The New Face of Failure

At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you *will* get chlamydia... and die. – Mean Girls

Patrick glanced over at Harper who was sitting in his passenger seat, her eyes fixated on her window. He had the music blaring because now that they were alone in his car, and all his eyes could focus on was her bare stomach, he couldn’t seem to find words to speak. It didn’t help that he felt gross and sweaty from their set, even though she had hugged him afterward and told him how great they were. He definitely felt that it was their best concert to date and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was because he knew someone he actually liked was watching and he wanted so desperately to impress her.

When Pete told him that he had went ahead and invited her to his party afterward, Patrick was slightly upset because he wanted to be the one to invite her, but he knew that Pete was only trying to help, so he eventually let his anger pass. Luckily, Joe decided to ride in the van with Pete and Andy and all of the equipment so that Patrick and Harper could have alone time in his little Honda Civic, but now that they were in the car, he had no idea what to say to her. All he wanted to do was hug her again… and again… and again. When she had hugged him the first time in the dressing room, his whole body seemed to light on fire. He tried to suppress his urges because they weren’t alone and he didn’t want to freak her out, but all he could think about afterward was the feeling of her soft skin on his fingertips. It was enough to make any man go crazy.

“So, um, you guys are recording in Chicago soon?” she asked him, breaking the silence.

Patrick turned down the radio, which he was grateful for because a Justin Bieber song had just come on. “Yeah, in October. I’m so freakin’ pumped to be in a real studio recording our own stuff.”

“That is really cool. I didn’t realize how popular you guys were,” she said. “That crowd loved you.”

He grinned. “We’re popular with a small, but loyal fan base. The underground culture here is really something surprising to most people. That’s how a lot of rock bands get famous though, you know? They have to build a following and gain the respect of the, you know, indie world and then find a record label that wants to support them.”

Harper shook her head. “It’s weird, you know? I love music, my sister and I follow pop culture pretty religiously, but you never really know all that goes into it, all it takes to get to that point until you’re actually in it, you know?”

“Definitely, Pete and Andy have more roots in it than I do, heck even Joe does. They have been playing in hardcore bands forever. I was just some annoying kid who gave Joe lip at Barnes and Noble and they decided to put me in their band.”

Harper smiled. “I’m glad they did, you’re really good.”

Patrick felt himself blushing. “Aw shucks, thanks,” he said, trying to be playful. “I don’t think I’m much of a singer, but…”

“Are you kidding me? You’re voice is amazing. You’re like MJ or Justin Timberlake. I mean you were doing falsettos! Who does falsettos in rock music?!” she exclaimed.

“Well, don’t ask me to dance like them though, that’s definitely a talent I DON’T have,” he laughed. He liked how excited she was about the band, and more particularly, about him.

“Well, then I will have to teach you,” she teased, a small smile on her lips. He raised an eyebrow at her doubtfully. “What? I am an excellent dancer. My sister and I used to learn all the moves to like Justin Timberlake songs and records ourselves doing them.”

“Really?” he tried not to laugh and she frowned. “Sorry, it’s just… that’s cute.”

She playfully pushed his shoulder. “Whatever.” She then glanced out the window again. “So what was it like growing up so close to Philly? I mean, the only time we’ve been here was for field trips to the museums and stuff.”

He shrugged. “It’s probably not much different than Harrisburg. I mean, I went to school, hung out with my friends on the weekends. The biggest difference is probably the music scene. It’s nice to be so close to so many professionals and venues and stuff. That’s, you know, in essence the best part about living here. Though, I’m really kinda excited to go to Chicago.”

“Why?”

“Man, the scene out there? It’s phenomenal, it takes it up a notch. That’s where some of the best bands have come from.”

“Oh, I feel kind of stupid now,” she said, “I guess I always thought everything was done in LA or New York.”

“Well, yeah, I mean there’s a lot of recording and stuff that is done in those two cities, but when it comes to origins and influence…” He stopped himself. “Sorry, I’m getting really longwinded.”

She gave him an appreciative smile. “No, please, I really do like talking about this stuff. I think it’s cool. I mean, you listen to me talk about writing and that is not nearly as exciting as what you are doing.”

Patrick took the exit for Pete and Andy’s house and slowed down a bit, looking over at her. “What you do is exciting.”

She laughed a little. “No, I don’t try and publish anything and tour or anything like that. I just sit in my room writing pages that only Charley, and I guess now you, read.” She frowned again. “It’s kind of depressing actually.”

Patrick could feel her mood sour and he quickly said, “So why don’t you?” She looked at him oddly. “Why don’t you publish it? I mean, it’s really good, Harper. You could put it online or something.”

She blushed. “I don’t know…”

“Come on, I’ll look into some stuff. I’ll help you.” He wanted more than anything to see her happy at that moment, but he genuinely did want to help her.

She gave him a hopeful look. “You really would? But you’re so busy with classes and the band…”

Patrick just shrugged. “Nah, classes aren’t hard. And I can help you and work on the band stuff no problem. That’s what friends do for each other right?” He saw her smile falter a bit and then he realized what he had just said. Did you seriously just throw yourself in the friends zone Stump? His inner voice admonished.

“Thanks, um, Patrick, that means, a lot, it really does,” she said trying to hold her smile. She then turned her attention back onto the road and Patrick pulled up in front of Pete and Andy’s house. The street was already lined with cars and he could hear the thumping of a Drake tune coming from inside.

“So, ready to go inside?” He was hoping that once they were inside, he could try and reroute the conversation away from him being just a friend.

“I don’t know, I just don’t like the general spirit of music,” she said, staring at him straight-faced.

Patrick grinned, recognizing the quote and said, “Hey, a lot of people doubted this party at first, but it’s a magical place. You have to give it a chance. If those walls could talk they would say “this is a magical place. You are safe here. We have talking walls. We’re not going to eat you.”

She burst out laughing. “Okay, Michael Scott if you say so!”

He rushed out of the car and ran to her side before she could fully open the door. He opened it for her and she blushed again. “Milady,” he said bowing slightly, his fedora falling off.

She bent down and picked it up. “Your hair is so sweaty,” she commented, and she ran her hands through it, her eyes intently staring at him.

Kiss her, you idiot. This is the perfect time, that nagging voice exclaimed. He chewed on his lip nervously and raised a hand to pull her toward him, but they were interrupted by Joe’s obnoxious voice.

“Finally! You drive like my grandmother Patrick!” Joe exclaimed, rushing toward them. He grabbed Patrick and picked him up. “Woo! Time to get you drunk!” Patrick felt himself gasping for air as Joe squeezed him tight. He could see Harper covering her mouth, trying not to laugh out loud at them.

“Joe, dude, let me down!” Patrick gasped.

Joe dropped him and Patrick landed unevenly on his feet, stumbling a bit. “A year ago, I wouldn’t have been able to do that. Patrick used to be a bit chunky, if you know what I mean,” Joe said as an aside to Harper.

Patrick groaned. “Thanks Joe, and if you didn’t already realize, Joe might have a drinking problem,” he said, giving him a hard look.

Joe haphazardly threw his arm around Harper’s shoulder and in a slurred voice said, “I like to think of it as a drinking solution, not a drinking problem.” He gave her a sloppy smile.

Patrick slightly deterred, slumped his shoulders and started walking toward the house. “Come on, let’s get him back inside before he starts fist pumping out here.”

As they walked inside, Joe was going on and on to Harper about their performance and the wonders of the acoustics in the Electric Factory, and Patrick lagged behind just a bit, his eyes trying not to stare at her backside as she walked. He kept trying to think of ways to pull her away from everyone, but he quickly realized that once they were in the party, he might not have a chance to be alone with her. Great plan, Pete, he thought.

They walked into the party and Joe took them straight back to the kitchen where Pete was sitting on top of their white Formica-topped island, taking shots with their friend Charlie. Charlie was much larger than the other guys, and rightly so, since he was the manager at the local gym in their town.

“Look who I found!” Joe called out in a sing-song voice.

Pete turned around and grinned wolfishly. “Damn, Patrick, I was about to call out the hounds.” He jumped down from the island and walked over to give Patrick a hug.

“Sorry, got stuck in some traffic,” Patrick said apologetically. He looked at Harper who was now standing by herself since Joe got distracted by some girl in a tight dress who had flung herself on him. “Do you want something to drink?” he asked her, having to shout over the crowd and the music.

She gave him a nervous smile. “Um, sure, I guess.” She had wrapped her hands around her exposed stomach and stood there looking more awkward than Patrick felt at the moment. Pete came up behind her and rested a hand on her shoulder.

“Me and Charlie’ll keep her company. Go get your lady a drink!” Pete remarked.

“Oh, um, okay,” Patrick stammered and he pushed through the crowd toward the back door where they kept a large cooler for the beers. He grabbed two bottles of Bud Light, not his favorite, but they weren’t exactly rich yet, and twisted off the caps. He took a large gulp of his.

“Liquid courage, my friend,” Andy said, coming up to him. He was sitting out on the back porch with a couple of his straight edge buddies. He slapped Patrick on the back. “Any progress?”

“Yeah, in the wrong direction. I made a comment about being her friend,” Patrick said dully.

“And you think you’re done for now?” Andy asked him.

“Yeah, I mean, I can’t flirt! I’m not suave like Pete and I’m not brave like Joe.”

“But she didn’t say yes to Pete and Joe. She said yes to you,” Andy pointed out. “So, that’s something, you know?”

Patrick sighed. “I guess so.”

“Courage, Patrick. You’re a cool dude. And talented. And you’re not half bad looking.” Then Andy grinned. “Although we all know you wouldn’t stand a chance against me and my hot bod.”

Patrick laughed and took another gulp of his beer. “This is true.” He looked through the kitchen window at Harper who seemed to be loosening up a bit as Pete and Charlie entertained her. He was wondering what they were telling her. “Okay, here I go.”

Andy gave him two thumbs up and Patrick went back inside. He eased his way past a couple of girls from his high school who were a year younger than him. “Patrick Stump is that you?” one of the girls asked.

He paused and looked her way. It was Avalyn Henderson. She was the new head cheerleader in the school and according to Joe, slept with most of the guys in their class, including Joe, but definitely not Patrick. He was really overweight in high school and right around senior year decided to do something about it since the guys were starting to get serious about the band. “Uh, hey Avalyn,” he said to her, surprised she even remembered his name.

She grinned seductively and grabbed her friend’s hand, approaching him. He thought her name was Shelly. Avalyn swung her long blond hair over one of her shoulders, exposing the bare skin underneath. She had worn a strapless shirt and hugged her curves and exposed her tan and sculpted neckline and shoulders. Under any other circumstance, Patrick would have been left breathless, but his mind was on Harper. He glanced back at her and she had snuck a peek at him, looking worried. Crap, he thought.
“It is sooo good to see you! I was at the concert tonight, you guys kicked ass,” she said, grabbing at the edge of his t-shirt. “You looked really hot up there singing…”

“Uh, wow, thanks, I really appreciate that,” he said, gulping. “But I have to go, actually.”

She pouted. “What? Why? Me and Sheena were just about to go upstairs and get lit and we wanted you to join us.”

Oh, Sheena, not Shelly, he corrected himself silently. “Well, that sounds appealing, but…” Avalyn had slipped her hand up his shirt. “Whoa!” he jumped back and her grin widened. “I, uh, appreciate the offer, I really do, but uh…”

“Avalyn, dear, I don’t think Patrick can handle what you’re putting down right now,” Pete said, coming between them suddenly. Patrick heaved a sigh of relief.

“Well, what about you, Petey?” She grabbed the buckle of Pete’s jeans and started undoing it.

“Are you 18 yet?” he asked her. She giggled. “Okay, then you may want to stick with someone else. Or the two of you can just make out.” he pointed at her and Sheena and they both giggled louder. “Right. Okay, why don’t you guys go upstairs and get your smoke on.” He grabbed Avalyn’s shoulders and turned her around. She rolled her eyes and grabbed Sheena’s hand.

“Let’s go, these guys are no fun.”

Pete shook his head. “It’s really not fair, you know that Patrick?” he turned back around and looked at him. “Well, what are you waiting for? Go talk to her!”

Patrick nodded and quickly made his way over to Harper. Charlie was telling her a story about some meathead who worked at his gym and Harper looked like she couldn’t keep her focus on him. When her eyes found Patrick was close, she turned away from Charlie and smiled wide. “Patrick!” She flung her arms around him and he could smell tequila on her. He saw three empty shot glasses on the island. “Can I tell you a secret?” she whispered to him.

“Um, yeah, go ahead,” he said, his skin prickling as her lips barely touched his ear.

“I have never drank before in my life,” she whispered and started giggling furiously. Patrick’s eyes widened.

He set his bottle of beer and the one he brought for her on the island, grabbed her by her upper arms and pulled her back. “Wait, what?” he looked at Charlie and Pete, who had met back up with them. “How many shots has she had?”

Pete and Charlie looked at each other and shrugged. “I dunno, I don’t count my shots, I just take them every time Lil’ Jon tells me to,” Pete replied. “Maybe four? No, five. Oh hell, I’m no good at math, man.”

Patrick looked back at Harper, who’s eyes were glassy and unfocused. “Shit,” he muttered. “Harper, how are you feeling?”

“Fantastic! Allonsy!” She exclaimed.

“Making Doctor Who references, well that’s not terrible,” Patrick remarked to himself.

“What’s wrong Patrick?” Pete asked him.

“She’s never drank before,” Patrick said worriedly.

Pete and Charlie both cheered. “Woohoo! A true virgin indeed!” Charlie exclaimed.

Harper whipped around. “Hey! I told you that in confidence!” she was turning beet red. She looked back at Patrick.

“Don’t worry, so am I,” he said to her in a low voice so that no one else could hear. She seemed so embarrassed and he wanted to make her feel comfortable. Plus, now that he knew she was also a virgin, he felt a little less nervous around her.

“Oh I knew that already,” she said bluntly and Pete and Charlie were behind her looking at him with amusement.

“Wh…what?” Patrick stammered.

“I heard you tell Pete that you were one over the phone a few days ago,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Heard him tell Pete he was what?” Joe asked, coming up to them, a red-headed girl in a short sequined dress attached to his waist.

“A virgin,” Harper answered.

“Okay, if we can just stop saying that word…” Patrick said, blanching.

Joe grinned. “Oh, we all knew that already,” he replied. “Guys, I want you to meet Bianca. We are in love and I’m going to marry her.”

“Oh that’s so hot,” Bianca gushed and she pushed Joe against the wall and started making out with him.

Patrick looked over at Pete and Charlie who were laughing. Harper was watching them in shock. “This is so weird!” she exclaimed. “Now I know why people go to parties!” And that comment made Pete and Charlie laugh harder. A T-Pain song came on then and Harper grabbed Patrick’s hand. “Will you dance with me?”

Patrick grabbed his beer and gulped down the rest of it. “Um,”

“He’d love to,” Pete answered for him, grabbing him by the shoulders and pushing him toward her. “this is your chance man,” he whispered.

Harper grabbed his hand and pulled him into the living room area where boys and girls were grinding up on top of each other as T-Pain was talking about how he has money in the bank. Patrick was not a great dancer, this they had already established, but for this kind of dancing, there wasn’t much he had to do. He placed his hands on her hips and pulled her close to him, hoping she knew how to do the rest.
And she did not disappoint. Her hips moved rhythmically to the beat, her body pressing hard against him. Oh my God, he agonized, praying that he wouldn’t accidentally poke her. She rested her head against his chest and continued to grind her hips into his, her hands reaching up and wrapping themselves around his neck.

“Yeah Patrick!” Joe exclaimed from the far side of the room. Patrick looked up and glared at him and Pete and Andy, who were both standing with him. Pete mimed for him to move his hands lower and Patrick shook his head. He didn’t want to come on too strong. Pete gave him a stern look and mouthed, ‘Do it.’

Patrick took a deep breath and went to move his hands lower, but she whirled around, her hair hitting him in the face. She was now facing him, her face flush from the physical exertion, chewing nervously on her bottom lip. He stared into those green eyes and could feel himself getting lost. “Patrick?” she whispered. Oh, she sounds so sexy when she whispers, he thought.

“Yeah?” he said, in an equally low voice.

“I don’t feel well.” Her eyes suddenly widened and she moved away from him and ran into the kitchen. Patrick rushed after her and when he reached the kitchen she had her head in the trash can and she was throwing up all of the tequila that Pete and Charlie were hand feeding her earlier.

“Oh shit,” he muttered, coming up to her and rubbing her back. “Harper, I’m so sorry.”

Pete, Joe and Andy reached the kitchen and Pete groaned. “Man, gotta clean that out now.”

Patrick whirled around and looked at him angrily. “Why did you give her so many shots, Pete!?”

Pete gave him an apologetic look. “Sorry, I didn’t know she never drank before.”

Harper’s vomiting stopped and she looked up at Patrick, her mascara running down her face from the tears in her eyes. She looked completely embarrassed. “Is there a bathroom somewhere?”

“Take her to our bathroom, Patrick,” Andy said, and he started walking toward the bedroom hall and gestured for them to follow. Patrick grabbed her arm and led her toward Andy and Pete’s shared bathroom.

Andy opened the door and turned on the light. Patrick ushered her in and Andy smiled at them both sympathetically and shut the door behind them. Harper fell to her knees and started to cry. Patrick wasn’t really sure what to do, but he didn’t want her to cry. He knelt beside her and gathered her hair up. There was a little vomit on it, but it wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to: He had helped Joe and Pete when they had thrown up and he had his own fair share of throw up stories.

She seemed surprised by his gesture. “Thanks,” she said, wiping her nose. “Oh no,” she gasped and turned her head back to the toilet and gagged.

It seemed like an eternity, but at some point, she had stopped throwing up. She flushed the toilet for the umpteenth time and sat back on her heels. “Feeling better?” He asked her, letting go of her hair.

She looked at him with a look of despair. “I need to shower,” she said.

Patrick averted his eyes quickly so that she could take off her clothes. “Oh, do you want me to get you a new t-shirt?” the tank top she was wearing had some vomit on it. He could hear her turning on the shower. His urge to peek consumed him and he quickly glanced up to see her naked body stepping into the shower. Yep, I can’t move now for a little bit, he thought, glancing down at his lap in distress.

“Yeah, that’d be great,” she said from behind the curtain. He could still see the outline of her shape and knowing that she was that close to him and naked was more than he could handle.

“Awesome, be right back!” he jumped up and ran out of the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind him. And when he turned around, he nearly ran into Joe, Pete and Andy.

“Is she taking a shower!?” Joe exclaimed, looking past Patrick toward the bathroom door.

Pete glanced down at Patrick’s crotch and grinned. Patrick quickly dropped his hands. “Yeah, looks like it,” Pete replied, entertained.

“Why are you not in there with her?” Joe looked at him confused.

“I’m getting her a shirt… Can I have a shirt for her?” Patrick said to Andy and Pete.

“Sure, let me grab one,” Andy walked to his room.

“So how much did you get to see?” Pete asked him. Patrick just gave him a look. “Oh, you dirty little man! You got a view of the whole package didn’t you!?”

“I bet she looks good without her clothes on doesn’t she?” Joe asked him.

“I am not telling you that!” Patrick remarked, shaking his head.

Andy returned then with an X-Men shirt. “Will this work?”

Patrick nodded. “She will probably want to keep this too. She has seen X-Men: First Class a dozen times.”

“Nerdy and sexy without her clothes on, how did you get so lucky, Patrick Stump?” Pete sighed.

“I’m not lucky. Nothing’s happened between us.”

“Except dirty dancing and naked shower time,” Andy replied.

“Well, yeah, there’s that,” Patrick conceded. “But I can’t do anything with her now. She just threw up and I’m pretty sure she’s really embarrassed right now.”

“Patrick, you’re a noble fellow,” Joe said, saluting him.

Patrick gave Joe a confused look. "Dude, where's your future wife Bianca?"

"Fuck that, she started naming our children so I cut that shit loose as soon as I could. She is all Bobby Moran's problem now," he said with a satisfied grin.

“Okay... We’ll leave you to it then,” Andy said, grabbing Pete and Joe by the shoulders and pushing them back to the party.

Patrick walked back into the bathroom and shut and locked the door. “Um, I have a t-shirt for you,” he called out to her. He then realized she needed a towel and opened up the closet and reached in to pull out a couple of towels. He walked over to the shower. “Harper?” He didn’t hear a response and it started to worry him. If she didn’t respond in a few seconds he was about to look in to make sure she wasn’t dead.

“Oh, yeah, thanks,” she said absently through the shower curtain.

Patrick sighed and sat down on the toilet. “Thanks for answering, I was worried you had passed out in there and cracked your head on the tub.”

He heard her turn the water off. “Patrick, that’s absolutely morbid!” she exclaimed, poking her head around the curtain. Her makeup was completely washed off and her hair was slicked back, and it made her look even sexier to him. He handed her both towels and she took them.

“Well, you never know,” he said lamely.

She opened the shower curtain, towel wrapped securely around her body and her hair. “How do I look?” she joked.

Patrick wanted to say something witty, but what came out of his mouth was a garbled mess. “Um, well, you know, haha, you look, um, blah, great, um…” He stopped himself mid-ramble. She was looking down at her feet and smiling. He took a deep breath and said, “Egyptian cotton is very becoming on you.”

She laughed. “It’s comfortable too… Um, can I have my clothes now?”

“Yeah, sure,” he handed over her jeans and the X-Men t-shirt. She looked at the shirt and grinned.

“This is awesome. I don’t think I’m going to give it back.”

“That’s what I told Andy!” he said. “But I think he has, like fifteen, so he won’t notice.”

She gave him an expectant look, as if she was waiting for him to do something. Since his mind wasn’t working properly, he just stared back at her with a goofy grin on his face. She coughed. “Um, Patrick, could you, uh, turn around?”

“Oh!” He exclaimed and he quickly turned so that he could give her privacy to change. He even closed his eyes for good measure. When he felt a small tap on his shoulder he turned around and she was standing before him, her hair damp and wavy falling in her face, hiding her shy smile. “Do you want to go back down to the party?” he asked her.

“I look like crap,” she said, gesturing to her outfit.

“So does Pete, and yet he’s adored by millions,” Patrick joked and she chuckled. “If you don’t want to, we can just…” he really didn’t know what they could do. Well, you know what the guys would want you to do, his inner voice retorted.

“Yeah?” she looked at him, her eyes full of fear, but also something else he wasn’t expecting: desire.

He took a step toward her so that their lips were barely touching. “We could… maybe….” She bit her lip and he took it as a sign that he needed to lean his head toward hers. He could feel her breath against his face as he got closer and then,

“Hey this is a bathroom not a bedroom motherfuckers!” Some random guy with a jet black Mohawk said. He pants were already unzipped and it was evident that he was ready to go.

Patrick grabbed Harper’s hand. “Sorry dude, we’ll get out of here.” He thought one of the guys were watching the door, but apparently they weren’t. He silently cursed Pete and Andy for not having locks on their bathroom doors.

The guy slammed the door shut behind them and Patrick grimaced. “Sorry, I didn’t realize anyone else knew where this bathroom was.”

She gave him a half-hearted smile and he knew that the moment had passed. “Let’s go back to the party,” she suggested.

“Yeah, okay,” he said, mentally berating himself for not moving faster. When they got back into the kitchen the guys were all standing around joking and laughing with Charlie and another one of their friends, a younger kid named Brendon. He hung out with them and talked about what he was going to do when he started his own band. He and this other kid name Ryan in their high school were playing around with some music, but they didn’t have anything solid down yet.

“There she is!” Pete exclaimed coming over to give Harper a half hug. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I know why my mom told me not to drink,” she said with a frown and everyone laughed.

“Well, lucky for you, Patrick was here to clean you all up. He’s such a choir boy,” Pete took Patrick’s fedora off his head and ruffled his hair. Patrick grabbed his hat and pushed if firmly down on his head.

“I’m getting some whiskey,” he muttered and walked away from them and over to the lower cabinet where Pete and Andy stored their liquor that they didn’t want to share.

“Aw, Patrick, come on man,” Pete called out.

Patrick ignored him and started rummaging through the lower cabinet for the whiskey. He then overheard Pete introducing Harper to Ryan and Brendon.

"Can I just say you look super hot in that X-Men shirt?" Brendon told her and Patrick could hear her giggling and say 'thanks.' Then Brendon said, "Come on, we need to dance; I'm an excellent dancer." And when Patrick turned around, Brendon, 16 year old Brendon with his perfectly coifed hair and charming demeanor was pulling Harper over to the living room where the dancing continued. The other guys seemed to have paid no mind to it at all and continued talking about whatever topic they were discussing before Patrick and Harper came into the kitchen.

Patrick poured himself half a red Solo cup of whiskey and chugged it down as fast as he could and then poured himself another. If he was going to get through the rest of the night, he was going to have to be drunk.