This Love Was Out of Control

Rita POV

What am I going to do? Not only is this going to change my life, but it’s going to change Vic’s too, maybe even the rest of Pierce the Veil too. I can’t do that to him, me sure, but him never. I would rather give up my dream, than him give up his. I love him too much to do that but I wanted to be selfish and think he’ll do it for me. We have been dating for three years; he would if I wanted him too, right? I shook my head. I can’t think like that because I want him to be happy and I know giving up his dream is going to make him anything but happy. He loves to tour and I want him to be, no matter if I am or not.

I got up and took the test and the box and left the bathroom. I put the test back in the box and threw it deep into the trashcan. I took a deep breath before heading over to the pharmacy to get the prenatal pills. The paper said to take one in the morning and before I go to sleep. I needed to come up with some reason to leave Vic so he wouldn’t be suspicious. Last thing I would want is for him to find me and figure out I was pregnant, even if it is his child.

I went home and started packing, Vic would think it’s for the start of tour but it’s really for me to leave. Since Vic leaves Wednesday, his stuff is already packed and by the front door waiting for him. I have to do it tomorrow or Wednesday, sometime before he leaves. That has the greater possibility that he’ll leave me alone and not come looking for me, rather than me disappearing when he leaves.

*Next day*

It’s now or never. He leaves tomorrow at around 4 in the morning and I know I won’t be able to get up that early. I sat down in the kitchen after cooking and watching some TV. I was waiting for Vic to come home, because he never did yesterday, I was hoping he stayed with Jaime because this would be a lot easier if he stayed there than come here.

I heard the front door open and heard Vic walk in before closing and locking it behind him. “Honey, I’m home!” I heard him yell, I didn’t answer I stayed quiet and sat in the kitchen, wondering if I’m making the right choice. “Rita?” I heard him say before walking into the kitchen. When he saw me he gave me a kiss before standing up and heading in the room, it isn’t my room anymore, to change his clothes.

“Vic we need to talk.” I told him in a monotone voice trying to hide what I was going to say. He came back and sat down across from me with a worried look on his face.

“What’s up?” Vic asked me worried.

“I’m not going on tour. I’m not staying here anymore. I’m leaving and you can’t change my mind.” I tell him, saying it all before he can speak. After I’m finished he sits there trying to comprehend what I just said and when he does he looks at me. I see the look of confusion, anger, sadness and pain plastered on his face and I can’t look at him anymore before I break down. I have to stay strong, if not for me than for him.

“What do you mean? Why?” Vic asked me raising his voice a little louder than before. “You can’t do this!” Vic said yelling at me now. I had to stay calm for him, his child and me.

“I can and I will and you won’t stop me.” I tell and everything leaves his face blank, before all I see is confusion and anger.

"You told me you’d never leave! He shouted to me. I felt the guilty feelings bubble up in the pit of my stomach. I ignored them and turned back to him.

"I also said I was a free-spirit. Didn't I?" I sneered at him. I didn't want to hurt him, but he had a career ahead of him, I wasn't going to be the one to stop it. He was too young, and even though I was too, I loved him enough to let him live his dream and give mines up.

“Then why stay all these years? Why settle down with me? Why move in? Why do all of this if you were going to break it off with me before a tour?” Vic asked me yelling now and not even bothering to control his voice.

“Because I’m doing this for you! Dammit you make it so hard to leave you and I don’t want to but I have to!” I tell him hoping he leaves it at that, I said too much already.

“Then don’t leave! Fuck, just stay here forever with me!” Vic yells to me, losing some of his strength.

“I can’t Vic. If I could I’d tell you.” I sigh telling him.

“Why can’t you? Huh, what are you so scary you have to leave and can’t tell me? What’s making you leave me and why play these sick little games?” Vic shouted to me getting angry all over again.

“Listen I don’t have to and I’m not. I’m leaving tonight, I have a plane to catch and you’re going to make me late.” I tell him before getting my bags and leaving the apartment, I saw the neighbors next door look at me and I smiled to reassure them everything’s ok. Even when we both know it was far from ok, more like I’m going through hell and back, but it’ll be worth it when he’s famous and forgot about me. I just hope I can forget about him.