mommy, tells me not to let strangers take me places.” She stopped walking, clutching her small arms around herself.

“But we aren't strangers, you know my name and I know yours. We’re friends now,” I tried to persuade her.

“Daddy, also says don’t listen to what they’re saying.” Her cheeks were flushed red, her breath visible in the air.

“Your, Daddy, is smart,” I muttered mostly to myself. “Do you know where the riverbank is?”

“There was water by the hold we slept in,” she unwrapped her arms from around herself.

“That’s good,” I encouraged. “Do you want to show me where it is?”

She nodded, grabbing my hand and dragging me forwards. Marcus was going to murder me, this was completely dangerous. This was stupid, but I couldn't just pick her up and haul her back to the Hanger. Her screaming would be heard and I’d traumatize the poor girl more than she already has been. I unwillingly followed her, looking behind me, hoping to see a familiar face coming to help me.

I kept a sharp eye out as she kept walking, stumbling over some uprooted trees or branches every once in awhile. I could see the sun slowly descending as I impatiently followed further and further into the forest. The trees grew closer together and the ground grew more uneven and rocky.

I looked down at my feet as the mountain’s roots started come above ground and Lily struggled to keep her footing even. I was about to pick her up, to help her when I saw a glint in the sunlight peeking through the trees. There were multiple bullet casings around me, still shiny but used. I looked around us, knowing that we could have been followed or watched this entire time.

“Lily, do you want help walking? I can carry you,” I offered, praying that she’d say yes so I could get a move on towards where her parents were.

She stopped and turned, holding her arms out to me. I picked her up, feeling that she was freezing as she nuzzled her face into my coat. “I’m cold,” she complained.

“Me too,” I breathed, hoping that I’d find her parents alive and with a fire or something.

I kept a sharp eye as I ignored Lily getting heavier and heavier in my arms as the sun started to sink deeper and deeper into the horizon. Thankfully, I saw water up head as I heard the current run through the mountain side. The trees thinned out dramatically and Lily poked her head up from the warmth of my scarf and looked around.

“I don’t want to see the mean men again,” she nuzzled her face back into my scarf as I heard her mutter the words.

“I don’t think the mean men are around.” I assured her. They would have killed us by now if they were. “Do you know where you Mom and Dad are now? Do you remember?”

She looked around and pointed her finger to a dark hole some yards away and I set her down. She ran off ahead of me and I almost called after her to slow down because there was ice around us but my blood ran colder than the air when I saw a red dot hovering around me. I took off, grabbing Lily in the process as gunshots fired off in the air. She covered her ears as her screamed were masked by the noise of the guns. I couldn't see the shooters but I knew that if I didn't keep running and moving, a bullet would eventually get me or Lily.

Lily jumped from my arms as she dove into the hole and I followed. The hole was odd, it went deep and it was a tight fit. I knew why her parents picked this one, the shooters couldn't maneuver their guns around in here but surely they could maneuver a grenade or something if they wanted too. It wasn't completely pitch black around us, some light poke through the cracks of the rock that surrounded us.

“My Mommy won’t wake up,” I heard her huffed from the back of the hole.

I looked over and saw her tiny frame shaking her Mother’s stiff body. Her Father was behind her, lying just as still. I felt a different kind of shiver run down my spine as I realized that they were dead. Lily didn't understand that yet, how could she? She was young.

“Why won’t they wake up?” Her voice trembled and I watched her try to shake her Father awake.

I crawled over next to her, hesitantly pressing my fingers to her Father’s cold neck. There was nothing, he was as stiff as a rock. I did the same to her, Mother, feeling no pulse. My hand had blood on it when I pulled it back and I knew foul play was a part in this. They were probably trying to protect Lily by telling her to run and tried to hide from the same shooters that are still trying to reach us.

“Lily, your parents are sleeping,” I started, not knowing how to explain this to her.

“They never sleep like this though.” I could hear her sobs working their way to the surface.

“This sleep is different. You see, when people are hurt like your Mom and Dad were, they sleep for a very long time. Sometimes, though, they don’t wake up because their bodies are tired and need a break,” I stopped, feeling as if I wasn't making any sense. “Your parents though, they’re asleep but they’re still around you. They’ll sleep for a long time but they’ll always be with you, Lily. Do you understand?”

“So I’m alone? My Mom and Dad won’t wake up?” Her eyes looked panicked in the darkness as her hands clung to my coat, “They’re my Mom and Dad though, they said they’d always be with me.”

“And they are,” I hushed her quietly, so the shooters wouldn't hear her. “They are all around you all the time, they’re just invisible.”

“I want to see them though, why can’t I see them?” I heard her ask through her sobs.

“I--I don’t know, sweetheart. Sometimes there are things you can’t answer. Your Mom and Dad are here though, I can feel it.” I wasn't planning on explaining death to a six year old today and I feel like I just ruined her day so much more than it already has been.

“I want my Mom and Dad,” she wailed into my coat.

“I know, Lily. I know, you have to be strong though, okay? You’re Mom and Dad were strong,” I assumed. “Do you want to be strong like your Mom and Dad?”

I felt her nod against my coat and I leaned against the rocky wall, moving away from her parent’s corpses. “Then you need to be quiet so the bad men don’t find us.”

I felt her breath shudder as she tried to calm herself and I hugged her tightly. She curled into me and I did my best to try and keep her warm as I waited for the night to take its hold on us.

_______________________________________________________________________________

“I’m cold,” Lily whispered into the night are some hours later. She had stayed quiet like I told her too and I felt her shivers collide with mine as I felt my lungs sting with each inhale of oxygen.

“Me too,” I nodded. She looked up at me and I saw her pale face even in the darkness, the blood leaving her face as it pooled around her main organs to keep them warm. “Here,” I moved her, shrugging my coat off and wrapping it around her, “wear this, it’ll warm you up.”

The cold air gripped me harder as I told myself over and over that Lily needed the coat more than I did. I curled up into myself as much as I could, feeling tiredness also creeping up on me. I knew I couldn’t fall asleep though, I might not wake up if I did. Lily looked stiller than before as the thought ran through my head.

“Lily,” I shook her awake, “you need to stay awake, okay? Don’t fall asleep.”

“I’m tired,” I heard her whisper in a croak.

“Me too, but you can’t sleep. You need to stay awake so you can get warm,” I lied, making up some excuse so I didn't bring more death into the conversation than it already had been today.

I felt her head nod against me as I felt myself shaking more and more. I didn't know what time it was during the night or if Mila had made it back and told Marcus that I was missing. For all I knew, I was a lost cause until the morning. I could feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness as my fingers and nose went numb with my feet. I was startled to life though when I could hear footsteps outside of the hole and I held Lily closer to me as I saw a light being shined in.

“I can’t really see anything,” I heard a voice whisper and almost cried at the sound of familiarity.

My limbs weren't working right as tried to reach out towards the entrance of the hole. Lily stayed in her place as I crawled forward, shaking so hard I almost fell over. “Jaden,” my voice broke out, echoing throughout the hole.

The light was shined back in immediately as I saw his face peek into the hole. “Oh thank god,” he sighed heavily. “Come on, I’ll give you a head.”

“No, get Lily first,” I rushed, looking back towards her figure hidden under my coat.

“Lily?” He asked, “Dahlia, I don’t see anyone down there with you.”

He crawled in as I back away, his flashlight shining throughout the hole as I looked over to Lily. “She’s right there, under my coat,” my voice shook harshly as I felt like I was laying in a pile of needles.

“Dahlia,” Jaden’s face changed drastically, seeming more disturbed than relieved from a minute ago. “No one else is here.”

“Jaden, what are you talking about she’s right--,” I pulled the coat from Lily but was met with a disturbing sight as I uttered the last word of my sentence, “here.”

“Something is wrong with you,” Jaden started, trying to get to me in the tight space but I shook my head rapidly as I took in the sight.

“No,” I muttered to myself. “I talked to her, I followed her here, Jaden.”

My eyes were glued to the mildly decomposed body of the little girl that I had just talked too. Her parents were the same, some skin missing and their bodies small and shriveled in the shine of the flashlight. My stomach churned unnaturally, surely ready to purge any contents that were in it but I hadn't eaten since yesterday morning.

“Dahlia,” Jaden spoke slowly as I couldn't take my eyes off the rotting corpses. “We need to leave, we can talk about this--,”

“No,” I snapped at him, tears springing to my eyes as I covered my mouth roughly. “I--this isn't happening. She’s not dead, I followed her here. I talked to her..she’s not dead.”

“I hate to point out the obvious, Dahlia,” Jaden started quietly and I whipped my head back around.

“Don’t be an asshole, Jaden,” I gasped as I struggled to catch my breath.

I fell into the wall, my head scraping against the rock as I closed my eyes. My world was spinning and the smell of death slowly filled my nose as I was brought into reality. I’m not crazy, this isn't happening. I couldn't catch my breath and I couldn't keep up with my rapid heartbeat. I was exhausted and in denial that I had just hallucinated this entire thing. I was done, I wanted an exit. I let myself go into darkness, hoping that this was just another nightmare.