Cry for the Moon

Sleep came and went for the rest of that morning. Every time I closed my eyes a different nightmare smothered my subconscious, and so, at one point, I just stopped closing my eyes. The wait for sunrise had been agonizingly boring after my Ipod died, but even still, I sat there with drowsy eyes for what seemed like an eternity, Other than a mild fatigue, I was well awake.

At six thirty, just before the sun came up, Roy descended the steps with a yawn. He was always the first one up. How he managed that, I had no idea. Men were usually not particularly fond of morning, but then again, neither was I. If I wasn’t up all night, then I usually was not up this early, but, there were a few exceptions to that, like Christmas.

“You’re up early,” Roy chimed with a dazed, sleepy smile. “Is it Christmas already?”

“Not quite,” I replied.

“Aw, darn, Mark’s been dying to show you what he got you. You’re gonna love it.”

“So I’ve heard.” I sent Roy a smile. “Would you like me to help with breakfast,” I asked quietly as I got up, following behind Roy, who was heading for the kitchen.

“No, Mark invited us over for breakfast. Apparently, there is someone he’d like us to meet,” Roy explained setting about making coffee.

“Oh, yeah? And who’s that?”

“Didn’t say.” Roy paused for a moment as the loud beep signaling that the coffee pot was on screamed out. “But I’m guessing it’s Isaac’s girlfriend.”

“I thought she wasn’t coming until spring,” I replied.

“That’s what he said,” Roy answered. “But,” he continued a moment later. “Perhaps that is why he’s been so secretive lately.”

“Perhaps so, Roy,” I chimed softly, taking notice of my book lying near the microwave. I reached out, pulling the book towards me, holding it silently, protectively. I hadn’t even considered the thought that Roy might look through it. When he saw how I held the book, Roy sent me a small, almost sad smile.

“I didn’t look through it, if that’s what you’re wondering. You were holding it pretty close, so I thought better of that, however, a picture did fall out, so I tucked it inside the front cover,” Roy explained as her poured us both a cup of coffee.

“Thank you.” My voice was quiet and half hearted as I answered him and I nearly cringed. I was giving away much more than I wanted to, but I was too tired to care. Roy sighed, handing me my cup of coffee as he sat down across from me.

“I assume he is a friend,” Roy spoke, breaking the silence that had settled between us. I nodded stiffly.

“He was.” Roy didn’t miss the past tense there and I was almost willing to be he hadn’t missed the un-maskable sadness in my words either, but even still, he didn’t say anything about it. He just looked at me with some peculiar sense of understanding, but he had no idea what I’d lost.

“What happened,” Roy asked softly. He seemed to know he was treading on thin ice. It didn’t matter how softly he spoke or how tender his words were, though. A part of me was screaming; begging me to just tell him, but all the fear I felt inside was telling me not to.

I’d vowed not to say anything and it was a pledge stained in blood. I wouldn’t, I couldn’t say anything.

He’ll find me if I do. He will know and he will come for me. He will come and he’ll hurt someone else that I love.

That thought nearly made me sick as it crossed my mind.

What could I tell Roy, though? I couldn’t just lie to him….

Tell him.

I took a quick, hard gulp of coffee.

No.

“He went away,” I answered finally, skirting widely around the truth.

“To where,” Roy tried. My throat suddenly felt very dry and my stomach turned. My head was starting to pound and the pressure was almost too much to bear.

“I don’t know,” I said lowly, fearful that my voice might break and betray me. I did known, of course, and to even think of that made my eyes sting, but I couldn’t tell if it was from pain, or lack of sleep. Or both.

“What’s his name?” I was silent for a moment. That, at least, I could tell him.

“Elias,” I answered. “Elias Hale.”

“Ana…” Roy started warily. “You know you can trust me, right? And Thomas, too?” I blinked in surprise, hearing his words. That seemed almost a stupid question to ask, but I understood his motives.

“I do,” I answered.

“Then why don’t you tell us what’s wrong? We’re worried.”

“I won’t tell you because I can’t,” I snapped. “I can’t.”

“Mark’s worried,” Roy replied, his words sharper. I glared at him now. How dare he even think that would get me to say anything? Why would he think I even cared what Mark thought?

You do care, stupid.

“I don’t care what he thinks,” I retorted.

“Yes, you do,” Roy challenged. “Ana, just tell me what’s wrong. You can’t keep this up, you’ll make yourself sick.”

“So be it,” I barked stubbornly. “I’m not telling you. I can’t.”

“Yes,” Roy pleaded. “You can.”

“No, I can’t.”

.X.

I ignored Roy after that, and I hadn’t said much to Thomas, either. I’d merely gotten ready in silence, listening to my Ipod once I finally got it charged again. I’d thrown on an old Skid Row t-shirt, some jeans and my boots, and then after that, I’d resigned myself to sitting in the living room reading The Heroin Diaries for the third time since I’d bought the book. I’d been just as quiet during the ride to Mark’s too.

I shrugged off my leather jacket as me and the guys entered the living room. We were greeted by Yves, Simone, and Arien, but, surprisingly, not by Mark, Isaac and Coen.

“Coen is in the kitchen,” Simone spoke, seeing me look around questioningly. As usual, the singer’s eyes were bright and she had a smile on her face as Oliver appeared from some other room.

“And Isaac and Mark?” I asked.

“Don’t worry, they’ll be back soon.” I frowned slightly at that. I’d been looking forward to seeing him. Simone must’ve noticed my change in demeanor because she sent me a small, knowing smile.

“In the mean time,” Simone started again. “I was going to practice some of the new songs. Would you care to help?” That caught me by surprise.

“Me,” I asked.

“No, I was talking to the wall. Yes, you, Analii,” Simone answered with a grin.

“I don’t sing,” I replied.

“Oh? A little bird told me you did.” She smirked now and I let out a laugh, finally smile.

“Mark,” I grumbled. “That little…” Thomas glanced over, sending me a confused look.

“Ana? You don’t sing… do you,” Thomas questioned.

“When I want to,” I replied, considering Simone’s earlier question. Maybe singing would make me feel better.

“Are you up for it,” Simone asked. I smiled at her.

“Yeah, I am.”

.X.

“What do you want to sing,” Simone asked as she handed me a pair of headphones.

“I thought we were going to practice new songs?”

“Well, let’s start with something you know,” the red head answered. I thought to myself for a moment. Most of Epica’s songs were written for Simone and Mark both.

“Unleashed,” I answered finally and Simone grinned.

“Good choice,” she chimed. “Go ahead, Thomas.” I took that time to glance at Thomas through the window of the recording booth. He was behind the computer, lounged in the high-backed leather chair. Wonder what he’s thinking, I thought to myself as I put on the headphones Simone had given me. I didn’t have time to ponder long, though, because as soon as my headphones were in place, the music started and I took a deep breath, prepared to sing.

.X.

Simone and I sand for nearly an hour and a half before deciding to stop, and when we did, I felt like I had six cups of coffee instead of one. I practically bounced out of the recording booth and into the studio, flopping into the chair next to Thomas with a grin.

“Hi,” I chirped. Thomas smiled, throwing an arm over my shoulders as he pulled me to him.

“Why, hello there, little song bird,” Thomas replied. “Won’t you tell me all your secrets?” Thomas had me in a light headlock now and he ruffled my hair playfully, just to bug me.

“What secret,” I replied, smacking him in an attempt to make him let go. When he did, he answered my question.

“Who taught you to sing like that?”

“I taught myself,” I answered, glad he wasn’t taking guesses like Mark had. Then again, that had been mildly amusing. “I guess my mom was kind of the one who started it.”

“Could she sing,” Thomas asked. I nodded, smiling, think back to the songs she’d used to sing.

“Well, you are-“ Thomas paused, hearing commotion out in the living room. Figuring that Mark and Isaac were back, I hopped up to go see with Thomas following behind me. I made my way down the hall, but stopped short, hearing a loud bark and then a hiss. I looked back at Thomas in confusion and he just shrugged. Upon reaching the living room, Thomas and I found Mark and Isaac standing by the door. Next to Isaac, right at his side was a pretty, blue eyed girl with long, brown hair wearing jeans, a Nightwish t-shirt, and a thick black jacket. Next to her, sitting obediently at her feet, hooked to a red leather leash was a grey and white Siberian husky. I smiled, immediately recognizing her.

“And this,” Isaac spoke, smiling like an idiot. “Is Thomas and Analii.” The girl looked to us and sent a brilliant smile our way.

“Hi,” she greeted. “I’m Koda.”