We Are the Lovers, We Are the Last of Our Kind

It has been a week since Kellin and I’s movie date and things have been going really well. No one knew where Jaime was. Ever since he tried to fight Kellin and the counselors took him away no one has seen him, I was starting to get worried. Even though I was highly pissed at him for even trying to lay a finger on Kellin. Speaking of Kellin, we were getting extremely close, we spent as much time as possible together, he has even been sleeping in my room because of Jaime’s absence. When in private we would cuddle in my bed, kiss a little, listen to music and talk about anything and everything, when in public he never left my side, he held my hand firmly and let me lead him everywhere. People in the asylum were talking about us, about me mostly. It was probably because they thought I was jumping from Jaime to Kellin and the commotion Jaime had caused by trying to fight Kellin. Little do they know that it was never like that with Jaime and I. I don’t think Kellin even knew if me and Jaime ever had a thing going on, he never asked questions, but I bet he was wondering. We hadn’t put a label on us yet, and to be honest, I was scared to.

I was currently laying in Jaime’s bed while Kellin occupied mine. The bell had not rung yet, but I was up, I had a lot on my mind so I couldn’t sleep well. I was thinking about home. It was weird because I never thought about home. I held a grudge against my family because none of them had even attempted to call or visit me after they put me in this hellhole. Not even my brother Mike, it’s a shame because I thought we were closer than that, I guess not.

“Morning.” I heard Kellin say from across the room.

“Morning,” I said back quietly

I got up and walked over to my bed on the other side of the room. I pulled back his covers and got in next to him. He scooted over a bit so I was comfortable and bit his bottom lip out of nervousness. I thought since we had been around each other so much that he would become used to me but I guess not. I pulled him into my arms and kissed his forehead, he giggled in response.

“What were you thinking about?” Kellin wondered.

“Nothing, just life you know?”

He nodded in response. Then the bell rang to go take showers. We both sat up and I stayed in bed for a bit while Kellin gathered his things to go shower.

“You coming?” he grinned at me.

“Yea in a bit,” I said returning the smile.

He came over and gave me another hug, then pulled back and looked me up and down with a smirk on his face, his big gorgeous eyes making me feel tingly on the inside.

“You are so gorgeous,” I said not thinking.

I hadn’t realized that I said that out loud until he started blushing, I instantly felt embarrassed.

“And you are handsome,” he said looking down.

He looked back up at me before taking a little piece of my hair, twirling it between his fingers and giving me a little peck on the lips. Honestly, Kellin was too good for me, he was stunning, and there was nothing that stood out about me, except my scars, which Kellin hadn’t seen yet, thank God that the asylum required us to wear long sleeve white shirts and white sweatpants. I already told Kellin that I had scars, he just hadn’t seen them with his own eyes, I was worried about how he would take it.

“I’ll see you in a bit,” he said walking out of the room, his perfect little hips swaying from side to side.

I continued to sit on the bed and think about where the hell Jaime was. It was my fault he was gone anyways, but then again I couldn’t force myself to have feelings for him.

“Hey, Vic,” I heard a voice with a thick English accent say, looked over to see one of the patients named Oli standing at my door.

I looked up at him with a straight face acknowledging his presence.

“Do you know where Jaime is? We haven’t seen him in a while and we’re getting kinda worried”

I shook my head and looked back down at my hands. I fucking wish I knew where Jaime was, if they only knew how much I was freaking out on the inside.

“Uh, yea I know he’s your best mate and you’re probably worried so if you need anyone to talk t- well you don’t really talk, so just someone to be around my friends and I are here ya know.”

I was honestly touched by his offer to be there for me so I looked up and gave him a little half smile. He was an extremely friendly guy who really did not deserve all of the shit he went through, well then again none of us deserved the things we went through. He was just a really good person, I knew he was friends with Kellin because they had started hanging around each other during the awkward time when Kellin didn’t talk to me because he was confused about me and Jaime’s relationship.

This thing with Jaime is all my fault I hated myself even more for doing this to him. I began to get frustrated and pace the room. Why can’t things ever be ok? I just wanted to get better, to get out of this place. I angrily kicked the wall. When I did that I heard something metal fall to the floor. I looked down at the shiny object and realized it was a razor. I examined the wall and found a part near base where it meets the floor that the wallpaper was lifted a little bit. The person here before me probably used to tuck the razor in there to hide it from the counselors. I bent down and picked it up from the floor. I flipped it around in my hands for a little feeling the cold surface. This was tempting, I hadn’t had a razor in months. I could use this right now, with everything that was going on this was much needed. I felt a comfort when having a razor in my hands, I had the ability to control the pain I felt, I had power. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with the object just yet, I was risking being under really tight supervision if I got caught. I opened the drawer in my desk in the room and put my weapon there for safekeeping.

I realized Kellin was probably worrying about where I was so I grabbed my towels and headed for the changing rooms. When I got in there I saw Kellin talking with Alan and Austin, a cute but strange couple in the asylum, I say they’re strange because they are complete opposites, Alan was jumpy and always moving around, literally. Austin was more of the quiet type he was always to himself, he was happy though, he was always smiling.

I moved to my corner of the room trying not to bring any attention to myself. I was about to take off my shirt when Kellin came up to me.

“I was starting to get worried,” he smiled.

I smiled back and just nodded since Alan and Austin were in the room. He got closer and hugged me, we have been doing a lot of that. I accepted his hug and we stayed like that for a while. I could feel Alan and Austin’s eyes on us.

“If you need me I’ll be in the main room with them. Ok?”

I nodded.

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It was almost curfew and Kellin and I were laying in bed. What started off as little cute kisses turned into a full on make out session. I hadn’t done this in a while so it was different, but a good kind of different. I was the one in control this time. I was laying down on my back and he was laying directly on top of me. I had one hand on the back of his neck and another on his hip, holding him in place. He smelled like bubblegum and I loved it. Both of our tongues were fighting for dominance, I was winning at the moment. I noticed when we were making out that Kellin would make the most adorable little moans ever. They were barely audible, if I didn’t listen close enough I wouldn’t hear it. I trailed my hand up and down his back slowly. It was getting heated and I was getting a little too excited, and so was he. He jumped away suddenly, his perfect pink lips swollen from kissing and his cheeks painted red.

“What’s wrong?” I said quietly.
“N-Nothing,” he said moving to one side of the bed and crossing his legs and putting a pillow in his lap.

I knew what was wrong then, he was embarrassed about having a boner, it was so cute and it made me want to laugh a little.

I chuckled lowly and reached over and pecked him on the lips.

“Got a problem down there I see,” I said against his lips.

He just turned a darker shade of red sinking into the bed more.

“Don’t be embarrassed, it’s actually kind of adorable,” I said kissing his cheek.

He began to smile too but the redness on his cheeks stayed there.

“S-Sorry,” he giggled.

“Nothing to be sorry for, wanna go to the bathroom and take care of it?”

He nodded and stood up covering his front part and quickly scurried out of the room. After he was gone I laughed to myself about how amazingly cute Kellin was. He was back in about 10 minutes.

“You good?” I chuckled.

“Stop making me feel awkward about this,” he giggled, putting his hands over his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was after curfew and Kellin had already made his way back into my room like he had been doing for the past week. He came to my bed for a little bit of cuddling before sleeping. He was sitting in between my legs and I was hugging him from behind.

“Kells?” I said, proud of the new nickname I made for him.

“Hmmm?” he hummed.

“Will you be my boyfriend?” I rushed out.

He seemed taken back by my sudden question.

“So, by being your boyfriend what advantages will I get?” he said, I could tell he was smirking.
I chuckled.

“Um, well I would treat you like a prince at all times, I will kiss you to sleep every night, I won’t ever hurt you and we could even make our relationship public,” I said hoping his answer was a yes.

“Of course I’ll be your boyfriend, silly, I was joking.”

I hastily pulled him in for a soft and tender kiss that lasted for a while. I pulled back and placed a small kiss on his nose, to which he squeaked in response. He was smiling and he looked flawless, even in the dark. This was the beginning of an important chapter in my life.