Even the Sun Sets in Paradise

“So, I need your advice,” I told Mel as we walked through the shop a few days later, buying things for the baby’s room.
“Okay shoot.”
“Well, Layton was round mine the other night, and I don’t know, I guess he was acting kind of odd.”
“How do you mean?”
“He was a bit shifty and jumpy and I might be wrong, but it seemed like he’d been taking something. I know he used to do cocaine as a ‘social thing’ but I assumed he’d stopped.”
“Shit,” she muttered under her breath, “Did you ask him?”
“No, I checked his jacket when he left the room but there was nothing. Maybe I’m just being paranoid but it seems like there’s something going on.”
“I wouldn’t think he’d be that stupid. He knows how much you hate drugs and he knows the risk it poses to the baby’s future,” Mel explained.
“That’s what I thought. But then…this is Layton we’re talking about. And I guess if he’s addicted he can’t stop overnight.”
“True. Maybe check next time you go round his,” she suggested.
“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking, I really hope I don’t find anything,” I admitted.
“Me too.” We changed the subject, trying to forget about it while we focused on buying things for the baby. Since Julie refused to let me pay anything towards bills or food for myself, I had a fair amount of money from working at the shop. Combined with the money Layton had put towards it, I had enough to start buying furniture, clothes and other things for the baby.

I put off talking to Layton about the drug thing for a while, but by Friday it had been playing on my mind so much I wasn’t sure I could take it. The guys had come round for the evening as usual but I decided to stay upstairs because I wasn’t sure I could sit with Layton without either starting yelling at him or breaking down crying. I wasn’t surprised though when there was a knock on the door and Layton walked in. I figured he would come and see me at some point.
“Hey you, what’s up?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I lied.
“Clearly there’s something otherwise you’d be downstairs. You’re not avoiding me are you?”
“Of course not,” I told him.
“Liar,” he sighed, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. A nervous smile played on my lips as I debated how to tell him.
“Jenna, tell me what’s wrong,” he pleaded.
“Fine,” I muttered, “It’s just…the drug thing.”
“Not this again Jenna,” he frowned.
“Sorry but what do you expect me to do?” I sighed, trying my best not to sound aggressive, “I’m scared for our baby’s future here.”
“You know it’s only a social thing.”
“It’s not though is it?” I sighed, looking him straight in the eye. He sighed, dropping his head in his hands.
“Baby I’m sorry, I just get stressed out. It makes the shit stop for a while.”
“Do you not think I get stressed out? Do you not think every person on this entire planet gets stressed out? You don’t see me turning into a crack addict.”
“Yeah well maybe I’m not as strong as you Jenna,” he muttered, rolling his eyes. That really pissed me off, because I wasn’t strong. Why did people keep saying that? I wasn’t strong at all – I was simply smart enough to know that drugs weren’t the answer. If I was strong, why would I have tried to kill myself? Why would I struggle to get through one fucking day without falling apart?
“You know what? I can’t do this,” I admitted, “You wanna take drugs and get drunk every weekend, cool whatever, but don’t expect me to wait around and watch you throw your life away. It’s over.” With that, I grabbed my jumper and stormed down the stairs, past the guys and out into the night. The only thing I hated more than being out alone was being out alone in the dark but right now I needed time to think. The whole situation had escalated so quickly. This was the last thing that I expected to happen. I had just got so caught up in the moment and made a reckless and impulsive decision, but maybe it was the right one. I didn’t think I would ever break up with Layton, let alone this early on, but maybe I wasn’t ready for a relationship after all. I had enough to focus on with school and work, along with the added pressure of the baby and George. The last thing I needed was a drug-addicted boyfriend. I had spent enough time worrying over stupid things like that.
“Jenna!” I turned round to see Rowan quickly catching up with me. I stopped and waited because I knew Rowan wouldn’t give me a lecture, and I also knew it wasn’t a good idea to be out alone at that time of night. He caught up and pulled me into a tight hug.
“Hey what’s wrong?” he asked me. I sighed, carrying on walking because I didn’t want Layton to find us should he come looking.
“I broke up with Layton,” I told him.
“I figured that much,” he admitted.
“How?”
“Layton stormed down the stairs after you, punched the wall, yelled about how it was over, and then sulked off outside.”
“Oh,” I frowned. I wasn’t sure whether that was the sort of reaction I was expecting. Did it show how much he cared about me? Or did it show how much he cared about his reckless lifestyle?
“I thought you two were made for each other. What happened?” he asked, his eyes full of concern.
“The drugs Rowan; I hate how he drinks and smokes and says the drugs are only a social thing but they’re not.” Rowan exhaled sharply.
“You really hate drugs don’t you?”
“Yeah,” I admitted, “Maybe I’m being unreasonable but that’s one of the things that I’m really sensitive about. It’s hard to explain but it’s that one thing I really can’t let go. I can get over the fact he didn’t speak to me for weeks. I can get over the fact he ‘forgot’ to tell me he’s the father of my child, I can get over all his frustrating stupid habits, but not this. I really hate this.”
“Jenna, can I ask you something?” he asked, and I knew by the look in his eyes it could not be good.
“Sure.”
“Do you know George Liscio?”