I Want Crazy

Monday.

Tom sat in the cafeteria with a tray of food in front of her. Her french fries and hamburger were barely touched, however the straw in her soda cup had seen better days. With Tom’s nervousness to talk to Jim about the Kobayashi Maru test, she hadn’t stopped chewing on it since she sat down. She was still very unsure how she was going to convince Jim to take the test. Tom knew that no matter what she said, Jim was always going to say no. Sadly, she’d even considered depriving him of sex until he would agree to take the test at least once.

Captain Pike had made it seem like Tom was the only chance in Jim ever going anywhere in his StarFleet career. Even though both of them knew Jim wasn’t any kind of pencil pusher, it looked like that was where he was headed if he didn’t take and pass the unpassable test. Pike had made it perfectly clear that he didn’t want Jim’s life to go any other way. Pike saw a lot in Jim, as did Tom, but he was smart enough to know that Jim wouldn’t take much heed in his words.

Tom continued to look at the door to her left every time she heard it swoosh open. She kept glancing at her watch, knowing very well Jim would be late. The two had agreed to meet for an early dinner so they could have the rest of the night to study and then participate in other extracurricular activities.

The blonde groaned, slouching in her seat and sticking a fry into her mouth. “Shoulda known.” Tom mumbled to herself. She bounced her leg up and down quickly. “Jack ass was never gonna show.”

“You talkin’ to yourself, Tommy?” A voice said behind her.

Tom turned her head to see Jim standing just behind her, reaching to put a hand on her back. “No, I was just - ”

“Complaining to yourself about how I wasn’t gonna show.” Jim said, moving around the table to sit across from Tom.

Tom pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at him. “I hate that you know me so well.” Tom watched as Jim took his seat and began stealing food from her tray. “So what held you up this time?”

“There was this girl…” Jim said with a smirk.

“Why am I surprised?”

“You really shouldn’t be. Considering you know me just about as well as I know you.”

“I just swore that I was the only girl in your life.” Tom joked with a hand on her heart.

“Far from it actually.” Jim admitted.

Tom laughed. “That’s, uh,” she paused, “that’s what I like to hear.” Tom recalled the real reason why she wanted to meet Jim for dinner and look down, staring at her tray. She picked up her drink and started chewing on her straw again.

Jim studied her for a moment. “You okay, Tom?” he asked.

Tom looked up at him through her lashes, dropped her cup back to the table and nodded quickly. “Yeah, I, uh, I’m good.”

“Okay.” Jim said slowly, not at all believing her. “Is there something you wanted to talk about? Normally our study nights don’t start here.”

“Yeah, actually, there is.” Tom said, looking down at her hands, picking at her fingernails. She bit her lip and looked to Jim. “Have you ever heard of the Kobayashi Maru?”

Jim furrowed his brow. “Yeah, that’s some sorta test, isn’t it?”

Tom nodded. “It’s the captain’s test. If you take it and you pass, you can become captain of a Federation Ship.”

“Sounds like a lot of work.”

“I imagine that it is. Only, maybe easy as pie for you.”

Jim jerked his head to the side with furrowed brows, a little taken aback. He smirked and leaned forward on the table. “Are you suggesting that I take this test?”

Tom took a deep breath, straightening her shoulders. “Actually, yes. I am.”

Jim leaned back in his chair and laughed a little bit.

“What’s so funny?”

“Just that you’d even think that.” Jim let her know. “I’m not gonna take the test. I’m not really into being a captain.”

“Have you even thought about it?” Tom asked.

“Yeah. And I don’t want to be one.”

Tom sighed. “Could you at least take the test? You know, it doesn’t hurt to see how you do. If anything, you pass, you’ve got it on your resume. You don’t have to be captain for people to be impressed that you passed this test.”

“I’m not gonna take the test.” Jim told her.

Tom scoffed. “Well, why not?”

“Well, it’s a test, right?” Jim asked, earning a nod from Tom. “It’s a test that I don’t have to take.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Why would I willingly sign up for a test I don’t have to take?”

Tom laughed. “Plenty of reasons. Mostly because if you take it and pass, you can stop what you do now, and be a freaking captain.”

Jim smiled. “So, this is about me being a captain.”

Tom just stared at him, not answered.

He laughed. “You don’t even know what I do now.”

Tom scowled. “No, I don’t. Will you just freakin’ tell me already? I’m really tired of this stupid game.”

Jim smirked and laughed at her. “I’m not gonna take this stupid test.”

“Kirk, c’mon.” Tom begged.

“Don’t ‘Kirk’ me, Parker.”

Tom sighed and thought for a moment. “Okay, look, will you do me a favor?” She asked.

“I can do you plenty.” Jim winked.

Tom ignored his flirt and continued. “Will you just look at all the things that you’re good at and tell me which you’re best at?”

“I’m sure you could tell me just fine.”

“I’m serious.” Tom said, not laughing. “Be serious for ten minutes.”

Jim groaned and moved his head around in a circle, small cracking come from the bones. “Okay, I make a pretty good omelette.”

“You’re a leader, Jim.” Tom said, ignoring Jim’s bullshit answer. “A natural-born leader. And a damn good one, at that. If you take this test, if you become captain, imagine the missions, the discoveries, everything that you could do. You could be following ifn your dad’s footsteps.”

“My father was captain for fifteen minutes.” Jim reminded.

“Twelve.” Tom corrected.

“Fifteen. Twelve.” Jim held up both his hands and moved them up and down to demonstrate that he was close.

“I’ve read the Pike’s dissertation on it backwards and forwards. I know everything that happened that day.” Tom told him. “I know you know it, too. As well as I do, if not better.” Tom bit her lip studying Jim as he stared at the tray full of food. “You should take the test, Jim.” she said softly.

“I’m not taking the test.” Jim insisted.

Tom scoffed. “Then what are you even doing here?”

Jim furrowed his brow and cocked his head to the side.

“What are you doing at the academy if you’re not trying to go anywhere or do anything?” Tom asked.

“I’m doing stuff.”

“What stuff, Jim?”

“I don’t have to tell you.” Jim defended.

Tom leaned her elbows on the table, holding her hands together in front of her. “Do you know how many people who would kill to be in your position? First, you’re here on merit alone. Before you got here, you spent your nights getting into bar fights so you can show the world that you’re in control. You got here because Pike recruited you. On merit alone. When the rest of us had to work to get here. It’s bull shit that you won’t even consider it.”

Jim look at her, pursing his lips.

“Do something, Jim. Be something.” Tom said, pushing her chair away from the table to get up.

“Ah, Tommy, c’mon.” Jim said, protesting her leaving. “We’re supposed to study.”

“I’ll study on my own.” She insisted, walking away from the table, leaving Jim with her trash. As she approached the door, she looks down at her feet moving, and reaches to scratch the back of her neck. She wasn’t looking where she was going and bumped into another person. Tom apologized once and started to continue on her trek back to her room.

“Hey!” the person said to get her attention.

“Look, I’m sorry. It won’t happen…” Tom looked up and turned back to the person, “again.”

“Hey, Tom.” The man said with a smile.

“Grey.” Tom said, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Hi.” She took a few steps closer to him so they weren’t shouting the few feet between them. Tom took him in, admiring how good he looked; still ditching the uniform for civies. “How’ve you been?”

“Good.” Grey responded. “I’ve been good. What about you?”

Tom nodded, licking her lips. “I’ve been well. Thanks.”

“Good. That’s good.” Grey said, nervously. He scratched at his head, shaking his mop of hair.

Tom took in a deep breath and held her hands together behind her back. She nodded to the man. “Yeah, well, I was about to go study, so I’ll see you around.” Tom started to turn away from Grey, but he put a hand on her arm. Tom felt her face burn red and her eyes shot to Grey’s hand on her.

Grey quickly pulled away. “Sorry.” He wrung his hands together. “I just - You, uh, you never called.”

Tom continued to stare at the spot on her arm. “Yeah, um. I was - ” She stumbled, still confused of the contact she had with Grey. “It’s been really busy for me. Studying and such.” Tom glanced away from her arm and looked to him. “Sorry. It’s just been busy.”

Grey laughed anxiously. “If that’s your way of saying that you’re not interested, I guess I can take it.” He said. “I don’t bruise too easily.”

“No, I’m not - I mean, I am, I just… I don’t, uh,” Tom grinned shyly, looking to her shoes. “I don’t really date.”

Grey shrugged his hands into his jacket pockets. “Then we should call it dinner.” He gestured to the room behind them. “I mean, we’re already here.”

Tom laughed at his request. “I’ve sorta already had dinner.” She thought of the half-eaten tray she left back with Jim. Tom’s thoughts stuck in her head as she tried not to look in that direction, knowing very well that Jim could be watching her.

“Tomorrow, then.”

“I can’t.” She smiled apologetically. “I’ve got a test that I have to retake Thursday night. I’ll be studying religiously until then.”

“So, Friday.” Grey insisted. “Let me take you out. There is a great Italian place in town. I’m pretty sure they know my order by heart.”

Tom thought for a second. “If you make it a burger at the bar, there is no way that I can say no.” She said.

Grey laughed and nodded. “Alright. A burger at the bar. Let’s do it.”

Tom approved. “Friday.”

“It’s a dinner.” Grey announced.

“It’s a dinner.”

!@#$#@!
Wednesday.

“Dad!” Tom said, cheerily into her communicator. She’d been sitting alone in her room, waiting for Thomas’s weekly call to his daughter to come in. “Hey! How’ve you been?” she asked. “How’s the shop?”

“I’m good, Bud.” Thomas was quiet for a second. “The shop is fine. We’re moving along.”

“Yeah? Good. Bobby okay?”

“Bobby’s good. How are things on your end?” he asked.

“They’re, uh, they’re good.”

“You on the high end of all your classes?”

“Of course.” Tom said confidently. “Studying my ass off.” She pushed around her PADDs that she had laying on her bed. “I’m workin’ hard, Dad, I promise you that.”

“Good.” Thomas praised. “Glad to know all your hard work is paying off.”

“It really is.” Tom smiled. “I mean, Captain Pike is impressed, so that’s always good, huh?”

“Pike?” Thomas questioned. “Isn’t he that guy that got you in there to begin with? What’s he doin’ talkin’ to you?”

“Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, Pops, but Pike pulled me out of a test the other day to talk to me about my grades and stuff.” Tom informed her father. “In fact, he was pleased to hear that I was doing well. He also wanted me to get Jim to take some captain’s test, but I don’t think he’s gonna do it.”

“Wait, he pulled you out of a test?”

“I’m gonna make it up! There’s special privilege or something.” Tom guessed, “Anyway, he’s being stupid. I mean, if you had the chance, if you had the brain power to take a captain’s test and pass it, wouldn’t you do it?” Tom groaned. “I just don’t understand why he wouldn’t want this.”

“Tom.”

“He drives me crazy, you know? I feel like I’m doing everything that I can to get him to do this; to get him to be something, and all I’m doing is failing.”

“I’m sure - ”

“I can tell Jim every reason in the book to do this. I can talk to him until his freakin’ ear falls off. I tried to bring up his father, maybe thinking Jim being captain would make his father proud. I can deny him - ” she stopped herself, reminding herself that she didn’t want to mention her sex life to her father.

“Tom?” Thomas asked, wondering if she was still on the line.

“I’m here. Sorry.”

“I’m curious.” He thought. “Why do you care so much?”

Tom furrowed her brow, tilting her head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“What do you care if this Kirk kid is a captain?” Thomas asked. “What difference does it make to you?”

Tom chewed on her lip. “I - I don’t know. I mean, I guess, h-he’s my best friend, you know? I know he can do it. I just want him to live his potential. Like you wanted for me.”

“You’re not his father, Bud.” Thomas laughed.

“Well, no, but he doesn’t have one. He didn’t have someone like you to push him like you did me. Someone’s gotta kick his ass into gear.”

“Are you sure that’s all this is?” her father questioned. “You know, your mother says that you talk about this kid a lot. She’s starting to think there’s something between you two.”

Tom laughed loudly. “A-Are you kidding me? Me and Jim? Like together?” Her laughs slowed and she took a few deep breaths. “That’ll happen when the world freezes.”

“Maybe she’s right.”

“What, Mom?” Tom asked. “Dad, you know Mom. Everything she says is like a Broadway show. If she thinks Jim and I are a thing, it’s something that she’s made up because she wants me to - to settle down, or something.”

Thomas grumbled. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Doesn’t that makes sense?”

“Yes, it does. You’re right.”

Tom sighed. “Jim and I aren’t a thing, Pops. Jim and I can’t be a thing. I’m not…” She paused. “I’m not the ‘thing’ kind of girl.”

“Not yet.” Thomas clarified.

Tom laughed a little. “Don’t get your hopes up.”

“Well, I guess I’ll comm you next week, yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll be here.” Tom promised. “I love you, Dad.”

“Me, too, Bud.”

Tom hung up her communicator and threw it down on her bed. She groaned and pushed her hair out of her face. Tom looked around her at all the PADDs on her bed, wondering where she should get started. She reached for her Tactical Analysis PADD, remembering that her retake test was tomorrow. That was when her door chimed. Tom rolled her eyes. “Identify.”

“Let me in, Tommy.”

Tom grumbled. “Door. Open.” she commanded, watching as the door swished open. “What do you want, Jim?” She asked, shooting her eyes down to the PADD in her lap. “It’s not like I’m in the middle of something.”

“Who was that guy?” Jim asked, sitting himself down on her bed. “That guy from the other day in the cafeteria. Who was he?”

“He’s a guy from - ” She paused, catching herself. Tom looked up to him, narrowing her eyes. “Why do you want to know?”

Jim shrugged. “Curious.”

Tom scoffed. “Sure.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s just a guy.”

Jim laughed. “Yeah, right. Didn’t look like just a guy.”

“Trust me, Jim. He’s just a guy.” She bit her lip and looked back to her PADD.

“I know how you are with ‘guys’, Tom.” Jim told her. “With that guy, whoever he was, you were different with him.”

“Different?”

“Well, when he touched your arm, you turned bright red.”

Tom shook her head, laughing silently.

“Like you’re turning red right now.” Jim pointed out. “I have never seen you that flustered before.”

“I was not flustered.” She argued, looking to him.

“You were practically drooling.”

“Jim!”

“Okay, okay.” He put his hands up in defense. “That was too far.”

“You’re damn right.” Tom insisted. She thought for a moment. “How about this? I’ll tell you about the guy, if you take the test.”

Jim shook his head. “Why do you want me to take this test?”

“Because I know you can do it.”

“Bull shit.” Jim claimed. “How do you even know about it? I - I mean, why would an engineer cadet know about a captain’s test?”

Tom shrugged, looking down at her PADD. “I read about it.”

“You haven’t been reading anything but these PADDs for weeks.” Jim gestured to the PADDs sprawled on her bed. Jim thought for a minute, studying her. “Did Pike talk you into this?”

Tom looked to Jim and furrowed her brow. She shook her head. “When would I have had the chance to talk to Pike. Like you said, I’ve been studying for weeks.”

“Tom, c’mon. Just tell me. Was this Pike’s idea or not?”

“So what if it was?” Tom asked. “It doesn’t mean that I don’t think you can do it. I know, for sure, that you can.”

Jim scoffed at Tom’s words.

Tom sighed, taking him in, and pursing her lips. “There’s something you should know, though.” Tom said.

“Oh, yeah?”

“This test. It’s supposed to be unbeatable.” Tom stared Jim down as his eyes narrowed. “And I’m pretty sure you can prove that dumb ass wrong.”