The Mess I Made.
Six.
Derek
"Derek, why don't you just go to her?" Isaac asked giving me an incredulous look.
I didn't respond. It wasn't that easy, I knew it couldn't be, this was multiple years of hate built up. Even though I knew she didn't hate me, I heard her heart beat jump, but it was obvious she wanted to hate me. I plopped onto the couch and put my hand between my hands and stared at my boots.
Six Years Ago…
"Hi, Der."
Emilia rolled her eyes and Derek stifled a laugh, she hated Kate, but he loved that Emilia was a good enough friend to respect he was in love with her.
"Hey."
Derek planted a soft kiss on her cheek, but she caught him by the jaw and crashed her lips on his. He could smell the anger coming from Emilia, but he didn't know what to do. He was so confused about everything, Emilia said she was fine with Kate, and she understood that Derek needed a break from all the supernatural stuff every once and awhile, Kate was his escape. She was beautiful and just so perfect. Emilia swore up and down that she was up to something, but Derek thought she was just jealous, when he told Emilia that she didn't talk to him for a week and his mom made him take her flowers to make up for it. It wasn't like she ever stayed mad at him anyway.
"Ditch the geek, lets go some alone, Der."
Emilia growled and stalked off leaving the couple alone.
"You don't have to be so mean to her, Kate." Derek said frowning in disapproval.
Kate narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.
"It's me or her, Derek. Choose by tomorrow or I'm gone."
"Kate she's family." Derek argued swallowing hard because he knew Kate always got what she wanted.
"The hell she is, Derek, I'm not stupid. I can tell she likes you, so choose. Her or Me, see you tomorrow, Der."
I clenched my jaw, how stupid could I be? Emilia was there for me through thick and thin, through all the crap I went through. I was a jerk to her and she still stood there, willing to wait all these years. I wasted the time I could've spent with her.
I stood from the couch and stormed out the door to the elevator. I needed air, to go for a run, to get away. As soon as the door I opened I stormed out into the open fields behind the loft. When I came to a stop I looked around and sighed.
"Funny how it all comes rushing back when you're trying to forget it…"
I could feel all of the suppressed memories rushing back in. Long nights at bonfires or just us laying in the field trying to find constellations even though we both sucked at it. Road trips to Huntington beach with our families, falling asleep on each other in the backseat, sharing snow cones. I knew it was what I needed, but I was tired of being a werewolf, Peter said it was a gift, but it just ruined everything. I didn't even have a choice in who I fell for, but I could make one. I knew trying to keep these feelings in the dark wouldn't help me.
I kneel into the field then lay down on my back letting the sun shine brightly onto my face. I stopped suppressing it, there was no point any how, they'd already began making their way back. It felt like a storm was raging inside of me because I'd spent all of these years trying to forget everything. Flipping over her pictures as I walked through the house. I couldn't stay away though.
Laura kept insisting I go after her, we moved to New York, and I was always so close, but she felt so far from me. She'd be out at coffee shops with her friends, laughing, smiling so big her dimples showed. Her mom begged me to say something, but I couldn't, I was a coward.
You could always make up for it…
I opened my eyes and stared into the sun then sat up. I could always make up for it, but did I deserve a chance.
"You're such a coward,Derek! Everybody knew you didn't want it to end! For once in your life, brother, could you stop running away from everything! Stop saying you don't deserve this and that! Those are just excuses, you and I both know it!"
Laura was so mad at me that day, but she was right. I've lost everyone and it was my fault. My stubbornness got in the way, I was so determined to be unhappy that I let the most important thing in my life walk away from me.
She looked so beautiful that day. Her long hair was down and contrasted with the beautiful white dress she had on, but when she smiled as I walked out of the door I could see the sadness. She already knew what I was going to say because she knew I believed that cutting her off was the best thing for me. No matter how much I tried to keep her out she never really left my brain.
I felt the first few drops as I stood outside of the tall building then suddenly it started to pour down. Peter walked out the double door with an umbrella in his hand when he looked up our eyes locked. He gave me a cautious look the looked back up at the building.
"She's inside you know."He said, and I nodded.
"She hasn't left her apartment in a week."
I looked down at my boots feeling guilt wash over me.
"I heard this song on the radio the other day, I believe the lyrics were, " Sometimes goodbye is a second chance."' Peter smirked and walked past, climbed into his car, and drove off.
I shuffled into the door and past the front desk. The woman at the desk looked me over with concur, but kept quiet nonetheless. The elevator ride was quiet aside from the ding as we passed the 1st floor, that silence was shattered as the door opened with a bang. I slowly walked to her apartment then rose my hand to knock on her door, but she opened it before I had the chance.
My eyes widened as I looked down at her, but she wasn't alone like Peter said.
"Stiles?"
"Derek, why don't you just go to her?" Isaac asked giving me an incredulous look.
I didn't respond. It wasn't that easy, I knew it couldn't be, this was multiple years of hate built up. Even though I knew she didn't hate me, I heard her heart beat jump, but it was obvious she wanted to hate me. I plopped onto the couch and put my hand between my hands and stared at my boots.
Six Years Ago…
"Hi, Der."
Emilia rolled her eyes and Derek stifled a laugh, she hated Kate, but he loved that Emilia was a good enough friend to respect he was in love with her.
"Hey."
Derek planted a soft kiss on her cheek, but she caught him by the jaw and crashed her lips on his. He could smell the anger coming from Emilia, but he didn't know what to do. He was so confused about everything, Emilia said she was fine with Kate, and she understood that Derek needed a break from all the supernatural stuff every once and awhile, Kate was his escape. She was beautiful and just so perfect. Emilia swore up and down that she was up to something, but Derek thought she was just jealous, when he told Emilia that she didn't talk to him for a week and his mom made him take her flowers to make up for it. It wasn't like she ever stayed mad at him anyway.
"Ditch the geek, lets go some alone, Der."
Emilia growled and stalked off leaving the couple alone.
"You don't have to be so mean to her, Kate." Derek said frowning in disapproval.
Kate narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.
"It's me or her, Derek. Choose by tomorrow or I'm gone."
"Kate she's family." Derek argued swallowing hard because he knew Kate always got what she wanted.
"The hell she is, Derek, I'm not stupid. I can tell she likes you, so choose. Her or Me, see you tomorrow, Der."
I clenched my jaw, how stupid could I be? Emilia was there for me through thick and thin, through all the crap I went through. I was a jerk to her and she still stood there, willing to wait all these years. I wasted the time I could've spent with her.
I stood from the couch and stormed out the door to the elevator. I needed air, to go for a run, to get away. As soon as the door I opened I stormed out into the open fields behind the loft. When I came to a stop I looked around and sighed.
"Funny how it all comes rushing back when you're trying to forget it…"
I could feel all of the suppressed memories rushing back in. Long nights at bonfires or just us laying in the field trying to find constellations even though we both sucked at it. Road trips to Huntington beach with our families, falling asleep on each other in the backseat, sharing snow cones. I knew it was what I needed, but I was tired of being a werewolf, Peter said it was a gift, but it just ruined everything. I didn't even have a choice in who I fell for, but I could make one. I knew trying to keep these feelings in the dark wouldn't help me.
I kneel into the field then lay down on my back letting the sun shine brightly onto my face. I stopped suppressing it, there was no point any how, they'd already began making their way back. It felt like a storm was raging inside of me because I'd spent all of these years trying to forget everything. Flipping over her pictures as I walked through the house. I couldn't stay away though.
Laura kept insisting I go after her, we moved to New York, and I was always so close, but she felt so far from me. She'd be out at coffee shops with her friends, laughing, smiling so big her dimples showed. Her mom begged me to say something, but I couldn't, I was a coward.
You could always make up for it…
I opened my eyes and stared into the sun then sat up. I could always make up for it, but did I deserve a chance.
"You're such a coward,Derek! Everybody knew you didn't want it to end! For once in your life, brother, could you stop running away from everything! Stop saying you don't deserve this and that! Those are just excuses, you and I both know it!"
Laura was so mad at me that day, but she was right. I've lost everyone and it was my fault. My stubbornness got in the way, I was so determined to be unhappy that I let the most important thing in my life walk away from me.
She looked so beautiful that day. Her long hair was down and contrasted with the beautiful white dress she had on, but when she smiled as I walked out of the door I could see the sadness. She already knew what I was going to say because she knew I believed that cutting her off was the best thing for me. No matter how much I tried to keep her out she never really left my brain.
I felt the first few drops as I stood outside of the tall building then suddenly it started to pour down. Peter walked out the double door with an umbrella in his hand when he looked up our eyes locked. He gave me a cautious look the looked back up at the building.
"She's inside you know."He said, and I nodded.
"She hasn't left her apartment in a week."
I looked down at my boots feeling guilt wash over me.
"I heard this song on the radio the other day, I believe the lyrics were, " Sometimes goodbye is a second chance."' Peter smirked and walked past, climbed into his car, and drove off.
I shuffled into the door and past the front desk. The woman at the desk looked me over with concur, but kept quiet nonetheless. The elevator ride was quiet aside from the ding as we passed the 1st floor, that silence was shattered as the door opened with a bang. I slowly walked to her apartment then rose my hand to knock on her door, but she opened it before I had the chance.
My eyes widened as I looked down at her, but she wasn't alone like Peter said.
"Stiles?"
