You're Still the One

I burst through the front door and whipped past mom; who was busy washing the paint off her fingers. I was half way to my room when she caught up with me.

“Julie what's wrong? What happened?” She asked all at once. My mother had a genuine look of concern on her face and I felt no point in lying to her. I sighed and pulled her into my room and closed the door, afraid Ollie might still be in the guest room and overhear our conversation. I laid across my bed.

“I can't be around him, Mom.” I mumbled. “It's too hard.” I heard her sigh as she stretch out next to me on my bed, propping her head up with her hand.

“Julie, he's moved on and so should you. There is no point in you torturing yourself like this.” I rolled my eyes and continued sulking.

“Mom, you don't understand. I try so hard to forget him, but I can't. Him coming home just made it worse.” She nodded in understanding.

“Jules, you're never going to just forget Billie, he was a big part of your life.” I eventually tuned her out because I had heard this speech before. My mother had a lot of boyfriends in high school before she met my dad, and she was normally the one dumping not the one being dumped, so me taking my break up with Billie so hard was foreign to her. I tuned back in just as she was finishing.

“Julie, why don't you get out tonight? Go to that music club you were so crazy about.” Gilman? It had been months since I last went. I had missed it, but, the last time Sid took me, I left crying due to the fact the break up was still so fresh. Would going back be the push I needed to get on with life?

~***~

~One Month Later~

I don't know how she did it, but mom actually talked me into driving down to Gilman's for the night. I was a little apprehensive walking through the door, but I was relieved to see that it hadn't changed at all in the last eight months. Couples were grinding on each other and the room was full of thick cigarette smoke. I made my way over to an empty table and sat down.

Thankfully, Sid ended up coming and I was happy to actually know somebody. All the other times I had been to Gilman, I was with Billie or Mike and Tre. I stuck close to the stage during their performances and left when they did, and as much as I loved punk rock and the whole scene that came with it, some of the people that came to Gilman you didn't want to mess with so I didn't ever stick around by myself. I looked around the room and noticed the crowd was starting to get antsy so I knew they'd be bringing the band up soon. I ordered a coke from the bar and turned to Sid and shouted over the speakers that were blaring 'The Clash'.

“Who's playing tonight?” I asked while opening my coke. He shrugged and shouted,

“ I don't know! They said it was a surprise.” I nodded and took a sip of my coke. Five minutes passed and suddenly there was a huge cheer from the crowd. I glanced at the stage and my eyes widened at the sight of blue hair I almost had to laugh at how awful my luck really was, of course I come here trying to get my mind off Billie and his band ends up being the featured artist. I turned to Sid, ready to make up an excuse to leave, but he stopped me before I even begin. “Jules, you can't keep running from him. Yo gotta face the music sometime. No pun intended.” He said with a laugh. I looked at him with a glare. “I'm so glad my pain amuses you, Sidney!” I snapped. He held up his hands in surrender. “Woah Julie, I'm not laughing at you, it's just that you gotta lighten up a little.” He shoved me playfully. “C'mon at least stick around for a couple of songs.” I sighed in defeat. As much as I hated to admit it, Sid was right, so I agreed to stay for the first set.

~***~
“Long time no see, motherfuckers!” Billie screamed through the microphone. The crowd roared and applauded as Billie shielded his eyes from the stage lights. “Well, looks like we got a good crowd going guys. Think we should play?” The crowd roared again. Billie strummed Blue and walked up to the mic. “This one's called, 'I Wanna Be Alone'.” The crowd cheered and the mosh pit filled instantly, soon there was enough body heat in the room to smother you. I could already feel sweat running along the side of my forehead and by the third or fourth song I had somehow been moved to the middle of the crowd. The crowd cheered when the song ended and Billie began speaking again. “You guys wanna hear a new one?” They roared in response and Billie smirked. He paused for a second and chuckled. “This one's called, 'The One I Want'.” The crowd cheered once more as the song began.

“Sittin' in my room last night
Starin' at the mirror
I couldn't find a reason why
I couldn't be near her?”

Billie's voice captivated me as he sang. I continued listening and found myself actually enjoying it, but I couldn't help but wonder if any of these songs were about me. I quickly reminded myself that Billie was with Adrienne and that they could all very well be about her. I watched intently as Billie played and couldn't help but wish that they were.

“Cause you are the one that started
To make me feel this way
And every night I'm thinkin'
About those words you'd say

Pictures going through my mind
When we're together
All these long and sleepless nights
Will I ever get better?

'Cause you are the one that started
To make me feel this way
And every night I'm thinkin'
About those words you'd say
'Cause you are the one that I want
'Cause you are the one that I want
'Cause you are the one that I want
'Cause you are the one that I want.

Now you know how I feel?
This love is forever
You make my life seem so unreal
Will I ever get better?”

'Cause you are the one that started
To make me feel this way
And every night I'm thinkin'
About those words you'd say
'Cause you are the one that I want
'Cause you are the one that I want
'Cause you are the one that I want
'Cause you are the one that I want
'Cause you are the one that I want
'Cause you are the one that I want
'Cause you are the one that I want
'Cause you are the one that I want.”

The song ended and the crowd cheered and whistled in approval. I even found myself clapping when it ended. I looked down at my watch and realized they would be ending soon and come walking through the crowd. I didn't want to chance running into Billie and ruining what had actually been a fun night. My eyes darted around the room looking for Sid, and to no avail did I see him. Billie walked back over to the mic stand for their final song.

“Think you fuckers can stand one more?" He shouted. The crowd responded very enthusiatically. He wiped the sweat off his nose and strummed Blue. The song began and the mosh pit quickly resumed. I was walking towards the exit when three sweaty bodies knocked into me. I felt a sharp pain as my nose came into contact with an elbow. I was knocked to floor with boot clad feet all around me. My nose hurt like a bitch and I could feel warm blood running down my face. The music stopped and I heard someone yelling. It was Billie.

“Wait a damn minute you fuckheads! Don't just stand there, help her up!” I felt a pair of arms wrap around me pick me up off the floor and stand me to my feet.

“Holy shit. Julie!” Billie yelled into the microphone before slinging Blue off and jumping down off the stage. The last thing I remember is seeing a blurry figure with blue hair coming towards me and fading to black.