We Are the Lovers, We Are the Last of Our Kind

The next morning was tense to say the least. The bell rang but Jaime and I stayed in bed. He was sitting there, his eyes open and just staring at the ceiling. I hated seeing him like this, i wanted him to be okay. But at the same time I was still upset with him for saying those rude things to me last night.

Speaking of last night, it was amazing. Hearing Kellin admitting his feelings for me filled me with butterflies. I hadn’t felt this way in a while. I smiled at the thought but was interrupted by hearing jaime sniffling. I looked back over and he was crying as quietly as possible. I knew that feeling, waking up the morning after crying yourself to sleep then wondering if it was all real or just a bad dream. But when your mind grasps the fact that it actually happened and then you just sit there and cry because that’s all you can do. He moved over to the edge of his bed and looked at me, sadness in his eyes.

“H-Hey,” I heard a voice say from my door.

I looked over to find Kellin brightly smiling and leaning against my door, fiddling with his fingers.

“D-do you wanna watch a movie in the main room tonight?” He said biting his lip. Omg so cute.

I nodded vigorously. He laughed at my eagerness.

“Ok, see you later.” he whispered.

I smiled and he took his towel and walked to the shower room. After he was gone Jaime broke down in sobs. He took his blanket and wrapped himself in it, his body shaking with each sob. I got up, cautiously walked over to his bed and wrapped my arms around him.

“I love you Vic.”

I shook my head and held him tighter, I didn’t want him to love me, it would hurt him.

“Please love me,” he said ever so lightly.

I shook my head again, inhaling a shaky breath.

“Get away,” he said shoving me off of him.

I touched his arm trying to console him.

“Vic, I don’t want to hurt you, get away, I’m not stable right now.”

I took that as a warning and grabbed my towels and headed out of the room looking back at Jaime and sighing.
As I was walking into the changing room Kellin was walking out of the shower area with a towel around his waist and his arms crossed tightly around his torso, probably to hide his scars, if he had any. He looked self-conscious, that was something we had in common. When he spotted me I smiled and he blushed lightly in response. God, this boy was beautiful. The way his wet, black hair was dripping and sticking to his forehead and his huge round eyes were fixed perfectly on me made me want to melt. Once he realized I was staring he quickly looked down. I then went on to go to my corner and get undressed.

After my shower it was time for breakfast. I was walking towards the cafeteria when Kellin caught up to me.

“Why are you walking alone? Where’s Jaime?” he asked quietly.

I shrugged. I knew exactly where he was, still laying in bed. He went back to sleep after I went to take my shower.

“C-Can I eat lunch with you today then?”

I nodded happily in response. We got our food and sat at the table. I was extremely hungry, I tended to eat more when I was stressed. Kellin on the other hand, barely ate. I watched him closely as he picked at his food slowly.

“S-So,” he said slowly. I looked up at him while he spoke, “ D-Do you r-remember what happened? Or was it a dream? Because I tend to think things happened and they didn’t then I feel stupid a-”

I shushed him by putting my finger to his lips. I nodded to let him know I remembered.

“Good,” he sighed.

He was blushing a deep red. God, he was so adorable. He was looking down at his food and picking at it with a fork. I put my hand on his cheek and felt how hot it was.

“S-Sorry, I’m nervous,” he blurted.

My heart filled with complete adoration. I chuckled lowly and gave him a small hug , which he returned. Where do we go from here?

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Later in the day it was time for us to take our medications, I stood in line next to Kellin as he stood there quietly, it was a comfortable silence, not one of those really awkward ones. I spotted Jaime towards the front of the line, they looked through his files, found his medications and gave him a pill along with a small dixie cup filled with water. He put the pill in his mouth and swallowed, eyeing Mitch, our chaperone that was watching everyone making sure they swallowed their pill. I then saw Jaime excuse himself to the restroom. I held up a finger to Kellin, signaling him to wait for a second. I followed behind Jaime to see what he was up to. I walked into the bathroom to see him in the mirror, he took the pill he was supposed to take out from under his tongue and went to a stall and flushed it down the toilet. After coming out of the stall he spotted me.

“Don’t snitch,” he said looking me in the eyes and walking out of the bathroom without another word.

I left the bathroom as well and got back in line with Kellin.

“Is everything ok?” he asked, scrunching his forehead together in the cutest way.

I nodded. He smiled and went back to looking ahead in silence. I examined him as he stood. I had a strong urge to put my hands on his hips. I don’t usually get that close to people ever since my last relationship but I wasn’t really the dominant one, Dylan had control over me, I wondered what it would be like to be the one in control. I would never allow myself to be put in that situation again. My hands slowly crept onto Kellin’s hips as I pulled him closer, into my chest. At first he squeaked in surprise but then relaxed and his cheeks filled with color. He looked at me and smiled, I did the same. I really liked this kid, and if I played my cards right I think I could let myself develop feelings for him without getting hurt.
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It was around 7pm and Kellin and I were on the couch watching Toy Story 3 and somehow it ended up in us cuddling. I was so nervous, I had no idea why, because he seemed to like me but I still needed to get used to this. I could feel that he was at ease. I had him sitting in my lap on the couch with my arms around him, he was leaning back against my chest, I could feel his heartbeat. I was thankful that the main room was cleared out tonight for the most part. Every once in awhile someone would come in and get something, but they would leave right after. Just being able to sit here with Kellin was nice, without being afraid of him doing something bad to me.

The movie ended before curfew so I took Kellin into my room, Jaime wasn’t in there at the moment so Kellin and I could talk openly.

“You can just lay down on my bed, I have to use the bathroom, I’ll be back,” I said lowly in his ear.

“O-Ok,” he stuttered.

I swear his blush never left his face. I hurried to the bathroom trying to calm myself. My stomach was a wreck, it was filled with butterflies. I turned on the water and splashed some on my face. I wanted this right? I wanted to have feelings for someone. So why was I freaking out? I needed to convince myself that I wasn’t going to get hurt again. But in the back of my mind something was stopping me from believing that. It made me think that Kellin would soon turn into Dylan and I just couldn’t risk that happening. I needed to end things with Kellin now. I looked at myself in the mirror upset that I couldn’t let my past go. I quickly hurried back down the hall to see people crowding around my room and I could hear yelling and crying. Oh shit, Jaime.

“Why the fuck are you even in here!?” I heard Jaime yell as I tried to push through the crowd.

“V-Vi-” I heard Kellin screaming and crying.

The people standing at my door continued to watch. I finally got past them right as Jaime pulled back his hand to swing at Kellin. I was able to use all my strength to push Jaime down since he was bigger than me.

“You’re a fucking slut and you took him! And now you have the nerve to lounge around in my room,” Jaime said pointing to Kellin while getting up to lunge at him again.

I blocked Jaime the best I could until Tony heard from across the hall and came over to help me hold him back, he didn’t have that hard of a time considering he was way bigger than Jaime.

I went and leant over Kellin letting him hang on to me, not saying anything because other people were in there. Eventually the counselors took Jaime away and put him in the isolation room and everyone left. Kellin was laying against me sobbing into my chest.

“I-I don’t e-even know what I did,” he sobbed.

“Shhh. You’re ok,” I said rubbing his back.

“V-Vic what’s going on?,” he said looking up at me.

“I’ll tell you about that later, right now you need to calm down, we don’t need you to have another panic attack,” I said softly.

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At 10:00 pm it was time to sleep. They always checked to make sure everyone was in their assigned room so Kellin had to go back, but we both put socks between the door so it wouldn’t lock all of the way. He was going to come back after the counselors checked the rooms and sleep in here since Jaime was gone. But I felt uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed as him because that’d be moving way too fast. I decided that I couldn’t break off things with Kellin just because I was scared, I liked him way too much. He was too precious.

I heard my door slide open and Kellin’s feet shuffled in, he had a blanket around him and his hair was super messy, he gave me a half-smile. He was perfect. He decided to sleep in my bed because after what Jaime just did he didn’t feel comfortable around anything of Jaime’s so I agreed to sleep in Jaime’s bed.

“Hi,” he giggled.

“Hi,” I said opening my arms to him.

He fell into my embrace and sighed.

“Do you feel better?” I whispered.

He nodded. We sat there and cuddled for a little bit, I kept looking at his small, soft, pink lips. I wanted so badly to kiss him, but I didn’t know how he would take it. I decided that I should take a risk and just do it anyways.

“I want to try something, if you don’t want it tell me to stop and I will.”

He nodded. I slowly leant forward and pressed my lips to his. He jumped in surprise at first, but then settled into it. He tasted like bubble gum, which made me want to giggle a little. He put his hand on my neck to deepen the kiss. He was becoming more dominant and that scared the hell out of me. I quickly jerked away.

“W-Was it too much? I-I’m sorry, I could go back to my room if you w-”

“No, I want you here, it was just moving a little fast.”

He nodded.

“Get some sleep,” I said pecking him on the lips once more and moving so he could get under the covers.

I went to Jaime’s bed and got under the covers as well. That night I slept happily. Yes, I was actually happy. That was a feeling I definitely wasn’t used to.