Making Hits for Your Heart

Thanksgiving was happening—this year was different for The Maine. It was different from being at home with family or even on the road with the crew doing makeshift Thanksgivings in some random city while on tour. This was the first time they were recording and album and spending Thanksgiving as a band without their crew or family.

The guys had spent the early hours of the morning recording with Brendan and Jamison, “Kennedy’s Curse” after hours and figuring out the arrangement of the song and setting up and dialing in equipment for everything they had planned. They had finally attempted to record the song John had written the night after he had played “Truth or Drink” with Jamison. Everyone sat in their designated areas ready to record as Brendan gave them the signal to start.

Oh this feels like the Kennedy Curse
And everything inside is dead
I'm on the fence about what feels worse
The one leaving or the one in bed

In a dream she's talking dirty to me
Just in a language that I can't speak
Then she kisses my scars
As she cuts out my heart
And places it right on her sleeve

John who was in the other room to record his vocals so they wouldn’t bleed together was listening to the song being played through his headphones—it had sounded completely different than what they had planned and began internally freaking out. Although anxious he finished the song and quickly went to the control room with the rest of the guys to hear the first take of the song. Luckily, when listening to through the monitor speakers it had sounded like everything they wanted and more.

“Sounds so different than what it does on our headphones.” Jared said, sounding almost relieved at what he was listening to.

“I was just going to say that dude…” John said.

“We were all like eyeing each other—almost panicking a bit.” Garrett said pointing at everyone besides John.

“Now you know it isn’t a problem, let’s do a few more takes.” Brendan said as sleep was filling his eyes.

“Dude, go home. I’ll finish up here… you have Thanksgiving with your family and extended family in a few hours. Go home and sleep.” Jamison said, shooing Brendan away from the soundboard and pointing to his things that were strewn on the couch.

“Are you sure?” Brendan asked, looking at his watch and realizing it was past 2AM.

“Of course. Go home old man.” Jamison answered, waving her hand nonchalantly like it was nothing.

“Thanks lady…” Brendan hugged Jamison, then looked over at the guys. “You guys have a good time with your mini Thanksgiving too. I can’t wait to hear what’s to come tomorrow.”

“Have a good Thanksgiving.” Jared said, as Brendan began grabbing his things and the other guys had said the same.

“You guys too.” Brendan smiled as he waved and left the studio.

“Let’s try it again.” Jamison said, taking a seat as the guys nodded and headed back into the recording room.

They had tried a few more takes before Jamison’s voice came through their headphones.

“John, try and just dig and tear into that piano at the end.” She suggested, “Just like beat it into submission or something.” Causing everyone to laugh at her suggestion.

“Alright.” John said, before slamming into his hands into the piano to prepare himself.

A few more takes and they had finally gotten the take they needed for the album.

“We got it.” Jamison said, as every came into the control room. “Let’s go back home and sleep…” Covering her mouth as she yawned.

“We all need to wake up at like 11 to start cooking and shit.” Garrett said looking at his phone to see it was nearly 4AM.

“Set our alarms.” Jared said, as everyone took out their phones and began setting their alarms to wake up and help cook their Thanksgiving meal.

“Like synchronized superhero watches.” Garrett said in a girly voice causing everyone to roll their eyes and leave the studio for rest.

Hours later they all had woken up to prepare for their own Thanksgiving meal. Everyone was responsible for their respective side dishes and collectively helped with the turkey with desserts courtesy of Mama and the people at Hermitage Café.

After all their hard work they sat around the dining table they had set—plates, utensils, salt and pepper mills, napkins, placemats, wine glasses filled with red wine, beer bottles, and all the food they had made together.

“We should go around and say what we’re thankful for…” Jared suggested, as he looked around the table for any objections to his suggestion.

“I am thankful that we’re almost done with the album and that this whole process has been nothing but awesome vibes even when we all had our disagreements and shit. I am thankful that we’re a band and that I get to make music with my family. I love you dudes.” Garrett said, looking at each of his band members. “I am also am thankful for badass Brendan and rad badass Jae for everything—in and out of the studio. Also thankful for the awesome music and other cool shit that is out there in the world—like The Rolling Stones and pizza.” He added as everyone laughed at the latter statement.

“I am thankful for my family, Tessa, Chewy, and you ding dongs that I play music with… the 8123 family and all our friends… and fans.” Jared began, before shifting his eyes around the room like there was a fly. “I am also thankful for Brendan for being a badass. I feel like if I don’t mention him even though he’s not here he will know. So Brendan, you’re the man. I also am thankful for Jamison and just being a badass extraordinaire in so many ways. You being apart of all this has been nothing but crucial yet such a blessing for us.” He looked at her thankfully with a smile.

“I am thankful for just everything—family, friends, you guys, my dog, and being able to play music and get to have experiences only people our age dream about having. We get to travel and make music instead of sit behind the desk and hate our lives. So… I just am thankful that I’m able to love my life.” Kennedy said with a smile forming upon his face, realizing how much he had to be thankful for. “And that we are making an album with such wonderful people like Jamison and Brendan. I know that this album will be the one that changes us as musicians. Also, thankful we didn’t burn and fuck up any of the food we all worked so hard on making.” He chuckled as everyone yelled their own profanities in agreement to his words.

“I am thankful for family, friends, the band, the fans, food, my health, being able to even record this record, and good music... to be able to travel and meet awesome people and have awesome adventures. I really don’t see myself doing anything else especially without you guys. So yeah… thanks.” Pat said, laughing nervously as he was feeling a bit shy with his sentimental words, “And thankful for Jae and Brendan… and for Ryan Adams who influenced me to find Brendan, and Brendon again for putting Jamison on the record.” He added causing everyone to laugh at the sudden mood shift.

“I am thankful for still breathing and being alive. For family, the band and our crew you guys are my second family, the fans, 8123, booze, food, dogs… music. Just everything. I am just a thankful bastard today.” John laughed at himself, “But especially for Brendan and Jamison… these past few months have been some of the most enlightening occurrences that I have experienced in my life. Thank you guys for helping us grow.” He looked over at Jamison giving her a lopsided smile.

“I am thankful for family, friends, being able to do what I love for a living, health, food, and… being able to live this life I’ve been given. I am especially thankful for being able to work with you guys. It has been… inspiring and amazing. I am beyond grateful for you guys letting me apart of something so important and just each of you for coming into my life and making it even more awesome.” Jamison said, looking at each of the guys with a small smile before starting at the food as a semi-awkward silence lulled upon them from saying their cheesy words.

“Let’s eat!” Jared yelled, as everyone quickly followed and began to dig into their food.

After much food and alcohol consumed amongst the 6 of them. Everyone helped tidy up and hung out around the kitchen still digesting the ridiculous amount of food they had all consumed.

“Food coma.” Pat groaned, putting his head on the kitchen counter dramatically.

“Let’s do dishes tomorrow.” Jamison said, as she was putting leftovers in the fridge.

“For sure.” Jared agreed taking a sip of his beer.

“Crawling to bed.” Garrett said, rolling on the floor. “Or Jae, drag me to my room.” He crawled over to Jamison and grabbed her leg.

“I am not dragging you up a flight of stairs… nor could I.” Jamison said with a laugh as she tried to shake Garrett off her leg.

“Jae...” Garrett whined like a child.

“Garrett…” Jamison mocked, looking down at him trying to hold back more laughter.

“Carry me too!” Pat yelled jumping on Jamison’s back.

“I am too small for this—this isn’t cool.” Jamison whined, trying to shake the two off of her as everyone else watched in amusement.

“I’ll give you 5 dollars!” Pat offered, arms tightly around her neck.

“I’ll give you 10!” Garrett yelled from the floor still not letting go of her leg.

“No amount of money will give me the strength or will to carry you guys.” She whined.

“I’ll carry you son.” Jared said, as he polished off his beer and grabbed Pat from Jamison’s back like a fireman rescuing someone.

“To the basement!!!” Pat said happily, “Let’s play some pool!” Jared began walking towards the basement door holding Pat like it was just something he always did.

“Are you going to carry me Kenny?” Garrett asked still on the floor holding on to Jamison’s leg.

“No, ask John.” Kennedy said with a laugh.

“Fuck that!” John yelled before Garrett even ask causing everyone but Garrett to laugh.

“Fuck you guys!” Garrett yelled giving the finger to no one in particular as he got up from the floor.

“Drink a beer to drown your sorrows…” Jamison said, handing a bottle of beer to Garrett.

“We got two more weeks…” Kennedy mused as he realized how much time had passed.

“Good vibes.” Garrett said, taking a sip of his drink as the comfortable silence lulled upon them. “I’m going to get in on that game of pool.” He gave Jamison a quick hug before heading to the basement.

“I am too.” Kennedy said, getting up from his seat and went over to Jamison, “Thank you Jamison.” He said coming up behind her and giving her a back hug.

John and Jamison were left in the kitchen alone. Jamison took a piece of pie that was leftover and began eating it as the silence was still presented upon the two. John quietly sat and mulled over his thoughts.

“No pool for you?” She asked, breaking the silence as she looked at John while eating her pie.

“Maybe later.” He gave her a weak smile.

“Food coma?”

“Yeah. Thanks for hosting Thanksgiving for us.” He said, “I know we were a bit bummed we couldn’t be home.”

“I like doing stuff like this. Usually depending where I am… I’m at someone else’s Thanksgiving. This was nice to have kind of my own thing.”

“Will you do it again next year?”

“Maybe, depends where I am in life…” She said in an almost ominous manner, “And I don’t know if I could go on next Thanksgiving without your potatoes.” She joked, cracking a smile at him as John began shaking his head in laughter.

“Well, I did make some pretty awesome potatoes if I do say so myself.” He said proudly, throwing a smirk at her.

“They were great—if you screwed them up, I would’ve have punched you and called you a poor excuse for an Irish.” She looked at John with a smirk as he laughed at her remark.

“You hit right here.” He pointed to his chest, “With your words.” clutching his heart in mock agony.

“It was my intention to go below the belt.”

“I’m going to stop there cause I made about a dozen dirty jokes in my head just now.” John said, going into another fit of laughter.

“I did too…” Jamison admitted, shaking her head and laughing at the jokes she had thought up in her head as she finally took a seat across the kitchen island from John.

“So question…”

“Shoot.”

“Do you parents call you Jamison or by your Korean name?” He asked curiously, he wasn’t sure why he was so interested but it seemed to be a thought on his mind for a while.

“My Korean name but on occasion, they call me other things…” She said vaguely causing more intrigued curiosity in John.

“Like what?”

“I feel like if I say, confusion will arise or ridicule.” Jamison laughed, shaking her head.

“What is it? Tell me.” John pleaded with her like a child. She looked up from her plate of pie and took a deep breath before answering.

“Jam.”

“Jam?” He didn’t believe what he had just heard.

“Jam.” Jamison confirmed with a smile that almost seemed like she was shitting around with him but her eyes at shown honesty.

“Seriously?”

“You’re parents call you Jam?!” Jared yelled, walking into the kitchen just moments before she had unveiled her secret.

“Jamison is just a bit too many syllables for them. Which is weird cause they did name me.” She admitted with another laugh.

“Jam…” John said, as he and Jared laughed over the newfound information they learned about their producer.

“And the kicker is… they do it with their Asian accent so it’s like…” Jamison cleared her throat, “Jam.” She said with a thick Asian accent causing Jared and John to laugh in hysterics.

“I’m calling you Jam from now on!” Jared said happily, as he grabbed a beer from the fridge. “Making it a thing! Jam Song.” He laughed again.

Jared walked back to the basement to continue the game of pool that was going on, leaving John and Jamison alone again in the kitchen trying to settle down with the laughter that erupted just moments ago.

“Jam… that’s a good one.” John said, letting out another laugh.

“What do your parents call you?” Jamison asked, pointing her fork at him.

“Just John… on occasion my mom calls me ‘Sweets’” He gave her a sheepish smile.

“Cute.”

“Does anyone call you Jamie?” He asked, realizing all the members had their own way for addressing Jamison.

Garrett calling her “Jae”, Kennedy continuing to call her “Jamison”, Pat had alternated between “Jamison” or her rapper name he created for her, “JSong”, and Jared now had decided to call her “Jam”.

“Actually…” She thought about it for a moment before answering, “No.” in a surprised manner. “No one has called me that…”

“I’m going call you Jamie, it’ll be my nickname for you.” He gave her a proud lopsided smile at his new invented nickname for her, “While everyone else calls you Jam or something else. You’ll be my Jamie.” He laughed.

“I’ll take it.” She smiled at him.

-----

Another day of recording and another night John couldn’t sleep. He had another been going through some old songs he had written when they were in pre-production, one had always stuck with him but never revealed the others the song since he never really thought it would fit the album. He had snuck into the studio and fiddled with the piano trying to figure out how to arrange the song—even if the song wasn’t going to be on the album. He wanted to finish it… it had been the most honest thing he had written.

He began thinking back to what he had Jamison talked about a few weeks back and the chord it struck with him.

“Do you think it’s possible to just stop caring or loving someone?”

“I don’t know… I think that’s a big fear I have. But I think it’s possible to realize you never loved or care for someone and I think that’s harder than telling someone you love them.”

“You think so?” He said intrigued by her opinion.

“Loving someone is a good thing, how could that be taken in a bad way? Telling someone you don’t love them… who likes hearing bad news? Forming those words are probably harder than saying, ‘I love you’” She explained her thoughts.

Just then his thoughts were interrupted by the recording room door being opened and Jamison appearing in front of him.

“Oh, what are you doing here?” John asked, a bit startled by her presence.

“I saw the light on from my room… I thought I forgot to turn it off.” She explained standing in her pajamas with a hoodie keeping her warm.

“I was just working on a few things… I thought being here would help me get to work.”

“Is it helping?”

“I think my brain is a bit stuffed.” He chuckled, admitting a bit of defeat. Jamison walked out of the room and reappeared with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and shot glasses.

“They make booze for that.” She smiled at him, taking a seat beside him on the piano bench.

“Yes please.” He said, as she closed the piano placing the shot glasses on top of the wood and filled them with whiskey.

“You and I have probably coined a new therapeutic activity I will call, ‘Drinking Therapy’.” She said, jokingly as they clinked their glasses before downing the alcohol.

“Which is what exactly?” John asked as he felt the alcohol wash down his throat and into his bloodstream.

“This thing you and I do; it’s a bit different from the regular therapy we're all use to… you have a few drinks, say what’s on your mind, or anything. Just say what you mean. It’s cheaper than paying a certified stranger… you already paid me and Brendan our fee.” She teased, as she filled their glasses again.

“So included in your producer’s fee, is me bitching and spilling my guts to you?” He asked, smirking at her assessment of their late night chats with filled alcohol.

“No that part is free… so is the booze.” She smiled at him, “And it’s not you spilling your guts to me, it’s good conversation.”

“Not going to disagree…”

“Well, now that I’ve given you fuel, I’ll leave you to do your work now…” She said, grabbing the glasses and bottle before getting up from the piano bench ready to leave him to do what he did best.

“Do you mind staying here with me? I want to finish on a few more things…” He asked, hoping he didn’t sound like a child or desperate or lonely.

“I am here to work on the album you and the guys want—anytime, anywhere, anything you want or need. I am here. So of course, I’ll stay here. My life revolves around making this album happen at the moment…” Jamison said, placing the whiskey and glasses on the floor before taking a seat next to him on the piano bench again.

“You are incredible. Thank you.” He smiled at her thankfully, “More whiskey for you later.”

“While we’re on the subject of thanks… thank you.” She said sincerely causing John to look at her in a bit of confusion.

“For what?”

“Trusting me enough to be apart of this whole process. I know you aren’t used to outsiders and things… and let’s be honest, especially a girl. I know getting outside help beyond what you had in mind wasn’t something you initially wanted but thanks for letting me in.” She looked at him straight in the eye has he felt the honestly come out of not only all her words but her eyes.

“You’re welcome.” He said, “I don’t know if this was implied but… I consider you a friend, a good friend at that. Not just someone who is making this record come alive.”

“You are quite the friend also.” She smiled, flattered by his words “Let’s get to working Mr. O’Callaghan. What do you need me to do for you?”

“I know we’re short a song or two and I wrote this song when we first started pre-production… I wasn’t too sure if this song even was right for The Maine. But I was thinking about what we talked about the when we played ‘Truth or Drink’ and brought it back out.” He rambled, wondering if he even made sense at all.

“Can I hear it?”

“I only have the basic chords of how I want it to sound but… here’s the gist of it.” He said, trying to delay the situation he brushed his fingers over the keys before he began playing.

I really should just go home
And play with myself
Better that than stay
And do something else
Cause we can't be friends that much I know
I wish it wasn't so
And I can't take my heart someplace it won't go
Show me to the door

As if a place crash were timely
There's no good time for bad news
These four words don't come easy
"I don't love you"

Listen to your friends & leave me alone
I'm just a boy
I'm drunk, I'm 24
I don't want to hurt you anymore
Don't waste your tears on me now pretty girl
When I hate myself for letting you go
You can be the one to say "I told you so"

As if a place crash were timely
There's no good time for bad news
These four words don't come easy
"I don't love you"

As if a place crash were timely
There's no good time for bad news
These four words don't come easy
"I don't love you"

“What do you think?” He asked nervously, wondering what her reaction would be. She seemed to look absorbed in her own thoughts before she looked at him with a smile.

“I think we found another song to put on the album…” She simply said, as John released an internal sigh of relief.

“Really?” He asked excitedly, wondering if she was just being polite but he also knew she was always serious when it came to music.

“I think Brendan and the guys will think the same.” She nodded her head, “I do have excellent taste.” She joked causing John to chuckle.

“Can’t argue with that…” He shook his head.

“It’s the most honest thing you’ve written so far isn’t it?” She asked, catching him off guard.

“You could tell?”

“I could feel it… I am really lucky to work with someone of your caliber.” She said looking at him like she was completely proud of him.

“Thank you… for everything.” He said, looking straight at her if his simple words couldn’t get through to her, his eyes would. “You’ve helped me in so many ways… I can’t imagine this whole thing without you.”

Jamison put her hand upon John’s shoulder and stared at him for a moment—John began getting lost in her eyes and feeling his breath get short because all she was doing was staring at him without doing anything else-- making him feel almost uneasy. Finally after what seemed like forever she simply just cracked a smile.

“Come on, I’ll help you figure out the rest of the chords to the song to show the guys tomorrow.” She simply said, before playing a trill on the piano for him.