Can You See Me?

I woke up to screaming again as I did every day. I was sick of it all. I stared at my ink black walls and just made pointless wishes about having a better life. I knew that it would never happen. I’d still wake to screaming parents and siblings. I’d still get beat for no real reason and I’d never stop getting bullied at school. I pushed back the dark purple covers on my bed and stepped onto the soft white carpet. I looked over at my alarm clock. It was only 6:00. I’d woken up early again but I didn’t mind because today may very well be the best day of my life. Two of my best friends and I were going to our favorite bands concert. Asking Alexandria. We were set on meeting them and I didn’t want to be let down so I called one of my best friends, Stephanie. Stephanie had a history of making plans and then backing out and telling everyone at the last minute. I heard her “End Of The World Party” ringback tone by I See Stars. I smiled for such an opposite to myself, I think music was the only thing we really had in common. That and our undying desires to be wild and accidentally getting ourselves in more trouble than regular16yearold girls should be able to. I heard a click and then a small, high pitched voice answered “Hello?” She sounded groggy and I knew I must’ve woke her up. “Hey Steph.” I said calling her by the nickname I’d given her in the 5th grade. “Myka? What’s up girlie?” She asked. “Nothing really, just making sure that we’re still going to the concert tonight.” Stephanie sighed. Oh no here came the disappointment. “Gosh, do you have no faith in me Myka?” I smiled, I swear I loved that girl as if she were a much better version of my own sister. “No I didn’t, but now I might.” I told her and she laughed. “Yeah well, be ready for another day at school girlie. Bye bye.” She said and I heard the phone hang up. I set my iPhone on my black nightstand and went over to my dresser. I dug out my favorite red tank top that had lace patterns on the top and put on a black jacket over it for dress code. I pulled on some black skinny jeans and black knee high boots. I glanced over my outfit one last time and went over to my mirror. I had what a lot of people called a “Scene” haircut even though it was only my bangs. They were thicker than the bottom lair of my hair giving them more volume and I liked them like that but today I decided to just brush them down and move them to the side. I clipped them down with a bobby pin and put on some black eye shadow, black mascara, black eyeliner, and a little bit of a light red lipstick. I dabbed a little bit of pink blush on my high cheek bones and I was ready. The only part of myself that I really loved were my eyes. I thought that they were a really pretty color. A very light brown color with a hint of green in them. I was so excited for tonight I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t wait to meet Danny and Ben and Cameron and Sam. I especially couldn’t wait to meet James! I adored James he was so funny. He almost reminded me of a lost kitten on the bloopers for “Through Sin + Self Destruction”, it was adorable. I glanced at the clock and it was time to go to school. Considering the fact that I had to walk every day since my parents and siblings hated me with all of their being. I braced myself for any of the unnecessary hell I was about to get and opened my door. My mom and dad had stopped fighting but it was always this kind of silence that scared me the most. The silence where you know the fighting is over but the anger still has to be taken out on someone. And I knew that someone would be me. “Um, I’m going to go to school now mom.” I told her and tried to scurry to the front door as quickly as possible but she stopped me. “You are so rude.” She said to me. I looked at her from where she was sitting. “What did I do?” She jumped up and slammed her hand on the kitchen table and started screaming. “WHAT DID YOU DO?!” Her face was turning red and she walked over to me. She was about to beat me and I just got the old bruises to go away. “YOU ARE A GOOD-FOR-NOTHING, FREELOADER AND I’M LETTING YOU LIVE IN MY HOUSE AND YOU CAN’T EVEN SAY GOOD MORNING OR HELLO?! I SHOULD GET YOUR FATHER AND LET HIM BEAT YOU!” She screamed at me. I saw her walk over to the kitchen counter and grab the long metal spoon. “No mom, please don’t! I’m sorry I won’t do it again! I swear I won’t do it again! Just please don’t hit me!” I yelled as I sunk to the floor. I heard a door open and saw my sister, Arianna, come out of her room. She was the closest sibling to me but that really wasn’t saying too much. Still she was the only one that would help me during these sort of situations. “ Leave her alone!” Arianna screamed at my mother and I took the opportunity to open the door and run out. I ran until I got to school and I swear I was ready to pass out. I’d also made a decision. I wasn’t going back home. Never, I just couldn’t function there anymore but I didn’t bring my money or my phone. I was going to have to sneak through my window and it was a good thing I’d left it open. I would grab some clothes my money and my phone and I would never see anyone in that house again.

“Miss.Nicolette?” I heard the art teachers voice say. “What?” I asked in reply. “You should be more respectful of your elders.” He said to me. I looked him straight in the eye. “I should but I’m not.” I said and I heard a bunch of ooo’s go around the classroom. Then I heard them start chanting “Detention”. No wonder they all hated me anyways. When I told them I didn’t care when they started doing this stuff, I don’t really mean it. Of course I care but I just don’t let them see it. Then they’d really think I was weak and personally I think I am but I’m not going to let them know that. “Come up here Miss.Nicolette.” Said the art teacher and I did as her said with a small roll of my eyes. I stood leaning on the chalkboard with my arms crossed. The teacher came near me with one of my previous drawings and shoved it in my face. “This is no where near quality work.” He said poking my head and then I snapped. “WELL IF IT’S NOT FREAKING QUALITY WORK, WHY DON’T YOU DO IT SINCE I’M NOT FREAKING GOOD ENOUGH!” I said and ran out of the classroom. I busted through the front glass double doors of the high school and ran out. I ran all the way back to my dread house but I went the back way and stopped at my room window. I stepped up on the big heater we had outside and looked through the window to make sure no one was in the room but I could hear screaming again. This was the perfect time to get in and get out so I did just that. I slid in through the window even though everything on me except my stomach screamed “I’M TOO BIG FOR THIS TINY WINDOW!” I finally wiggled my butt through the window and landed as gently as possible praying that they didn’t hear me and they didn’t because they just continued screaming. I quietly tip toed to the door and lock it though just in case one of them wanted to barge in. It would give me a warning and some time to get out. I reached in my closet and got a huge duffel bag and filled it with clothes and in the side pocket I put my phone charger and all my make up in it. I quickly grabbed my phone but I accidentally knocked over my lamp. Then there was dead silence. Oh God I had to get out. I heard running and then I ran to grab my money and a bottle of Jack Daniels from under my bed and finally got my cigarettes from under my pillow along with my lighter and bolted right as the door broke down. I screamed getting out because I’d cut myself on a jagged piece of glass squirming out of the window. I felt a push on my foot and fell out of the window and landed on my ankle instantly feeling it pop. I didn’t care though I had to run before they caught up. I finally got back to the school and it was about 4:30. I could see the kids were already gone and I didn’t see Stephanie’s car so I pulled out my phone and called her. “Hello? Myka! Where were you? I was so worried I didn’t see you waiting for me like you usually do! Are you okay?” She asked with genuine worry in her voice. “Yeah,” I said breathing heavily “Can you meet me at the park swings across from the school… like now?” I asked her and she said yes and that she would be there in five minutes. I limped over to the swings and sat in one just as Stephanie pulled up she didn’t live very far away from here. She ran over to me her pink blazer and beautiful long brown hair fluttering behind her. “Are you okay?” She asked me again. “Tell the truth I saw you limping.” She said. I looked at her “No I ran away and my dad caught me trying to sneak out of the window so her pushed me and I landed on my ankle.” I told her. “Oh my gosh. You don’t have anywhere to go?” She asked me. “No not yet.” I replied. She grabbed my hand. “Your staying with me.” She said seriously. “No, Steph, I can’t you and your mom already do so much for me.” I told her. “And I don’t care you agree to stay with me or we’re not going to the concert.” She said and I had to say yes. I felt tears well up in my eyes though. She pulled me into a hug. “What’s wrong?” She asked me. “I feel so useless!” I told her truthfully. She looked at me. “You are NOT useless! You’re my best friend and I love you like I love Bridget!” I smiled in her arms and put mine around her. Bridget was her twin sister and my other best friend and she acted more like I did. “What time are we leaving then?” I asked her. “The show starts at ten and it takes about an hour and a half to get there so I’d say at about 8:30. Just so that we can get there on time and get our backstage passes.” She said and I already felt better.

It was 7:00 and Bridget, Stephanie, and I were getting ready to go to the concert. I had on a strapless black corset top that made my breasts look even bigger than the D cup they were already in. Then I had on a frilly black skirt that came up to the top of my thighs. Just short enough that I could walk and it wouldn’t show my underwear. Then I had on cute knee high, high heeled gladiator heels. Lastly I put on the same make up I’d had for school and I was done. Bridget was in a black tutu skirt and black low cut tank top with black sandals. Stephanie was in a strapless black sparkly dress that shimmered every time she walked and had on regular high heeled boots. Finally we finished at 8:25 and jumped in the car.

We bought our backstage passes and went to the front row of people in the concert. We could see heads turn when we all walked but we liked the attention. We didn’t get it very often. We heard wolf whistles and people shouting at us that we were hot or sexy and honestly we loved it. When we got to the front row we all three let loose. Bridget’s hair came out of it’s neat ponytail and soon we were all grinding on each other. We could see that we had caught the attention of a lot of people because there was a large circle if people around us. Asking Alexandria was playing “Not The American Average” and that’s really when we all went at it. We pulled random dudes into the circle with us and we danced with every single one of them until we heard a voice yell out. “These ladies right here really know what this song is about!” Then Stephanie freaked. “OH MY GOSH! DANNY JUST SAID THAT!” She screamed and I smiled. This night was amazing. With that last song the show ended and we all went backstage. “Oh my gosh! That was amazing!” I screamed. “So was that dancing.” I heard a deep and accented voice say behind us. We turned around and standing there was James Cassells himself! My jaw dropped and from the corner of my eye I could see Bridget looked like she was going to pass out. I closed my mouth and said “Thank you!” In a really high pitched voice and James smiled. He had a bottle of water in his hand and he gestured toward the other band members. “You guys wanna come hang out for a few hours with us?” He asked us. “We’ll be going to a bar with a couple other bands. But if you don’t wanna come that’s fine too. The mates and me said you girls would seem like fun so I’ve actually been out looking for you guys.” I looked at Stephanie and she nodded and so did Bridget. “Yeah, that would be great to hang out with you guys!” I squealed and he just smiled even wider. “Alright then, follow me.” He said.

When we got to the other band members they were talking to other fans and signing stuff for them. James tapped Danny’s should and said “I found them.” And Danny grinned. “I knew there was a reason to have faith in you James!” He said and clapped James on the back. “So are you wonderfully talented lap dancer going to be joining us tonight?” He asked us and I let Bridget handle it since she was the one with a crush on Danny. “Yes!” She said happily. “Well the signing is almost done so you girls be ready to have the night of your lives!” He said and I pulled something from my duffel bag. It was the bottle of Jack Daniels. Danny’s jaw dropped. “I thought you girls would be all goody two shoes,” Danny said “But apparently you speak my language!” He said taking the bottle. This really was going to be the night of my life.