The Trouble With Lust Is...

I looked at the Christmas decorations as Miriam and I walked along Fifth Avenue. She told me about her dreams of marrying a rich rock star, and eventually shopping at this expensive shopping district. I sipped on my hot chocolate and smiled. She looked silly in her oversize animal hat with extra fur.

I looked at my reflection in the display glass, and sighed. It had been over two months, and I hadn’t spoken to Trey. I just didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how he’d react after I moved out. Maybe I should’ve talked to him instead of leaving some silly little note, but I couldn’t see him. My feelings and pride was hurt.

Miriam and her sister Lovely accepted me with open arms even though they barely knew me. Miriam a Hispanic like me said we had to stick together, especially since I didn’t know anyone from this city. She didn’t want me living alone. She was a 20 year old junior at her collage who volunteered at my internship for the experience.

“So, what are you getting me for Christmas?” she joked.

I shrugged “A life?” I replied as I took another sip of my drink.

“Tuh, I wish! Maybe I should get you one of those; maybe you wouldn’t be moping around like a sad sack. It’s been what two months, and you haven’t gotten over that ass-munch?” She pulled me into a store, and I sighed.

She was right; I was a sad pathetic loser. Here I was in possibly one of the best cities ever with a sad mind. Everything I did made me think of him, and I couldn’t snap out of it. I’m an eighteen year old college freshmen with a bright future, but lately I’ve just seen myself as this lonely pathetic loser with no love life. “I know I should but I can’t. I know I’m lame.”

She grabbed a few things, and we headed for a dressing room. I stood outside of it, and continued to ramble on.
She came out a few times, modeling the clothes, but never satisfied with any of it. “Well, you need to get laid. Sex will definitely distract you. I have tons of cousins who will love to poke a hole in you. Maybe even make you their next baby mama.”

I laughed because she knew what to say to help me from feeling like a complete idiot. “But I don’t want sex. What I want, I should stay away from. Besides I’ve met a few of your cousins, and no offense but some of them are crazy. Like your cousin Raphael. He smelled like weed, and every time he spoke to me he kept licking his lips, and staring at my boobs.”

“That’s how he communicates with the ladies. Plus, he can get his hands on anything I need. Argo, he’s a keeper.” She walked out with the last outfit, and sighed.

“Ah, thanks but I’m good. I’d rather be a lonely cat lady.” I finished off my drink and headed toward a garbage bin. Looking around, I spotted Trey, and nearly dropped to the floor.

Miriam came from behind me with a loose shirt in her hand, oblivious. “So, I like this shirt but—“

I pulled her down to the ground with me, and whispered. “Trey just walked into the store. We have to sneak out, he can’t see me.”

She looked over the rack of clothes, and smiled. Pulling me up forcefully she explained “Girl, please. What are the odds of him coming into the same clothing store as you, it’s got to be fate. Besides, you look great. That new hair cut, and color looks good on you. Side-swept bangs bring out your face shape. Not to mention how great you look in those jeans and my leather jacket looks punk of you. Now stand still while I fix your hair.” She shook the braid out of my hair, and combed it lightly.

I quickly applied some lip gloss. We walked slowly toward the registers where Trey could see us, and waited for him to take the bait. Miriam looked over her shoulder slowly, and huffed. “He’s not paying attention; I have to get him to look over here.” She looked around, and dramatically fell to the ground taking a store mannequin with her.

I covered my face from the embarrassment as she loud rants about there being an invisible water spot on the floor. I helped her up when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

“Dreya?”

I turned around and smiled. I forgot how piercing his eyes were as they looked at mine. He smiled, than looked at Miriam. She dusted off her pants as she held on to my arm. “Well that was fun!” she looked up, and her eyes lit up as she noticed Trey. “Well hello stranger.”

“Hey Miriam, are you okay? You sounded like you cracked your head on the floor.” He continued to look at me.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just clumsy I guess.” She looked to his left and smiled. “Hi, I’m Miriam, who are you?”

Trey’s friend looked at Miriam and chuckled lightly. He was taller than Trey, and he had beautiful green eyes with skin the color of caramel. “I’m Jason, nice to meet you Miriam.” He looked at me and replied “You must be Sandreya.”

I blushed. “Yeah, nice to meet you.”

Trey cleared his throat replying “So, what have you been up to?”

I wasn’t sure if I could speak to him without my voice cracking, I looked pleadingly at Miriam, and she smiled. “She’s been around, what about you? Where have you been? Who… I mean, what have you been doing?”

Trey looked amused responding “School, work; the usual. Jason works at this gym I go to. When you moved out I needed something to distract me from how empty it’s been so I joined his gym.”

My hands were sweating and I had the urge to puke. “That’s cool; anyway, it was nice seeing you.” I grabbed Miriam by her elbow and dragged her away.

“W-wait, we’re about to get some lunch, do you two wanna join us?” he looked hopeful, but I didn’t want to be anywhere near him. He made my insides melt, and I hated how he still affected me.

“Uh, I don’t know. I—“

Miriam bumped my arm replying “Yeah we can go for some pizzas.” She then looked at me wide-eyed.

I sighed because I knew I couldn’t get out this even if I tried. “Uh, sure. I guess.”

He smiled at us, and led the way out of the store. I looked at Miriam and wanted to strangle her. “What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to kill me? I can’t believe you right now!”

She shrugged her shoulders retorting “Well if this is the only way to keep you from walking around like a zombie then so be it. I don’t care what you say, what lies you tell yourself, I know you feel something for him. It doesn’t matter that he’s a total jackass; I just want you to be happy. Maybe this can be closure.”

For my sake I hoped she was right.

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